losing the feeling of feeling unique;

Abigail Van der Berg, 15 years old, ex-Amish. confused and dazed

[sabrinaupdates]

Sabrina Carpenter wearing Tommy Hilfiger during Milan Fashion Week

[isabelledeleeuwarchive-blog]

denyxngfate:

It felt like some kind of joke. Abigail had been minding her own business, for the most part. Her OCD was affecting her worse here at camp than she’d ever been affected before, and she knew exactly why; the Hermes cabin. While she was grateful for the bed, her urges and compulsions were slowly beginning to spiral. She cleaned her own bedsheets on a daily basis, ignoring the fact that they were washed weekly by the cleaning staff at camp. During spare time, she’d usually be found cleaning every square inch of the cabin, and when you added that to all the training she was doing, Abigail felt exhausted. She hated the fact that she couldn’t relax, but it was beyond her control. If you don’t clean, things get messy. If things get messy, accidents happen, people can get injured, and if germs spread you can get sick. She shudders at the idea and continues to dust the windowsills. A couple of the younger kids were running in and out of the cabin, and while it looked pointless, date she say it? She almost wished she could join them.

A soft pop rings in her ears, and as Abigail blinks out of a confusion, she suddenly finds she isn’t in the Hermes cabin any more. She’s in a garden, surrounded by roses and people. It scared her. “Wie bist du?” She demands, terrified and switching to we default language. “Who are you?” She then adds, walking towards one of the walls of roses that was on either side of them. “Where are we?”

The other girl seemed to ignore her questions completely, asking her own instead. In German first, and Isa opened her mouth to reply with the little German she still remembered from school, but the girl already repeated herself in English. She closed her mouth again, and watched the girl wander off with some annoyance, “I’m Isa. And does it seem like I have any fucking idea?” she replied. She had just as little of an idea what was happening, but so far no one had attacked her yet, so it couldn’t be too bad.

She finally started moving, following the other girl towards one of the walls. “Seems like some kind of palace. You’re Abigail or something right?” she asked. If Isa had seen something once, the could never remember it, and she was sure that she’d seen this girl around cabin 11. Another ‘unclaimed’ kid. If her memory served her right, and it usually did, she’d seen this girl clean random stuff on multiple occasions. “I don’t think there’s a way out behind those roses, that’s not logical. This doesn’t seem like a prison, otherwise there’d be more security measures.” she simply stated, already searching what could be a real exit.

[denyxngfate]

Abigail frowns, initially distrustful of the other girl when she seems to know her name. “Indeed, I am.” She turns around to look at her, and it’s then that Abigail realises she knows her. She’s another one from Cabin 11, a temporary tennant. Isa. She hadn’t been there much longer than Abigail, she thinks. “I think you are right, this place is no threat to us.” She then concludes. It’s a beautiful sight; roses upon roses upon roses. The sky is a clear, crisp blue, much like it was back home most days. She smiles, enjoying the feeling of warmth for the first time in weeks. She sighs happily, and walks back towards Isa. “Why do you think we are here?”

[isabelledeleeuwarchive-blog]

@denyxngfate

The camp experience just kept on getting worse. Isa was just out of the infirmary, but she still felt sore in places she didn’t think she could. She thought she’d feel relieved to finally be able to move around camp freely again. It still felt like a prison, but at least she wasn’t confined to a bed anymore, right? Except that she had forgotten how hectic her assigned cabin was. It was just as bad, if not worse, than she infirmary. Which meant she had to go find a quiet place elsewhere, especially with Valentine’s Day coming up.

Isa had never really cared much for the 14th of February. She simply didn’t have the time for such a trivial holiday. But last year, when she’d finally had a boyfriend, that had changed. Still, it was a useless holiday. But to be taken out on a surprise date, receiving a huge bouquet of red roses… it had been cheesy, but also perfect. And the fact that she was here, at this day, and that he was back in the Netherlands, probably taking out his new girl… she felt like she wanted the rip her hair out of her skull every time she thought about it for too long.

