hey it’s me! i’m back! that one anon who asked abt put in your place! but the funniest thing- when it was last updated lol
IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY??? which is really funny to me
also do you have any writing tips???
i wanna get back into it lol
HI LEMON!!!!
Dude I can't even begin to talk about put in your place and or Sanders Sides. I think my brain has finally rotted through the entire series. Even if Thomas actually sticks to his word and uploads a season finale this year, it would take a category 5 hyperfixation event for me to write for this fandom I think.
Which fucking sucks because do you know how much fun writing for SaSi was? There was like, no in canon world building so really anything went. Literally ANYTHING.
I guess by writing tips if I had them would obvs be to read, but also like, oof I don't know if this would make sense but try writing out a sentence and imagine a character saying it? Okay so for example, every time I wrote a fic, I would be reading it in my head in the same voice as God from Good Omens. I really liked the way she narrated the show, and now whenever I write something I try to imagine her saying it? It's so funny because unfortunately I do this with academic papers, so all of my papers are written with this sort of snarky, maybe even slightly condescending tone. This helps me personally with grammar, spelling and structure, as I have this huge problem with my brain working faster than my mouth or hands can write. So I'll go back through my sentences, reading them in these voices and it helps me iron out those details when I realize entirely words or punctuation is missing.
But honestly aside from that, really like drawing you just have to do it. Writing I mean. The more you write the better you get. I've recently gotten back into the online RP community, and boy oh boy am I writing like never before. I am a novella-esque writer, so I wrote quite a lot very frequently. Fun fact about me, I consider myself more of an artist than a writer, and I actually got started doing both in the MLP:FIM community. First doing rps, then I started drawing my friends OCS, and now here I am over ten years later and I can write long prose and draw ponies EXCEPTIONALLY well.
I suppose also, at least what I do is when I read things I like to take note of how certain authors compose their sentences into stories. Pacing is a big thing to pay attention too, but also make sure you don't write unnecessary details. I am guilty of this in an attempt to make those word counts, but no one actually cares about this absolutely minute detail about this very specific thing that has nothing to do with the plot. On the contrary, I am a firm believer in creating to have fun, and I never at all saw my fan fics getting THIS much attention, so obviously I was getting crazy specific about non-important things. I was just mad vibing actually. In fact I'll tell you, I went into ALL of these fics like this. If somehow though, you manage to work in these details *into* the story, then that's amazing and you should do it. No one cares that Janus wears a hat, they care about *why* he wears a hat.
Also happy birthday! Sorry gang I'm probably not going to write for SaSi anymore. I have Castlevania brain rot so bad right now, and every time Thomathy posts a SaSi adjacent video I just kinda...get a bad taste in my mouth. I digress! I do not want to post Thomas Crit! I am curating my online experience and choosing to not contribute. I have just moved on is all :( id be happy to spoil the ending if you want. I was thinking about two endings.
Also I don't know if you were around for this or maybe you changed names, but the first SaSi fic I posted and the only one I actually finished was called In Loving Memory of the Least Loved of all and it was basically a fic where Janus fucking died straight up, but I always had an idea for a sequel to that too if y'all wanted me to spoil that as well lol.
that’s really cool! sucks you aren’t writing for TSS anymore, but things change. thank you SO MUCH for the writing tips and i’d love to see the ending [s] and “In Loving Memory of the Least Loved of All” sounds really cool and i would love the link before the spoilers lol
hey it’s me! i’m back! that one anon who asked abt put in your place! but the funniest thing- when it was last updated lol
IT WAS MY BIRTHDAY??? which is really funny to me
also do you have any writing tips???
i wanna get back into it lol
HI LEMON!!!!
Dude I can't even begin to talk about put in your place and or Sanders Sides. I think my brain has finally rotted through the entire series. Even if Thomas actually sticks to his word and uploads a season finale this year, it would take a category 5 hyperfixation event for me to write for this fandom I think.
Which fucking sucks because do you know how much fun writing for SaSi was? There was like, no in canon world building so really anything went. Literally ANYTHING.
I guess by writing tips if I had them would obvs be to read, but also like, oof I don't know if this would make sense but try writing out a sentence and imagine a character saying it? Okay so for example, every time I wrote a fic, I would be reading it in my head in the same voice as God from Good Omens. I really liked the way she narrated the show, and now whenever I write something I try to imagine her saying it? It's so funny because unfortunately I do this with academic papers, so all of my papers are written with this sort of snarky, maybe even slightly condescending tone. This helps me personally with grammar, spelling and structure, as I have this huge problem with my brain working faster than my mouth or hands can write. So I'll go back through my sentences, reading them in these voices and it helps me iron out those details when I realize entirely words or punctuation is missing.
But honestly aside from that, really like drawing you just have to do it. Writing I mean. The more you write the better you get. I've recently gotten back into the online RP community, and boy oh boy am I writing like never before. I am a novella-esque writer, so I wrote quite a lot very frequently. Fun fact about me, I consider myself more of an artist than a writer, and I actually got started doing both in the MLP:FIM community. First doing rps, then I started drawing my friends OCS, and now here I am over ten years later and I can write long prose and draw ponies EXCEPTIONALLY well.
I suppose also, at least what I do is when I read things I like to take note of how certain authors compose their sentences into stories. Pacing is a big thing to pay attention too, but also make sure you don't write unnecessary details. I am guilty of this in an attempt to make those word counts, but no one actually cares about this absolutely minute detail about this very specific thing that has nothing to do with the plot. On the contrary, I am a firm believer in creating to have fun, and I never at all saw my fan fics getting THIS much attention, so obviously I was getting crazy specific about non-important things. I was just mad vibing actually. In fact I'll tell you, I went into ALL of these fics like this. If somehow though, you manage to work in these details *into* the story, then that's amazing and you should do it. No one cares that Janus wears a hat, they care about *why* he wears a hat.
Also happy birthday! Sorry gang I'm probably not going to write for SaSi anymore. I have Castlevania brain rot so bad right now, and every time Thomathy posts a SaSi adjacent video I just kinda...get a bad taste in my mouth. I digress! I do not want to post Thomas Crit! I am curating my online experience and choosing to not contribute. I have just moved on is all :( id be happy to spoil the ending if you want. I was thinking about two endings.
Also I don't know if you were around for this or maybe you changed names, but the first SaSi fic I posted and the only one I actually finished was called In Loving Memory of the Least Loved of all and it was basically a fic where Janus fucking died straight up, but I always had an idea for a sequel to that too if y'all wanted me to spoil that as well lol.
Hello long time no see, how are you? XD
Sorry to bother you but, do you post your fics somewhere now???
I ask this because it passed some time since the last time you posted something here, and maybe you changed account or website????
HEY! ITS YOU! I REMEMBER YOU!
To answer your question, no I don't actually. This Tumblr blog is really just a living breathing archive for my fics, as well as the only place they're posted. Maybe one day when Thomas returns from the war and updates the series I'll actually update Put in Your Place. My SaSi hyperfixation is just a little dormant rn. In the meantime though, this blog remains alive. Lovely hearing from you!
YESSSS that idea is soooo good, I’m legit obsessed already. I hope we get to see it one day and if not, I hope you have a great time playing it with your party.
P.S. no pressure to respond, just wanted to thank you!
Hi hi!
AGH thank you!!! 🥺🥺🥺 That really means a lot!! I'm trying to break out of my shell more and put more original work out there, and I really appreciate your comment!
Yeah I'm still working on some character work, but I did post some character concepts on my main account in case you're interested! It's for the Prince and his father uwu
Also good luck to you in your future parties! I hope your adventures are grand!
Just wanted to chime in here reading your last post, I found your blog just as I was getting into the fandom and I still think it’s some of the best writing here. I read In the Gray over one sleepless night because I couldn’t put it down and recently I remembered it existed again and am rereading it a third time. As a creative myself I definitely understand the constant struggle with motivation and the original series hasn’t had a real episode for years, but I know you’ve got crazy talent. I’d absolutely love to hear about your more current work, especially as a DM and someone in the film industry. It’s simply inspiring to see someone so good at what they do.
-original concepts way down below at the end of the post-
Omg hey so so so so so so sorry I didn't respond to this!!! Ahhh so sorry I've seen this ask for days and every time I sit down to answer it something happens but HELLO!!
Ahhh I'm so glad ITG means so much to you! Rereading it THREE TIMES!?? OMG I'm so glad you like it so much! There is this one fic way outside the SaSi fandom that I annually reread every few years, and it's just amazing to me that someone liked my fic enough to read it once let alone three times 😭😭 thank you so much that really means a lot to me!
But yeah, it's hard to create when the source material has had all circulation cut off from it. I love SaSi though and it does still plague (affectionate) my mind from time to time. I have so many ideas still for PIYP, I just don't have the motivation to put them on a page. I think now fan fic writing has gone beyond hyperfixating and is now just good writing practice. Idk. One day I want to remaster all my SaSi fics. Something something digital footprint they will be there in cringey galore forever and if they're gonna be immortal well then they may as well get a remaster. Idk. Maybe some day uwu.
And about my personal work! A lot of it is in DnD terminology because originally it was for a campaign I was writing, but I'm just kinda using it as a foundation.
But yeah I'd love to share concepts for my personal work! It's -a lot- though lmao. To make a really long story short, basically there is these two kingdoms who are about to go to war because one kingdom is blaming the other for the disappearence of their prince. Shoot forward to a tavern owned by the family who recently invited their 'nephew' to come stay with them. Turns out the tavern keeper is this super crazy powerful healer, who found this random boy's body busted up and tangled high up in some trees. So the tavern keeper takes him, gives him a job, and let's him stay there because the boy cannot remember anything about his past life. The boy meets a lone adventurer and goes on a quest to figure out who he is, but all is not well when the boy gets his memories back and realizes that thousands of people are going to die because of him. At the same time the lone adventure gets kidnapped by his cruel noble family to be used in an arcane ritual, and the prince has to figure out how to save his friend while also preventing the war.
hey devil!! it’s like 11 for me right now and I have something important in the morning that I have to wake up for but I’m procrastinating on it by reading the Put in your place fic and its awesome quick question tho
R u gonna update it? Cuz i can’t see any dates on it so I don’t know how long ago it was written so sry I was just curious so :)
Hey there! Sorry there is a lot a head, so beware long post!
So sorry I didn't get to this sooner, between the army of pornbots I'm fighting off and the existential dread of being, I may have missed your ask 😁
To answer your question however!...I am unsure.
I have a plot line for how I want Put In Your Place to go. I know where it's supposed to go from here and how it will end. My problem is just a complete lack of motivation.
With SaSi not being updated -properly- in roughly 3 years, my motivation to create for this series has plummeted. Of course! The landing was very soft and easy thanks to the love and support I got from everyone. It's just- eugh- very difficult to create for something, that doesn't really...exist? Anymore. And that's the worst part of it, y'know? I feel bad for Thomas. This show was his damn golden goose and he just... did. Nothing with it. Yeah it was nice seeing the boys in the ads but...I feel like we'll see another US president before we see an episode of Sanders Sides...
As for Put In Your Place... -sigh- that snake does have six hands attached my attention span at all times huh? I'd say at this point I've formerly left the fandom I suppose. But yknow what's crazy? I still fucking adore Janus and Patton. Genuinely, as characters and what they represent, they mean a lot to me. Like, I cannot stress to you enough how much those goofy lil guys actually got me through homelessness, Covid-19, my family breaking apart and the entire shitshow that has been the last two years.
So, for the fanfic, I'll tell you this. In an odd way, I think despite my personal opinions about the show and where in the hell it's disappeared too, I will always pay attention to Janus and Patton. I constantly think about picking back up Put in Your Place actually. That fic haunts me in the most pleasant of ways.
I'm unsure of whether or not I will pick up writing fics again. Right now I'm doing a bunch of personal work. I'm in preproduction for a small horror film, and I'm in deeeeeeeeep conceptual production for a gothic horror DnD-esque fantasy story that has been wracking my brain for months (gawwwwdd someone ask me about my gothic fantasy series) but I will tell you this!
Wherever you are, whether you got up and did that important thing you had to do at 11am or not, whether your procrastinating or something else,
The next chapter of Put in Your Place, will be for you, anon :)
A/n: oops hi. Sorry I was gone, I kindaaaaa fizzled out of fandom spaces for a second. Not sure how long I'll be here, but we'll see what happens.
Also, I have created the AO3. There is some house keeping I have to take care of first before I can reveal it.
Summary:(Canon-verse) A freak accident leaves the all encompassing moral compass in shambles. Patton and Janus have been side swapped; switched into each other's bodies with almost no idea how to switch back. Forced to live each other's daily life, the two sides must figure out how to switch back without raising suspicion.
Warnings: Weird lucid dreams, swearing, characters being mean to Logan, gross food and bad food textures, manipulation, mentions of killing and murder.
<-First Chapter
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Chapter 5: Test Run
Patton had the weirdest dream that night, as well as what he would chalk up to as the worst night sleep ever.
He went to bed, freezing. Patton had never been so cold in his life. Several times he got up to get more blankets, each making him sink more into a freezing bed. He felt like his body had finally just given up, and succumbed to sleep. He drifted off to the loud clacking of his fangs against his bottom row of teeth. Cold scales pressed into all sections of his body. To him, his own bed was uncomfortable even. Like he could feel his spine rejecting the softness of the mattress, or his skin itching at the wool blankets. Hell, he was starting to get frustrated from the sheer amount of stuffed animals on his bed. Like he was getting mad that they had more room that he did.
He dreamt that he was floating perilously through a black ocean. A blackened sky capped the horizon, faint white stars hung dimly over head. Patton swished his hand in the water. It was velvety almost, not completely the consistency of ocean water. A texture akin to something you'd see in an overly rendered Disney movie. This is what broke Patton's immersion and when he realized he was dreaming. This was also the first time Patton would say he'd ever lucid dreamed. Of course the sides dreamed. They dreamed like real humans. It was part of the Human experience, or at least what the sides thought that's what it was. Patton began to wonder if Logan dreamed. If someone as calculated and very important as Logic, could slip away into a dream filled slumber like the rest of them. For some reason, the question of whether or not Logic dreamed made Patton sad. The fact he had to wonder was what made him upset the most.
He looked down at himself through the water, unable to see the lower half of his body. He wondered if he was still in Janus's skin. Taking a glance at soft scaleless hands, Patton was relieved to see that at least in his dreams, he was still himself. Rosy flesh with a sprinkle of freckles. His own skin.
