𝐋𝐀𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐎.

i never thought that the dead would have the same passion as in past days, and that they could transmit it to us with kisses of blazing fire and multi-colored ice. — ( © )

[desditosa]

hello, moon here! i’ve moved blogs, you can now find me over at @moonissilly ♥

[aesrot]

shout out to people who's family isnt entirely bad or entirely good, but something in between and you dont know how to feel about them. you feel angry but you also feel guilty, because you know they genuinely love and care about you, but sometimes they show it in a way you know its not okay. your feelings are valid, your anger and sadness and grief are valid, and you dont have to prove this to no one. bigger shout out to those with memory issues who know something isnt right but can't recall all of the bad events, only the feelings, which only increases the guilt.

[animations-daily]

[transxual]

transxuals survival guide—part a

sex vs gender.

oftentimes when filling out applications or writing statistic sheets, i see people putting cismale or cisfemale for their characters gender. here’s something to consider the next time you get the chance to fill out a character sheet.

sex and gender are not the same!

sex is typically categorized as female or male, but there is variation in the biological attributes that comprise sex and how those attributes are expressed.

gender generally refers to the socially constructed roles, behaviours, expressions and identities of women, men, and nonbinary individuals. 

the term cis is most often applied to cisgender identities, so saying cis female is a bit of a misnomer. cis (on this side) and trans (across from or beyond) are typically prefixes for gender, not natal sex. 

if you changed the prefix for cis female you would get trans female. that would be a trans man. trans (across from or beyond) female. it would be disrespectful to call a trans man (who has not previously indicated they are okay with it) a trans female. 

as with all things related to identity, there is some slack. some trans people prefer to be called transexual (especially when medically transitioning), some nonbinary people prefer to be called trans feminine or trans masculine, as woman nor man don’t apply to their identity. 

ultimately, a good format for binary people is to use is x woman or x man, filling the x spot with either cis or trans, and leaving a space between their identity. 

why you should care.

understanding gender as distinct from sex acknowledges that one’s internal sense of self may not align with their biological characteristics, which helps facilitate trans people in asserting their true gender identity, which may be different from their assigned sex.

using trans inclusive language helps to destigmatize the trans community. it fosters a broader understanding that gender identity is not solely determined by biological characteristics. the separation of sex and gender allows for a more nuanced understanding of human experiences and identities.

[transxual]

after some rumination i can understand where my error was when writing this. i will explain my full thought process on why i wrote this post as i did and (hopefully) correct it.

my thought process was—GENDER (man) female (SEX), as i was attempting to bisect gender from sex in a way that made the most sense (to me), and the way i did it made sense to me by highlighting that sex makes little difference in the grand scheme of things, because gender is the more important lens in which to focus your muses’ identity through if you don’t have the requisite experience to get writing transsexual people correctly.

here’s where i went wrong: (hint: i was too reliant on my own individual experiences to be impartial)

in my experience i reached a point where i had to confront the reality of the situation i’m in and my contentless with it. there’s a specific breed of hopelessness that comes with being biologically incongruent with how you know you’re supposed to be, a sort of i know what i am, i know where i should be, but i have to be realistic on what medicine can do for me.

if i could simply say i was male and be done with it, don’t you think i would? personally i wouldn’t be comfortable referring to myself as male because male is where i want to be and not where i am currently in spite of being in transition and perceived as a man. this is my personal experience.

however, i should’ve shelved my own experiences as a personal cross to bear because there is a degree of nuance required to take them at face value, and there wasn’t enough text provided by myself to balance out that bias.

when it comes to trans people and muses, it is important to use the correct terminology to respect and validate individuals’ identities. calling a trans man a “trans female” would be incorrect and disrespectful because it misidentifies the individual. 

always use the appropriate terms based on a person’s identity.

i think if you are cisgender and writing a trans character, you likely do not have the lived experience to delve into the nuance of sexual identity in a way that is authentic to the diverse experiences of trans people, which is why i would encourage you to highlight the gender aspect of your muse rather than grappling with dysphoria, sex and biological essentialism. personally i recommend you use trans man or trans woman.

anyway. my word is not oath, just an opinion. i encourage other trans people to advocate and share their own thoughts so that one post does not become a monolith on a topic that affects a large community and intersects with a huge variety of experiences. 

tl;dr to the point that i failed to make in the initial post: do not refer to trans people by their natal sex, but if you’re going to assign a sex to your trans character, always assign one that is closest to their gender identity. 

