Ask Desert Willow

My name is Desert Willow. My Partner Arrowspate and I live at the White River Dragon Inn, a haven for bounty hunters far and wide here in the country and a half way point for weary travelers. We don't stay there for too long though. We are always busy...

[desertwillowmod]

A whole year of mess and now progress

Hi everyone, it has been a while. I just want to say how sorry I am for the silence. Work has kicked me for miles, but not as much as the events going on in my home. I can’t say much about some of them cuz there are some court things here and there, but I can honestly say that recently that was resolved and we can breathe easier. One major thing which happened recently made me very emotional…though I tried not to show it to make someone feel bad. My cousin has struggled for a long time with issues that I will not disclose, but let’s just say she woke up after 10 years of struggle and pain. This month for the first time in ages we actually connected and help a conversation. I saw a glimpse of the little cousin I once knew though older. I was frustrated with her for the longest time I will admit, but only because I couldn’t help her and it hurt me when she refused it. There were fights, there were screams and tears…there were things I was not willing to bring up with friends, because they had their own stuff to deal with. There legal issues, crazy ex boy friends (my cousin’s), and losses over the pass few months. Money issues came up once more and I became more of the “D” word than when the whole thing last year started. I was up and down all year and it has continued to follow me this year. But when my cousin reconnected and we actually shared laughs, I choked back tears. Even with all the dung that was dealt with all year with melt downs, legal junk and money issues….to see a glimmer of hope with in my family that is somehow getting better…it made up for a lot of hardships. I also have been trying to stay sane with constant games, gardening, art and other things on the side when I am not exhausted from work. One of my flaws is that I try not to tell people too much about what is going on, because I don’t want them to worry or feel sorry for me. I would rather if they think everything is okay. I am very surface level and I hate opening up usually. I am sorry for the majority I have been silent, but I want you to all know that I am alright and I plan on seeing a psychologist after the world somewhat goes back to normal. I need to get my junk together to function better in this crazy world….thank you for reading. 

-DWM

[desertwillowmod]

Where to begin.

I will not lie it has been a while since I had a serious post. So Let me start by saying I am still alive and kicking. I just have been in a bad place for a while. 

For a while now my mental health had not been at its best. In fact it was in a pretty bad place. Got worse last year. When the new rules of Tumblr were enforced, over half of my blog was riddled with flags I couldn’t remove (despite the worst thing being bad words on it). I had decided to erase everything. 

My heart broke. Years of work wasted, which I was afraid would happen years before. While it was devastating, I saw it as a relief and I still do. I got to focus more on myself and getting better. My health had declined, my hair had been falling out and I felt like a failure all the time. Here were other people who could pump out 2-3 updates in a month and I could get barely 5-6 in the year tops. It was humiliating. I felt I was letting everyone down. I also let myself down..well it felt like it anyway. 

I have been focusing on me for a while and just do a lot of world building. I will say I am better than I was. 

Willow….has been getting worked on written wise on my deviant art. Along with other unseen characters. 

Problem was I have a complex story and my drawing ability is limited. I took on too much. So Willow is being written, but I am debating what to do with her current blog now that there is so much wrong with the site. Whether to somehow revive it later, make it just an art blog for her, VA stuff or just keep it so the spam bots never take claim to it. For now I will focus on the story in written format, but I would love to hear from those I have not heard from in almost a year. Thanks for sticking around this long, even if you didn’t have to.

[logoffprotest]

The Log Off Protest is officially OVER! 

But we’re not done yet! 

Wave 2 of the protest will pick up before the end of the year - this time with mass emails, tweets, and negative reviews of the app/website. There is no defined date yet, so make sure to follow this blog and the Twitter page ( @logoffprotest ) for updates.

Just Wave 1 on its own was a success - dropping Verizon’s stock. 

Imaging what Wave 2 would do? Or even Wave 3 - a longer protest?! 

Thank you all so much - from the bottom of my heart. Without you guys protesting, this would have not happened. Tumblr wouldn’t have heard our voices and the world wouldn’t know we do not tolerate the targetting of content creators and sex workers. 

So thank you. Really. 

Let’s continue making this community better - together. 

[desertwillowbountyhunter]

Going back to not being on here.....I WILL AVENGE MY BLOG! STARTING TODAY! 

[desertwillowbountyhunter]

Well.....her blog is cleaned...

Too many things were flagged so yeah…the story here was ruined…..

Sorry everyone…the story part of this blog…is gone…

[desertwillowbountyhunter]

That also means her messages are cleared. However....this blog won’t have anything on it for a while...

[desertwillowbountyhunter]

Well.....her blog is cleaned...

Too many things were flagged so yeah...the story here was ruined.....

Sorry everyone...the story part of this blog...is gone...

[desertwillowbountyhunter]

An Ultimatum.

Due to the unflagging of my content, I have become conflicted. If this site somehow still has me on here for some unknown reason, I want to pose an ultimatum. 

Do I proceed to erase this blog from history all together? Or Clear it to make it a regular ask blog while actual story will be on DA?

Anon answers will not count in this. I need to know from the others I can actually identify.

Why this? Simply put, I can’t write a story written comic. It was indeed consuming my life on an unhealthy level. I was not up for the deadline pressure. I want to take things at their own pace while dealing with other issues. Writing and art make me happy, but only if I do it at my own leisure....I will be reblogging this stuff because...you know...and it needs to go on the other blogs. 

Regardless of decision however, I am re-writing Willow’s story where it doesn’t revolve around Tumblr. 

So....I would like to hear from you all who actually pay attention....which should I choose?

[desertwillowbountyhunter]

Honesty time.

I regret writing this, but as things get closer, I feel I will not have any choice in the matter. 

I loved working on Willow for years and I met many of my friends because of her and other factors, but….

The comic itself took over my life. I was constantly struggling to get any comics out and I felt bitter and depressed all the time. There were even days where I would not talk to people, because I felt myself close to blowing up. With Tumblr cracking down on stupid things….I had to be away for awhile to think things through. 

While I don’t want bots taking this username away, I feel defeated with many things. I have decided to write permanently in DA and by December 16th…get rid of my Tumblr for good. Blogging was toxic and wore me down mentally. I missed so much over the years that I feel guilty just being near this site. While I met MANY of my friends on here and I know people like to check up on me….I just can’t do this anymore. 

Comics took too long, I have re-written Willow 5 times over the years, lost people, and now my content is being targeted. I have had enough. I am tired of the anxiety, I am tired of the depression, the self loathing and the constant feeling of being a failure to everyone around me. I will continue to write and things, but not here. Not in this environment that is dying. I am not moving to Twitter or any of those places. I am simply done. 

Sorry for wasting all of your time in the last 5 years. Hopefully, someday, paths will cross again. 

Deletion of this blog will take place on the 16th. And all my other blogs as well. I have  saved the stuff that matters aside from the written stuff on DesertWillowLetters. I will be doing that this week before the final deletion…..

Thank you all for your years and I hope you all go on to live happier and fuller lives. 

[desertwillowmod]

I don’t think anything could convince me to stay in social media at this point. Art is being cracked down, works will be cracked down, and I know DA might experience the same, but at least it will hurt less…..I am just grateful I have people who I am still in contact with and will even give numbers to incase Discord becomes cracked down too somehow…..

I will possibly open a discord server days before, but that is uncertain at this time. I am not sure how many want to be on that server…

[desertwillowbountyhunter]

Make no mistake. Once again, Willow and the gang are still my characters and I am keeping them Because I have DA and that is where the story will pick up without this sites influence. 

Thank you