Hi guys! I realize this isn't normally the sort of thing I write. Usually, I write book advice that has to deal with writing, editing, publishing novels, and everything in between! But as I have recently been married, I thought I would release the secrets of dark magic I conjured in order to plan my wedding.
The first thing is first. Set a budget. If you ask yourself if this is really necessary, yes, it is. It is 1000% necessary. While you are setting a budget, I would also get a binder to make your wedding binder. Whether you want to or not, you are going to be purchasing a lot of things for your wedding, and it's best to keep all receipts together in case you need to return some things.
Now, as far as setting a budget goes, I just downloaded a free spreadsheet online and printed it out. If you don't want to print one out, there are a lot of websites that have online budgeting and spreadsheets. Weddingwire.com and the Knot App were especially helpful for me because they had super helpful checklists plus budgeting, registry trackers, and online RSVP. I kept budgets on everything I made. My printed budget looked something like this:
I didn't use all of the spaces, but it at least kept me on track. The goal is to set the absolute most you are willing (and have the ability to) spend on any certain thing. This was sort of a game for me. I'd set the amount, and see for how much cheaper I could get it, with quality, in reason. Mine and Josh's total wedding budget was around 11K. I think we actually ended up spending around 7K. A lot of our services were gifts from friends, and for that I'll be forever grateful. Which brings me to my next point:
2. Find Talented Friends Who Are Willing to Help
I would first and foremost like to say that just because you have a photographer friend does not mean you should go up to said photographer friend and blatantly ask them to take pictures of your wedding for free. It's cheap and demeaning to them, especially if that is their only source of income, or if they work a job with low income. Even if they have plenty of money, they are not going to be willing to take 6-10 hours out of their day plus weeks in editing to take pictures of your wedding with no compensation. The same principle applies to other services. What I am meaning is to search out friends who render services, and ask them for quotes. In my experience, 9/10 times they cut us a deal or even offered the service for free as a wedding gift. If you are part of a church family, I would definitely recommend looking there first. In the spirit of the Lord, most people are more than happy to help you for free without you even asking. My church family is where my cake, sound, and officiant services came from, and they were all more than perfect. It's also worth noting that I tipped my friends anyway, even though they didn't ask to be paid, because I really appreciated their services (even though some of them returned the tips and refused any type of payment).
The talented friend also applies to friends who have also been married before, who are good with money, or good with budgeting if you don't know where to start or how to begin.
When you are setting your guest list, it's important to remember that you don't have to (and probably shouldn't) invite everyone you have known since kindergarten or on your Facebook. The more people you have at your wedding, the more expensive it's going to be. In our case, if our guest list exceeded 100 people, our security cost would double, so I tried to keep it at a minimum, only inviting close friends and family. A lot of people didn't understand this, and you'll probably make a lot of people mad in doing so, but it was important for me to cut costs wherever possible. At the time I was financing an 11k wedding by myself on a 20k salary. Long lost cousin Susie wasn't a priority on my guest list. People I hadn't seen or spoken to in years weren't a priority. I gave my husband a pen and paper and told him to invite whoever he wanted, but he also understood that we were trying to save money. Every penny saved helped, and honestly, the day went by so quickly I don't even remember a lot of the people who were there. If people truly care about you, they'll understand that married life is hard and will be eager to help you in any way they can, even if that help is not coming to the wedding. Most of my friends and family were understanding when I explained to them that we didn’t have the money to invite everyone we wanted. And at the end of the day, it's your wedding, nobody else's.
4. Do as Much as You Can Ahead of Time
If you want to be so stressed out that you are incapacitated, then wait until the last second to book all of your services. I recommend, if you can, to book at least a year ahead of schedule. I didn't, and around four months before my wedding I was wondering how everything was going to get paid for.
You will end up financing a lot of things, especially the more expensive things. Unless you have boat loads of cash just laying around, of course, and a lot of places will turn you down if you don't have an adequate time frame to finance. The most important of these are the wedding ring, your catering service, the venue, the cake, and your wedding dress. A lot of DJ and music services will also require you to book ahead of time. We did, but I ended up stressing anyway because our DJ canceled on us 2 weeks before the wedding.
The process of looking for these people is pretty straightforward. I just googled the service I needed and made inquiries until I found someone within my budget. The venue will be slightly different though, as you'll want to tour venues and see which best suits your needs. It's also worth mentioning that before you choose a theme for your wedding, look at venues first. I originally planned for us to have a vintage wedding, but then we got married in a barn in Texas, so it ended up being a country fall wedding.
