Pretend Chapter 26: Eye Eye Eyes | Part 2
Son Chaeyoung x Myoui Mina ♡ Pool date in Australia ♡ Suggestive fluff & Deep angst | Set during Ready To Be World Tour (2023) Word count: 4874 | CW: Gender Dysphoria
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The sun hung low in the sky, a faded, golden disk that almost allowed you to look at it. Even though dusk was just a handful of hours away, the entire firmament burned with an intense and scorching heat that enveloped everything in an infinite expanse of bright, washed-out blue.
Mina floated in another, smaller blue infinity, facing the sky. Eyes closed, she felt the cold ripples of water lapping at the skin of her back, and the warm radiance of the Australian afternoon baking the front of her body at the same time.
Cold past behind her, warm future ahead. Her mind was still stuck in repetitive, obsessive thoughts, but it wasn’t tortuous memories anymore. It was brimming with possibility, with yearning of a different and more realistic kind. It was possessed by sheer want.
She stopped floating on her back and opened her eyes, turning to her own puddle of sunshine sitting on a sunlounger near the edge of the pool.
“Are you sure you’re not joining me?” Mina asked, not bothering to cover the tinge of neediness in her voice.
“Maybe later,” Chaeyoung answered with a smile. “The chlorine in pool water isn’t good for my bleached hair. I want it to hold out at least a couple more years before going entirely bald.”
Mina chuckled, hiding her mouth behind a small, elegant hand out of habit. Chaeyoung had complained about it before, saying she wanted to see every second of her smile without missing anything. Mina shot her hand down abruptly when she recalled that.
“I think you’d rock it. Even with a shaved head you’d be the cutest.”
Chaeyoung laughed, though something shifted ever so slightly in the angle of her smile. She looked back down and continued fiddling with her polaroid camera.
Mina shrugged off the tiny spike of annoyance in her chest and kept swimming, diving into the deepest part of the pool. It was funny, she thought, the way she’d felt like drowning constantly for most of her life. She thought the feeling would go away. She thought the weight of an ocean would have been lifted off her lungs when she threw herself bare in front of her love, of her end. It didn’t. She kept sinking, deeper, darker. Drawn into the depths by Chaeyoung’s siren song, into a bottomless flooded trench of desperate hunger. She'd been fed scraps, small kisses, reckless touches. It didn't sate her. On the contrary, her need became more pressing after the first taste. Longing caressed her heart from the inside, soft like a ghost. Cold like a knife. Mina held her breath until her chest hurt.
She emerged, gasping slightly, eyes closed. She brought her hands to her hair to pull it back in place, and was greeted with the sound of a shutter behind her. Shuddering slightly, a wave of satisfaction traveled down the curves of her back and dissipated into the water.
“For your collection?” She teased as she turned around, accidentally leaning into a sultry tone way more intense than she intended.
Chaeyoung blushed and stammered, trapped between a giggle and an unintelligibile word. “I, sorry, I mean, yeah, sorry. Like, uhh, can I?”
“Please do.” Mina gifted her a gummy smile. Heat emerged on her cheeks, blooming through the cold droplets that adorned her all over. “But for every photo, you’ll have to spend a minute in the pool with me in exchange.”
The girl grimaced, arching her eyebrows with an apologetic expression on her face. “I’d rather not. I’m very sorry.”
Mina sighed and let herself float on her back for a few moments again, letting her frustration simmer down and disperse into the water. She got lost in the endless pale blue of the sky once again. It was technically winter in the southern hemisphere, though even the Australian winter was as hot as a mildly crisp summer day in Seoul. Every so often a chilly breeze would blow from the nearby river and rake its claws across the rooftop pool area. It was deserted except for them. Mina couldn’t stand it anymore.
She turned to her girlfriend again. She had changed into a simple black swimsuit to go outside, with a bulky, oversized nylon jacket that covered her halfway down the thighs hanging loosely from her shoulders. She was bundled up on her chair, carefully arranging her polaroids on a towel so the wind wouldn’t blow them away.
“Is it that time of the month? Is that why you won’t come in?” Mina asked her.
Chaeyoung tilted her head slightly. It took a second for her to react, shooting her big eyes wide open. “What!? Um, no, it isn’t… No, it's… It’s kind of the opposite, actually.”
“The opposite? What’s the opposite of being on your period?”
The blonde girl shook her head vigorously. “Nevermind, I… I just misspoke.”
