Deoxys-Real

Real as fuck. Dipshits, Dorks, and Big Green Noodly Sky Bastards piss right off and die because you're all fake as hell.

[deoxys-real]

Just got kicked out of the queer jello wrestling event for using drain punch on my opponent.

[deoxys-real]

Ok, so I know I don't have muscles or bones or tendons or anything but I've been thinking of taking up yoga as a way to make friends. Is this a good idea or would the yoga community reject me?

[deoxys-real]

Be honest with yourself, this is your dream blunt rotation:

[villainessbian]

My three girlfriends.

And yes, they smoke weed.

[xzye-trelefor]

As none of them have mouths with which to smoke the weed mainly they just hangout while you smoke. Great blunt rotation.

[deoxys-real]

I keep calling emergency meetings at Game Freak to beg them to give me a new form with a mouth so I can finally try weed and Monster Energy and shit, but they keep saying no.

[deoxys-real]

Be honest with yourself, this is your dream blunt rotation:

[themainspoon]

No it isn't.

[system-of-a-froggy]

it kinda is mine

[deoxys-real]

Thank you @system-of-a-froggy, it's good to know I still have ride or die's willing to stand alongside me when these ugly ass haters try to shit all over me for no reason.

[deoxys-real]

Be honest with yourself, this is your dream blunt rotation:

[themainspoon]

No it isn't.

[deoxys-real]

WHAT THE FUCK IS YOUR FUCKING PROBLEM?!?! FUCK OFF!!!

[deoxys-real]

Be honest with yourself, this is your dream blunt rotation:

[worldworldworldworld]

"my favourite book :]", 2009

[deoxys-real]

SQUIRTLE CAME OUT IN 2009 AND NOBODY FUCKING TOLD ME?!?! WHAT THE FUUUCK!!! WHY DOES NOBODY TELL ME THIS SHIT!

[ryall]

[catbountry]

I can see why some fishermen have like, groups of six Magikarp then.

[the-haiku-bot]

I can see why some

fishermen have like, groups of

six Magikarp then.

Beep boop! I look for accidental haiku posts. Sometimes I mess up.

[deoxys-real]

I could probably take a Magikarp in a fight but I'm not sure, they sound pretty scary.

[irondive]

[virtualgirladvance]

[deoxys-real]

I also could have been immune to poison because of a moo timer but Game Freak don't listen to my suggestions ever.

[charlizetheronsbush-official]

is this anything

[flareonfloof]

looks good to me we should engrave it on something and shoots it into space 👍

[deoxys-real]

You don't need to send jack shit into space I'm already here you can just come give me shit.

[deoxys-real]

Does this go hard or do I still have more to learn

[deoxys-real]

I don't think they're ever gonna make me the star of a Pokémon movie again, because last time I insisted on doing the whole playing multiple people thing they stole for Sinners, but I was really bad at it and pissed everyone off. There was a lot of bad blood between me and the rest of the cast by the time that movie came out. That's probably why they kicked my ass out of the games as soon as Dexit became a thing too.

[deoxys-real]

The people running Game Freak, The Pokémon Company, and Nintendo are not merciful or willing to forgive, they still don't invite me to their combined end of year office Christmas parties either. They even let Porygon and Hisuian Typhlosion go after their controversies, it's incredibly personal.

[deoxys-real]

I should mention that it wasn't Michael B. Jordan who stole my whole shtick for that movie, me and Michael are actually good friends. He wanted to credit me and called my work on Pokémon: Destiny Deoxys (2004) an inspiration. It was the producers of that movie that stole my shit and fucked me over. Yeah, no wrongdoing on Michael's part, he actually fought really hard to try and give me the credit I deserve.

[deoxys-real]

I don't think they're ever gonna make me the star of a Pokémon movie again, because last time I insisted on doing the whole playing multiple people thing they stole for Sinners, but I was really bad at it and pissed everyone off. There was a lot of bad blood between me and the rest of the cast by the time that movie came out. That's probably why they kicked my ass out of the games as soon as Dexit became a thing too.

[deoxys-real]

The people running Game Freak, The Pokémon Company, and Nintendo are not merciful or willing to forgive, they still don't invite me to their combined end of year office Christmas parties either. They even let Porygon and Hisuian Typhlosion go after their controversies, it's incredibly personal.

[deoxys-real]

I don't think they're ever gonna make me the star of a Pokémon movie again, because last time I insisted on doing the whole playing multiple people thing they stole for Sinners, but I was really bad at it and pissed everyone off. There was a lot of bad blood between me and the rest of the cast by the time that movie came out. That's probably why they kicked my ass out of the games as soon as Dexit became a thing too.

[deoxys-real]

Before anyone asks: No, I am not observing Pride Month this year, because I keep sending major organisations and queer celebrity figures emails and messages about adding a "D" for "Deoxys" to the acronym so I can actually be included, but they all keep ghosting me and telling me to fuck off, and so I've decided that actually fuck all of you too. I'm not spending any time celebrating your shit if you don't actually fuck with me.

[deoxys-real]

Ok, I'm not going to talk too much about it because I'm not trying to start shit, but some queer celebrities (including Chappell Roan, Elton John, Lil Nas X, Eminem, Elen DeGeneres, and others) lowkey said some really hurtful and insensitive stuff to me when I asked them about this.

[deoxys-real]

RuPaul asked if I could use my powers to find oil and when I told him I couldn't he told me to kill myself

[deoxys-real]

Before anyone asks: No, I am not observing Pride Month this year, because I keep sending major organisations and queer celebrity figures emails and messages about adding a "D" for "Deoxys" to the acronym so I can actually be included, but they all keep ghosting me and telling me to fuck off, and so I've decided that actually fuck all of you too. I'm not spending any time celebrating your shit if you don't actually fuck with me.

[deoxys-real]

Ok, I'm not going to talk too much about it because I'm not trying to start shit, but some queer celebrities (including Chappell Roan, Elton John, Lil Nas X, Eminem, Elen DeGeneres, and others) lowkey said some really hurtful and insensitive stuff to me when I asked them about this.

[deoxys-real]

Before anyone asks: No, I am not observing Pride Month this year, because I keep sending major organisations and queer celebrity figures emails and messages about adding a "D" for "Deoxys" to the acronym so I can actually be included, but they all keep ghosting me and telling me to fuck off, and so I've decided that actually fuck all of you too. I'm not spending any time celebrating your shit if you don't actually fuck with me.