The water turned ice cold and rapid, little but powerful waves of black velvet attacked Patton's face, splashing ice cold needles against his skin. As tiny wave after tiny wave tried to drown him, Patton was surprised to find himself not all that panicked. Water splashed into his mouth as he came up gasping for air. It was bitter enough to make him gag, okay now a little panic. Patton was struggling to keep his head above the water now as ice cold velvet began to make his muscles ache. The waves themselves weren't even that big, they were just unruly.
An immeasurably beautiful light surfaced below him, turning the blackness around him gold. It seemed to glow, as Patton felt a powerful current beneath his feet. The glow around him wasn't making him feel any safer, if anything it only highlighted how alone he was, floating endlessly through the black abyss in his head. Patton gulped a mouth full of the awful velvet back down, before taking a deep breath. He wanted to see what was glowing under him. Filling his lungs with air, he gave up trying to fight the velvet waves and plunged himself down into the freezing glowing water. Just in time for the mysterious golden current to suck him down below the surface.
Whatever it was just seemed to get bigger and brighter under the water. Patton instinctively gasped, only to finally break out in panic. He clutched his throat, ready for the burn of water to hurt his lungs. When nothing actually happened, Patton quickly remembered that he was in a dream. In a silly little way, it wasn't the knowledge that he was in a dream and that nothing could hurt him that was keeping him relaxed. It was actually this conversation he had with Virgil one time, about a big scary looking balloon animal he saw in a dream once.
"Much like a real balloon animal, the one in my dream couldn't actually hurt me, the only thing it can do is...haunt my every waking moment with the billowing echoes of it's distressed, screaming, painful pop noise as it's soul fades into the dark places in my own head...it's soul forever trapped in the liminal spaces of my mind. Unreal, and imaginary..."
Oh how Patton missed those little kitchen talks they used to have. Maybe after this was all over, they could have them again, and Virgil could sit on the counter even though Patton would ask him not too.
The source of the light had finally turned into recognizable shapes. Or at least, one very big recognizable shape. A long, slender, ribbony figure, moving ever so gently through the black velvet. A snake, curved and glided it's way through the ocean in Patton's mind. Patton thought it was a small snake, a cute little guy even. Up until he saw his own hand swish into his line of vision, getting a good comparison of the size of his hand to the snake. The snake must have been miles below him, meaning it must have been massive.
Patton thought it's movements were rather graceful. Almost as if as it moved, it slow danced through the black, all of it's movements choreographed and perfectly planned. The curves of it's spine moved verbatim, as it winded and twisted it's body through the water. It's tail was causing the current mostly, behind it the water seemed to curve and trail with it. Patton wondered if it was friendly...
Patton very quickly became aware of the situation. Yes, this was a dream. But Patton was alone, floating endlessly through a black ocean, miles above a giant golden snake, a predator, probably second away from being swallowed. In this moment, he thought of his friends. Logan, or maybe Roman, would have commented on the poetry of the situation. There Patton was, stuck in someone else's body, probably experiencing someone else's dream. A tiny creature in a void, unknowingly pursued by a snake. He wondered what this dream meant to Janus. If this dream was even for Janus. He wondered if all Janus dreamt about was snakes, and if so when he encountered this one if he was ever afraid.
And then he woke up.
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Patton shot up in bed, ripping the covers off his freezing cold legs and jumping up to his freezing cold feet. He heard a crash. A really, really loud crash. It woke him up abruptly and pulled him from his special little hellscape night sleep. An unusual sense of... something? Passed through him and immediately disappeared. God what was that? Disdain? Annoyance? Resentment for being abruptly woken up?
Janus hadn't gotten any sleep at all. In fact, about an hour after Patton fell asleep, Janus had gotten curious about the extent of which his powers worked in Patton's body. So far, he had figured out how to summon and conjuring stuff, and had spent most of the night playing with a tennis ball he had conjured. Right now, he was trying to relearn how to appear in different places. For lack of better words, trying to relearn how to teleport. Janus, being the little freak he was, had learned a special technique of just kinda fading in and out of wherever he pleased. I'm fact he had gotten so good at it, he was able to do it to other people too. It was his party trick, and he had been pretty apt to get it back.
Unfortunately, on about his 13th attempt at trying he ended up accidentally force thrusting his body down onto the ground, effectively breaking Patton's coffee table.
"Jan, buddy..." Patton said through chattering teeth. "what are you doing?? It's 7am??"
"Quiet I'm on the verge of breakthrough!" Janus snapped and disappeared.
Patton gasped. His coffee table! A few seconds later, Janus reappeared soaking wet in Patton's kitchen...but on two feet nonetheless..
"AHA! I'VE DONE IT!" Janus shouted triumphantly, on the verge of obsession. He was lightly shaking from cold. Patton sort of thought he looked like a wet dog, cold and pathetic dripping water on his kitchen floor.
Patton shook his head. Damn he was having mean thoughts for some reason.
"Ahah. Yeah. You broke my coffee table." Patton frowned.
"oh yes yes of course of course. My bad, silly me." Janus snapped some finger guns at Patton's coffee table, making it magically begin to fix it's self. "I was just busy learning how to conjure stuff and teleport. What have you been doing? Sleeping!" He crossed his arms. "Tsk tsk slacking-mmpf!"
He was cut off by Patton rubbing a towel over his head. Patton fluffed the towel over his head and shoulders, trying to sop up as much water as possible. In the process he fluffed up Janus's hair, making him try to fight the towel in protest.
"Good job bestie I am so happy for you!" Patton droned. "but could you try learning how to be a side at reasonable hours? Also where did you go? Poor thing you're soaked."
"The imagination." Janus said while he tried to fight Patton off. "I landed in the ocean."
"Woooooooow. Look at you! So powerful!" Patton smiled.
Janus pulled the towel off of his head. "Don't patronize me!" He frowned and snapped his fingers, drying his clothes.
"I'm not!" Patton snickered. "I'm not patronizing you at all..."
"Mm-meh your me impression can still use some work there buddy." Janus rolled his eyes. "Also I can't see shit so I think your body is broken and I just wanna say for the record that it isn't my fault and I am not taking responsibility for you being blind now."
"Well you're not wearing glasses Janus." Patton smiled. "I can't see without my glasses."
With that, Patton draped the towel over Janus's shoulders and turned to his heel. Patton walked to his bed side and grabbed his glasses. He thought about how this was his special hat moment. Proudly, he turned back and walked to Janus, holding thick black framed glasses gently in his hand. Janus glanced at them. Pride swelled in Patton's chest.
"oh yeah...you actually need those to see." Janus said flatley.
Just like that the magic was gone. Patton's shoulders slumped. "Yes Janus I need them to see."
"...Lenses and all?" Janus took them gently. He sounded like he was almost trying not to believe Patton.
"Yes lenses and all." Patton rolled his eyes.
Janus unfolded the glasses and slipped them on his nose. He could see now. Thankfully. "Well look at that..."
"Ah, nice one." Patton's smile shined through his scales. His smile faded slightly. "Wait when you impersonated me, did those glasses not have lenses?"
Janus blushed slightly. He had vivid memories of him struggling to pop out the lenses of the glasses he made for his Patton outfit. Like it took him a few hours. Several hours and several mini tools later, it was Remus who just made him a new pair of glasses, this time without the lenses. Janus just didn't want all his tedious efforts to be for nothing, and come to find out that Patton did actually need lensed glasses really was rather irritating. However it begged the question why some sides needed glasses and others didn't.
"Actually for your information," Janus slid up the glasses with his middle finger. Patton could only smile. "I did in fact have lenses in those glasses because I am great at impersonation."
With that, Janus walked towards the door.
"You know...I have a sneaking suspicion you're lying." Patton crossed his arms.
"Oh yeah?" Janus smirked. He was reaching for the cat hoodie he had slung on the coat hanger a few hours prior. "What makes you so sure?"
"Sometimes when you say stuff, I start tasting apples. It is very distinctly apples, and it's only when you say stuff sometimes." Patton pursed his lips.
Janus felt his skin crawl. Something about his secrets as Deceit being discovered really bugged him. "Yeah well...just because you get a funny taste in your mouth doesn't mean I'm lying. Try again when you have more evidence to back that claim up." He didn't exactly snap at Patton, he more so just shot him a glare. On the other hand though, he thought the apple taste was fascinating. He had never wondered what his own lies tasted like. The taste being apples did satisfy him a little.
"Yeah I expected that." Patton shrugged. He had a feeling that Janus was going to make this self discovery thing as difficult as possible.
Patton strode over to Janus, pulling a note pad out of a cabinet. He held it out to Janus, a meek smile plastered on his face.
Janus looked at him, and quirked a brow. "what's this?" He took it gently.
"It's the stuff you have to do today. Don't worry, it's pretty easy. We figured out the chore list and who does what on what days after we had accepted Virgil. It helps keep our mindscape cleaned up." Patton explained, while Janus looked at his list of stuff he had to do.
Fabulous. Cleaning up after Roman and Virgil. Janus had enough faith in Logan to clean up after himself. Well at least they all had designated days off so that was nice at least. Glad to know the core four were gentle on themselves. Not that he cared about their personal well being, but happy sides meant happy Thomas.
Not that anyone had been happy lately.
"Oh also, you gotta make them breakfast." Patton yawned his way back to the kitchen.
"I beg your pardon?" Janus asked.
"yeah it's a thing we do. Or at least, I thing I do. For them. I love those guys a lot so I try to do nice things for them." Patton smiled and started making coffee. "But, since it is Friday I don't normally do it. But I'd imagine they'd be worried about me so maybe a breakfast is a good idea. Y'know like, a good way of keeping the air calm." He finger pointed at Janus and smiled. "Yeah! It's like, setting the stage!"
Janus wasn't gonna say this out loud, but he couldn't give a rats ass whether or not Roman, Virgil and Logan had a healthy meal prepared and served to them in the morning. Yeah yeah self care and stuff. Self. Care. Meaning they made their own damn breakfast. However Janus did like Patton's way of thinking. Glad to see he was really getting into the role of Deceit. He'd compliment his thought process here but he didn't want Patton to think to hard about it. After all, what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.
"umm okay. Sure whatever." Janus begrudgingly agreed. "You have stuff to do too y'know."
"oh? Sure. What do you need me to do? I'd be happy to help." Patton smiled.
"I need you to go check on my room. Make sure it's in order. Once my room is in check we can work on fixing my staff and getting us back to normal." Janus said, tying the hoodie around his shoulders.
"Hm. Seems fair enough." Patton nodded. "Oh god wait there is one more thing I forgot to tell you!-"
With that Janus was out the door. He wasn't about to be roped into doing someones laundry or something. Or doing someones dishes or cleaning someone's room. He wasn't a dad, he was in this case...a stepdad. Yeah. A stepdad. There enough but not entirely. Just the way it should be.
------
Janus made omelets.
Amazing omelets, possibly. Green onion, tomato and cheddar. Side of sour cream. Patton had made omelettes before, but not like this.
"Good morning, Patton." Said the mechanical drone of Logic. Janus very gently lifted his head. He wouldn't let Logan see him with his head down.
After all, this was war. A war between the ever intelligent and powerful Logic, and the clever and delightfully twisted Deceit. They were very much onto each other. Janus was going to have to play his cards meticulously.
Janus swung around. A perfect million dollar grin on his face. He had practiced his teeth that night. He leaned his hip on the counter, tucking a big mixing bowl under his arm and gingerly whisking the egg yolks. He looked at Logan, deep into eyes. Piercing past four pairs of lenses, Logan stared back at a pair of eyes that definitely did not belong to Patton. These were wicked, dark. But the smile plastered on Patton's face could have fooled God himself. But Logan wasn't God.
He was Logic.
And by knowledge as his greatest weapon, he knew those eyes were not Patton's.
"Morning kiddo!" Janus beamed. "Sleep well?"
"Yes actually. I slept perfectly I'd say." Logan smiled a little and pushed his glasses up his nose. "A perfect 8 hours, no big meals before. My spine was perfectly aligned." With that, he walked over to the counter, picked up a perfectly plated omelette and regarded it with interest.
"oh, I see you have been utilizing that cook book Roman gave you." Logan smiled an sat at the table.
Janus nodded. "Yeah! I thought that maybe I'd do something special for you guys today. Just wanted to make sure you guys weren't worried or anything. Plus I'm about to do some room renovations and well, with everyone being so busy I thought this would be the best way to let everyone know that my room will be close for a few days."
Logan's smile peeked a little. Janus didn't know why that scared him so much.
"Well, I commend your efforts." Logan nodded. "Do you want me to wait for everyone else?"
"hmm." Janus checked the time. "You think they'll show?"
"Oh my. 11 am." Logan looked at Janus, a little doubtful frown growing on his face.
Janus was going to choke Roman and Virgil. "Mmmm." He hummed in irritation. "I'm gonna go get-"
Loud footsteps were coming barreling down the stairs. Roman came running down the stairs, hopping over the banister and bounding into the kitchen. Janus barely had time to put the bowl down before Roman snatched him up into the tightest hug he had ever experienced. Thank God the air was being pushed out of his lungs, because Roman would have absolutely heard him screaming at him to put him down.
"OH THANK GOD YOU'RE BACK!" Roman cried. "DUDE WHAT HAPPENED!? DID YOU DISCORPERATE!? OH MY GOD WHO HURT YOU!?"
"C-aa...t- br-....ack-!" Janus wheezed.
Roman dropped him gently and let go of him enough to breath. Janus could hear his ears ringing as air began to fill his lungs again.
"Jeez dude be careful." Virgil droned. "Don't kill him all over again." A chair slide creak and the emo had plopped himself into his seat.
Janus leaned on the counter and breathed. Damn his hugs were hard like Remus's. "If...if you....sit down kiddo..." He wheezed. "and let me finish breakfast....I'll tell you all about it." He coughed.
Roman groaned and begrudgingly sat back down in his seat.
After a coughing fit and three omelettes later, Janus served up the sides their omelettes and took what he assumed was his seat. The sides began eating.
"Okay Patton. What happened?" It was Virgil. After about five minutes of the most awkward breakfast Janus had ever had in his life, of all the sides to ask him what happened, it had to be Virgil. Janus felt he was going to implode.
Janus cleared his throat. Shit wait, was he supposed to tell them what happened??? Shit. "well see...it's still kinda blurry. " Janus chuckled nervously. "truth be told, I'd rather not talk about it right now..." He said quietly. "I'm sorry, I know I said I'd tell you but really I can't remember how it happened. I was just there and then, poof. I wasn't anymore." Janus rubbed his head.
"Wait what?! You don't remember??" Roman asked quickly. "Were you alone when it happened or...?"
