tessa sideblog

18 y/o , he/she a sideblog for all my unsaviory rants main blog/art blog xxxemogrrlxxx

[deludedwomen]

sometimes i dont talk about things im interested in much because i worry my friends dont care about it, or care about it to the degree i do and i dont want to be annoying, ill go from almost yapping about whatever but then sike myself out thinking no one actually cares

i miss actually having something i like and having a friend who likes it just as much as i do and we can just sit and talk about it without judgement or fear of rejection(?)

its so silly too because i know my friends care about me and my interests, i dont know why i still feel this way sometimes.

[deludedwomen]

can things not cost one trillion dollars thanks

[deludedwomen]

FUCK MY FAT CHUNGUS LIFE I HATE YOU

[deludedwomen]

i genuinely cant fathom people actually liking me for who i am i feel like people lie to me to make me feel better

feel like no one actually cares or wants to put effort into my friendship, then when i stop putting effort too i feel bad

i cant be bothered to even try anymore

being unable to go through with actually attempting while also being so achingly suicidal is tough course its all passive cause im unwilling to even try*

*because i know that if i failed, dealing with the bs my mother would say or do to me would make me wish it worked

easier to live in the misery i know then go into new territories of misery i have yet to experience

ive been in such a depressive rut recently it sucks, i just wanna die in all honesty i dont think it would matter much in the end

[deludedwomen]

i feel like in the next couple years im not gonna have any friends, its like this sense of dread, everyone is moving on and doing grown things while im still stuck here in this shithole, i still feel like a child, im not able to do the things i want and everyones growing up around me

i feel stuck and i think that makes me scared. people are changing and growing which is nice and great, but its scary

the ground i walk on forever feels unsteady, uncertain like it could fall from under me at any moment. probably why i have terrible balance to be honest, i try my best to walk as quietly as possible, never putting pressure when i step, which leaves my legs unsteady.

[deludedwomen]

i love minecraft

[deludedwomen]

sick of being single but knowing im not well enough for a relationship not even tryna be mopy im just saying i wish i could find someone whos willing to work with me while im not at my best rn

[deludedwomen]

chat how do u find love

[deludedwomen]

does anyone have any recommendations for makeup for more emo looks? i really want a proper like all greyscale palette with a good dark black and a nice lipstick or some lip product that doesnt smudge or get everywhere

i just dont know where to look :( specially online since u cant test it urself and i dont live near any instore places

[deludedwomen]

im still not over the fact they delivered my backpack in my mailbox why did u shove the extra big backpack i bought in my mailbox..?

[deludedwomen]

i need a boyfriend so bad im going to go crazy

[deludedwomen]

beat saber killed my family and its trying to finish me off

[deludedwomen]

should i use my side blog to horny post unrelated to art hrmm hrmmm idk

hmmmmm

[deludedwomen]

i just got not satire dream shipart on my dash board and shed two tears im so serious why would u ever show me that what am i into that would ever make you think i want to see that.

[deludedwomen]

i love being 18 purely because it means now i can like all the suggestive art i want publicly

YAY PORN!!!!

[deludedwomen]

im stilll learning korean i havent given up yet hehehe

im having fun i think once i figure out how to remember sentence structure i should be able to start forming small sentences on my own :3 heheheh

[deludedwomen]

ive been learning korean before my classes today for funsies doubt ill stick to it long enough but im having fun so far :3