[rpclowns]

watched an entire group get demolished for "transphobia" because a character said lesbians don't like dick.

the wonderful aftermath of adding 47373838 letters to the lgbt group because everyone needs to feel special and unique and wonderful and beautiful and biological men feel entitled to women in every space even if those women only desire other biological women 🫠 my heart goes out to all lesbians right now, for real

[takeshelters-deactivated2023072]

trans women are women ! lesbianism has and always will be inclusive of trans women ! to say that lesbians don't like dick is a gross misrepresentation and generalization but of course i wouldn't expect an internet edgelord calling people "socially autistic" to have the critical thinking skills to understand that. i hope you die 💖💖💖

[rpclowns]

of course someone with zero socialization skills would think i’m sending this content to myself lmao. news flash, not everyone thinks and believes the same as you. the level of mental illness you’d have to have to genuinely believe lesbians “like dick” is just….wow, good luck to you. the “most tolerant and accepting group” is back at it again with the death threats 🥰 get well soon, lesbians don’t want your crusty, dusty dick lmao

[transxual]

hi. i recognise you’re a troll account so this will do little to deter you, but first and foremost, it is crucial to recognize that gender identity is deeply personal and profoundly affects an individual's sense of self. transgender women are women, regardless of the sex they were assigned at birth. their gender identity aligns with their innermost sense of being, and denying their womanhood undermines their experiences, struggles, and achievements.

lesbianism, like any sexual orientation, is based on emotional, romantic, and/or sexual attraction to others. it is not solely defined by specific body parts or genitalia. attraction and love are complex, multi-faceted aspects of human relationships that go beyond physical characteristics. just as a cisgender woman can be a lesbian, so too can a transgender woman. their identity and attraction should be respected.

it is worth noting that countless lesbian individuals and organisations have voiced support for transgender women, recognizing their experiences and contributions. you dismissing their identity neither detracts nor adds to the validity of the lived experiences of trans people.

tl;dr, you are either woefully uninformed on this topic.

[desditosa]

‧ I’VE GIVEN MY HEART TO YOU, YOU KNOW ITS WAYS ‧

I'll surrender first tonight. You'll have me rise, you'll have me fall. I'll follow you blindly in defeat.                                                         — apollo & daphne —

                                                           ( @chaoticswan​ )

[worldofmuses]

“He wasn’t mine and I wasn’t his but he was so good at making me feel like we belonged to each other.”

— Sue Zhao (via blossomfully)

[desditosa]

"I can't love you" deathless

angst sentence starters.

“I can’t love you.”

In other circumstances, Thanatos’ reaction would have been much more dramatic — like when he was younger, when he had more chances of becoming more than friends with his King. But at this point, after so many years, and after being there for the god’s wedding, all he does after hearing those words is to stay still... Digesting, letting them sink into his skull, trying to control himself and the sadness that starts to spread within his chest.

So he stares deeply inside Hades’ eyes, but there’s emptiness in his own, as if Death himself had died right there in front of the god of the dead. He breathes, but he doesn’t look like: the amount of oxygen entering his body is so little, so minimal, that eventually he finds the need to take a deep breath to make up for the insufficiency of air in his lungs. And with that deep breath, come the tears to his eyes.

After so many nightmares hearing those words and worse than those words, he really did think that he had built an emotional shield that has prepared him for that moment. For that very moment. But he’s wrong, Thanatos is so wrong... He could never be prepared for that, no shield would ever be enough to protect him from that pain.

With that deep breath, Thanatos’ eyes finally divert from his Lord’s eyes, looking up to the ceiling in an attempt to keep the tears from running down his cheeks, a failure. They run hot down his cheeks, as if his skin had frozen from all the sadness and hopelessness that has spread through his veins, all over his body. His feathers quiver, and he knows that Aidoneus has known him long enough to know it’s not a good sign.

“You don’t have to tell me that,” the angel says, frowning and closing his eyes to let the tears pour, his wings now drooping on the floor with hurt. “That’s nothing new to me, and you really don’t have to say it to me.”

“Than, I—”

“No,” Death interrupts, still avoiding Hades’ eyes. “This is humiliating, and so unnecessary. Why do you think that’s something you should tell someone? Someone that already knows you belong to another. Someone that loves you, even though he knows you’ll never be his.”