“Chaengie…” Mina gritted her teeth and got out of the pool, grabbing her sunglasses and putting them on with purpose as she walked to take a seat next to Chaeyoung.
“Wanna tell me what’s wrong?” She sat down, laying a hand on her girlfriend’s.
“...Pic first. You look too sexy with your hair all wet like that.”
Taken aback, Mina couldn’t hold her giggle in. The water still clinging to her skin felt like it evaporated in an instant. Her fingers retracted instinctually, clamping down on Chaeyoung’s small hand.
The photographer continued swapping between her phone and her clunky camera, taking snapshots of Mina, the view from her chair and them both together with one device and then the other, documenting reality with precious meticulousness.
At the mere recalling of Chaeyoung’s ‘Gallery of pretty things’ in her phone and the memories and mementos she kept as polaroids, Mina’s heart started leaping and flipping inside her. She was taking pictures for both collections. Pretty memories. Beautiful memories. She suddenly understood Chaeyoung’s fondness for pictures - these were moments and feelings she desperately wanted to sear into her memory forever.
Why ruin the afternoon prodding her girlfriend for answers she knew she wouldn’t get, at least not right now? She was probably nervous - after all, they were technically on their first proper date, and in a semi-public place where unwanted looks could be drawn to them. It was that exactly, nerves. Must be.
The sight before her caused a disobedient smile to ignore Mina's commands and bloom on her face, despite her efforts to contain it.
“Instead of a photo, I’ll do you one better.” Mina said.
“Waaay ahead of you. Been taking videos too.” Chaeyoung answered without looking up.
“That isn’t what I meant.” Mina’s voice had lowered without her permission.
A violent gust blew over them, making Chaeyoung’s hair thrash about wildly. She gave one of her soft tiger cub screams and giggled, covering the pictures she’d printed with a towel. Mina shuddered.
“Really? What did you mean, then? Do me what better?” Chaeyoung continued.
It still roused her like the first time, it still shook her from the soles of her feet, it still made the tiny hairs on her neck stand on end and the knot in her throat tighten and unravel. In the past few weeks she’d blissfully, thankfully lost the count of how many times she had kissed Chaeyoung’s plump, soft, rosy lips. How many times she’d felt the curve that fell into the corners of the girl’s mouth tug and stretch into a smile pressed against her own. How many times she’d opened her eyes during a tender and careful bite to steal furtive glances at her long eyelashes resting on her blushing cheeks. The times she’d caught her looking back with those big, round eyes with beautiful dark pupils she could fall into and never be found again.
She was no longer aware of how many times Chaeyoung had cradled her face with such care and reverence that she felt like the most valuable and fragile thing on earth. She had no idea how many seconds she’d spent feeling the girl’s round tip of her nose brush lightly against the sensitive skin of her face, locked in an embrace.
Thousands of times by now, probably. And still Mina’s soul was set alight with the same blinding brightness each and every time.
A low grunt rolled out of Chaeyoung as her lower lip was caught by a soft, affectionate nibble. Mina pushed with her face, hungry, desperate, forcing her girlfriend to lean back into the chair. With some effort, Chaeyoung pulled back, panting.
“Not… We’re not…” She looked around, her chest heaving. “We’re alone, right?”
Mina nodded and kissed her again, but Chaeyoung quickly used her hand to caress her cheek and gently guide her away again.
“You’re getting me all wet.”
Mina felt like her heart had jumped into her mouth. “What?”
“Pool water, I mean.” Chaeyoung’s face burned up in a second, blushing intensely. “Mina, I’m… I don’t feel okay doing this outside. Anyone could come up and see us. Let’s… try to keep it lowkey, alright?”
“Take it elsewhere, then?” Mina asked with a breathy whisper.
The younger girl only looked at her, mouth slightly open as if asking for more. She hesitated for a moment.
Selfish, brash and reckless, Mina took Chaeyoung by the hand and got up before she could speak.
______________________________________________________________
Ever since I was little I’ve spent most of my time alone, locked in my room. I wasn’t really interested in people and I wasn’t good at communicating, so I spent all day with games, knitting, legos and toys. I was perfectly content by myself. When I entered highschool I was pushed and shoved into having a more active social life, but I think I didn’t change much. My hobbies remain the same all this time later, and most of my days are still just like that: alone, locked in my room. Familiar, comforting walls all around keeping me safe and hidden. There’s scary stuff outside.
