Against The Sun (1)
“I’m dying, (Y/N). And I want to spend time with my old friends before I finally kick the bucket. I have a few months left, but that’s it. I’m dying.”
I can barely comprehend this. The words filtering into my ears are foreign. The beat of my heart and the soft static coming through the other end of the line are sounds I’ve never heard before. The clammy feeling my skin takes on as I process everything is a feeling that’s new to me. None of this is fake, like I was hoping. It was all real. Too real.
“(Y/N)?” It’s Brett who is at my side as I slump to my knees. James comes rushing over, grabbing my face and making me look at him. I can’t see him, though, not really. He’s a blurry shadow and I can only see the hopeless, empty abyss I’ve just fallen into.
“Hello?” Brett’s voice is full of alarm as he takes my phone from my pale, trembling hands. His face falls and he hands the phone to James, knowing he is much better suited for the situation than anyone here.
“Seamus? What the hell did you tell (Y/N)?!” James’ voice is full of rage, but I can barely hear him at this point. I can only hear Seamus’ words playing over and over again in my ears.
“I’m dying.”
James’ hand in mine tightens. It brings me back to reality, watching as his face drains of all color.
“You’re serious, man?” He whispers, eyes glassy like I’m sure mine had been a moment ago. “Of course we’ll be there. In a few days, tops.”
I turn to Brett, noticing the look of pure sorrow on his face. I don’t know if Seamus told him what happened, or if he can just pick up on mine and my boyfriend’s emotions. I’m sure I’m radiating pure depression like body heat. It’s the only emotion I can feel at the moment.
I don’t listen to James make arrangements for us to go back to Colorado. I don’t want to. It makes everything worse, because it proves that this is not some awful nightmare that I’m going to wake up from. This is real, and I’m going to have to face reality sooner or later.
I stand on shaky legs, fumbling on feet like stone as I reach for the desk table I usually sit at. My trembling hands fall onto the wood and I can feel the smooth surface underneath my fingertips. It’s almost comforting. This massive chunk of wood is solid; it is useful and one of the only things no one has ruined in this warehouse.
“(Y/N)? Babe?” James’ voice is raw, and I know he’s got tears in his eyes. I don’t need to look at him to see how upset he is. Seamus was one of his best friends, too. In fact, had it not been for Seamus, James and I wouldn’t have ever met.
“I’ll hold down the fort here. You guys go.” Brett says. One of his massive hands is rested against my shoulder, helping to keep me grounded. I appreciate Brett so much. He’s like a big brother to me.
“I’ll call Aleks on the way home. C’mon, baby, we should get going.” James grabs my hand softly, removing it from the brown surface holding me upright. I turn to him, eyes scanning his face. I need something to hold onto; something, anything, to keep me from falling apart right now.
I slowly follow James, my movements robotic. I get into the car, but I don’t even bother buckling my seat belt. I almost wished we would get into a car wreck and that I’d go flying through the brittle glass, skidding across the dark pavement and ripping my skin from my bones. I wanted to die, because death would be so much easier than dealing with the pain of knowing my old best friend was dying.
I grip my phone in my hands, my mind racing as I think of who to call. Is there anyone that I need to get a hold of? Seamus would surely have gotten in touch with all of the old Creatures. Yet, something in me begs me to call Sly, remembering how close he and Seamus had once been, and just how good Sly was at comforting people.
My fingers shake as I pull up his contact. It seemed like forever since I called him. It seems like forever since I’ve talked to anyone but James and Aleks, and the rest of the people I work with. I hadn’t talked to anyone from the Creatures since we split, except for Dan and Dex, on occasion.
The phone rings and almost immediately, someone answers.
“(Y/N)? You heard the news?” He’s immediate at the conversation. He must have known this was why I was calling.
It takes me a minute to respond. “Y-Yeah.” I cough to clear my throat.
“I’m coming up there soon. I’ll be there in a few days. You?”
“Yeah, soon.” I whisper, wishing I didn’t have to go at all. I didn’t want to go back to Colorado. I didn’t want to face the sad music I was going to be greeted with. I had to, though. Seamus needed me, and so did the other people I used to call family.
“I’m so sorry...” Sly whispers on the other end. I feel tears swarm in my eyes. It doesn’t even feel real at this point. My mind knows I should be sad; so does my body. Yet, the gravity of the situation is coming in small doses.
“Me too... But we need to be strong, don’t we? For him?” My voice is hoarse. How long has it been since I’ve talked last? Minutes? Hours? Time escaped me.
“Fuck that noise...” Eddie says harshly, and I flinch slightly. I can see James glance over at me, worry etched across his face.
“I’ll see you soon..” I whisper, feeling completely drained and exhausted. Sly says his goodbye and hangs up. I drop my phone into my lap.
“I told Aleks.” James says, pulling into the driveway of our shared house. I had no idea that he did that. How long was I in my own mind?
Without a word, I escape the car and head into our home. Ein greets me, but she immediately can sense my pain and whimpers. I fall onto my bed, gripping the sheets with my fingers. Ein jumps on the bed, snuggling against my side. James soon climbs in, too, and wraps an arm around me.
I scream and cry until I can no longer emit a sound from my raw throat. Why the hell does this have to happen to me? Why couldn’t I go on living my happy life, with my boyfriend and dog, working at my dream job and laughing my ass off as a living? Why did my past have to come back and haunt me? Why did Seamus have to get so fucking sick?
Just why?
