Day 3 this one right here is more of a fear. Or it can be an insecurity anyway. I have always have a fear of loving someone or losing someone close to me. Rather it be family, friend, or a person I’m in love. I think it all started when my father died when I was 16. To understand the depth our relationship you had to be close to me or in my close circle. Even then my closet friends never knew the things I went through. As child and teenager I lived with my father.(daddy’s girl)🙋🏽 So when he was diagnosed with cancer I didn’t fully understand the journey I was about to take. To give you a short verse I took care of a grown man until I couldn’t handle it anymore than family members came in to help. To this day I’m still not fully over the death of my father. It made me guard my heart. I walk around with an hard outer shell because of my past. Within a 2 year span I lost my brother to suicide and a best friend who died in his sleep. I was so depressed and lonely. Smh I felt like I have lost the world. I got tired of losing people I love rather it be family, friends, or relationships. Relationships are another story. I have only truly loved 2 people in my life and those relationships didn’t work out.
Come to realize that all of the people I love and lost have been males. Go figure! I don’t know if it’s a sign or just the way life goes. But I had to realize that you have to tell ppl how you feel because no one is promise tomorrow. I know I have to conquer this fear and allow love to find me and make peace with my past.
titsay
vaporwave