The very minimum amount of time you want to have for your dress is six months, unless you are having a friend or family member make your dress. Besides it taking a long time to pick a dress out (for some of us, anyway), bridal boutiques need time to clean and do alterations on your dress. I went with David's Bridal, but I personally wouldn't recommend them. The first time I picked up my dress from cleaning, I was deathly ill, I had to wait for 3 hours after they said it would be done, and when I picked it up and drove almost two hours home, I noticed the next day that my dress had oil stains all down the front of it from the sewing machines. They eventually fixed it, and my dress turned out to be gorgeous, but I would rather not have had that stress, especially when I was running fever and lost my voice. Not to mention the arm and leg I paid for my dress. I know a few who have had similar experiences, but I also know some who have had great experiences with David's Bridal. Either way, it's up to you.
Weddingwire.com had some great timelines to follow for booking all of your services. If you are past the month mark for booking your services, don't worry about it. I did the bulk of my planning in the last 6 months of my wedding (not recommended).
5. Wedding Shower and Wedding Registries
I forget how early I made my registries. I think maybe 5 or 6 months in advance. Even if you are already living together and have house stuff, making wedding registries is a good idea because you can update all your stuff, or get new stuff that you've wanted for a while. People are going to buy you gifts regardless, so you may as well have lists people can shop from to avoid ending up with a bunch of duplicate gifts or useless stuff that will just sit in the garage or in the corner of the junk drawer in your kitchen for years to come.
I registered with a variety of places. Amazon, Target, and Walmart were my top choices. I would especially recommend getting an Amazon registry because a lot of people are last seconders, and prime 1 or 2 day shipping will still give them a way to buy your gift even if it is the last second. Amazon was my most highly trafficked registry. Walmart was second, but a lot of people don't like shopping Walmart online because it can take up to two weeks for items to ship, and even if you go in store, most stores carry different products. Just because they have it online doesn't mean every Walmart (or any Walmart near you) carries it. When making your registries, don't be afraid to put anything and everything you could possibly want or need on there. I wish I had put more stuff on mine because nearly everything got purchased. I amended my registries right before the wedding, but very few gifts were purchased at that time.
Your wedding shower is typically two months before the wedding, around the same time you send out the official invitations. A lot of people I knew didn't know what a wedding shower was, so here you go: A wedding shower is an event where people bring gifts to the new couple to usher them into their new life together, helping them settle in. No matter what you do, weddings will end up being expensive, and if you buy couples gifts, even small ones, it helps them out a great deal in the long run by helping them save money on house things they won't have to otherwise purchase.
6. Wedding Day Preparation
Assemble a wedding day crew. Find people who are going to help you set up decorations, organize, direct, and put everything away once the event is over. It's easiest if you assign small duties to everyone who is helping you. I made lists of all my bridesmaids names, plus my grandparents, brother, parents, and aunt, who also came to help me set up. Under each name I wrote what I wanted them to do. It can be simple things like, “Decorate tables,”, “Set up head table,”, “Be in charge of handing out cake after the cake cutting,” or, “Decorate main stage.” Whatever small thing will make it easier for you, designate it to someone you can trust. My family was wonderful and helped me out more than I could ever thank them for.
I also had a table chart everyone could reference, so when we were moving tables and chairs around, everyone had a picture of what I wanted everything to look like so they knew what I wanted without asking me. It's also important to set a wedding day timeline. Even before the ceremony starts, you want to have given time frames for any activities, including decorating, salon trips for hair and makeup, a love note exchange, or whatever else you want to do before the ceremony and during it. Unless, of course, your venue let's you decorate the night before, which ours didn’t.
Your wedding day is going to happen one way or the other. Some things are just going to go wrong, and you have to let it happen and not worry about it. You're going to be married at the end of the day anyway.
Do as much reading as you can on planning a wedding. Every little tip I read helped, and in the end, I think my wedding was perfect. The only thing I would have changed was shortening the ceremony a bit so we would have had more time for family pictures. The wedding itself ended earlier than I thought, but I wasn't going to complain. I was exhausted, and thankful to get to go to bed early.
As my last piece of advice, turn your phone off on your wedding day and give everyone someone else's phone number to text or call for important questions. I designated my maid of honor for this task, but you could also use your mother or anyone else for this. Turn your phone off on your honeymoon too, or if you can't turn it off, don't answer text messages. And if you are that person who calls or texts on wedding day or honeymoon, unless it's of dire consequence, don't be that person.
2087
yousharknotpass
jbbartram-illu
annaxmalina
pixelskylines
areudirty
vaporwave
origamiaround
izzy806
jacobvanloon
