she doesnât look him in the eye after a moment, and heâs caught off guard by how much it kills him. he spends the entirety of her long-winded ramble searching for her eyes  so intently that her words slide past his ears, most of them unheard. he can gather the gist of what sheâs talking about based on her facial expression, though ââ and he knows itâs exactly what heâd hoped to avoid. at the lift of her gaze, he gets what he wants ââ her cool blue eyes on his restore his seemingly missing ability to hear. â what the hell made you think that iâd want space ? â her confessed assumption frustrates him, though if he chose to be introspective, heâd admit that the tone heâd given off over their text messages wasnât remotely inviting. â yeah, you say that ââ â he canât help the feeling of hurt that rears its ugly head, driving him to finish the rest of the amber liquid in his glass before he goes on, â you say that, but you didnât ask me if i was going to jail or not, lacey. because you were what ââ afraid iâd leave you on read ? â he shakes his head, lowering his voice a few decibels as to not make their conversation painfully public, â it couldâve been 4 in the fucking morning, i wouldâve answered you. i couldâve been in the middle of the trial, i couldâve been with some other girl, i couldâve actually been in fucking prison ââ i wouldâve found a way to talk to you. â despite the hard reputation that his professional fighting career has garnered him, rafael has always been the epitome of a hopeless romantic âââ when he falls, itâs slow until it happens all at once. and with lacey, there was no slow. â iâm tired of saying the same shit over and over again. i tell you i fucking like you, and then youâre like âoh, but my mom and dad ⊠oh, but donât you have better things to do than come see me? oh, i didnât know if youâd reply.â fuck that noise, lacey. youâre jerking me around like i got a tattoo on my forehead that says âplease gaslight meâ.  â heâs never wished so hard that he could control his uncontrollable temper ââ he hates the way the words are coming out of his mouth, and yet he can do nothing to ebb their flow.
upon hearing his voice raise a few decibels, she couldnât help but bite down on the inside of her cheeks. it was different reading his words on a screen versus hearing them in person. she was able to THINK before she replied ( even though, that night she barely took the time to think through them at all. ) not only that, but she wasnât used to being on the other end of his temper â she had become so used to being the only person that was able to calm him down. as soon as she heard his last set of words, lacey dropped her gaze. her blue eyes began to well up and she quickly did her best to try and wipe them away before anyone else could see. the combination of hearing his words with clinking glasses and meaningless conversations in the background was slowly becoming too much and she could barely hear herself think. as soon as he finished speaking, she didnât hesitate to speak up â her chin tilted upwards so her five foot three frame was able to see him.  â you KNOW i never meant to do that to you. iâm not that type of person and if i was gaslighting you ?! then, iâm genuinely sorry for doing that. â she paused, taking a deep breath. her head shook in the slightest and she knew her emotions were starting to overcome her, but she didnât care. not anymore.  â but you know what ?! i DO like you, rafael. and honestly ? i like you so much it fucking scares me. â she was too caught up in the moment to even recognize the swear that slipped through her lips. her once soft and reticent tone gradually became louder and if she were being completely honest, she didnât care if anyone heard her. she didnât care about the sudden FLASHES and CLICKS of cameras pointed their way. â so thatâs  why i keep pushing you away. and if i learned ANYTHING from visiting my parents last week, itâs that iâm sooooo tired of doing that. â she admits, feeling a huge weight lift off of her frail shoulders.