This more of an insinuating question. Everyone at the table caught onto that very quickly. However it was also a very loaded question and honestly yeah, Remus did like to joke about the potential of 'humanely removing' Patton from a situation. Janus honestly thought this question was so loaded it was kinda funny.
"Oh yes yes I was alone." Janus smiled and waved a hand. "Don't worry, Remus didn't do anything." He chuckled. "and neither did Janus before any of you ask! It was all me."
"eh fair enough." Virgil nodded and went back to his omelette. "As long as it wasn't someone else, then. Besides, those chumps don't have the nerve."
Janus was relieved that Virgil believed him. Glad to know that at least he wouldn't second guess him or Remus killing Patton. Even though it was kinda insulting.
"Hey Pat, gotta tell you. This omelette is amazing!" Roman said, mouth full of egg.
"Oh yeah no problem!" Janus beamed. "thanks for letting me borrow that cook book Roman."
There was another awkward pause with the terrible sound of forks clinking against plates. Roman furrowed his brow but didn't look at him.
"Huh. I didn't know I loaned you a cook book." Said Roman, biting into his egg.
Janus felt the air get sucked out of the room. His body went so quiet, his heartbeat sounded like a bullet shot. His eyes drifted to Logan, who was looking back at him. Now, staring into Janus's soul, Logan reveled in the visible horror in Janus's eyes. There wasn't a smile, a grin nor smirk on Logic's face. He didn't need one. Logan's eyes said it all.
Logan was out for blood.
Deceit stared back into Logan's eyes. Fear tuned to fire. Logan had won this battle, but the war was from over. He'd need a lot more than falsehoods to win this game.
"Hey Logan whatcha reading?" Janus asked, completely derailing the conversation. Roman glanced at him, and Virgil twisted his body in his direction.
Logan was caught off guard, a slight glimmer in his eyes as he proudly held up his book. "Oh it's called The Study of the Subconscious Body by-''
"Anyway so guys!' Janus cut him off, and Roman happily looked back to Patton, and Virgil twisted his body that way.
Janus caught a glimpse of Logan's eyes, and the way they seemed to fall as he stole the others attention. Not sadly of course, more or less...in defeat. Truth be told, Janus didn't do that to be mean. Instead he wanted to...humble Logan. Didn't want him to get too excited now.
Logan took a sip of his coffee, and looked into Janus's eyes. That was a low blow and they both knew it. But Logan wasn't mad. Logan never got mad of course. Instead, he sipped his coffee in defeat. Fine, he would expose Janus another time...
However, if that was Janus, where was Patton?
"I wanted to tell you guys that if you need me, please just summon me to you. I'm going to be rearranging my room and I'd really rather not have guests at the moment." Janus smiled. "Its a mess and I'm rather embarrassed about it..."
"Do you want help, Pat?" Virgil asked very very quietly, not looking at him. He was mostly asking out of courtesy.
"Oh no guys I'm alright! Thank you for the offer though." Patton smiled.
"Alright well, don't get lost in there alright? You do that sometimes." Roman said.
What the hell did that mean? Janus refrained from quirking an inquisitive brow. Did Patton get wrapped up in how own head that much? Janus was starting question whether or not leaving Patton alone in his room in his body was a good idea.
"Yeah yeah I know." Janus doted warmly. "if you get worried, just summon me okay?"
With that, the four sides continued with their breakfast. Janus caught Virgil really fighting to stomach those eggs.
Oh shit wait, Virgil doesn't like eggs. Janus knew that from a long time ago, but completely forgot about it. Shit.
"Yeah...these omelets are just really good Patton..." He said, very quietly. "Just enjoying them and all.."
Janus knew that was a lie. It unnerved him that he couldn't taste it though.
"Oh yeah pops. These omelets slap." Roman said. "not burnt at all."
This was definitely the worst breakfast experience Janus had ever had in his life. He loved, breakfast. This was devastating. Logan caught him red handed and set him up, Virgil is fighting for his life to eat eggs, and Roman, oh Roman that sweet summer soul, genuinely just believed that out of nowhere Patton was suddenly really good at making omelets. In a way he wished Logan would have just said something and put him out of his misery. This was by far his sloppiest performance ever, and the worst part was he was doing everything right!
Janus swallowed hard. "Well, I'm gonna go finish up some cleaning-" he was going to offer to do the dishes but decided that would definitely tip Virgil off. "if you guys need me I'll be in my room."
With that, Janus stood up and went to put his plate in the sink. He was ready to sink out and collapse. He heard the clinking of plates switching, as Virgil traded plates with Roman. Virgil couldn't stomach the texture of eggs any more it was just too much. Janus didn't mind, and he knew Patton wouldn't have been offended either. Janus sunk out back to Patton's room before they could ask anything else of him. Thank God Patton wasn't there. Janus couldn't face him right now, he was far too embarrassed by his lacking performance.
A/n: oops hi. Sorry I was gone, I kindaaaaa fizzled out of fandom spaces for a second. Not sure how long I'll be here, but we'll see what happens.
Also, I have created the AO3. There is some house keeping I have to take care of first before I can reveal it.
Summary:(Canon-verse) A freak accident leaves the all encompassing moral compass in shambles. Patton and Janus have been side swapped; switched into each other's bodies with almost no idea how to switch back. Forced to live each other's daily life, the two sides must figure out how to switch back without raising suspicion.
Warnings: Weird lucid dreams, swearing, characters being mean to Logan, gross food and bad food textures, manipulation, mentions of killing and murder.
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Chapter 5: Test Run
Patton had the weirdest dream that night, as well as what he would chalk up to as the worst night sleep ever.
He went to bed, freezing. Patton had never been so cold in his life. Several times he got up to get more blankets, each making him sink more into a freezing bed. He felt like his body had finally just given up, and succumbed to sleep. He drifted off to the loud clacking of his fangs against his bottom row of teeth. Cold scales pressed into all sections of his body. To him, his own bed was uncomfortable even. Like he could feel his spine rejecting the softness of the mattress, or his skin itching at the wool blankets. Hell, he was starting to get frustrated from the sheer amount of stuffed animals on his bed. Like he was getting mad that they had more room that he did.
He dreamt that he was floating perilously through a black ocean. A blackened sky capped the horizon, faint white stars hung dimly over head. Patton swished his hand in the water. It was velvety almost, not completely the consistency of ocean water. A texture akin to something you'd see in an overly rendered Disney movie. This is what broke Patton's immersion and when he realized he was dreaming. This was also the first time Patton would say he'd ever lucid dreamed. Of course the sides dreamed. They dreamed like real humans. It was part of the Human experience, or at least what the sides thought that's what it was. Patton began to wonder if Logan dreamed. If someone as calculated and very important as Logic, could slip away into a dream filled slumber like the rest of them. For some reason, the question of whether or not Logic dreamed made Patton sad. The fact he had to wonder was what made him upset the most.
He looked down at himself through the water, unable to see the lower half of his body. He wondered if he was still in Janus's skin. Taking a glance at soft scaleless hands, Patton was relieved to see that at least in his dreams, he was still himself. Rosy flesh with a sprinkle of freckles. His own skin.
The water turned ice cold and rapid, little but powerful waves of black velvet attacked Patton's face, splashing ice cold needles against his skin. As tiny wave after tiny wave tried to drown him, Patton was surprised to find himself not all that panicked. Water splashed into his mouth as he came up gasping for air. It was bitter enough to make him gag, okay now a little panic. Patton was struggling to keep his head above the water now as ice cold velvet began to make his muscles ache. The waves themselves weren't even that big, they were just unruly.
An immeasurably beautiful light surfaced below him, turning the blackness around him gold. It seemed to glow, as Patton felt a powerful current beneath his feet. The glow around him wasn't making him feel any safer, if anything it only highlighted how alone he was, floating endlessly through the black abyss in his head. Patton gulped a mouth full of the awful velvet back down, before taking a deep breath. He wanted to see what was glowing under him. Filling his lungs with air, he gave up trying to fight the velvet waves and plunged himself down into the freezing glowing water. Just in time for the mysterious golden current to suck him down below the surface.
Whatever it was just seemed to get bigger and brighter under the water. Patton instinctively gasped, only to finally break out in panic. He clutched his throat, ready for the burn of water to hurt his lungs. When nothing actually happened, Patton quickly remembered that he was in a dream. In a silly little way, it wasn't the knowledge that he was in a dream and that nothing could hurt him that was keeping him relaxed. It was actually this conversation he had with Virgil one time, about a big scary looking balloon animal he saw in a dream once.
"Much like a real balloon animal, the one in my dream couldn't actually hurt me, the only thing it can do is...haunt my every waking moment with the billowing echoes of it's distressed, screaming, painful pop noise as it's soul fades into the dark places in my own head...it's soul forever trapped in the liminal spaces of my mind. Unreal, and imaginary..."
Oh how Patton missed those little kitchen talks they used to have. Maybe after this was all over, they could have them again, and Virgil could sit on the counter even though Patton would ask him not too.
The source of the light had finally turned into recognizable shapes. Or at least, one very big recognizable shape. A long, slender, ribbony figure, moving ever so gently through the black velvet. A snake, curved and glided it's way through the ocean in Patton's mind. Patton thought it was a small snake, a cute little guy even. Up until he saw his own hand swish into his line of vision, getting a good comparison of the size of his hand to the snake. The snake must have been miles below him, meaning it must have been massive.
Patton thought it's movements were rather graceful. Almost as if as it moved, it slow danced through the black, all of it's movements choreographed and perfectly planned. The curves of it's spine moved verbatim, as it winded and twisted it's body through the water. It's tail was causing the current mostly, behind it the water seemed to curve and trail with it. Patton wondered if it was friendly...
Patton very quickly became aware of the situation. Yes, this was a dream. But Patton was alone, floating endlessly through a black ocean, miles above a giant golden snake, a predator, probably second away from being swallowed. In this moment, he thought of his friends. Logan, or maybe Roman, would have commented on the poetry of the situation. There Patton was, stuck in someone else's body, probably experiencing someone else's dream. A tiny creature in a void, unknowingly pursued by a snake. He wondered what this dream meant to Janus. If this dream was even for Janus. He wondered if all Janus dreamt about was snakes, and if so when he encountered this one if he was ever afraid.
And then he woke up.
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Patton shot up in bed, ripping the covers off his freezing cold legs and jumping up to his freezing cold feet. He heard a crash. A really, really loud crash. It woke him up abruptly and pulled him from his special little hellscape night sleep. An unusual sense of... something? Passed through him and immediately disappeared. God what was that? Disdain? Annoyance? Resentment for being abruptly woken up?
Janus hadn't gotten any sleep at all. In fact, about an hour after Patton fell asleep, Janus had gotten curious about the extent of which his powers worked in Patton's body. So far, he had figured out how to summon and conjuring stuff, and had spent most of the night playing with a tennis ball he had conjured. Right now, he was trying to relearn how to appear in different places. For lack of better words, trying to relearn how to teleport. Janus, being the little freak he was, had learned a special technique of just kinda fading in and out of wherever he pleased. I'm fact he had gotten so good at it, he was able to do it to other people too. It was his party trick, and he had been pretty apt to get it back.
Unfortunately, on about his 13th attempt at trying he ended up accidentally force thrusting his body down onto the ground, effectively breaking Patton's coffee table.
"Jan, buddy..." Patton said through chattering teeth. "what are you doing?? It's 7am??"
"Quiet I'm on the verge of breakthrough!" Janus snapped and disappeared.
Patton gasped. His coffee table! A few seconds later, Janus reappeared soaking wet in Patton's kitchen...but on two feet nonetheless..
"AHA! I'VE DONE IT!" Janus shouted triumphantly, on the verge of obsession. He was lightly shaking from cold. Patton sort of thought he looked like a wet dog, cold and pathetic dripping water on his kitchen floor.
Patton shook his head. Damn he was having mean thoughts for some reason.
"Ahah. Yeah. You broke my coffee table." Patton frowned.
"oh yes yes of course of course. My bad, silly me." Janus snapped some finger guns at Patton's coffee table, making it magically begin to fix it's self. "I was just busy learning how to conjure stuff and teleport. What have you been doing? Sleeping!" He crossed his arms. "Tsk tsk slacking-mmpf!"
He was cut off by Patton rubbing a towel over his head. Patton fluffed the towel over his head and shoulders, trying to sop up as much water as possible. In the process he fluffed up Janus's hair, making him try to fight the towel in protest.
"Good job bestie I am so happy for you!" Patton droned. "but could you try learning how to be a side at reasonable hours? Also where did you go? Poor thing you're soaked."
"The imagination." Janus said while he tried to fight Patton off. "I landed in the ocean."
"Woooooooow. Look at you! So powerful!" Patton smiled.
Janus pulled the towel off of his head. "Don't patronize me!" He frowned and snapped his fingers, drying his clothes.
"I'm not!" Patton snickered. "I'm not patronizing you at all..."
"Mm-meh your me impression can still use some work there buddy." Janus rolled his eyes. "Also I can't see shit so I think your body is broken and I just wanna say for the record that it isn't my fault and I am not taking responsibility for you being blind now."
"Well you're not wearing glasses Janus." Patton smiled. "I can't see without my glasses."
With that, Patton draped the towel over Janus's shoulders and turned to his heel. Patton walked to his bed side and grabbed his glasses. He thought about how this was his special hat moment. Proudly, he turned back and walked to Janus, holding thick black framed glasses gently in his hand. Janus glanced at them. Pride swelled in Patton's chest.
"oh yeah...you actually need those to see." Janus said flatley.
Just like that the magic was gone. Patton's shoulders slumped. "Yes Janus I need them to see."
"...Lenses and all?" Janus took them gently. He sounded like he was almost trying not to believe Patton.
"Yes lenses and all." Patton rolled his eyes.
Janus unfolded the glasses and slipped them on his nose. He could see now. Thankfully. "Well look at that..."
"Ah, nice one." Patton's smile shined through his scales. His smile faded slightly. "Wait when you impersonated me, did those glasses not have lenses?"
Janus blushed slightly. He had vivid memories of him struggling to pop out the lenses of the glasses he made for his Patton outfit. Like it took him a few hours. Several hours and several mini tools later, it was Remus who just made him a new pair of glasses, this time without the lenses. Janus just didn't want all his tedious efforts to be for nothing, and come to find out that Patton did actually need lensed glasses really was rather irritating. However it begged the question why some sides needed glasses and others didn't.
"Actually for your information," Janus slid up the glasses with his middle finger. Patton could only smile. "I did in fact have lenses in those glasses because I am great at impersonation."
With that, Janus walked towards the door.
"You know...I have a sneaking suspicion you're lying." Patton crossed his arms.