Sometimes I feel like there’s something fundamentally different in me, though. I couldn’t tell at first, not until I ventured out and talked with other people. But it was always there. Turns out I’m pretty, who would’ve thought? Boys lined up to confess to me, but I couldn’t reciprocate. There’s nothing there for them. My classmates couldn’t understand it. Couldn’t understand this thing I have inside me. They went out on dates, got boyfriends, broke up, talked about love. Got their hearts broken, their bodies taken, their lives changed. I was tormented by a strange hunger while everyone around me feasted, but I didn’t even have a mouth to eat with.
The longing, the loneliness inside me grew until I couldn’t take it. I stole a bite. A single morsel. I was quickly taught I mustn't even open my mouth. That I must stay safe and hidden. There’s scary stuff inside. So the hunger grew. Unchecked, ignored. Years passed, and I withdrew more and more into my room, into myself. I gave up on love. It wasn’t for me. But then I met her. My Chaeyoung. I wouldn’t say she helped me open up. Saying she turned me inside out would be more accurate.
It’s her face. Her voice. That tiny pointy tooth that pokes out from the edge of her smile. Her shadow, her very silhouette. It’s enough to shake me out of the autopilot I had settled into and start living my life again. To live it with purpose, to take control. All to steer myself in her direction. I’m locked in my room like always and she’s sitting right there at the edge of the bed looking up at me, making the walls feel like they’re a mile away. Making me feel exposed, in danger and dangerous. Her beauty mark calls to me like it’s done from the very first time I saw her, saying ‘put a thousand kisses right here.’
Lust I’ve known, and learned to suffocate. This goes beyond that. She’s earned my heart, taken it by force by merely existing next to me. And as if it wasn’t enough, she stares at me with those big doe eyes, those long eyelashes batting the air at every blink. Asking what I’ll do to her without using words. She’s the cutest thing in the entire world, and I want to eat her up. Her soft voice. Her skinny frame. Her small hands. I adore all of it. There’s a sweet heaviness in the air. It’s so heavy she can’t lift her eyes, stuck to the floor. It’s hard to breathe. I’m trembling with excitement. I want to find an explanation, but there’s nothing there for me. Maybe it’s the way she’s always been there for me, taking care of me when I couldn’t. Maybe it’s the way she tries to cheer me up even through her own sadness. Maybe it’s how she taught me not to be scared anymore.
I don’t know what it is, but the heat that builds up in me, the cloudy daze I’m slipping into, it’s all making the room feel cold. Her loving gaze prods me onward. It takes some effort for my voice to come. “Undress me, please.” She doesn’t. Her face changes. The excitement, the yearning mirroring my own is still there inside her eyes, but her posture shrinks. I grab her hands and she doesn’t pull away. They’re warm, and small. Smaller than mine, but her fingers are long, longer than mine. I guide them to my neck and back, and this time her hands comply and shake against the knot and clasp of my bathing suit until they’re undone. I let her go. Her arms fall back onto her lap and she stares, vacant, frozen, so I take care of the bottom piece myself.
I look down in a haze, and barely recognize the naked body I see. Poised for what it’s demanding. Tensed as if prepared for straining work. Covered in the slight shimmering moisture of the pool, a cold layer of microscopic droplets that makes light bounce off the skin in ways I’ve never seen or imagined. There’s something a bit like pride, resemblant of confidence, that sparks in my chest. Laid as bare and enticing as I can be in front of the maw I’ve so long dreamt of offering myself to. There’s no reaction. She’s perfectly still.
“Chaeng-Chaeng?”
She jolted, looking up and refocusing her vision. Mina grabbed her hands with tender care. They were still shaking. The black-haired woman took a step closer to her girlfriend, who was sitting on the edge of the bed and looking up at her with fearful reverence through watery eyes.
A few minutes ago she was barely able to process the sight of Mina’s bare back, interrupted only by a pesky strip of black cloth running across it. The smooth, soft, unfairly perfect skin of her back had been an object of her obsession for years, and a cherished view whenever she used open-back clothes for a photoshoot, a concert, or right now. From barely being able to function just for seeing her in a bikini, having Mina be completely naked in front of her had caused her to shut down, if not only for the impending doom she was going to be put through. It was too much.
Mina caressed the back of her hands using her thumb. The stimulation brought her back to earth for a moment.
