as soon as lacey hears his words, a small SIGH left her lips. even as she spent the entire night avoiding him, she still had yet to figure out what to say or even how to say it. so much was running through her mind she barely knew how to put it into words. typically, words were her forte ; she was able to craft a perfect sentence within a matter a minutes. but everything changed when it came to raf. quickly running her fingertips through her long blonde hair, she drops her blue eyes from his and looks down towards the ground beneath her black heels. GOSH, the combination of his suit and tan was making this a lot harder for her than she initially thought it was going to be. confrontation was always something lacey was quick to run away from, but this ?? she had to talk to him about it. she was going to BURST if she didn’t. “ i want to talk about the night before you left … ” she begins, eyes still trained on the ground. “ i — i just don’t know where we stand … i don’t know if you really MEANT all of the things you said that night or if you said it because of the stress and because of everything that happened that day … ” she takes a small break, desperately trying not to ramble. finally, she manages to lift her gaze so she was able to see him. “ so, i decided to give you space. as much as i WANTED to know what was going on while you were away, i didn’t know if you would even want to answer me. and i … i can’t go that long without talking to you. ” she admits, her head shaking in the slightest. “ i just can’t. ”
she doesn’t look him in the eye after a moment, and he’s caught off guard by how much it kills him. he spends the entirety of her long-winded ramble searching for her eyes so intently that her words slide past his ears, most of them unheard. he can gather the gist of what she’s talking about based on her facial expression, though –– and he knows it’s exactly what he’d hoped to avoid. at the lift of her gaze, he gets what he wants –– her cool blue eyes on his restore his seemingly missing ability to hear. “ what the hell made you think that i’d want space ? ” her confessed assumption frustrates him, though if he chose to be introspective, he’d admit that the tone he’d given off over their text messages wasn’t remotely inviting. “ yeah, you say that –– ” he can’t help the feeling of hurt that rears its ugly head, driving him to finish the rest of the amber liquid in his glass before he goes on, “ you say that, but you didn’t ask me if i was going to jail or not, lacey. because you were what –– afraid i’d leave you on read ? ” he shakes his head, lowering his voice a few decibels as to not make their conversation painfully public, “ it could’ve been 4 in the fucking morning, i would’ve answered you. i could’ve been in the middle of the trial, i could’ve been with some other girl, i could’ve actually been in fucking prison –– i would’ve found a way to talk to you. ” despite the hard reputation that his professional fighting career has garnered him, rafael has always been the epitome of a hopeless romantic ––– when he falls, it’s slow until it happens all at once. and with lacey, there was no slow. “ i’m tired of saying the same shit over and over again. i tell you i fucking like you, and then you're like 'oh, but my mom and dad ... oh, but don't you have better things to do than come see me? oh, i didn't know if you'd reply.' fuck that noise, lacey. you're jerking me around like i got a tattoo on my forehead that says 'please gaslight me'. ” he's never wished so hard that he could control his uncontrollable temper –– he hates the way the words are coming out of his mouth, and yet he can do nothing to ebb their flow.
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