"Oh yeah?" Janus smirked. He was reaching for the cat hoodie he had slung on the coat hanger a few hours prior. "What makes you so sure?"
"Sometimes when you say stuff, I start tasting apples. It is very distinctly apples, and it's only when you say stuff sometimes." Patton pursed his lips.
Janus felt his skin crawl. Something about his secrets as Deceit being discovered really bugged him. "Yeah well...just because you get a funny taste in your mouth doesn't mean I'm lying. Try again when you have more evidence to back that claim up." He didn't exactly snap at Patton, he more so just shot him a glare. On the other hand though, he thought the apple taste was fascinating. He had never wondered what his own lies tasted like. The taste being apples did satisfy him a little.
"Yeah I expected that." Patton shrugged. He had a feeling that Janus was going to make this self discovery thing as difficult as possible.
Patton strode over to Janus, pulling a note pad out of a cabinet. He held it out to Janus, a meek smile plastered on his face.
Janus looked at him, and quirked a brow. "what's this?" He took it gently.
"It's the stuff you have to do today. Don't worry, it's pretty easy. We figured out the chore list and who does what on what days after we had accepted Virgil. It helps keep our mindscape cleaned up." Patton explained, while Janus looked at his list of stuff he had to do.
Fabulous. Cleaning up after Roman and Virgil. Janus had enough faith in Logan to clean up after himself. Well at least they all had designated days off so that was nice at least. Glad to know the core four were gentle on themselves. Not that he cared about their personal well being, but happy sides meant happy Thomas.
Not that anyone had been happy lately.
"Oh also, you gotta make them breakfast." Patton yawned his way back to the kitchen.
"I beg your pardon?" Janus asked.
"yeah it's a thing we do. Or at least, I thing I do. For them. I love those guys a lot so I try to do nice things for them." Patton smiled and started making coffee. "But, since it is Friday I don't normally do it. But I'd imagine they'd be worried about me so maybe a breakfast is a good idea. Y'know like, a good way of keeping the air calm." He finger pointed at Janus and smiled. "Yeah! It's like, setting the stage!"
Janus wasn't gonna say this out loud, but he couldn't give a rats ass whether or not Roman, Virgil and Logan had a healthy meal prepared and served to them in the morning. Yeah yeah self care and stuff. Self. Care. Meaning they made their own damn breakfast. However Janus did like Patton's way of thinking. Glad to see he was really getting into the role of Deceit. He'd compliment his thought process here but he didn't want Patton to think to hard about it. After all, what he didn't know wouldn't hurt him.
"umm okay. Sure whatever." Janus begrudgingly agreed. "You have stuff to do too y'know."
"oh? Sure. What do you need me to do? I'd be happy to help." Patton smiled.
"I need you to go check on my room. Make sure it's in order. Once my room is in check we can work on fixing my staff and getting us back to normal." Janus said, tying the hoodie around his shoulders.
"Hm. Seems fair enough." Patton nodded. "Oh god wait there is one more thing I forgot to tell you!-"
With that Janus was out the door. He wasn't about to be roped into doing someones laundry or something. Or doing someones dishes or cleaning someone's room. He wasn't a dad, he was in this case...a stepdad. Yeah. A stepdad. There enough but not entirely. Just the way it should be.
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Janus made omelets.
Amazing omelets, possibly. Green onion, tomato and cheddar. Side of sour cream. Patton had made omelettes before, but not like this.
"Good morning, Patton." Said the mechanical drone of Logic. Janus very gently lifted his head. He wouldn't let Logan see him with his head down.
After all, this was war. A war between the ever intelligent and powerful Logic, and the clever and delightfully twisted Deceit. They were very much onto each other. Janus was going to have to play his cards meticulously.
Janus swung around. A perfect million dollar grin on his face. He had practiced his teeth that night. He leaned his hip on the counter, tucking a big mixing bowl under his arm and gingerly whisking the egg yolks. He looked at Logan, deep into eyes. Piercing past four pairs of lenses, Logan stared back at a pair of eyes that definitely did not belong to Patton. These were wicked, dark. But the smile plastered on Patton's face could have fooled God himself. But Logan wasn't God.
He was Logic.
And by knowledge as his greatest weapon, he knew those eyes were not Patton's.
"Morning kiddo!" Janus beamed. "Sleep well?"
"Yes actually. I slept perfectly I'd say." Logan smiled a little and pushed his glasses up his nose. "A perfect 8 hours, no big meals before. My spine was perfectly aligned." With that, he walked over to the counter, picked up a perfectly plated omelette and regarded it with interest.
"oh, I see you have been utilizing that cook book Roman gave you." Logan smiled an sat at the table.
Janus nodded. "Yeah! I thought that maybe I'd do something special for you guys today. Just wanted to make sure you guys weren't worried or anything. Plus I'm about to do some room renovations and well, with everyone being so busy I thought this would be the best way to let everyone know that my room will be close for a few days."
Logan's smile peeked a little. Janus didn't know why that scared him so much.
"Well, I commend your efforts." Logan nodded. "Do you want me to wait for everyone else?"
"hmm." Janus checked the time. "You think they'll show?"
"Oh my. 11 am." Logan looked at Janus, a little doubtful frown growing on his face.
Janus was going to choke Roman and Virgil. "Mmmm." He hummed in irritation. "I'm gonna go get-"
Loud footsteps were coming barreling down the stairs. Roman came running down the stairs, hopping over the banister and bounding into the kitchen. Janus barely had time to put the bowl down before Roman snatched him up into the tightest hug he had ever experienced. Thank God the air was being pushed out of his lungs, because Roman would have absolutely heard him screaming at him to put him down.
"OH THANK GOD YOU'RE BACK!" Roman cried. "DUDE WHAT HAPPENED!? DID YOU DISCORPERATE!? OH MY GOD WHO HURT YOU!?"
"C-aa...t- br-....ack-!" Janus wheezed.
Roman dropped him gently and let go of him enough to breath. Janus could hear his ears ringing as air began to fill his lungs again.
"Jeez dude be careful." Virgil droned. "Don't kill him all over again." A chair slide creak and the emo had plopped himself into his seat.
Janus leaned on the counter and breathed. Damn his hugs were hard like Remus's. "If...if you....sit down kiddo..." He wheezed. "and let me finish breakfast....I'll tell you all about it." He coughed.
Roman groaned and begrudgingly sat back down in his seat.
After a coughing fit and three omelettes later, Janus served up the sides their omelettes and took what he assumed was his seat. The sides began eating.
"Okay Patton. What happened?" It was Virgil. After about five minutes of the most awkward breakfast Janus had ever had in his life, of all the sides to ask him what happened, it had to be Virgil. Janus felt he was going to implode.
Janus cleared his throat. Shit wait, was he supposed to tell them what happened??? Shit. "well see...it's still kinda blurry. " Janus chuckled nervously. "truth be told, I'd rather not talk about it right now..." He said quietly. "I'm sorry, I know I said I'd tell you but really I can't remember how it happened. I was just there and then, poof. I wasn't anymore." Janus rubbed his head.
"Wait what?! You don't remember??" Roman asked quickly. "Were you alone when it happened or...?"
This more of an insinuating question. Everyone at the table caught onto that very quickly. However it was also a very loaded question and honestly yeah, Remus did like to joke about the potential of 'humanely removing' Patton from a situation. Janus honestly thought this question was so loaded it was kinda funny.
"Oh yes yes I was alone." Janus smiled and waved a hand. "Don't worry, Remus didn't do anything." He chuckled. "and neither did Janus before any of you ask! It was all me."
"eh fair enough." Virgil nodded and went back to his omelette. "As long as it wasn't someone else, then. Besides, those chumps don't have the nerve."
Janus was relieved that Virgil believed him. Glad to know that at least he wouldn't second guess him or Remus killing Patton. Even though it was kinda insulting.
"Hey Pat, gotta tell you. This omelette is amazing!" Roman said, mouth full of egg.
"Oh yeah no problem!" Janus beamed. "thanks for letting me borrow that cook book Roman."
There was another awkward pause with the terrible sound of forks clinking against plates. Roman furrowed his brow but didn't look at him.
"Huh. I didn't know I loaned you a cook book." Said Roman, biting into his egg.
Janus felt the air get sucked out of the room. His body went so quiet, his heartbeat sounded like a bullet shot. His eyes drifted to Logan, who was looking back at him. Now, staring into Janus's soul, Logan reveled in the visible horror in Janus's eyes. There wasn't a smile, a grin nor smirk on Logic's face. He didn't need one. Logan's eyes said it all.
Logan was out for blood.
Deceit stared back into Logan's eyes. Fear tuned to fire. Logan had won this battle, but the war was from over. He'd need a lot more than falsehoods to win this game.
"Hey Logan whatcha reading?" Janus asked, completely derailing the conversation. Roman glanced at him, and Virgil twisted his body in his direction.
Logan was caught off guard, a slight glimmer in his eyes as he proudly held up his book. "Oh it's called The Study of the Subconscious Body by-''
"Anyway so guys!' Janus cut him off, and Roman happily looked back to Patton, and Virgil twisted his body that way.
Janus caught a glimpse of Logan's eyes, and the way they seemed to fall as he stole the others attention. Not sadly of course, more or less...in defeat. Truth be told, Janus didn't do that to be mean. Instead he wanted to...humble Logan. Didn't want him to get too excited now.
Logan took a sip of his coffee, and looked into Janus's eyes. That was a low blow and they both knew it. But Logan wasn't mad. Logan never got mad of course. Instead, he sipped his coffee in defeat. Fine, he would expose Janus another time...
However, if that was Janus, where was Patton?
"I wanted to tell you guys that if you need me, please just summon me to you. I'm going to be rearranging my room and I'd really rather not have guests at the moment." Janus smiled. "Its a mess and I'm rather embarrassed about it..."
"Do you want help, Pat?" Virgil asked very very quietly, not looking at him. He was mostly asking out of courtesy.
"Oh no guys I'm alright! Thank you for the offer though." Patton smiled.
"Alright well, don't get lost in there alright? You do that sometimes." Roman said.
What the hell did that mean? Janus refrained from quirking an inquisitive brow. Did Patton get wrapped up in how own head that much? Janus was starting question whether or not leaving Patton alone in his room in his body was a good idea.
"Yeah yeah I know." Janus doted warmly. "if you get worried, just summon me okay?"
With that, the four sides continued with their breakfast. Janus caught Virgil really fighting to stomach those eggs.
Oh shit wait, Virgil doesn't like eggs. Janus knew that from a long time ago, but completely forgot about it. Shit.
"Yeah...these omelets are just really good Patton..." He said, very quietly. "Just enjoying them and all.."
Janus knew that was a lie. It unnerved him that he couldn't taste it though.
"Oh yeah pops. These omelets slap." Roman said. "not burnt at all."
This was definitely the worst breakfast experience Janus had ever had in his life. He loved, breakfast. This was devastating. Logan caught him red handed and set him up, Virgil is fighting for his life to eat eggs, and Roman, oh Roman that sweet summer soul, genuinely just believed that out of nowhere Patton was suddenly really good at making omelets. In a way he wished Logan would have just said something and put him out of his misery. This was by far his sloppiest performance ever, and the worst part was he was doing everything right!
Janus swallowed hard. "Well, I'm gonna go finish up some cleaning-" he was going to offer to do the dishes but decided that would definitely tip Virgil off. "if you guys need me I'll be in my room."
With that, Janus stood up and went to put his plate in the sink. He was ready to sink out and collapse. He heard the clinking of plates switching, as Virgil traded plates with Roman. Virgil couldn't stomach the texture of eggs any more it was just too much. Janus didn't mind, and he knew Patton wouldn't have been offended either. Janus sunk out back to Patton's room before they could ask anything else of him. Thank God Patton wasn't there. Janus couldn't face him right now, he was far too embarrassed by his lacking performance.
Hello! I'm no longer in the Sanders Sides fandom, but I still love your fics! It brings me joy whenever you post a new chapter😁
🥺🥺🥺 thank you so much anon! That really means a lot! I'm glad that my silly little fics can make you happy! I'm not sure where I am in the Sanders Sides fandom much these days, but blorbos will be blorbos y'know? I miss them from time to time. I'm glad that those who have moved on from the Sanders Sides fandom can still get something out of my work. Thank you so much for this lovely comment!!
Are you starting a completely new tag list? Because if so, I'm in.
Maybe. It's been a very long time since I've updated so I'm worried that if just post out of no where I am going to be bombarding a bunch of people with a fic for a fandom that they may have moved on from. I'll probably just post it with the last tag list, I just wanted to see who was still here lol
hey, i noticed you have a bunch of sanders sides fic that you're planning to move to ao3, and that you don't rly have a lot of time. would you be willing to let me help you move it? i just wanna be able to read your fic on ao3 lmao, since tumblr is. not v good for readers. i'm pretty good at working with html and ao3 and i don't want any compensation; i just want to be able to read more fic on ao3. if you want to check that i'm not a bot, my ao3 is the same as my tumblr url!
ty for your time, have a great timezone! if you wanna reach me, you can dm me here or on twitter (same handle :))
Hi hello wow! So sorry for responding to this ask so damn late. I sorta fell out of fandom spaces. Now saying I'm exactly back in them, but I've had a bit of an itch to write again so here I am.
This is a really kind and generous offer and I can't thank you enough, but I think I'm gonna have to decline. It isn't that I don't trust you or anything it's just well, I've grown. The fics that are on this blog Need Work. My reasoning to move to a03 is really about giving me an excuse to actually write a sequel to this one fic I wrote in 2019. I think once Im done with that itch and I actually sit down and write the thing I'll make the official move, because I don't want to post that sequel here anyway. It's a really kind offer but I'd really just like to learn how to do it myself. I've been wanting to write fics for other fandoms and I've been waiting until I move in order to do so. So unfortunately, I think I'll decline. For now. Not saying I won't change my mind and if I do I will definitely reach out.
When the move will happen is I can't really say. The best I can say is when I get the motivation to do so. I hate to sound like I'm nagging, but the overall lack of Sides content has been... stretching...my creative motivation. I'm not saying I need Thomas to upload to get work done, I think I just am so preoccupied with personal projects these days that I don't really have time to wait. I'm writing an original story/DnD campaign and that's been where most of my energy has been. I'll move them someday on my own, and when I do this blog will be the first to know about it.
A/n: ey sorry this took me so long I got a job and also school - you get the drill.
Summary:(Canon-verse) A freak accident leaves the all encompassing moral compass in shambles. Patton and Janus have been side swapped; switched into each other's bodies with almost no idea how to switch back. Forced to live each other's daily life, the two sides must figure out how to switch back without raising suspicion.
