Life Has Been A Mess
I can’t believe I’m writing here again. My last time I wrote on my tumblr blog was May 4th 2021. It’s March 2022 now. March 12 to be exact. Almost a WHOLE YEAR since I wrote here down.
There has been so many changes since the last time I was here. I’ve moved into a new apartment again, I have a gap year + a new job at the biggest department store of the entire country. I wouldn’t say life got better since back then cause it didn’t.. but I’m still trying to hold on obivously. I have no choice. Life has always been a mess for me. But since I got older even more. Why? Probably because I started to understand things more and that’s where it all went downhill. I understand situations more but that doesn’t mean I don’t have my own opinion and that’s where the mess begins.
You treat me like shit and I’ll be the bitchiest person you’ll ever met. You know when they say ‘’The best revenge is no revenge.’’ CAP. Cap for me. I DO take my revenge when needed cause that’s how I am. That how my personality is and will aways be.
I’ve been dreaming to live a peaceful life with a lovely family, both of my parents not being dickheads. It’s a dream for me and will always be. Hopefully in another life I get to live like that, but not in this life. That’s okay but there is no forgiveness for me to them. I guess this is the part when the ‘’mess’’ in my life began.
At the moment I have no wish to have childrens in my future. I first had but maybe it changes, who knows. (yes, normalize not wanting kids pls.)
But if it ever happens, if I’ll ever be pregnant, I won’t take it away. I’ll keep it and raise and treat that angel with all my love I have in my body TIL DEATH. NO CHILD EVER DESERVES BAD PARENTS. You get to live a life once and you should be so much loved in this life. That’s all that matters to me.
Now that that has being said, I feel a little relieved.
Whether life is a mess, I should still holding strong for myself. Who says I can’t get my life together for myself? I definitely can but it just all costs patience and time. I’m not in a hurry. Ofcourse I hope it will happen soon but if not, it’s okay. I’m young and have so much time.
date of writing: March 12, 2022













