Are fictional characters really worth being so passionate about? That main guy wasn’t even the hot one. I couldn’t care less whether people like me or not. You can think I’m an asshole all you want - either way, you’re still thinking about me.
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Of course they are! Fictional characters are, like, blank slates that we can see ourselves in! I, for one, think that Alice Cullen was Korean because she reminds me of me. You can’t tell me you’ve never seen a fictional character and gone ‘wow, they’re just like me’? And Edward totally was the hot one! Robert Pattinson is pretty much the hottest actor ever.
Ooh, that’s exciting! Which song did you end up doing? And did you get in? I prepared Olivia Rodrigo, Harry Styles and Sondheim, but ended up singing Tonight from West Side Story.
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I did First Thing To Go, I think it went pretty well, I mean I got in. It felt really good. How about you? I know Dalton can be find high-brow with their show choir stuff.
Damn, that major sounds even easier than mine. What are you gonna do with that after college? At least with Exercise Science I can become a gym teacher and torture kids for the rest of my life.
Really? ‘Cause it seems to me like the only appeal of those books is for flickin’ the bean. I mean, I haven’t read a real book since our fifth grade teacher tried to turn us all gay by making us read The Outsiders, but I’m gonna venture a guess here and say those books don’t have too much literary merit to them beyond paragraphs describing “Edward’s sparkling pectorals.”
It really isn’t. I mean, I have to pattern draft, I have to embroider, design fabrics, sew, not to mention all the research & theory work involved. And after I graduate I want to design costumes & stuff for musicals.
And if you think reading a book is going to turn you gay, it really sounds like you’re the problem. If there were any Twilight characters I like-liked, it was Alice.
who?: tina cohen-chang
when?: friday, june 11th
about?: tina auditions for the new directions with hayley williams’ ‘first thing to go’
Tina didn’t really do any kind of singing outside the confines of her bedroom & shower. Doing high school productions & doing karaoke just wouldn’t gave worked with the Tim Burton female lead-esque persona she was trying to make work back then. But this was a new Tina. Still listening to My Chemical Romance and Fiona Apple on repeat & shopping at Hot Topic, but she had made the promise to herself to get out into the world and let herself try new things. And she knew from the second she stumbled upon the New Directions’ audition flyer that Glee club would be a pretty good fill.
Plus she had been pretty obsessed with the Pitch Perfect movies in junior high.
Saying that, she was still kinda fucking terrified about singing in front of someone. Tina was a behind-the-scenes kind of girl. She made costumes & set pieces, she didn’t perform. The closest she had gotten to singing for people was playing Sing Star with her sister when she was a kid. But she couldn’t spend all of college in the library reading fanfiction & watching life pass her by like she did in high school.
So, Tina scrolled through her spotify playlists until she found a song she felt she could perform well & represented the kind of music she wanted to bring to the table. Hayley Williams seemed to fit the bill pretty well. While Tina was definitely more of a Paramore girl, she still loved Hayley’s more low-key solo stuff so she headed into the auditorium with a karaoke track for ‘First Thing to Go’ in hand, ready to go.
Tina gave a polite smile and a small wave as she made her way up to the microphone, albeit with some hesitance. She provided a soft ‘hi’ into the mic, only to be startled a little by the loudness. Tina had never sung into a microphone before...She’d actually never spoken into a microphone before. “My name is Tina. Tina Cohen-Chang,” she introduced herself, rubbing her sweaty palms against her skirt to alleviate some of her nerves. “Uh, I’ve never sung in front of people before, but I really love music and...yeah, I’m going to be singing a song called ‘First Thing to Go...” Tina looked around herself, suddenly extremely self-conscience of everything and gave a nod to the guy running the sound before taking a deep breath, eyes closed.
Auntie Tana here with a quick PSA. Dorms have thin walls, which means I can hear you crying to Evanescence’s My Immortal like a bizarre emo ghost from 2004. You know who you are.
And to whoever’s been spending the night at the dungeon of questionable delights across the hall… I guarantee she’s faking it.
I wasn’t crying! I was trying to sing along!....At least that’s how I would respond to that claim if I was the person doing that...which I was not.
Also, gross. I at least try and block it out. But you’re not wrong, she’s being way too enthusiastic for it to be genuine.
I just signed up for Drama Club and LGBTQ+ Alliance and I’m going to audition for the Warblers this Friday. I still have to decide which song I’m going to sing, as I’ve come up with several different options, but I can’t wait! Does anyone else have any exciting auditions coming up?