Warnings: Swearing, light slapping, some light manipulation, heavy themes of derealization and dissociation
<- First Chapter
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__________________
Chapter 4: Body switchin' blues
Patton couldn't believe how well he was taking this change. He was sort of self aware of his own emotions, and he knew that something as dire as of a situation as switching bodies should have had him in hysterics right about now. But he wasn't? He felt calm, walking side by side with his own body as it complained about how weird rising up was. Patton decided to take advantage of this sudden confidence in the situation, and just relax. At least it was Janus in his body and not someone else? Not that any of his friends weren't worthy or good enough to puppet his humble little corporeal form or anything, it's just at least Janus knew what Patton was about. If it wasn't Janus, Patton also wouldn't mind Logan. He personally thought that Logan would make a great Patton with all the puns he knew.
Meanwhile, Janus was kinda freaking out. He found out that staying angry was way more tiring in Patton's body, and couldn't keep a hold of that internal rage for very long. He kept clenching his fist, expecting to feel his hands in a pair of insulated gloves only to feel warm exposed flesh. Scaleless, warm blood filled, soft hands clenched so tightly his nails dug into his skin. Looking in front of him and seeing his body lead him through the dwelling space of the sides Thomas held closest to his heart was seriously messing with his head. Janus couldn't figure out what about the situation was more anxiety inducing. Was it the fact that he honestly had no idea how to fix this situation, or was it because he had lost all of the comforts and feeling of security that being deceit had brought him.
"...Hey Patton?" Janus asked.
"Hmm yeah?" Patton glanced at him and smiled as he lead Janus to his room.
"...what color is your shirt?" Janus picked at the side of Patton's shirt, rubbing the cotton between his fingers. Patton didn't seem to notice him plucking at his clothes.
"Red." Patton answered. Confidently. Janus almost believed that this shirt had been red for the entirety of Patton's life.
They kept walking until they reached Patton's room. No one had been out in the living room, so they didn't have to worry about anyone seeing them...for now. Patton opened the door for Janus, who noticed very quickly that Patton didn't lock his door.
"After you~" Patton said.
Janus rolled his eyes and stepped in. He walked towards the couch and gently placed his stuff on it, Patton following soon after.
"Patton the shirt is blue." Janus said.
"I know that silly. That's like, my favorite shirt." Patton giggled. "Worn it for years."
"You said it was red." Janus couldn't help but smile a little. "Liar."
Janus watched Patton's expression basically explode. Not so cool anymore huh Pat?
"I...I said red?" Patton asked.
"Yes indeed." Janus said. "Did you mean to say red?"
"I honestly thought I said blue, so no I didn't." Patton's eyes worried. Janus watched him rub his finger tips over the scales that coated his hands.
"You need to be more aware of yourself and what is going on around you. Speak with intention. Speaking without intention or conscious note of what is coming out of your mouth is dangerous." Janus came over and pinched his cheeks again. "Especially for someone with such a loveable face like mine~"
"Heeeyyyyy I think your face is very loveable!" Patton said through squished cheeks.
"I wasn't being self deprecating." Janus dawned a grin, and watched Patton internally spiral into guilt.
Janus shrugged and dropped his face. He stepped away from Patton to take in the room. He'd never actually...been inside Patton's room. To be here in Moralitie's room from his perspective was...way more underwhelming than he had imagined. The first thing he noticed was that it was kinda cluttered. Like it wasn't messy, there was just a lot of stuff in here. There was also a light coming in from a window, bringing a warm glow of gentle yellow light into the room. Where the light was coming from Janus didn't care to know. The ever changing pictures on the walls were also tripping him out; why Patton had so many pictures of Thomas's friends was beyond him. Janus also noticed that the couch was home to what had to be decades of lost stuffed animals from what could only be Thomas's childhood, as well as other toys lost by the other sides over the years. The most atrocious thing about this room in Janus's professional opinion was the curtain choice. Yes, Janus decided. This place was in fact one of the circles of hell.
"Hey Jan, here. Might want to put these on." Janus heard Patton behind him. He stopped looking around and turned to Patton, who was holding out a set of clothes to him.
Janus eyed them. Eugh, he hated the color blue... He took them gently from Patton, careful not to wrinkle anything. Patton personally thought that his gentleness was sweet. Watching Janus hold his clothes so softly was something that Patton felt like he wasn't supposed to see. Janus set the clothes down to the side and opened his own duffle bag.
"Aren't you cold?" Janus asked.
"Freezing actually." Patton said, allowing himself to finally shiver a little. "Goodness gracious I am so sorry Janus it's freezing in here I'll go turn on the heat-"
"Don't worry about me. You're cold blooded now." Janus said, pulling an outfit out for Patton. "Unfortunately my dear, I don't think a pollo shirt is going to cut it. Here." He held out some clothes to Patton, a pair of yellow gloves gently folded on top. "You'll need something thicker."
Patton gasped slightly in awe. "I get to wear a cape! I've always wanted to wear a cape!" He took the layers of clothing with as much gentleness as Janus took his own. Oh man as scary as the situation was boy oh boy did it come with cool stuff. He'd always wanted a cape! OH WAIT! Did this mean he also got to wear The Hat!?
"Did you bring your hat!?" Patton was practically bouncing on his heels.
"Obviously. You'd look weird without it." Janus said, gently pulling his hat out of his bag. As he watched Patton's eyes beam with excitement, he held it close to him hesitantly.
"Oooh!!! Wow! I am SO EXCITED for that hat!" Patton did a little clap with his hands.
"Now now, hold on Patton. You have to promise me you'll take good care of it." Janus wagged a finger. "I've had this hat for years and you'll notice it's in good condition. I'd like to keep it that way."
Patton put his hand over his heart. "I promise I won't let anything happen to that hat!"
"You swear?" Janus asked.
"No? I don't like to swear really it's just not- oh wait yeah yeah I swear I won't let anything bad happen to your hat!" Patton said quickly.
"Okay. Here." Janus gave him a curt smile, and gently passed the hand over.
Patton took the hat and held it like it was a baby. Oh man this was a big day for him. He was so excited to wear this hat.
"Big moment, isn't it?" Janus obviously noticed how badly Patton was basically drooling over this thing. He found it charming, but with everything else Patton did, slightly annoying.
"Oh my gosh yeah! Your hat is so cool and it looks so good on you! I'm so excited to try it out!" Patton hugged it to himself. He looked up at Janus and smiled. "Woah, are you okay?"
Janus was red in the face. He forgot just exactly how naive Patton truly was. He wasn't expecting his passive aggressive comment to be handed back to him in the form of not one but two whole compliments. If he wasn't so out of his element right now, hiding his flustering emotions would have been so much easier.
...Patton thought his hat was cool???
"Go... go get dressed." Janus's eyebrow twitched. Oh yeah he had two of those now.
"Okay!" Patton said and toddled off to the bathroom.
Patton's excitement was concerning to Janus. For someone who was so adamant about their friends not finding out about a potentially life altering dilemma, he seemed a bit too excited. Patton obviously wasn't telling him everything he was letting on. Janus couldn't decide whether he was lying, or just blatantly not ready to talk about it. Either way, Patton's sunny disposition had been haphazardly tossed into his own body, and it made him stand him out. Janus was going to have too dampen that playful spirit before he gave them both away.
Janus slipped Patton's shirt over his head, careful to keep his eyes shut. He couldn't stand to look at Patton's body. It was partially out of respect, but also because just because he was afraid it would make him panic more. Ah yes, this weird panic he was having. Janus had never been a panicky person, high stress sure, but never panicky. Not like this anyway. He had only seen his reflection twice since this happened, and each time it made him feel worse. Mentally, he had grasped that he was alive, safe, and in a corporeal form. Janus was having a hard time accepting that it wasn't HIS corporeal form though. Knowing here was no way to fix it by himself, he was trying to reason with his own mind, telling it what ever lies and affirmations he thought it needed to hear. The lies didn't make it any easier on him as he felt his scaleless, clammy hands pull a blue shirt down over his head and begin to stuff it into his pants.
"I'm back!" Patton announced to his left, making him jump a little. "Oooohhhhhhhh you look so cute!!!"
"Patton, I am not cute." Janus said, tying the correct cardigan around his shoulders.
"Janus you are literally wearing my clothes and you look adorable." Patton did a little clap through gloved hands.
"And you are literally wearing my flesh and you look reprehensible." Janus snapped back a little.
"ah see that's how I know you're lying! Cause you said yourself that you are loveable earlier!" Patton whined.
Damnit. He'd been out done by Patton on that one.
"Oh. I think you may be right actually. Silly me." Janus smiled. "I was talking about your personality. How do you intend on deceiving your friends when you don't act like me?"
"Tsss. Yeesh." Patton rubbed the back of his neck. "when you put it like that, it sounds really...bad."
Janus's eyebrow twitched. He had technically lived as Morality before all this, so at least he knew what to expect. However, Patton had never lived as Deceit, and Janus quickly realized that watching Morality squirm in his own body was going to be... interesting. Entertaining? Perhaps..
"Well get used to it. You're me now. I'm not all sunshine and rainbows." Janus said. "You need to make a choice Patton. Get with it, or get comfortable telling your friends the truth. I have absolutely no problem marching out there right now and telling everyone how we got into the situation." He shot a look at Patton, who's lips curled down into a slightly shamed frown.
"No no no please they can't know!" Patton held clasped hands to his chest. Almost begging.
"Fine. But we are talking about that later." Janus wagged a finger between them. Patton whined and tapped his foot. "Give me your best me impression."
"uuuhhhhhhmmmmmm you want me to do a you impression?" Patton dug his heel into the carpet.
"Did I stutter?" Janus quirked a brow.
"No- but like-" Patton rubbed his neck with a gloved hand. "I'm not really the actor-y type. Never been too good at it."
"Too bad. You're deceit now." Janus crossed his arms. "convince me. I want it to be like I'm looking in a mirror."
Patton could have gulped. He'd never perceived Janus as...so demanding. He felt like his life was on the line. Patton started to awkwardly fiddle with his glove, earning a quicked brow from Janus.
"Uhh- h-hey! I'm J-Janus- look see-" Patton put a bare hand up to display his honesty. It was the wrong hand. "See I'm telling the truth right here! See and oh uh- I'm so sneaky and devious and I have cool looking teeth and-"
Janus sat back and watched Patton unfurl into this...crude display. If the tension wasn't so high, he might have found this nearly offensive mock on his character kinda funny.
"Patton, I mean this in the politest way possible, shut up." Janus waved his hand, probably intending to silence him. Although he didn't have the powers anymore, Patton immediately shut his mouth at the wave of Janus's hand.
"For whatever reason you're trying to hide this from your friends, with that acting this facade won't last long. You might as well lie to them and come up with an excuse to not talk to them should they approach you." Janus said. He frowned suddenly. "Which won't be an issue, actually...your friends don't really approach me."
"Oh uhm...good...?" Patton wasn't too sure how to react to that. "How um...how do you think you'll do when they approach you?"
"Oh pfft I've got this you thing in the bag." Janus scoffed. "I suppose you could say I have experience." He smiled. "Being you that one time and all."
"Hey yeah! And this time you actually have the right shirt!" Patton cheered him on. Or at least meant too. Janus visibly blushed in shame at his own sloppiness.
"Indeed." Janus's eyebrow quirked. "What's the sleeping arrangements?"
"Well, I have a bed and a couch." Patton shrugged. "You can take what you want."
"Couch." Janus said before picking up his duffle bag and placing it on the ground. "We need to talk temperatures. Your body doesn't produce any heat, so you'll need to rely on external heat sources. Heater blankets, heat pads, anything you have to help keep your body warm while you sleep. You need to keep it above 90, otherwise you'll get lethargic."
"Lethargic?" Patton asked, a slight lisp due to his new fangs.
"Yes, lethargic. It's when your body gets too cold and you get sluggish and tired." Janus said, tossing couch pillows around to make the couch more comfy. "Also, lock your door."
"Oh yeah! Good idea!" Patton bit his lip. "I mean...yeah no I should probably lock it..."
"You seem hesitant." Janus asked, flopping down onto the couch. He was...tired. Exhausted, actually. He wanted to sleep now and then get up and deal with all this bullshit later...but not after some slight digging and emotional manipulation into Patton's brain. "Why? Your friends still come visit you sometimes?" Mmmmm came off a bit mean. Janus would need to work on that. This was Patton after all, and Patton didn't do well with harshness. Ahhhh, at the end of the day, it was still him.
"I mean..." Patton picked at his gloves. "No...not as often as they used too..." He looked at his shoes. "Actually...you're the first guest I've had in... quite a while."
Janus could have cried. God damnit why was Patton so damn pitiful sometimes?!
"Ah...I see. And do you usually keep it unlocked so they can just come in whenever they want?" Janus asked.
"Yeah, actually. I try to make this sort of a safe space for them. Just someplace that they can come and just relax for a minute...they haven't been showing up like they used too but still, I don't want them to think I'm shutting them out.." Patton said.
Janus, oh so desperately, wanted to be mean. The little mean voice in his head was absolutely foaming at the mouth here. He wanted to just say fuck 'em and get up and lock the door for Patton himself. Janus had no clue what the hell was going on between Patton and his friends, and the truth was he didn't really care. But whatever it was was clearly tearing Patton up inside. If Janus wanted to fix this situation, he knew that he couldn't have Patton dragging his own weight because he was too busy dealing with personal drama. The door had to be locked.
"Okay. So, hear me out. Next time I see them, as you, I'll tell them that I'm redoing the room and I'm gonna be locking my door." Janus offered.
"But, what if they ask if I need help? Roman will most likely ask." Patton said.
"I'll tell him no. I'll say....it's like for personal or meditative reasons and I'd rather be left alone, unbothered. If they wanna talk, they can summon me or knock on the door." Janus shrugged. "Or! Or! Even better!" Janus threw his hands up. "They can summon me into the damn common room."
"Do you...do you think that'll work?" Patton asked. He wasn't too sure how keen he was with Janus lying to his friends, but they really didn't have any better options...
This whole thing was, for lack of better words, a shit show. Patton knew that. He wasn't too sure how long this was going to last really, or even how long it was going to take to fix this problem. He already missed his friends, but the idea of getting them involved...made him feel like such a burden.
"Mm. I would hope so. Unless one of them is having like a life threatening crisis, I doubt that they will come banging at the door." Janus waved his hand.
"Yeah...yeah you're right..." Patton said, walking to his kitchen.
"....Hey," Janus said. He could tell the weight of the situation was starting to weigh in on Patton. "Look at this as an opportunity. You get to take a break."
