Seraph Of The End

[demon-mika]

Ferid: How petty can you get?

Mika: I once edited a Wikipedia article to win an argument I was wrong about.

[demon-mika]

Shinoa: So, what, now I’m just supposed to do anything that Mika does? I mean, what if they jumped off a cliff?

Guren: If Mika were to jump off a cliff, they would’ve done their due diligence regarding the height of the cliff, the depth of the water, and the angle of entry, so yes. If you see Mika jump off a cliff, by all means, jump off a cliff.

Shinoa: You jump off a cliff!

Guren: Gladly. Provided Mika did first.

[demon-mika]

Mika: Let me show you a picture from last night that really upset me

Yuu: Okay, but in my defense, Guren bet me 50 cents I couldn’t drink all that shampoo.

Mika: That’s not what I wanted to- you drank SHAMPOO?!

[demon-mika]

Mika: I trust Yuu.

Mitsuba: You think they know what they're doing?

Mika: I wouldn't go that far.

[demon-mika]

Mitsuba: What's a word thats a mix between 'sad' and 'mad'?

Mika: Disgruntled, miserable, desolated-

Yuu: Smad.

[demon-mika]

Shinoa: What do you think Yuu will do for a distraction?

Mika: They’ll probably, like, make a noise or throw a rock. That’s what I would do.

*Building explodes and several car alarms go off*

Mika: ... or they could do that.

[demon-mika]

Shinya, driving Mika and Yuu: So how was your day?

Yuu: We almost got surprise adopted!

Shinya: What?

Mika: We almost got kidnapped.

Shinya: Oh, okay.

Shinya: *slams on the breaks* WAIT WHAT?!

[demon-mika]

The squad is trying to con some random guy

Mika: Um, Guren, why are you pretending I'm this guy's family?

Guren: We need money!

Mika: You're scamming him?

Guren: I was thinking more like flat-out stealing from him?

Mika: What?! No way!

Guren: Why not? We already stole Yuu!

Yuu: Hey guys

Mika: No, we didn't. Yuu can think and talk for themself, they can do whatever they want!

Yuu: I wanna steal

[demon-mika]

Mika: *is unpacking a box*

Mika: *puts the box down and turns around*

Yuu: *crunch*

Mika: DON’T EAT THE PACKING PEANUTS!!

[demon-mika]

Yuu: Bro do you lift?

Mika: Yeah dude how did you know?

Yuu: Because you lift my heart whenever you’re around.

Mika: Bro.

Yuu: Bro.

[demon-mika]

Crowley: I cant stand you

Ferid: Then kneel

[demon-mika]

Yuu: Here’s the thing though. Is it still a murder if I give them a heads up?

Mika: I think that’s called a threat.

[demon-mika]

Yuu: just trust me. have I ever put you in an unsafe or uncomfortable situation?

Mika: all the time

Yuu: then you should be used to it by now

[demon-mika]

Yuu: Don’t let anyone else ruin your day!

Mika: Yeah! You gotta take matters into your own hands! RUIN YOUR OWN DAY!

Yuu: NO!

[demon-mika]

[On a hike]

Yuu: It’s beautiful out here.

Mika: And quiet.

Yuu: Too quiet.

Mika: Did we lose someone?

[cut to Yoichi with a bear in a headlock]

[demon-mika]

Yuu: Can you check for monsters under the bed?

Guren: The monsters don’t live under our beds, they live inside of us.

Yuu:

Guren: Goodnight.

[demon-mika]

Yuu: I failed the safety course today.

Mika: Why? What happened?

Yuu: Well, one of the questions was “In case of a fire what steps would you take?”

Mika: And?

Yuu: Well apparently, “FUCKING LARGE ONES” isn’t an acceptable answer.