So to escape all the cheesy bullshit around camp, and the chaos that was cabin 11, she had just gone on a walk. She wasn’t normally a fan of hiking, unless it was for work out purposes, but seeing as her possible ballet career had gone down the drain, there were no workout purposes whatsoever, and she had to escape to somewhere in this hellscape right? Not that she got very far, the cabins where only a few metres behind her when she suddenly felt a weird tugging sensation, and the next second her surroundings had changed completely. From crappy summer camp, to what seemed to be… some kind of lavish palace. She looked around her with a perplexed expression on her face, only to realize another girl was standing right beside her. “Weet jij..” she started in Dutch, the shock of the moment making her change back to her native language automatically. “What’s happening?” she questioned, breath getting caught in her throat. Was this another… attack?

[denyxngfate]

It felt like some kind of joke. Abigail had been minding her own business, for the most part. Her OCD was affecting her worse here at camp than she’d ever been affected before, and she knew exactly why; the Hermes cabin. While she was grateful for the bed, her urges and compulsions were slowly beginning to spiral. She cleaned her own bedsheets on a daily basis, ignoring the fact that they were washed weekly by the cleaning staff at camp. During spare time, she’d usually be found cleaning every square inch of the cabin, and when you added that to all the training she was doing, Abigail felt exhausted. She hated the fact that she couldn’t relax, but it was beyond her control. If you don’t clean, things get messy. If things get messy, accidents happen, people can get injured, and if germs spread you can get sick. She shudders at the idea and continues to dust the windowsills. A couple of the younger kids were running in and out of the cabin, and while it looked pointless, date she say it? She almost wished she could join them.

A soft pop rings in her ears, and as Abigail blinks out of a confusion, she suddenly finds she isn’t in the Hermes cabin any more. She’s in a garden, surrounded by roses and people. It scared her. “Wie bist du?” She demands, terrified and switching to we default language. “Who are you?” She then adds, walking towards one of the walls of roses that was on either side of them. “Where are we?”

[denyxngfate]

bella-kemmerich:

Bella’s expression seemed to soften even more at the sight and sound of Abigail, seeing how much she needed something and the daughter of Poseidon not being able to deny her. She bared a lot of sympathy and affection for the young, learning demigod. 

“Of course,” she said. Bella got up, nodding and gesturing to the couch and seat for her to pick and sit with her. “I’d love to. What’s going on, Abby?”

She comes closer, very uneasy and nervous because she isn’t sure how Bella will react. She’d promised to help her with anything she needed, she would help her, but she just hoped she wouldn’t laugh at her first. “What is Valentine’s Day?” 

[denyxngfate]

      just because you don’t see my illness,

                                                            d o e s n ’ t   m e a n

                                                                                                    it doesn’t exist

[bella-kemmerich]

Besides the occasional visit the Big House and other duties in helping re-build the camp, Bella hardly left her cabin lately. The overwhelming guilt of having done so much damage to their home and to so many of it’s residents had left her a bit reclusive.

The daughter of Poseidon was wiping some color from her face after having come back from painting at the stables. The door of the cabin she’d accidentally left open began to creek and she looked behind her with the mirror to see who it was. “Hello,” she said, still sounding as friendly as always despite how tired she was.

[denyxngfate]

She feels as though she’s interrupting something. Abigail felt as though she’d done this a lot since arriving at camp, but it’s too late for her to go now; she’d been spotted. “Hello.” Her voice is quiet, probably even too quiet for it to be registered. “I, um. You said you would help me when I did not understand. Will you help me?” 

[denyxngfate]

moonwhxte:

“Wer hätte gedacht, dass Gott Blödsinn war?” Perhaps the first words that left Harper’s mouth since he’d been at camp that had intended to be a joke, but the moment they left he worried. For it was without a doubt that Abigail was by possibility more delicate of such matters, even if she had been at this place he’d found himself in that claimed of other religions, other gods. He wondered if she’d changed her ways. “Machst du? Bist du noch - weißt du? Göttlich?“

A soft gasp escapes her. He’s found it; the one insecurity she’s had this whole time. The constant battle tearing her apart from the inside out, and what was currently bothering her more than her diagnosis. Abigail takes a moment to collect her thoughts, her head still spinning from the fact that he was even here in the first place. She feels a pang of guilt for being unsure of how to answer his question. “Ja, natürlich. Gott ist echt, Gott ist gut.” She insists, taking a moment to think of a silent prayer of apology for doubting the God who had helped her through so much. 

