“She couldn’t get high enough to forget,
The reasons why she’s consumed with regret”
- Sean Solomon (Shooting Star 💫)
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@deprsdshit
“She couldn’t get high enough to forget,
The reasons why she’s consumed with regret”
- Sean Solomon (Shooting Star 💫)
Happy new year
Good riddance 2025…
I hate most of what I went through but I also learned a lot…
I was “too much” for some people so I decided to be less
Hopefully 2026 is a better year… Things HAVE to get better. I’m so tired of constantly being in survival mode…
I don’t wanna be “too much” anymore…
Sometimes I think…
What if I just stop taking my meds and let the sky have me…
The meds keep me alive and healthy… If I stop taking them the seizures come back…
I only have them at night… it wouldnt be so bad if I just let my brain permanently shut off in my sleep…
This world has exhausted me and I really dont want to be alive anymore…
I dont even care who I hurt with my absence anymore…
Im not strong enough to keep going so Ive been considering it…
If I leave this Earth, I wouldnt send goodbye paragraphs to anyone… thatd just be a warning of what’s to come…
But I hope they understand I tried my hardest… I hope they know they kept me here longer… I hope they know I love them but I cant keep going…
I hope when they look up at the sky they know… Im up there making it look beautiful for them
I wish you could see yourself through my eyes…
When am I gonna be the lucky one… 🥀
“There as I soared
I vowed to be nеvermore
Too trusting and loving, depending, and kind.
Behind every kiss is a jaw that could bite,
And maybe that's why I feel safe with bad guys.
Because when they hurt me
I won't be surprised”
~ Nauseous 🥀 (Conan Gray)
“If all of the stars align in the sky
Then I would be yours and you would be mine
But not in this life, it's not the right time
It's not you and I
If all of the pieces fell into place
We'd make it all work through time and through space
We know it's too late, know we can't wait
It's better this way”
~ Hayd (If All Of The Stars✨)
Please just let things work out for me…
I deserve it! 🌹
Im so tired… Please 🥀
I wish I could eat without feeling guilty…
Im hungry
But…
As soon as it’s near me,
I feel unwell
FUCK
I’ve been at war with my thoughts all my life…
Peace is unfamiliar… kinda scary…
But
I deserve peace
I deserve to have the love i show reciprocated
I deserve happiness
I deserve all the best things in life and MORE…
I just have to believe it…
I am special…
I just have to believe it…
I am beautiful…
Im starting to believe it…
I just wish things were easier.
I am spiritual…
So universe… if youre listening…
Im putting positivity out there from now on…
Im attracting nothing but amazing things for myself…
After everything… the strength ive shown in pulling through…
I deserve it. I know i deserve it…
I have been my own obstacle to overcome for so long… it’s time i simply live.
I wish i could control everything…
But
I need to just let things happen…
I need to just let them do what they want…
I deserve and manifest nothing but good things for me and everyone i love 💕
Im finally starting to believe it… at least a little bit
I deserve good things…
No you dont
YES I DO
No you dont
I deserve love
Success…
And good health
No…
Yes…
I wish I was special enough for you 🥀
It will.
Sometime. It will. 💜🖤
I know it’s such a minimal thing…
There’s more important stuff to think about, I know.
But in the back of my mind… I can’t help but think about how I’ve never been the only one.
There’s always been someone else…
They called me their love but I wasn’t the one they preferred… I was nowhere near being their person…
I’m so tired of being a place holder, it makes me wonder what’s wrong with me…
Am I the problem?