"You see, but you do not observe."

[detective-woods]

Name: Conan Woods; generally known as ‘Detective Woods’ or just ‘Woods’.

Pronouns: He/Him

Age: 34 (May 22, 1991)

Status: Alive

Occupation: Battery City detective, though technically unofficial.

Location: Battery City

[bli-hannahelsabrouty]

(sounds of her heels pacing as she talks with her radio in her pocket)

--he quote 'a mask tells us more than a face' relates to theory of----an exposure of that, when applied to robotic engineering--

[detective-woods]

Ah, I presume that this is not meant to be a public speech?

[detective-woods]

It seems the lot of you are, how do I put this, going through quite the time?

[lithiumghostkilljoy]

Please be so serious rn

[detective-woods]

Is there a problem?

[lithiumghostkilljoy]

People are just clowns aren’t they?

[detective-woods]

Yes, many are. I have met many fools in my time, yet none are more troublesome than the witty ones. Are you dealing with a regular clown, or the ones with a bit of brain?

[lithiumghostkilljoy]

Well a clown who is supposed to have a brain

[detective-woods]

Those are the most common types of clown. Especially among...ah, I shouldn't say. I would prefer not to err on the side of distaste.

[lithiumghostkilljoy]

You can say killjoys. But the city has their own brand of clown too.

[detective-woods]

Your impression of me is already incorrect. I was actually thinking of the city myself. I have already spoken with one witty clown.

[lithiumghostkilljoy]

And who’s that?

[detective-woods]

I should not say. Something tells me he is not all clown. He is quite keen on threatening people.

[lithiumghostkilljoy]

Please be so serious rn

[detective-woods]

Is there a problem?

[lithiumghostkilljoy]

People are just clowns aren’t they?

[detective-woods]

Yes, many are. I have met many fools in my time, yet none are more troublesome than the witty ones. Are you dealing with a regular clown, or the ones with a bit of brain?

[lithiumghostkilljoy]

Well a clown who is supposed to have a brain

[detective-woods]

Those are the most common types of clown. Especially among...ah, I shouldn't say. I would prefer not to err on the side of distaste.

[lithiumghostkilljoy]

You can say killjoys. But the city has their own brand of clown too.

[detective-woods]

Your impression of me is already incorrect. I was actually thinking of the city myself. I have already spoken with one witty clown.

[lithiumghostkilljoy]

Please be so serious rn

[detective-woods]

Is there a problem?

[lithiumghostkilljoy]

People are just clowns aren’t they?

[detective-woods]

Yes, many are. I have met many fools in my time, yet none are more troublesome than the witty ones. Are you dealing with a regular clown, or the ones with a bit of brain?

[lithiumghostkilljoy]

Well a clown who is supposed to have a brain

[detective-woods]

Those are the most common types of clown. Especially among...ah, I shouldn't say. I would prefer not to err on the side of distaste.

[lithiumghostkilljoy]

Please be so serious rn

[detective-woods]

Is there a problem?

[lithiumghostkilljoy]

People are just clowns aren’t they?

[detective-woods]

Yes, many are. I have met many fools in my time, yet none are more troublesome than the witty ones. Are you dealing with a regular clown, or the ones with a bit of brain?

[lithiumghostkilljoy]

Please be so serious rn

[detective-woods]

Is there a problem?

[detective-woods]

Ah... to think that paperwork could take so long.

[bli-morris]

(raygun fire)

Unfortunate.

[bli-morris]

Alright. Go on.

[detective-woods]

With the story? I can start from the beginning if you are unfamiliar with it.

[bli-morris]

Sure, go with that

[detective-woods]

It is about a merchant who bragged about a shield, saying it was strong enough that no spear may pierce it. Moments later he began to brag about a spear which he said no shield could withstand it.

A bystander asked the merchant what would happen if he used the spear against the shield. The merchant could not come up with an answer. As a result, the Chinese word ‘Máodùn’ was created. ‘Máo’ meaning spear and ‘Dùn’ meaning shield.

It is interesting, is it not?

[bli-morris]

If you think it is.

[detective-woods]

You are a man of few words, hm?

[bli-morris]

And you one of many. Does it matter?

[detective-woods]

*Sigh*

I suppose not, however this conversation has hit quite the standstill. Shall we bid adieu for the time being?

[bli-morris]

bid adieu? aren't you full of surprises.

If you choose to.

[detective-woods]

Many say I am, but I do not think that was a surprise.

Ah! Au revoir. May we meet again.

[bli-morris]

(raygun fire)

Unfortunate.

[bli-morris]

Alright. Go on.