The silence that follows Thanatos’ words is accompanied by discomfort, awkwardness, and all the angel wants to do is leave, fly away to the surface as if that’s a place that brings him any type of comfort. But it’s not. He just really wants to leave.

“Don’t ever do that again, sir. Ever.”

It is difficult to fly after that, wings still weak and affected by feelings, but he flies away anyways, searching for a quiet place to cry and let the sorrow pour from his eyes.

@otherworldqueen — hades & thanatos.

[desditosa]

‘ little things. you let little things get to you. ’ -- hera & apollo

emotional starters.

Her mere voice is enough to make the ichor in his veins boil, her words are like poison in his system and Apollo can’t help but feel attacked whenever she speaks to him. No matter what she says, he’s always ready to answer back with stones in his hands, even if her crown and status act like a shield to protect her from any insult he has to throw at her. Sometimes, those stones will bounce back at him, but the sun god is used to her own insults.

“Little things,” Hera speaks, looking at him with disdain, and as usual, Apollo is filled with anger. “You let little things get to you.”

He arches an eyebrow, lowering his head just a little as he looks at her, there’s disbelief in his eyes whose sparkles have turned red and orange. She speaks to him, tells him things, as if he didn’t know himself. As if he didn’t know he lets little things get to his head and mold who he is and what he does.

Is that a flaw? Maybe it’s something he’s learned with mortals after so many years he’s spent with them, either as a lover or as a servant. Whatever it is, it’s nothing compared to her own flaws — that have caused much more disgrace than his temper, like her jealousy.

“Of course I let little things get to me,” he responds with a firm tone of voice, his facial expression doesn’t change. “I may be immortal, but I am not made of steel, Hera. I still feel things, and you might not know what that’s like, but I do have emotions. I hurt, I get angry, I get sad; and yes, I do let those little things get to me.” 

He takes a few steps closer, and crosses his arms once he’s standing right before her. “I am not untouchable like you and Zeus. And it doesn’t make me any less strong than you or him. You should stop worrying about my temper, and maybe pay more attention to your own children instead? I don’t know, I think Hephaestus might be in need of your advises. Isn’t his marriage crumbling like yours?”

@unbcwitched — hera & apollo.

[desditosa]

“ so … do I get a goodnight kiss? “ - hecate and than ( huehuehuehue )

misc sentences.

There isn’t much time to waste when Thanatos finally returns to the Underworld after days of intense work on the surface, so he doesn’t have much time to spend with his friends or with Hades. When it’s time to fly back to the mortal world, all he can do is dress up nicely and exercise his wings for a minute before taking flight again. Doesn’t matter if it’s day or night, work can’t be postponed.

He’s used to preparing himself to leave alone, but this time, a dear friend keeps him company in his tiny little home behind the beautiful gardens that belong to their Queen. Hecate’s delicate hands fold the smooth fabric of his collar, sharp and elegant, the black tinted shirt looks beautiful in contrast with his skin and the grey of his feathers. He looks at her the entire time, attentive to every little detail of her beautiful features.

“You look sad,” he says, staring deep into her eyes.

“I am,” the goddess is quick to respond, with a small smile on her lips. “I wish you didn’t have to go already, you just arrived.”

Thanatos smiles, and brings one of his hands up, brushing his fingers through the soft strands and tucking them behind her ear. Things like that, the words she said, they bring a warm and tight feeling inside his chest.

“I’ll return soon, I promise.” Her hands move from his shirt to rest on his chest. “Depending how work goes on the surface, I could be back by the morning.”

Hecate smiles again, a bit wider but there’s still sadness in the way she looks at him, and in the way she slides her hands up to his shoulders in an attempt to initiate a hug. Thanatos, of course, puts his hands on her waist to express that her affections are requited.

“Alright,” she nods and takes a deep breath, looking up at the angel with playfulness in her eyes. “So, before you leave… do I get a goodnight kiss?”

Death chuckles, smiling brightly and rolling his eyes playfully just to tease her. 

“You do,” he whispers, and then leans in closer to her, close enough to press a sweet and delicate kiss against her lips. And despite its softness, it lingers for a few more seconds, before Thanatos pulls away and gives the goddess a tight hug, taking in the scent of her perfume — he has always loved it.

“See you later, Than.”

“Stay safe, my dearest.”

@chaoticswan — hecate & thanatos.