[itstrentwilliams]

denyxngfate:

She thinks for a moment. “I am unaware what unclaimed means. Someone did mention that I am only in that cabin temporarily however, if that helps you. I don’t believe in any of this, because I know it is not true.” Or at least, she thought she knew. 

“Well unclaimed it is.” Trent nodded with a half smile. “So you’re telling me that this,” he lifts up his arm as electricity runs up and down them again, “Is not real?” He had a smirk on his face.

[denyxngfate]

She has to fight every instinct inside of her not to run away from him. Abigail is terrified, and the more he does it, the stranger it seems. This can’t be real. This camp, it’s ridiculous. She’s being tested, she’s sure of it, until she feels the atmosphere change. It’s almost like he’s done that. “Yes.” Her tone is unsure.

[denyxngfate]

ask meme: abigail's age

15 years old, 16 in September (on the 20th).

[denyxngfate]

15) Is your character preoccupied with money or material possession? Why or why not?

She isn’t really preoccupied with money, purely because of the fact that she’s not had much dealings with it. She grew up on a small farm run by her parents which was mostly self sufficient. The only thing they needed money for really was buying new clothes, or re-buying with a use (like a pot) something if it broke, but Abigail was never the one to go and buy it. The concept of this small piece of paper having so much weight over people is really strange to her, as she’s still getting used to this world. 

[thomas-prince-of-thorns]

“Can I help you, or you just got… lost in my cabin?”

[denyxngfate]

A small blush is on her face; du bist so doof. She thinks, her eyes glued to her feet. “I am unfamiliar with this place, I apologise.”

[denyxngfate]

On the inside, she can feel herself slowly dying. On the outside? You wouldn’t guess how affected she was with the fact that her body was covered in a mixture of mud and what could’ve been either blood or jam. Abigail’s body grins, and she approaches the common area of the camp. She approaches a table full of campers, who all look exhausted, and she stands at the side of them. “How are you enjoying the remodelling?” She inquiries smugly, daring them to challenge her. 

[denyxngfate]

moonwhxte:

Harper dared not let the tears fill his eyes as her voice sang softly beside his ear, the comfort it held wasn’t one he thought he’d hear again. The warmth of the girl he held, wasn’t one he ever dared dream of. Instead of crying, instead of fearing this thing he was ready to lose between his grip once again, he smiled. Something that sat so unnaturally on the boys face, for a smile like the boy had wasn’t designed to show joy. Something shallow and soft, a knife offered as a gift of peace.

Still, he finds himself stepping back. Ever so reluctantly releasing the girl, fearing that if he perhaps let go, she wouldn’t be there. “Wen Scheiß kümmert es, wie ich bin,” for the first time since being at camp the boy was delicate in his way of speech, “Ich bin wieder bei dir.” There’s a pause, as he simply- looks to her. Takes in the sight that is Abigail, that was all that he missed. All that he wished on. “.. Wie geht es dir hier?”

She’s still smiling, but inwardly, something is beginning to take hold of her on the inside. The fears she’s pushed down since arriving, the thoughts that normally take hold of her so easily, begin to creep back, and she can’t do anything to stop it. She’s used to hiding it though; she’d done that to her parents for many years. “Ich bin gut, aber ich bin noch nicht an das leben hier gewöhnt.” She shrugs. It had been hard. Abigail is genuinely from a whole other world compared to here, and the people say such different things. Having Harper here actually does make her feel better, though; she’s not the only one. 