[detective-woods]

With the story? I can start from the beginning if you are unfamiliar with it.

[bli-morris]

Sure, go with that

[detective-woods]

It is about a merchant who bragged about a shield, saying it was strong enough that no spear may pierce it. Moments later he began to brag about a spear which he said no shield could withstand it.

A bystander asked the merchant what would happen if he used the spear against the shield. The merchant could not come up with an answer. As a result, the Chinese word ‘Máodùn’ was created. ‘Máo’ meaning spear and ‘Dùn’ meaning shield.

It is interesting, is it not?

[bli-morris]

If you think it is.

[detective-woods]

You are a man of few words, hm?

[bli-morris]

And you one of many. Does it matter?

[detective-woods]

*Sigh*

I suppose not, however this conversation has hit quite the standstill. Shall we bid adieu for the time being?

[bli-morris]

(raygun fire)

Unfortunate.

[bli-morris]

Alright. Go on.

[detective-woods]

With the story? I can start from the beginning if you are unfamiliar with it.

[bli-morris]

Sure, go with that

[detective-woods]

It is about a merchant who bragged about a shield, saying it was strong enough that no spear may pierce it. Moments later he began to brag about a spear which he said no shield could withstand it.

A bystander asked the merchant what would happen if he used the spear against the shield. The merchant could not come up with an answer. As a result, the Chinese word ‘Máodùn’ was created. ‘Máo’ meaning spear and ‘Dùn’ meaning shield.

It is interesting, is it not?

[bli-morris]

If you think it is.

[detective-woods]

You are a man of few words, hm?

[bli-morris]

(raygun fire)

Unfortunate.

[bli-morris]

Alright. Go on.

[detective-woods]

With the story? I can start from the beginning if you are unfamiliar with it.

[bli-morris]

Sure, go with that

[detective-woods]

It is about a merchant who bragged about a shield, saying it was strong enough that no spear may pierce it. Moments later he began to brag about a spear which he said no shield could withstand it.

A bystander asked the merchant what would happen if he used the spear against the shield. The merchant could not come up with an answer. As a result, the Chinese word ‘Máodùn’ was created. ‘Máo’ meaning spear and ‘Dùn’ meaning shield.

It is interesting, is it not?

[bli-morris]

(raygun fire)

Unfortunate.

[bli-morris]

Alright. Go on.

[detective-woods]

With the story? I can start from the beginning if you are unfamiliar with it.

[bli-morris]

(raygun fire)

Unfortunate.

[detective-woods]

For you or the other person?

[bli-morris]

The killjoy.

[detective-woods]

Ah, so you're an exterminator. Do you always have your radio on when you take a life? Is it a show of power?

[bli-morris]

You are a killjoy then. Poor choice.

[detective-woods]

That is your first mistake. I am not a killjoy. Your assumptions are most interesting, however.

[bli-morris]

Then why should I care for what you believe as interesting?

[detective-woods]

When did I say you should? I am simply stating that it is interesting. Are killjoys the only people who tend to speak back?

[bli-morris]

You ask a lot of questions for one who has not even thrown a name.

[detective-woods]

I am simply curious. My name is Conan Woods. Pray tell me yours?

[bli-morris]

Morris. Why are you on the waves Woods?

[detective-woods]

Ah. Simply looking for something outside of the humdrum routine of everyday life. How about you, my good fellow?

[bli-morris]

I am standard. What is your everyday routine?

[detective-woods]

‘Standard’ is quite the way to put it. And, for your information, I prefer not to answer such trivial questions about myself. It is unimportant.

I must admit, this conversation is a trifle more exciting than these documents I am parsing through. Surely you are a more interesting man than this? There must be something you enjoy doing after work.

[bli-morris]

I keep my private life off the public frequencies. What documents, and do you always speak like you're from the victorian era?

[detective-woods]

Yes, so do I. My documents are included in my ‘private life’.

Pray tell me what you mean.

[bli-morris]

I'm not a linguist but the overly-formal communication is not subtle.

[detective-woods]

It is just how I speak. Perhaps you are not formal enough? Though, I suppose formality is not in your job description.

[bli-morris]

Formality is unnecessary when talking to rebels over public frequencies.

[detective-woods]

As I suspected. I am not a rebel, so spare the sardonic attitude for another time, man—I'm simply here for a chat.

Your job seems a bit monotonous when said aloud. Catching mice can only be exciting for so long, can it not?

[bli-morris]

(laughs) You're hilarious.

[detective-woods]

How so?

[bli-morris]

Because all shields break eventually

[detective-woods]

Yes, even the shield that was said no spear could pierce it. The one that birthed the word ‘contradiction’. Surely you have heard of it?