[fullyunfurled]

and it seems all a lie, what they’ve told me so far

[desditosa]

“  do you wanna get out of here?  ” young thades

misc sentences.

The music is overwhelming, the lights are overwhelming, the food and the drinks are overwhelming. Everything feels and tastes like too much for him, for a man that is so used to the ashy taste of grey and black from the Underworld. But that doesn’t mean he dislikes the taste of his dark realm, it’s the opposite: it tastes like home, it definitely tastes like home. So being in Olympus, where everything is so bright and full of life, Death can’t help but feel a little out of place.

Thanatos isn’t even sure why he agreed on coming along with his King, not when he notices the god’s own uncomfortable mannerism when he approaches with a glass of ambrosia in his hands. The air in the balcony is fresher, colder, not so filled with the warm of other bodies and other voices, and the angel believes that’s much more appealing to Aidoneus as much as it is for himself.

His smile is sweet and genuine when their eyes meet, and there is a strange feeling that spreads inside Thanatos’ rib cage when he looks at the god, a feeling that equals to what he feels when he’s... home. He really hopes Hades didn’t notice the brief movement of his wings, the black and shiny feathers glistening when they flutter under the moonlight.

“Do you wanna get out of here,” the god asks, with a playful smile on his lips before he hides it behind the glass, taking one last sip of the drink. 

Thanatos smiles back at him, a bit wider than before when he saw Aidoneus approaching, because the idea of going back to the Underworld with his King brings him the feelings of happiness and relief.

“That’s all I want right now, my Lord.”

@otherworldqueen — hades & thanatos.

[greelin]

*feels nothing* mmm, don’t like that *feels something but like, too much* mmm not a fan of that either

[desditosa]

“have a drink with me.” + “i don’t like to talk about it, but i wanted you to know.” — hera + than.

misc sentences. 

If Thanatos could avoid Olympus, he would at all costs. The discomfort of being there, with all the important gods and goddesses, he really wishes he could never go through that again. Ever. When Zeus calls him, the angel of Death sneaks through the rooms in the best ways to avoid bumping into other people, and the Queen is one of them.

She is one of the many subjects of his jealousy, the image of her brings him memories of the way his King looks at her, and it makes his chest burn with anger and a resentment over something the two gods have never done, but definitely have the desire to do. Or so Thanatos believes.

And for that reason, to avoid feeling that ugly sentiment whenever he lays his eyes on Hera, Death does his best to leave the palace unnoticed after his conversation with Zeus. But of course, how could someone miss the sight of his grey wings when he walks through the beautiful corridors decorated with pictures of the royal family? It’s like the painting’s eyes are an extension of Hera’s.

“Thanatos,” he hears her voice behind him, echoing beautifully despite the loudness of its tone. “Have a drink with me.”

He turns around to look at her, and the red smile on her lips bring a smile to his own lips, and he nods his head before he takes steps towards the Queen. Her smile widens as she leads him to a room in the palace, and being alone with her like that makes the feathers on Thanatos’ wings flutter, almost as if they have their own conscience and they’re trying to tell him that he’s in danger.

“I don’t really drink, my Lady.”

“Make an exception for me? We rarely ever spend time together, Than.” His eyebrow twitches just slightly, he doesn’t like how that name sounds coming from her. “Just one glass, I promise I won’t take too long.”

The angel nods once again, and with that affirmation she pours him a glass of whatever drink she chose for them. He holds the glass in his hands and stares at it for a moment, relieved when he notices it’s not the usual golden drink Hades always offers to him when they’re together. It’s easy to lose himself when he drinks that one.

“How may I help you today, your Majesty?” His voice is soft and gentle, despite the frown that forms on his forehead after he takes a sip of the drink — alcohol has never been something he enjoyed drinking, no matter how many times his King tells him he’s gonna get used to it someday.

Hera’s expression subtly turns into something more serious after his question, and she sits across of him when she herself decides to speak again.

“Well, Than,” she holds her glass tightly in her hands, and the tip of her nails make a tinkling sound against the cold surface. Thanatos can’t help but to look at them. “I’m afraid you don’t have the best of the impressions of me, because of my friendship with Hades.”

His eyes, then, divert to hers again, and he raises a questioning eyebrow at her statement. She isn’t quite wrong, but he knows he’s always been discreet about his feelings towards her and towards his King.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, my Lady. I don’t see why I would have bad impressions of you, even more regarding your friendship with Lord Hades.” Death states, the tone of his voice is firm and still calm.