"A break?" Patton asked, reaching for some snack crackers he had in his cupboard.
"Indeed. A mental health break. You turned into a giant frog a few weeks ago. Take a break from doing anything, let me handle everything, and we should be back in our bodies in no time."
"That...that isn't fair to you though." Patton pointed out.
"You are right, it isn't. But you have been dealing with too much lately. Between your friend drama, and your job as Morality, you have been over tasked. Just relax and for once, just be selfish. You're me, no one will give you shit for it." Janus said.
"I mean...you're right but, I don't want to entirely check out. I actually enjoy my job quite a bit." Patton said. "Is there anyway I can help?"
"Yes actually. If you're actually interested in keeping your friends in the dark on this situation, stay out of sight. Out of sight, out of mind." Janus said.
Ooooohhh this was gonna be hard. Patton loved his friends. Yes they were in a rough patch, but that's normal! Real friends face trials and tribulations and always come out stronger than ever... Patton still felt guilty, thrusting Janus at the forefront of his drama. He wondered if Janus had ever dealt with this sort of thing. Not to sound mean or anything of course, and he was fully aware of his relationship with Virgil, but Janus didn't seem like a social person. In fact, he hadn't even really seen him hang out with any of the other sides before. Like, ever. Patton genuinely couldn't imagine Janus just sitting down and having a dinner or a nice conversation with, well, anyone. The only sides he could imagine Janus hanging around with was...
"Hey, what about Remus? I'm not sure what you're guy's relationship is, but will he be okay? Like, do you guys talk at all or-" Patton asked.
Janus almost jumped out of his skin. Fucking Christ he forgot about Remus. He forgot to weigh Remus into this entire situation. Janus shot up from the couch with such speed and velocity, he took the couch cushions with him.
"WE CANNOT LET HIM FIND OUT ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON!" Janus said, frantically.
Patton shot his hands up. "woah woah woah okay buddy okay calm down! I didn't want to get Remus involved-"
Janus lunged over the couch, effortlessly avoiding the couch cushions, and nearly through himself over the kitchen counter. He leaned his whole body over the counter, and slammed his hand over Patton's scaley mouth.
"SHHHHHH! Don't say his name!" Janus put a finger over his own mouth. "He is intrusive thoughts! He can be summoned by just thinking about him! Best not to invite him and then he see this mess! If you want this to stay a secret, DONT. GET. HIM. INVOLVED."
Janus's looked into Patton's eyes. Patton's snake eye had become wide, almost a perfect circle. Janus yanked his hand back and tried to flap imaginary filth off.
"Ew Patton don't look at me with those big eyes it's weird-" Janus stuck his tongue out.
"Nooooo come back! You're hand was SO WARM!' Patton leaned forward at him, trying to get some of the heat back.
Janus hissed- or at least tried too. A throat full of spit mostly came up, causing Janus to choke a little. Hissing was so weird with Patton's human teeth. Janus wasn't sure how Virgil managed. A knock on the door made both of them jolt. Janus looked at Patton, panic ridden in his face. Patton looked back at him, just as nervous. Two more soft yet oddly firm knocks followed after. Patton mouthed 'Logan' at Janus, who didn't relax. Logan was the least of his worries, but Janus knew that Logan was attentive. Consistent. Also not on super good terms with him right now and is probably looking out for deceitful hijinks.
"Patton? Is everything alright?" Logan said from behind the door. "I thought I heard screaming."
Patton harshly smacked Janus's shoulder. Janus snapped his head at him, slight notes of anger in his eyes. Patton mouthed, "Do something!"
"Oh I'll do something alright...." Janus said through grit teeth. "Get down!"
Patton nodded quickly and crouched down. Janus waited until he heard soft hands smacking on the floor. As Patton's pitter patterning on the ground softened, Janus strode to the door.
Deep breaths.
Janus wasn't going to screw this one up. Not for Patton, but mostly for himself. He was able to fool Logan as Patton before, but his performance was sloppy at best. There was no room to mess this up. Janus took a deep breath, as if he was calling on the forces of all things fluffy and soft to guide his actions. Janus opened the door, Patton's smile plastered so painfully onto his face.
"Yeah of course! Everything is fine!" Janus leaned into the door way, almost as if to cement himself to that point. "Why do you ask?"
"I was wondering if you were hurt. I could have swore I heard screaming." Logan pushed his glasses up his nose. "As I recall, this was your first time getting discorporated. The process can be a bit stressful."
'Patton', gave Logan a confused look. "First time getting discorporated? Psh what do you- OH YEAH!" Janus, having been around Remus for so long, had completely forgotten that some sides just simply haven't discorporated before. He was so used to the peaceful but terrifying void being nonexistent that he couldn't seem to fathom not being discorporated ever. Like this was a usual occurrence for some sides, but not Patton apparently. "Yeah! Yeah it sure was a uh....an experience ahahaha." He laughed, maybe a tad bit too nervously.
Logan's movements were small. Never really noticable unless you were paying attention to him, which most sides didn't. But Janus was. Janus did infact catch onto the small, miniscule, barely noticeable eye twitch. Logan knew something was up and Janus could tell.
"...Welllllll anywaaaayyyyyyy I have some coping to do! Being discorporated really takes it out of you hahahaha." Janus slowly started to inch the door closed. "Goodbye Logan..."
"Mm. I'll see you later-," Logan pushed up his glasses again, this time making sure that he made direct eye contact with 'Patton' while he did it. "-Patton."
And with that, Janus shut the door, locking it. He turned and pressed his back into the wood and slid all the way down to the ground, exhaling nervously. Patton rose up from the kitchen.
"Hey! Great job! No wonder it took them so long to figure out it was you last time!" Patton gave him an affirmative thumbs up. "Goodness gracious Janus, you really are a fantastic me impersonator after all."
Janus looked at Patton. Patton was so...so...naive. So painfully kind. What kind of person would compliment the one who stole their identity in such a manner? Who stole their face, their clothes, their voice, and deceived and beguiled their friends? Who only but Patton. Kind, gentle, naive Patton. Janus felt sorry for him in a pitiful way, but didn't come as any surprise. Only Patton would commend someone on a job well done for stealing his face. Janus could have sobbed at the idea. He was going to have to nurture some abrasiveness into Patton.
"Thank you." Janus sighed out and relaxed. "I...I worked hard on it."
"Wow really??? Cause you're a natural!" Patton complimented again.
Janus sucked on his lower lip a little, disappointed to not feel a pair of fangs. Sucking on his fangs had become sort of a nervous tick for him.
"You are a hard fellow to impersonate. You should be proud of that." Janus said.
"I am?" Patton asked. "What is so hard about me?"
Janus looked at him. He plastered the most forced, painfully wide, and toothy smile I could. "Your bubbly and zany personality. It's tiring." He rubbed his face, as if to wipe the smile away. "Honestly, I don't know how you do it."
Patton smiled sheepishly, a quant blush spreading on his newly scaled cheeks.
"Oh...yeah hahaha. It certainly can get...tiring sometimes." Then he paused "...is it annoying?"
Janus looked at him again. It was his body, but the way Janus could tell he was shuffling his heels and aimlessly looking down at the floor was an unmistakable Patton thing to do. Janus sighed, and remembered who he was dealing with. Patton couldn't take abrasiveness all the time after all.
"No Patton. You aren't annoying." Janus said, which made Patton look up at him. "I think that...your personality is distinctly you, and you aren't annoying. You are just doing your best."
A tiny smile grew on Patton's face. It was genuine, both the smile and Janus's comment. Patton believed Janus's words. He wasn't sure if he believed them because he was in his body, or because he wanted to think Janus was being really honest, but he believed them nonetheless. To think that Janus was incapable of honesty was a root of their problem after all, and overcoming it meant greater steps towards helping Thomas.
"Thanks, Janus." Patton said to him gently, earning a side eye look from Janus. "I appreciate that."
A/n: ey sorry this took me so long I got a job and also school - you get the drill.
Summary:(Canon-verse) A freak accident leaves the all encompassing moral compass in shambles. Patton and Janus have been side swapped; switched into each other's bodies with almost no idea how to switch back. Forced to live each other's daily life, the two sides must figure out how to switch back without raising suspicion.
Warnings: Swearing, light slapping, some light manipulation, heavy themes of derealization and dissociation
<- First Chapter
<- Previous Chapter
Next Chapter ->
__________________
Chapter 4: Body switchin' blues
Patton couldn't believe how well he was taking this change. He was sort of self aware of his own emotions, and he knew that something as dire as of a situation as switching bodies should have had him in hysterics right about now. But he wasn't? He felt calm, walking side by side with his own body as it complained about how weird rising up was. Patton decided to take advantage of this sudden confidence in the situation, and just relax. At least it was Janus in his body and not someone else? Not that any of his friends weren't worthy or good enough to puppet his humble little corporeal form or anything, it's just at least Janus knew what Patton was about. If it wasn't Janus, Patton also wouldn't mind Logan. He personally thought that Logan would make a great Patton with all the puns he knew.
Meanwhile, Janus was kinda freaking out. He found out that staying angry was way more tiring in Patton's body, and couldn't keep a hold of that internal rage for very long. He kept clenching his fist, expecting to feel his hands in a pair of insulated gloves only to feel warm exposed flesh. Scaleless, warm blood filled, soft hands clenched so tightly his nails dug into his skin. Looking in front of him and seeing his body lead him through the dwelling space of the sides Thomas held closest to his heart was seriously messing with his head. Janus couldn't figure out what about the situation was more anxiety inducing. Was it the fact that he honestly had no idea how to fix this situation, or was it because he had lost all of the comforts and feeling of security that being deceit had brought him.
"...Hey Patton?" Janus asked.
"Hmm yeah?" Patton glanced at him and smiled as he lead Janus to his room.
"...what color is your shirt?" Janus picked at the side of Patton's shirt, rubbing the cotton between his fingers. Patton didn't seem to notice him plucking at his clothes.
"Red." Patton answered. Confidently. Janus almost believed that this shirt had been red for the entirety of Patton's life.
They kept walking until they reached Patton's room. No one had been out in the living room, so they didn't have to worry about anyone seeing them...for now. Patton opened the door for Janus, who noticed very quickly that Patton didn't lock his door.
"After you~" Patton said.
Janus rolled his eyes and stepped in. He walked towards the couch and gently placed his stuff on it, Patton following soon after.
"Patton the shirt is blue." Janus said.
"I know that silly. That's like, my favorite shirt." Patton giggled. "Worn it for years."
"You said it was red." Janus couldn't help but smile a little. "Liar."
Janus watched Patton's expression basically explode. Not so cool anymore huh Pat?
"I...I said red?" Patton asked.
"Yes indeed." Janus said. "Did you mean to say red?"
"I honestly thought I said blue, so no I didn't." Patton's eyes worried. Janus watched him rub his finger tips over the scales that coated his hands.
"You need to be more aware of yourself and what is going on around you. Speak with intention. Speaking without intention or conscious note of what is coming out of your mouth is dangerous." Janus came over and pinched his cheeks again. "Especially for someone with such a loveable face like mine~"
"Heeeyyyyy I think your face is very loveable!" Patton said through squished cheeks.
"I wasn't being self deprecating." Janus dawned a grin, and watched Patton internally spiral into guilt.
Janus shrugged and dropped his face. He stepped away from Patton to take in the room. He'd never actually...been inside Patton's room. To be here in Moralitie's room from his perspective was...way more underwhelming than he had imagined. The first thing he noticed was that it was kinda cluttered. Like it wasn't messy, there was just a lot of stuff in here. There was also a light coming in from a window, bringing a warm glow of gentle yellow light into the room. Where the light was coming from Janus didn't care to know. The ever changing pictures on the walls were also tripping him out; why Patton had so many pictures of Thomas's friends was beyond him. Janus also noticed that the couch was home to what had to be decades of lost stuffed animals from what could only be Thomas's childhood, as well as other toys lost by the other sides over the years. The most atrocious thing about this room in Janus's professional opinion was the curtain choice. Yes, Janus decided. This place was in fact one of the circles of hell.
"Hey Jan, here. Might want to put these on." Janus heard Patton behind him. He stopped looking around and turned to Patton, who was holding out a set of clothes to him.
Janus eyed them. Eugh, he hated the color blue... He took them gently from Patton, careful not to wrinkle anything. Patton personally thought that his gentleness was sweet. Watching Janus hold his clothes so softly was something that Patton felt like he wasn't supposed to see. Janus set the clothes down to the side and opened his own duffle bag.
"Aren't you cold?" Janus asked.
"Freezing actually." Patton said, allowing himself to finally shiver a little. "Goodness gracious I am so sorry Janus it's freezing in here I'll go turn on the heat-"
"Don't worry about me. You're cold blooded now." Janus said, pulling an outfit out for Patton. "Unfortunately my dear, I don't think a pollo shirt is going to cut it. Here." He held out some clothes to Patton, a pair of yellow gloves gently folded on top. "You'll need something thicker."
Patton gasped slightly in awe. "I get to wear a cape! I've always wanted to wear a cape!" He took the layers of clothing with as much gentleness as Janus took his own. Oh man as scary as the situation was boy oh boy did it come with cool stuff. He'd always wanted a cape! OH WAIT! Did this mean he also got to wear The Hat!?
"Did you bring your hat!?" Patton was practically bouncing on his heels.
"Obviously. You'd look weird without it." Janus said, gently pulling his hat out of his bag. As he watched Patton's eyes beam with excitement, he held it close to him hesitantly.
"Oooh!!! Wow! I am SO EXCITED for that hat!" Patton did a little clap with his hands.
"Now now, hold on Patton. You have to promise me you'll take good care of it." Janus wagged a finger. "I've had this hat for years and you'll notice it's in good condition. I'd like to keep it that way."
Patton put his hand over his heart. "I promise I won't let anything happen to that hat!"
"You swear?" Janus asked.
"No? I don't like to swear really it's just not- oh wait yeah yeah I swear I won't let anything bad happen to your hat!" Patton said quickly.
"Okay. Here." Janus gave him a curt smile, and gently passed the hand over.
Patton took the hat and held it like it was a baby. Oh man this was a big day for him. He was so excited to wear this hat.
"Big moment, isn't it?" Janus obviously noticed how badly Patton was basically drooling over this thing. He found it charming, but with everything else Patton did, slightly annoying.
"Oh my gosh yeah! Your hat is so cool and it looks so good on you! I'm so excited to try it out!" Patton hugged it to himself. He looked up at Janus and smiled. "Woah, are you okay?"