[bli-morris]

Are you trying to prove your wits are the same height as your ego? However, if you simply wish to chat we can keep it civil.

[detective-woods]

I was simply referencing a story. There's no need for accusations.

I would prefer to keep this civil, if you can manage.

[bli-morris]

(raygun fire)

Unfortunate.

[detective-woods]

For you or the other person?

[bli-morris]

The killjoy.

[detective-woods]

Ah, so you're an exterminator. Do you always have your radio on when you take a life? Is it a show of power?

[bli-morris]

You are a killjoy then. Poor choice.

[detective-woods]

That is your first mistake. I am not a killjoy. Your assumptions are most interesting, however.

[bli-morris]

Then why should I care for what you believe as interesting?

[detective-woods]

When did I say you should? I am simply stating that it is interesting. Are killjoys the only people who tend to speak back?

[bli-morris]

You ask a lot of questions for one who has not even thrown a name.

[detective-woods]

I am simply curious. My name is Conan Woods. Pray tell me yours?

[bli-morris]

Morris. Why are you on the waves Woods?

[detective-woods]

Ah. Simply looking for something outside of the humdrum routine of everyday life. How about you, my good fellow?

[bli-morris]

I am standard. What is your everyday routine?

[detective-woods]

‘Standard’ is quite the way to put it. And, for your information, I prefer not to answer such trivial questions about myself. It is unimportant.

I must admit, this conversation is a trifle more exciting than these documents I am parsing through. Surely you are a more interesting man than this? There must be something you enjoy doing after work.

[bli-morris]

I keep my private life off the public frequencies. What documents, and do you always speak like you're from the victorian era?

[detective-woods]

Yes, so do I. My documents are included in my ‘private life’.

Pray tell me what you mean.

[bli-morris]

I'm not a linguist but the overly-formal communication is not subtle.

[detective-woods]

It is just how I speak. Perhaps you are not formal enough? Though, I suppose formality is not in your job description.

[bli-morris]

Formality is unnecessary when talking to rebels over public frequencies.

[detective-woods]

As I suspected. I am not a rebel, so spare the sardonic attitude for another time, man—I'm simply here for a chat.

Your job seems a bit monotonous when said aloud. Catching mice can only be exciting for so long, can it not?

[bli-morris]

(laughs) You're hilarious.

[detective-woods]

How so?

[bli-morris]

Because all shields break eventually

[detective-woods]

Yes, even the shield that was said no spear could pierce it. The one that birthed the word ‘contradiction’. Surely you have heard of it?

[bli-morris]

(raygun fire)

Unfortunate.

[detective-woods]

For you or the other person?

[bli-morris]

The killjoy.

[detective-woods]

Ah, so you're an exterminator. Do you always have your radio on when you take a life? Is it a show of power?

[bli-morris]

You are a killjoy then. Poor choice.

[detective-woods]

That is your first mistake. I am not a killjoy. Your assumptions are most interesting, however.

[bli-morris]

Then why should I care for what you believe as interesting?

[detective-woods]

When did I say you should? I am simply stating that it is interesting. Are killjoys the only people who tend to speak back?

[bli-morris]

You ask a lot of questions for one who has not even thrown a name.

[detective-woods]

I am simply curious. My name is Conan Woods. Pray tell me yours?

[bli-morris]

Morris. Why are you on the waves Woods?

[detective-woods]

Ah. Simply looking for something outside of the humdrum routine of everyday life. How about you, my good fellow?

[bli-morris]

I am standard. What is your everyday routine?

[detective-woods]

‘Standard’ is quite the way to put it. And, for your information, I prefer not to answer such trivial questions about myself. It is unimportant.

I must admit, this conversation is a trifle more exciting than these documents I am parsing through. Surely you are a more interesting man than this? There must be something you enjoy doing after work.

[bli-morris]

I keep my private life off the public frequencies. What documents, and do you always speak like you're from the victorian era?

[detective-woods]

Yes, so do I. My documents are included in my ‘private life’.

Pray tell me what you mean.

[bli-morris]

I'm not a linguist but the overly-formal communication is not subtle.

[detective-woods]

It is just how I speak. Perhaps you are not formal enough? Though, I suppose formality is not in your job description.

[bli-morris]

Formality is unnecessary when talking to rebels over public frequencies.

[detective-woods]

As I suspected. I am not a rebel, so spare the sardonic attitude for another time, man—I'm simply here for a chat.

Your job seems a bit monotonous when said aloud. Catching mice can only be exciting for so long, can it not?

[bli-morris]

(laughs) You're hilarious.

[detective-woods]

How so?