[denyxngfate]

anneliesegarrett:

Nellie shrugged. “I’d like to be,” she said truthfully. “I’m studying to be one right now. With online classes, actually.” Considering the fact that she’d never finished any of her stories she wanted to write, however, she wasn’t sure if she counted as a writer. You probably had to finish something at least once to be one. Her mouth dropped a little at the second question. “I - uh, you don’t know what that is?” Nellie’s cheeks began to turn pink. “Uh, it’s when people swim without…well, without…clothes.”

She frowns. “What is an online class?” Abigail has heard people use that first word many times. Online. She sometimes feels so secluded, people discuss all of these things that she just didn’t have back home,  She puts down her notebook, shutting it, and putting the pen down next to it. “Is it not the practice for people to take their clothes off before swimming, so they may not get wet? I thought this was why people wore swimsuits.” 

[el-middleton]

El swam his way towards the other camper, noticing that she was always around the lake lately. “Hey, I’m guessing you’re new then?” He asked, a smile on his face. “I’m El, son of Poseidon.”

@denyxngfate

[denyxngfate]

She nods. “I arrived not long ago, but I am unsure whose child they say I am. What does Poseidon do?” Abigail questions, her feet dipping in the water over the edge of the dock. 

[moonwhxte]

denyxngfate:

She still found herself in a constant state of disbelief. Abigail was slowly but surely coming around to the idea of these Greek Gods, but she still couldn’t fully let her Amish ideals go. Perhaps it was being surrounded by so many people her own age who genuinely seemed happy to be here. She couldn’t remember any time in her life prior to camp where she’d seen so many people so overjoyed, besides when she had spent time with-

Was that Harper? Abigail frowns; she’d become lost in her thoughts while walking, and now, she couldn’t believe it, but it genuinely seemed to be the person whose friendship she’d cherished so much was sitting on the ground, a few feet ahead. “Harper?”

His eyes were one of those things that Harper learnt not to trust, or perhaps it wasn’t so much his eyes as it was his mind. Placing images of things he knew where something else stood. Blondes were hard to see as blondes, and not as a the small girl he knew so long ago. The small girl that he held so dear to his heart. The illusion of a memory stood before him, he blinked at with his blank stare. But the mirage, it did not falter or wave. Abigail stood before him, as clear as day. Then, his name. It came crashing in, filling his ears, threatening tears at the corners of his eyes that glassed up in an instant.

“Holy fuck,” the first words that left his lips before as his mind clocked over the realisation that it was the girl stood before him. The holy girl that he couldn’t restrain himself from lifting from the ground, and running to her. His arms reached to wrap around her, a tackle of a hug that he balanced them from falling to the ground. It had been too long, since he’d seen her. It had been too long since he wrapped his arms around another. He wasn’t going to cry, but his voice held softer than usual as he dared not release the girl. “Holy fuck-”

[denyxngfate]

The look of alarm and confusion quickly turns to one of happiness; the first big and genuine smile that she’s felt on her face since arriving at camp. Abigail often felt disconnected from her past, from her home, and it made her feel all the worse for being here, but seeing his face, it filled her with joy, all the memories of the early times when she couldn’t leave her bedroom. It really makes her think about how far she’s come, but a sense of fear and dread begins to fill her heart. You can’t do this. 

She ignores it. Abigail isn’t letting anything spoil this reunion, especially not her insecurities or her OCD. She grins, hugging him; the only person besides her own mother that she’s ever hugged. “Wie gehts es dir?” are the first words out of her mouth, and she can’t believe how good it feels to be around someone she knows. 

[itstrentwilliams]

denyxngfate:

He seems so.. ordinary. It’s confusing to Abigail, and certainly begins to tilt the scales towards everyone here being right. How is this even possible? Just when she begins to come to a conclusion, she feels as though she’s been hurled back into uncertainty. “Abigail, they have placed me in Hermes.”

“Hermes…you a Hermes kid or unclaimed?” Trent asks, picking up his coat and putting it on. “Or are you one of those who just doesn’t believe in any of this?”

[denyxngfate]

She thinks for a moment. “I am unaware what unclaimed means. Someone did mention that I am only in that cabin temporarily however, if that helps you. I don’t believe in any of this, because I know it is not true.” Or at least, she thought she knew.