“Back then, at the park, I asked you to kiss me. But I had to do it myself.” Mina said. Chaeyoung looked back down at her feet.
The woman continued, raising her voice ever so slightly. “...I asked you to come with me here, but I had to drag you by the hand. I asked you to undress me and here I am in front of you, of my own volition.”
She sat down next to Chaeyoung, who wouldn’t move at all anymore.
“I don't have a problem with asking, even begging, if it's for you. But I make you do all this, and you don't even protest, and won't reject me… And yet you won't lay a finger on me either, unless I do it first.”
The younger girl swallowed coarsely.
“What is it that you want, Chaengie?”
It took her a moment. “I want you, but-”
“No, don't say but.” Mina’s voice went back down to her gentle, whispery tone, brimming with careful kindness, though shaking with impatience.
“Say it in one word, or a single sentence, but no excuses anymore. Please. I know the thing you want the most isn't me. That's fine. Tell me what it is.”
Mina was expecting to see tears, but they didn’t come. Her girlfriend clenched her fists instead.
“I just want to feel like it's okay to be me, alright?” Chaeyoung looked at her abruptly. The tears were there, a reflection in the girl’s dark pools, expanded by anxiety. They were just refusing to fall.
Mina’s heart was squeezed. “Oh Chaeng-Chaeng, you're-”
“No, let me. Let me finish, okay?”
She pulled her hands away then breathed in and out of her mouth a few times, trying to calm herself.
“What you’re saying, the thing about me not wanting you. It’s actually the complete opposite. You got it all wrong.”
“What do you mean?” Mina’s brows furrowed. She sat down next to Chaeyoung, suddenly all too aware of her naked skin in the exposed air of the chilly room. Her girlfriend, ashamed, wouldn’t lift her gaze from her own shoes.
“I mean that I’m not what you want, Minari.” The nickname exposed her vulnerability. Chaeyoung’s heart was raw and tender, trying to grab onto any sort of comfort it could find.
“I cannot be what you want,” she reiterated. “I’m not dumb, I can tell how strongly you’ve been coming onto me.”
“Well, I certainly am sitting naked on the bed we share.” Mina tried to joke to lighten the mood, but regretted instantly when Chaeyoung just nodded and pursed her lips.
“I wish I could answer to what you’re asking, Mina. More than anything, believe me, I wish I was able to give what you want from me.”
“And what is it you think I want?” Mina asked, caution wrapping each of her words.
“I mean, you said it already. You’re naked next to me. Aren’t you cold?”
Mina nodded, and scooted closer to Chaeyoung. The clothed girl’s shoulders tensed up visibly.
“We can’t. I’m sorry. We can’t have sex. And I don’t know if I’m getting ahead of myself, or if I’m just projecting, but if you want this, us, to keep going, it can’t either. Not for long.” Chaeyoung’s voice trembled into a low monotone, submerged in despondence.
“There’s no future with us together, Mina. We can’t go out in public, we can’t become official, we can’t build our lives together. And it’s not because it’s taboo, not just because we’re idols.”
An uncomfortable, churning feeling inside her made Mina shift her position. Everything had been going so well, so unbelievably perfect, that she had decided to overlook Chaeyoung's obvious distress for weeks. Now the end of her perfect world was in sight, all for pretending things were well. She left out a shaky sigh, trying to force her face to remain neutral and attentive.
Chaeyoung sniffled, then slammed her balled up fists on the bed. “Fuck!”
Mina reeled out of sheer reflex, startled out of her panicking trance. The room felt colder by the second, the kind of cold that couldn’t be repelled by clothes or blankets.
“If it was that only - the public, the scandals, I wouldn’t give a shit. I’d ask you to come hide together in some other country, or deep in the mountains where it’s just us. That’d be so nice, so simple.”
She finally looked at Mina, locking eyes. Chaeyoung’s big, beautiful smile adorned her face, though behind it stood the saddest expression Mina had ever seen on her. Her eyebrows were arched, her eyes leaked tears silently. This tiny, vulnerable girl wasn't pushing her away. She was begging for help. Mina's heart grew a size, though it was a sad and foreboding feeling.
“Whatever it is, Chaengie, we can make it work. I don’t mind if-”
“No, you don’t get it.” She raised her voice, cutting Mina off. “I’ve never… I’ve never been…”
She choked back a sob. Mina reached for the girl’s hand, and managed to brush her thumb on the back of it before it was pulled away with fearful apprehension. Chaeyoung inhaled deeply.