“I don’t like to talk about it, but I wanted you to know.” The look in her eyes confuse him when she says those words, but Thanatos remains silent and patient, waiting for what’s going to come next. 

“Whatever happened between Hades and I when we were young, it is in the past. What’s left of that is the friendship we built all these years, but it doesn’t go beyond that. Friendship.” She nods her head after saying that last word, and the deep breath she takes contrasts with Thanatos’ lack of breathing.

He simply stays quiet, and it only makes the situation more awkward for both of them.

“What I mean is,” Hera starts again, but is interrupted by him when he stands up and sets his glass on the coffee table between them.

“I understand what you mean, and there’s nothing you should be worried about.” Thanatos finally takes a deep breath. “I know you value your marriage, my Lady, and so does Lord Hades. I really have to go now, thank you for the drink.”

And after bowing his head in respect for the Queen standing right before him, Thanatos turns around and makes his way towards the same corridor where he met Hera, but he walks faster, eager to leave that place and go back home.

Despite her attempts, his chest is still filled with anger and that green fire that makes it so difficult to look at her without hating her. He wishes he could control it, but he can’t.

@unbcwitched — hera & thanatos.

[parismemes]

ANGST SENTENCE STARTERS.

“please don’t go.” “you have to hold on, okay?” “he/she/they broke up with me.” “i’ll never be the same if you leave me now.” “why would you do this?” “i’m done playing your stupid games! i’m through with you!” “i just keep thinking about it.. and it hurts, so much.” “pain like that doesn’t make you stronger. it just makes you different, and not in a good way.” “i never cared about you. not even for a second.” “i killed someone today. i’ll never be able to erase that image from my mind.” “i never thought being alone could be this bad.” “you’re such a fucking joke.” “did you honestly think anyone was going to buy that kind of pathetic excuse?” “get out. i never want to see you again.” “i’ve lost so many people. i can’t lose you too.” “your name is going to be poisoned for me forever.” “i feel like no matter what i do, nobody likes me any more than they used to.” “everything is changing, and i’m being left behind.” “one day, i’m gonna give you hell for what you did to me.” “you didn’t have to go that far!” “i don’t know how to cut myself some slack.” “am i just not good enough for you?” “so you thought lying about it was the best solution? really?” “i can’t handle this anymore. i don’t know what to do.” “do you ever wonder if this is all you’ll ever amount to?” “i can’t shake the feeling that something bad is happening.” “i thought we would have more time together than this.” “it should have been you. you should have been the one that died, not him/her/them.” “i know i shouldn’t, but i miss you.” “i hope you end up alone for the rest of your miserable life!” “don’t touch me.” “i just need my space from you.” “everyone always lies. that’s just how people are.” “i can’t love you.”

[desditosa]

“... why does this card say ‘ happy third birthday ‘ ? “ — hera + apollo. (iM SORRY THIS SENT ME-)

misc sentences.

There’s a payful grin on his lips when he walks into the palace, with a beautifully decorated envelope in his hand. His eyes wander all over the place, searching for a familiar face that he would usually avoid on normal days — but today is different, it’s a special day, and Apollo wants to make sure to make it memorable.

Hera is a busy woman, always walking around the palace and checking fi everything is in perfect state, knowing how messy her own children can be, but also trying to find anything that could have been caused by one of the bastards. But not Apollo, he hasn’t been a resident of that place for years, he’s done destroying her belongings for mere fun. He’s an adult, and has more important things to do.

Though, of course there are some days that he is reminded of the fun he had when he was just a young god, wrecking havoc in Hera’s palace with his younger brothers. Those memories bring a smile to his face, and he can’t help the quiet chuckle that escapes past his lips when he thinks of the message behind the card he got for his wicked dearest stepmother.

“... Why does this card say ‘happy third birthday‘?”

He has already turned his back to her when he hears her question, and makes sure to turn around on his heels to look her in the face again. The smile widens, and the sparkle in his eyes get brighter, eager with antecipation when he prepares to answer her question.

“Oh! You see, it’s been three centuries since I gave you that wrinkle on your forehead. The third one, counting from the top. When I ruined your fancy dinner with my ‘inappropriate’ music with the muses, remember? Yeah, happy third birthday!”

[shesnake]

Sen Mitsuji in Brave New World episode 5 “Firefall” (2020) dir. Aoife McArdle