Janus was red in the face. He forgot just exactly how naive Patton truly was. He wasn't expecting his passive aggressive comment to be handed back to him in the form of not one but two whole compliments. If he wasn't so out of his element right now, hiding his flustering emotions would have been so much easier.
...Patton thought his hat was cool???
"Go... go get dressed." Janus's eyebrow twitched. Oh yeah he had two of those now.
"Okay!" Patton said and toddled off to the bathroom.
Patton's excitement was concerning to Janus. For someone who was so adamant about their friends not finding out about a potentially life altering dilemma, he seemed a bit too excited. Patton obviously wasn't telling him everything he was letting on. Janus couldn't decide whether he was lying, or just blatantly not ready to talk about it. Either way, Patton's sunny disposition had been haphazardly tossed into his own body, and it made him stand him out. Janus was going to have too dampen that playful spirit before he gave them both away.
Janus slipped Patton's shirt over his head, careful to keep his eyes shut. He couldn't stand to look at Patton's body. It was partially out of respect, but also because just because he was afraid it would make him panic more. Ah yes, this weird panic he was having. Janus had never been a panicky person, high stress sure, but never panicky. Not like this anyway. He had only seen his reflection twice since this happened, and each time it made him feel worse. Mentally, he had grasped that he was alive, safe, and in a corporeal form. Janus was having a hard time accepting that it wasn't HIS corporeal form though. Knowing here was no way to fix it by himself, he was trying to reason with his own mind, telling it what ever lies and affirmations he thought it needed to hear. The lies didn't make it any easier on him as he felt his scaleless, clammy hands pull a blue shirt down over his head and begin to stuff it into his pants.
"I'm back!" Patton announced to his left, making him jump a little. "Oooohhhhhhhh you look so cute!!!"
"Patton, I am not cute." Janus said, tying the correct cardigan around his shoulders.
"Janus you are literally wearing my clothes and you look adorable." Patton did a little clap through gloved hands.
"And you are literally wearing my flesh and you look reprehensible." Janus snapped back a little.
"ah see that's how I know you're lying! Cause you said yourself that you are loveable earlier!" Patton whined.
Damnit. He'd been out done by Patton on that one.
"Oh. I think you may be right actually. Silly me." Janus smiled. "I was talking about your personality. How do you intend on deceiving your friends when you don't act like me?"
"Tsss. Yeesh." Patton rubbed the back of his neck. "when you put it like that, it sounds really...bad."
Janus's eyebrow twitched. He had technically lived as Morality before all this, so at least he knew what to expect. However, Patton had never lived as Deceit, and Janus quickly realized that watching Morality squirm in his own body was going to be... interesting. Entertaining? Perhaps..
"Well get used to it. You're me now. I'm not all sunshine and rainbows." Janus said. "You need to make a choice Patton. Get with it, or get comfortable telling your friends the truth. I have absolutely no problem marching out there right now and telling everyone how we got into the situation." He shot a look at Patton, who's lips curled down into a slightly shamed frown.
"No no no please they can't know!" Patton held clasped hands to his chest. Almost begging.
"Fine. But we are talking about that later." Janus wagged a finger between them. Patton whined and tapped his foot. "Give me your best me impression."
"uuuhhhhhhmmmmmm you want me to do a you impression?" Patton dug his heel into the carpet.
"Did I stutter?" Janus quirked a brow.
"No- but like-" Patton rubbed his neck with a gloved hand. "I'm not really the actor-y type. Never been too good at it."
"Too bad. You're deceit now." Janus crossed his arms. "convince me. I want it to be like I'm looking in a mirror."
Patton could have gulped. He'd never perceived Janus as...so demanding. He felt like his life was on the line. Patton started to awkwardly fiddle with his glove, earning a quicked brow from Janus.
"Uhh- h-hey! I'm J-Janus- look see-" Patton put a bare hand up to display his honesty. It was the wrong hand. "See I'm telling the truth right here! See and oh uh- I'm so sneaky and devious and I have cool looking teeth and-"
Janus sat back and watched Patton unfurl into this...crude display. If the tension wasn't so high, he might have found this nearly offensive mock on his character kinda funny.
"Patton, I mean this in the politest way possible, shut up." Janus waved his hand, probably intending to silence him. Although he didn't have the powers anymore, Patton immediately shut his mouth at the wave of Janus's hand.
"For whatever reason you're trying to hide this from your friends, with that acting this facade won't last long. You might as well lie to them and come up with an excuse to not talk to them should they approach you." Janus said. He frowned suddenly. "Which won't be an issue, actually...your friends don't really approach me."
"Oh uhm...good...?" Patton wasn't too sure how to react to that. "How um...how do you think you'll do when they approach you?"
"Oh pfft I've got this you thing in the bag." Janus scoffed. "I suppose you could say I have experience." He smiled. "Being you that one time and all."
"Hey yeah! And this time you actually have the right shirt!" Patton cheered him on. Or at least meant too. Janus visibly blushed in shame at his own sloppiness.
"Indeed." Janus's eyebrow quirked. "What's the sleeping arrangements?"
"Well, I have a bed and a couch." Patton shrugged. "You can take what you want."
"Couch." Janus said before picking up his duffle bag and placing it on the ground. "We need to talk temperatures. Your body doesn't produce any heat, so you'll need to rely on external heat sources. Heater blankets, heat pads, anything you have to help keep your body warm while you sleep. You need to keep it above 90, otherwise you'll get lethargic."
"Lethargic?" Patton asked, a slight lisp due to his new fangs.
"Yes, lethargic. It's when your body gets too cold and you get sluggish and tired." Janus said, tossing couch pillows around to make the couch more comfy. "Also, lock your door."
"Oh yeah! Good idea!" Patton bit his lip. "I mean...yeah no I should probably lock it..."
"You seem hesitant." Janus asked, flopping down onto the couch. He was...tired. Exhausted, actually. He wanted to sleep now and then get up and deal with all this bullshit later...but not after some slight digging and emotional manipulation into Patton's brain. "Why? Your friends still come visit you sometimes?" Mmmmm came off a bit mean. Janus would need to work on that. This was Patton after all, and Patton didn't do well with harshness. Ahhhh, at the end of the day, it was still him.
"I mean..." Patton picked at his gloves. "No...not as often as they used too..." He looked at his shoes. "Actually...you're the first guest I've had in... quite a while."
Janus could have cried. God damnit why was Patton so damn pitiful sometimes?!
"Ah...I see. And do you usually keep it unlocked so they can just come in whenever they want?" Janus asked.
"Yeah, actually. I try to make this sort of a safe space for them. Just someplace that they can come and just relax for a minute...they haven't been showing up like they used too but still, I don't want them to think I'm shutting them out.." Patton said.
Janus, oh so desperately, wanted to be mean. The little mean voice in his head was absolutely foaming at the mouth here. He wanted to just say fuck 'em and get up and lock the door for Patton himself. Janus had no clue what the hell was going on between Patton and his friends, and the truth was he didn't really care. But whatever it was was clearly tearing Patton up inside. If Janus wanted to fix this situation, he knew that he couldn't have Patton dragging his own weight because he was too busy dealing with personal drama. The door had to be locked.
"Okay. So, hear me out. Next time I see them, as you, I'll tell them that I'm redoing the room and I'm gonna be locking my door." Janus offered.
"But, what if they ask if I need help? Roman will most likely ask." Patton said.
"I'll tell him no. I'll say....it's like for personal or meditative reasons and I'd rather be left alone, unbothered. If they wanna talk, they can summon me or knock on the door." Janus shrugged. "Or! Or! Even better!" Janus threw his hands up. "They can summon me into the damn common room."
"Do you...do you think that'll work?" Patton asked. He wasn't too sure how keen he was with Janus lying to his friends, but they really didn't have any better options...
This whole thing was, for lack of better words, a shit show. Patton knew that. He wasn't too sure how long this was going to last really, or even how long it was going to take to fix this problem. He already missed his friends, but the idea of getting them involved...made him feel like such a burden.
"Mm. I would hope so. Unless one of them is having like a life threatening crisis, I doubt that they will come banging at the door." Janus waved his hand.
"Yeah...yeah you're right..." Patton said, walking to his kitchen.
"....Hey," Janus said. He could tell the weight of the situation was starting to weigh in on Patton. "Look at this as an opportunity. You get to take a break."
"A break?" Patton asked, reaching for some snack crackers he had in his cupboard.
"Indeed. A mental health break. You turned into a giant frog a few weeks ago. Take a break from doing anything, let me handle everything, and we should be back in our bodies in no time."
"That...that isn't fair to you though." Patton pointed out.
"You are right, it isn't. But you have been dealing with too much lately. Between your friend drama, and your job as Morality, you have been over tasked. Just relax and for once, just be selfish. You're me, no one will give you shit for it." Janus said.
"I mean...you're right but, I don't want to entirely check out. I actually enjoy my job quite a bit." Patton said. "Is there anyway I can help?"
"Yes actually. If you're actually interested in keeping your friends in the dark on this situation, stay out of sight. Out of sight, out of mind." Janus said.
Ooooohhh this was gonna be hard. Patton loved his friends. Yes they were in a rough patch, but that's normal! Real friends face trials and tribulations and always come out stronger than ever... Patton still felt guilty, thrusting Janus at the forefront of his drama. He wondered if Janus had ever dealt with this sort of thing. Not to sound mean or anything of course, and he was fully aware of his relationship with Virgil, but Janus didn't seem like a social person. In fact, he hadn't even really seen him hang out with any of the other sides before. Like, ever. Patton genuinely couldn't imagine Janus just sitting down and having a dinner or a nice conversation with, well, anyone. The only sides he could imagine Janus hanging around with was...
"Hey, what about Remus? I'm not sure what you're guy's relationship is, but will he be okay? Like, do you guys talk at all or-" Patton asked.
Janus almost jumped out of his skin. Fucking Christ he forgot about Remus. He forgot to weigh Remus into this entire situation. Janus shot up from the couch with such speed and velocity, he took the couch cushions with him.
"WE CANNOT LET HIM FIND OUT ABOUT WHAT'S GOING ON!" Janus said, frantically.
Patton shot his hands up. "woah woah woah okay buddy okay calm down! I didn't want to get Remus involved-"
Janus lunged over the couch, effortlessly avoiding the couch cushions, and nearly through himself over the kitchen counter. He leaned his whole body over the counter, and slammed his hand over Patton's scaley mouth.
"SHHHHHH! Don't say his name!" Janus put a finger over his own mouth. "He is intrusive thoughts! He can be summoned by just thinking about him! Best not to invite him and then he see this mess! If you want this to stay a secret, DONT. GET. HIM. INVOLVED."
Janus's looked into Patton's eyes. Patton's snake eye had become wide, almost a perfect circle. Janus yanked his hand back and tried to flap imaginary filth off.
"Ew Patton don't look at me with those big eyes it's weird-" Janus stuck his tongue out.
"Nooooo come back! You're hand was SO WARM!' Patton leaned forward at him, trying to get some of the heat back.
Janus hissed- or at least tried too. A throat full of spit mostly came up, causing Janus to choke a little. Hissing was so weird with Patton's human teeth. Janus wasn't sure how Virgil managed. A knock on the door made both of them jolt. Janus looked at Patton, panic ridden in his face. Patton looked back at him, just as nervous. Two more soft yet oddly firm knocks followed after. Patton mouthed 'Logan' at Janus, who didn't relax. Logan was the least of his worries, but Janus knew that Logan was attentive. Consistent. Also not on super good terms with him right now and is probably looking out for deceitful hijinks.
"Patton? Is everything alright?" Logan said from behind the door. "I thought I heard screaming."
Patton harshly smacked Janus's shoulder. Janus snapped his head at him, slight notes of anger in his eyes. Patton mouthed, "Do something!"
"Oh I'll do something alright...." Janus said through grit teeth. "Get down!"
Patton nodded quickly and crouched down. Janus waited until he heard soft hands smacking on the floor. As Patton's pitter patterning on the ground softened, Janus strode to the door.
Deep breaths.
Janus wasn't going to screw this one up. Not for Patton, but mostly for himself. He was able to fool Logan as Patton before, but his performance was sloppy at best. There was no room to mess this up. Janus took a deep breath, as if he was calling on the forces of all things fluffy and soft to guide his actions. Janus opened the door, Patton's smile plastered so painfully onto his face.
"Yeah of course! Everything is fine!" Janus leaned into the door way, almost as if to cement himself to that point. "Why do you ask?"
"I was wondering if you were hurt. I could have swore I heard screaming." Logan pushed his glasses up his nose. "As I recall, this was your first time getting discorporated. The process can be a bit stressful."
'Patton', gave Logan a confused look. "First time getting discorporated? Psh what do you- OH YEAH!" Janus, having been around Remus for so long, had completely forgotten that some sides just simply haven't discorporated before. He was so used to the peaceful but terrifying void being nonexistent that he couldn't seem to fathom not being discorporated ever. Like this was a usual occurrence for some sides, but not Patton apparently. "Yeah! Yeah it sure was a uh....an experience ahahaha." He laughed, maybe a tad bit too nervously.
Logan's movements were small. Never really noticable unless you were paying attention to him, which most sides didn't. But Janus was. Janus did infact catch onto the small, miniscule, barely noticeable eye twitch. Logan knew something was up and Janus could tell.
"...Welllllll anywaaaayyyyyyy I have some coping to do! Being discorporated really takes it out of you hahahaha." Janus slowly started to inch the door closed. "Goodbye Logan..."
"Mm. I'll see you later-," Logan pushed up his glasses again, this time making sure that he made direct eye contact with 'Patton' while he did it. "-Patton."
And with that, Janus shut the door, locking it. He turned and pressed his back into the wood and slid all the way down to the ground, exhaling nervously. Patton rose up from the kitchen.
"Hey! Great job! No wonder it took them so long to figure out it was you last time!" Patton gave him an affirmative thumbs up. "Goodness gracious Janus, you really are a fantastic me impersonator after all."
Janus looked at Patton. Patton was so...so...naive. So painfully kind. What kind of person would compliment the one who stole their identity in such a manner? Who stole their face, their clothes, their voice, and deceived and beguiled their friends? Who only but Patton. Kind, gentle, naive Patton. Janus felt sorry for him in a pitiful way, but didn't come as any surprise. Only Patton would commend someone on a job well done for stealing his face. Janus could have sobbed at the idea. He was going to have to nurture some abrasiveness into Patton.
"Thank you." Janus sighed out and relaxed. "I...I worked hard on it."
"Wow really??? Cause you're a natural!" Patton complimented again.
Janus sucked on his lower lip a little, disappointed to not feel a pair of fangs. Sucking on his fangs had become sort of a nervous tick for him.