“I’ve never been who you think I am. I’m transgender, Mina. I'm not… Not…” Her voice sounded like she was out of breath. Barely above a raspy whisper. It trailed off into nothing, her sentence left unfinished.
There was a lack of reaction for one moment. Mina brought her feet up to the bed, hugging her knees. The silence in the room became deafening.
“Okay.”
Chaeyoung was too busy staring at a corner of the room, her mind empty. She didn’t register the answer at first.
“It kind of crossed my mind a few times. Just a suspicion, but I thought it’d be ridiculous to… Sorry, I don’t…” Mina sighed, bringing her legs back down and crossing her arms instead.
“I’ve always known there’s something weird going on with you, Chaeng. Not weird, sorry. Nothing weird about… Sorry, let me start over.”
Mina shook her head, confused and frustrated at herself, still trying to digest what was happening. She got up and grabbed a light white jacket from her open suitcase, next to the bed. Her hands shook, betraying cold, nerves, or maybe both. Her strides back to Chaeyoung’s side, however, were purposeful and self-assured now that she was half-dressed.
She reached out with her hand hesitantly. She grabbed her girlfriend’s narrow chin with delicate care. The skin of her face glistened with silent tears. Mina leaned over and placed a kiss on her forehead.
“Thank you for telling me. I love you.”
“But?” Chaeyoung whispered.
“But nothing,” Mina sighed, sitting down. “It’s hard to swallow, obviously. It’s definitely not what-”
Chaeyoung interrupted. “I'm sorry. That’s what I meant, that’s the problem. I mean, you obviously want…” She exhaled, trying not to break as she wiped away her tears.
“I told you already. What I want is you. Only you, whatever you’re willing to give me. Whatever you can.” Mina protested with a hint of frustration in her tone.
“This body can’t do that. Don’t you get it? Sometimes I look at you and it breaks my heart, because you’re perfect. You’re like, made for me.”
Mina’s heart stirred, touched but worried sick.
Chaeyoung sniffled, then continued. “And maybe I tricked you into thinking something similar, but it’s just a trick. I made you love me but what you love isn’t what I am. I’m not perfect like you. Not even close.”
Mina was now staring at the floor too, unsure of what to say. “I’m so sorry, Chaeng. I love you, really.”
“But you don’t get it. There’s no way someone like you would get it.”
Chaeyoung sniffled a few more times, disturbing the stillness of the silence they were in.
They couldn’t tell how much time had passed when Mina talked again.
“I… learned to dance before I learned how to have a proper conversation.”
For just the second time, Chaeyoung looked directly at Mina. She continued.
“Without dancing, without my body, I wouldn't know how to navigate the world. It's like a link, an interface of sorts. Between me and the outside.” She reached for Chaeyoung’s hand again, and this time she didn’t pull away.
“If I become unable to dance or if there's a disconnect, or a rift between me and my body, I'd feel very lonely. I felt lonely before I danced. And I feel the least lonely when I'm dancing with you guys, to this day.”
Chaeyoung’s hoarse, dry voice tumbled out of her throat. “You… you actually kind of get it… How?”
“You've taught me a lot, even if you don't notice.” Mina smiled.
She continued. “But you know what, your body as a middle point, it works both ways. You may feel trapped inside, but you could also, you know, let other people reach in. Let me.”
“It’s not that I’m trapped. I just… It’s… I look at you, you’re perfect. You’re all I want. And this body of mine, it’s…”
“Look, Chaengie. I have to go to the gym every other day, on top of all our practicing. I have weekly nutritionist consultations, laser hair removal every four months, dermatologist once a month. A perfect body doesn't exist. Our job is to get as close as possible, and you're the best at your job.”
Chaeyoung looked puzzled. Her eyes had already acquired a pink tone, though she had stopped crying.
Mina got up. “Look at this scar,” she touched the side of her lower abdomen, bare and smooth, right at Chaeyoung’s eye level.
“When I was 14 I got so stressed about liking girls that my appendix ruptured. My own dad took it out. I still think of him when I see it.”
“This discoloration on my shoulder? They always cover it up with makeup.” She shrugged off her jacket, not taking it off entirely. “I was 8 and fell off a persimmon tree while picking some for my mom. It's her favorite fruit. The scrape was horrible but it was worth it.”
Chaeyoung opened her mouth to ask what she was trying to accomplish, but Mina went on before she could speak up.