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I’ve got my glee club audition coming up soon too! Not for the Warblers, obviously, for the New Directions. I was thinking of singing something from Hayley Williams’ most recent album, maybe Good Grief or First Thing To Go. But what were you thinking of doing?
Again, not harsh. Just factual. I unpacked my own boxes because I’m capable of doing it, but if someone isn’t capable, I think it’s perfectly acceptable to hire someone to do it for you. I’m not sure what you think that has to do with nepotism.
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Well, I’ll give you the benefit of the doubt because I was raised well but jury’s still out on weather you’re good natured and kinda bitchy, or just an asshole.
Oh, I don’t blame you. I kind of did the opposite, though - I ended up driving back and forth several times on the same day, instead of just taking a box with me whenever I visited my parents, because I was just too eager to get it all done within one day. Twihard, that’s the word I was looking for! It sounds like you’re a very dedicated fan, and I love that you started to develop your own style at such a young age. Now, on to the most important question: Team Edward or Team Jacob?
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I think everyone was just ready to get out of the house and into their rooms, at least over at McKinley that seemed to be the case because there was a sea of freshman hauling boxes out of their cars when I showed up. Yeah, my moms are always saying that I’ve always been an ‘individual kid’ and I didn’t really know if that was a good thing or a criticism in disguise but I’ll take it. I’m Team Edward all the way! I don’t understand why anyone would be anything but. I’m a vampire kind of gal.
What part of that was harsh? Everything I said was factual, as well as solid advice.
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Well I don’t know about you, but I barely have enough money to pay for my dorm, let alone pay someone to unpack boxes. That’s not advice, that was kind of just weird capitalist Nepotism-kid thing.
Why do you have fabric in your room? Are you starting a sweatshop in your dorm?
Y’know, you wouldn’t have to make room for all your Twilight shit if you women just watched porn like normal people. It gets the same job done in, like, 15 minutes. Some of those Twilight movies are hella long. Why do you have to sit through 2 hours of pale people making moody eyes at each other just to get your rocks off?
I’m a Fashion Design major, having fabric is kinda important for all that. But I guess it does feel like a sweatshop at times...
I’m not a fan of Twilight as a replacement for porn. And a lot more girls watch porn than you think. I like Twilight because I like the characters, the story & the lore. Nothing to do with sex. I’d be a Fifty Shades fan is that way the case, and I’m not.
Jeez, reel in the feels before you go vasovagal, Girl Chang. Their “love story” could be used as an example of media representations of unhealthy relationships in a gender studies class. So many red flags.
Awkwafina isn’t even from the same country as me, she’s Chinese. That would be like me calling you Shakira.
The Bellward love story isn’t toxic. Bella and Edward are just two teens dealing with their own mental health issues as well as dealing with a love that the world wouldn’t understand. And the main cause of any of their problems is Jacob not being able to mind his business. Plus there’s a whole part of the fandom that headcanons Bella and Edward was gay anyways.
I assume when you say you’re unpacking you mean for college? You should probably hire a personal organizer if you’re incapable of doing it yourself. Failing an assignment would be embarrassing enough, let alone failing because you lost it among outdated pre-teen media.
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Wow, okay, that was kinda harsh. And I don’t exactly have the money to hire someone to unpack boxes for me, that seems like a real waste. And Twilight isn’t outdated, there was a new book released just last year and there’s meant to be more in the works. If anything is outdated, it’s hating on Twilight in 2021.
I’m almost certain it wasn’t, but, to be fair, I have no idea what lame erotic fan-fiction you’re talking about. They sparkle, they lurk around in the woods and they love people. If Edward had wings, we’d call him Tinkerbell.
Don’t really appreciate the nickname, ya’know. My name is Tina. Tina Cohen-Chang.
Midnight Sun wasn’t fanfic, it was canon. It’s Twilight from Edward’s perspective. And if anyone is the Tinkerbell of the Twi-verse, it’s Alice because Edward actually doesn’t love humans, he just loves Bella because they’re soulmates. And she’s not even human for half of the last book.
Hearing this makes me really happy that I’m only ten minutes away from home so I can bring just one box at a time. Are you one of the original Twilight fans from the old days, or one of those Twilight Renaissance ones, as I believe they’re called? Maybe you could give them their own special shelf?
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Lucky! I’m honestly not that far away from campus myself, I’m just too unmotivated to make two trips so I tried to do it all at once. Do not recommend. I’m an OG Twihard, I saw all the movies in the cinemas on opening night and had my goth awakening at nine years old. And a shelf sounds like a good idea, I’ll have to get my butt down to an IKEA.