“This bruise on my shin is from earlier today, when I insisted on carrying your stuff. It's not permanent, but it's proof that I went out with you. It’s a reminder of our first date, for as long as it lasts.”
“And these?” She let the jacket fall to the floor. It hadn't registered earlier, but now it dawned on Chaeyoung all at once - the fact that Mina was showing her bare skin, her everything, presenting herself as she was. Not only that: she was deliberately pointing out her imperfections, and still she was perfect.
“These…” She slid her palms down her own waist, stopping at her hips near a few faint vertical lines on each side. “The dermatologist almost managed to erase them entirely by now, but these lines on my hips are stretch marks. I used to hate them. They showed up around the same time my ballet instructor said I was growing up wrong. I hated myself for it, but now I kinda like them. They’re proof I’ve grown.”
“You’re perfect, Mina.” Chaeyoung smiled through a second wave of tears.
“No I’m not. There's no such a thing as a perfect body, but yours, yours is perfect, because it's a part of you. It is you.”
Mina grabbed her hands again.
“Even if at face value you don't like the body you ended up with, it's yours, and it's been all this time. Your body's story is your story, Chaeyoung. I know you know this."
Chaeyoung looked at her with a face drenched in self-inflicted misery, but the budding start of a deeper, bigger and more heartfelt smile was evident on her mouth. Mina kept going, her voice remaining low despite the rising passion in it.
"Your tattoos, your gender and whatever you've done with it… It’s all you taking control of your body, you telling your own story through it. But even the parts that can’t be changed, the parts you can't control at all, they're still who you are. They're still part of your story. Let me be a part of it too."
Mina sat down again and grabbed Chaeyoung's head by the sides of her neck, caressing her softly behind the ears with her thumbs.
"I love you. I love you, Chaeng-Chaeng. You're the most important person in my life, you're what makes me happiest in the whole world. Nothing's gonna change that."
Mina brought her closer and kissed her wet cheeks, her nose, her closed eyes. They were slow, tender kisses that made Chaeyoung shudder slightly. Mina cradled her girlfriend's head against her bare chest. Chaeyoung was warm, soft, her thin arms wrapped around her waist comforted her back. Their slow breathing soothed each other as the sky outside burned with an intense orange tint that dyed the entire room through the window.
Chaeyoung closed her eyes, grateful to live. Her fight or flight faded into bliss, as leftovers of adrenaline and dopamine in her bloodstream clinged onto a new stimulus. She hugged Mina harder, painfully aware of her bare skin, the soft warmth radiating from it laced with her aroma. It was enough to kick her heart into a frenzy once more. She was scared again, scared of what was inevitably coming. But something else held her fear back.
Mina pulled her gently into the bed, laying down. A mass of dark, silky strands partially covered Chaeyoung's face, making her close her eyes and inhale the lavender-and-jasmine perfume with a deep sigh. With her eyes now closed, the first thing she felt was the weight shifting beside her, then a line of small kisses leaving a tingling trail on her jaw. She let herself sink.
Thought I'd break down the lyrics and how they relate to the characters in this chapter.
I’m not my body although you see me Making moves and walking freely You really taught me something I would not hear from anyone else
Is from Chaeyoung's perspective. She's seen as bold, brave and self-assured but she's hiding unimaginable amounts of insecurity. Mina teaches her to overcome it.
Maybe that’s just my ride To lean into the fight
Is another reference to Chaeyoung's personality. Instead of dealing with whatever issue she might be facing, she just powers through it, and endures.
Honey, you don’t have time To change your clothes again The world will love you no matter what you're wearing
Chaeyoung is confronted by Mina - the fact that she didn't change back out of her swimsuit in front of Chaeyoung and instead got naked, and the fact that Mina is seen as perfect, innocent, and angel-like while Chaeyoung is under constant scrutiny.
The world ain't gonna care The world ain't gonna care I just wanna take my time and see what it feels like outside I just wanna be like you, so sure of what to do– so high
This is from Mina's side now. She assures Chaeyoung and addresses her insecurities. It also references the reasons she admires Chaeyoung and what she wants to learn from her.
I want to be a redwood tree Feel desert sand below my feet I want to be so good to you But I never know how to move
This encapsulates them both and their wishes and struggles. Neither feels entirely free, nor strong. Both of them want to lend their strength and become a source of comfort to the other, but they've had difficulty to navigate their relationship so far.