"You are a hard fellow to impersonate. You should be proud of that." Janus said.
"I am?" Patton asked. "What is so hard about me?"
Janus looked at him. He plastered the most forced, painfully wide, and toothy smile I could. "Your bubbly and zany personality. It's tiring." He rubbed his face, as if to wipe the smile away. "Honestly, I don't know how you do it."
Patton smiled sheepishly, a quant blush spreading on his newly scaled cheeks.
"Oh...yeah hahaha. It certainly can get...tiring sometimes." Then he paused "...is it annoying?"
Janus looked at him again. It was his body, but the way Janus could tell he was shuffling his heels and aimlessly looking down at the floor was an unmistakable Patton thing to do. Janus sighed, and remembered who he was dealing with. Patton couldn't take abrasiveness all the time after all.
"No Patton. You aren't annoying." Janus said, which made Patton look up at him. "I think that...your personality is distinctly you, and you aren't annoying. You are just doing your best."
A tiny smile grew on Patton's face. It was genuine, both the smile and Janus's comment. Patton believed Janus's words. He wasn't sure if he believed them because he was in his body, or because he wanted to think Janus was being really honest, but he believed them nonetheless. To think that Janus was incapable of honesty was a root of their problem after all, and overcoming it meant greater steps towards helping Thomas.
"Thanks, Janus." Patton said to him gently, earning a side eye look from Janus. "I appreciate that."
Summary: (Canon-verse) A freak accident leaves the all encompassing moral compass in shambles. Patton and Janus have been side swapped; switched into each other's bodies with almost no idea how to switch back. Forced to live each other's daily life, the two sides must figure out how to switch back without raising suspicion.
Characters: Patton Sanders, Janus Sanders
Warnings for this chapter: Violence, Swearing, Threats of malicious intent, light derealization/dissociation and symptoms there of.
If I left something out, please let me know!
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Chapter 3: These breathing walls
Patton had only ever seen people get thrown around at the wall in the movies. He never really liked seeing it much in the movies either, and he definitely never really understood how much it would actually hurt. So much to his surprise he found it hurt quite a bit. Janus had him slammed against a wall, hands clutched tightly around his shirt collar as his knuckles clenched so hard they had turned white. Patton especially wasn't prepared for the way his head followed his body momentum and the back of it slammed into the wall too. If Janus wasn't so busy shaking him silly he might have gotten time in for a couple tears.
"Listen here, you little shit-" Said Janus, who was in Patton's body. Patton never thought his own face could or would ever make a face as angry as the one that stared back at him. "-if you think this is funny, or if you think this is some kind of clever way to get back at me for that one time I decided to parade around as you, you're wrong. You are so, terribly wrong." Janus's words were harsh. He spoke not with his usual honey words, instead, subtle yet fuming rage. He didn't raise his voice, instead he kept it rather low as he held Patton up by the shirt collar. Patton had to stand on his tippy toes to reach, and since he couldn't wiggle away, Janus had him right where he wanted. There was no escaping Janus's rage. "There will be dire consequences for this act of retaliation, Patton."
"b-but I didn't do this!" Patton stammered out. "At least...at least not on purpose!"
"Don't try to bullshit me, Patton!" Janus spat. "Do you have any idea who the fuck you're talking too!?"
"Hey hey hey woah buddy haha watch your mouth this is supposed to be a pg-13 fand-"
"ENOUGH!" Janus roared. "CHANGE ME BACK! NOW!"
"I don't know how!" Patton yelped. "I didn't do this on purpose!! Really!! I don't even know how this happened!"
Janus's eyes tore into Patton. It may have been Patton's face, but those were unmistakably Janus's eyes. Patton seemed to feel himself shrink. His feet strained and cramped to keep himself balanced under Janus's grasp. Wait a second, if Janus was standing at full height, and Patton had to stand on his tippy toes to even reach Janus's eyes... Was...was...he taller than Janus?
"Am I....am I taller than you?" Patton said to Janus amid his soul tearing, a very small smile forming on his face.
Janus tore his eyes away from dissecting Patton. A look of what Patton assumed was shock took over. Janus had stopped to think; there he was, as Patton, standing full height without so much as bend in his knee, holding his own body up on its toes. The full realization hit Janus, and he suddenly dropped Patton to the floor.
"Do not bring up my height ever again!" Janus roared.
Patton stood up to his feet, wincing and rubbing a spot on his thigh, presumably where all of his body weight seemed to focus in as he fell. Patton had to look up at Janus, despite no longer being forced to do so against his will. He noticed that Janus was wearing his usual outfit with the weird grey shirt thing with the clasps and gloves. Patton had to admit, he looked pretty darn cute in Janus's clothes. There was something missing though...
"You got it boss. I will never bring up your height ever again." Patton put his hand up, swearing on scouts honor...then he smiled.
"what are you smiling about?" Janus said through grit teeth. He radiated tenseness, like a spring ready to explode.
"It's just..." Patton tapped the tips of his nailed fingers together. "You're such a lil fella. Literally how have I never noticed how freaking short you are?? It's so adorable like oh my god you're like a lil bite sized muffin like you're just-" Patton look up at Janus, who was just a few seconds close to discorporating Patton all over again. Patton laughed nervously. "hahaha oookaaayy I'll stop. Whoopsie doodles~..."
Janus glared at him for a minute, then rolled his eyes and walked away. Patton watched him walk back towards the center calamity zone.
"hey hey wait where ya goin'? Weren't you gonna resume interrogating me against my will? You were having so much fun!" Patton ran after Janus.
"No, we are done with that." Janus said. "Obviously you didn't do it, it was foolish of me to assume you were actually competent enough to plot and carry out a revenge plan." He spat.
"Hey I can do anything I set my mind too!" Patton crossed his arms.
"Is shutting up one of those things?" Janus asked.
"Haha now you sound like Virgil! Now I see where he gets his natural spice from." Patton assumed his usual dad stance, shoulders square, hands on hips. The classic.
Janus rolled his eyes and went back to examining the explosion, muttering curses under his breath. Patton had just joined his side. He looked at Janus, who was squinting his eyes. He watched Janus bring a hand up and rub his eyes a bit trying to get them to focus. Janus growled, frustrated.
"I don't think my eyes are done yet." Janus complained as he rubbed his eyes. "I can't see anything aside from shapes and colors."
"oh! Whoops! My bad!" Patton pat his own face. He wasn't wearing his glasses. "hold on I think- think I got em' right here-" he pat down his chest, then his pants pocket. Haha bingo! Patton pulled out his glasses from his side pocket and pulled them out of the case. He handed them to Janus, who looked at them funny.
"....you actually need those to see?" Janus asked.
"well yeah! Do you think I just wear them casually? I mean I do think they look pretty cool because they make me look like Logan, but no yeah I literally cannot see without them." He smiled and wiggled them at Janus.
Janus frowned and took them from Patton. He took them with just enough force to accentuate his distaste, but not harsh enough to say he snatched them away from Patton. He put the glasses on his face and blinked a bit to let his eyes adjust. This was the first time he had been able to see things clearly since he'd been back. Patton watched him take a few steps back a bit as he clearly saw the world around him.
"Wow- Patton you literally are blind." Janus remarked, eyes opening wide as he looked around the room fully. "I thought these were fake. If I wasn't so mad at you I'd apologize for thinking you wore these just for fun."
"Eh don't worry about it." Patton smiled. Truth was it was nice to be able to see without them for a second. "Hey wait a minute, if you could only see colors and shapes, how come you saw me clear enough to slam me into a wall?"
"Sheer unencumbered rage." Janus said, firmly.
"Oh..." Patton said. "Are you...still mad?"
"Very." Janus said, staring into the blackness left over from the explosion.
"Okayyyy noted..." Patton, as subtly as he could, tried to take a few steps away from Janus. He didn't want to get thrown into a wall again.
They both looked at the pitch black blast center. Janus dug the tip of his shoe into he soot. He frowned and got down on his knees. Patton watched him pad around the ground looking for something. His hands and knees turned black as Janus sifted through the remains of his carpets.
"What are you looking for??" Patton asked.
"My staff. If it going unstable switched us around, I'm assuming it can switch us back." Janus asked.
Patton winced slightly. He couldn't help but think about how the staff was supposed to fix the situation. He assumed being exploded again... Patton shivered at the idea, not wanting to relive that out of body experience again.
"well...here is....some of it." Janus stood up, holding up half of a broken Shepard's staff. He examined it closely. Aside from the very splintered and busted half way point, Janus could see individual burn streaks running through the grains of the wood.
"Oh man. That looks pretty severe." Said Patton, who earned himself a harsh side glare from Janus. Patton winced again and shot his eyes to the ceiling. "oh haha...found the other half."
Janus's eyebrow twitched and he looked towards the ceiling. Sure enough, the other half of his Shepard's staff was stuck into the ceiling, large cracks spreading around the staff's point of impact. Janus put a hand over his face and groaned. When this was all over, he was going to get Patton back so hard for this. He wasn't sure just what exactly he was going to do, but since he was trapped in this body he thought he might as well get to scheming. Every second he stood there, his own body in his peripheral vision, Janus couldn't help but feel himself get slightly more upset. It was weird, seeing himself outside of his own body. He hadn't really processed the situation in it's entirety. Ever since he woke up things have been blurry, until now. Honestly, he was far too tired to be angry, but he was worried that if he didn't hold onto his anger he'd start to panic. Anger was an emotion he knew far too much about, but as he stood there in Patton's warm blooded body, it was the only familiar feeling he had. The only feeling that felt even remotely like his. As tiring and self destructive as anger was, it was keeping him grounded. Janus wouldn't give up his anger so easily, no matter how innocent Patton technically was.
Janus snapped his fingers, trying to make the other half of the staff come flying into his hand.
Nothing.
Janus blushed. He snapped, waved, twisted his hand. He twiddled his fingers, stuck his hand into the sky. His staff didn't budge from it's place in the ceiling.
"um...Patton. Can you try snapping your fingers?" Janus asked.
"oh yeah sure!" Patton wasn't sure why. Honestly he wasn't sure why Janus started doing all this goofy stuff with his hand all of a sudden, he wasn't really paying attention. He had been sorta captivated by the growing patch of wall that seemed to be veining up towards the ceiling and repairing himself. To him, I looked like the roots of a plant. But still though, he was in no position to be saying no to Janus, despite how silly the request was. Patton snapped his fingers. The staff became unstuck from the ceiling and it came flying down, smacking Patton incredibly hard in the face.
Janus had to choke back a laugh as Patton screamed a little. He snatched up the rogue staff half as Patton collapsed to his knees holding his face, crying lightly. As Patton swore he'd never take random orders to snap his fingers from anyone again, Janus looked at the sorry state of the other half of his staff. He held his staff, both pieces anyway, in his hand. He frowned slightly. They had been broken and in his own selfish haste he had tried to force them back together, in the process his channeled energy in the staff became unstable...and then...and then...
Oh yes, that whimpering fool came toddling in. Uninvited. Unwanted. Now look at where they were. Janus was quickly reminded of the situation at hand, his rage sparking up again. The worst part was he wasn't even sure if he could fix his staff in this state and still be able to switch them back. He'd have to figure out the extent of his abilities as Deceit in Moralities body. What had to be done wasn't exactly something tedious, but to Janus it was personal. It was his staff, his responsibility, his powers that got out of control. He would fix this.
Somehow.
Janus set the two halves down carefully on the couch and pinched the bridge of his nose.
"First things first. We should tell the others." Janus said. "Get our stories straight. They probably already know that we are both missing, and whatever they believed happened is surly being blamed on-"
"NO NO! WE CANT TELL ANYONE!" Patton jumped to his feet and in Janus's face.
Janus hissed- or at least tried too- and shoved Patton away from him. "AND WHY THE HELL NOT!? Isn't honesty like you're big thing?! We need to tell them other wise they will think I'm the one to blame here!"
"We cannot tell anyone about this!" Patton stated, firmly.
"Because-!..." Patton said through a panicked face. "...because..."
Patton...wasn't too sure actually now that he thought about it. He wasn't sure why he couldn't tell his friends the situation, surely they'd be concerned and wanted to know. But at the same time...they all seemed so...busy. He felt guilty about burdening their lives with his problems... Despite the fact that they had worked on this feeling as group. This was a pretty serious problem though, it would take a bit more than a good talk and some cookies to solve this mess. Patton just felt an overwhelming sense of dread at the idea of bringing them into this. It wasn't guilt it was... something else. He didn't like hiding things from his friends, but lately they had all been so busy. How would he even get them to listen? They had been so caught up in their personal stuff as of late that they missed special breakfast, they must have been way to busy to care about this little mishap. Not to mention that since Janus is technically involved, it would only make things harder. Anything that involved Janus only made things harder... Patton was convinced if he even so much as mentioned Janus to one of the other sides, they wouldn't even listen anyway.
"What? Are you guys like, at odds or something?" Janus asked.
Patton was instantly snapped out of his thoughts. "WHAT!? Hahaha no! Of course we aren't at odds!" Patton waved his hands. "What makes you say that?" He laughed...nervously.
When he saw the look Janus was making with his face, Patton instantly snapped his mouth shut. Janus stared at him, eyelids drooped, brow raised, a single hand on his hip. This was a classic Janus look, but Patton had to say, he had never seen himself look so disappointed.
"Patton. You cannot best me in or outside my body. I know when you're caught up in self denial." Janus rolled his eyes. "You get this funny look on your face." He sighed. "Whatever, anyway we don't have to tell them. But if we aren't telling anyone, we need to stick next to each other."
Patton blushed. "how come?"
"Because you idiot, You're out there parading around in MY body. I will NOT have some little side swapping mishap destroy my carefully curated skin care routine. Since I was discorporated, I'm already a few days behind on my moisturizing treatments." Janus strolled up to Patton, and grabbed his cheeks. He began to stretch and squeeze them as hard as he could. Patton had to stand on his tippy toes again to meet Janus's height. "Not to mention that you don't sound or act like me at all and I have a reputation to uphold. If you don't want your friends to know as desperately as you make it seem, I will not allow you to act out of place."
Patton also didn't know Janus was so particular about his face, or his reputation. Made sense though, Janus had seemed to put in a lot of work upholding the dark and mysterious vibe. Not to mention his skin looked fantastic for a half human. He raised a finger while Janus seemed to work his face. "Do-th thi-th mean weh ge-th th-oo ha-th a sl-eethover?"
Janus dropped Patton's face, and as a result, Patton. Patton stumbled back a little. "My apologies, what did you say?"
Patton rubbed his face and whined slightly. Yeesh Janus had a grip on him. "I wanted to- ss ow- know if this means we get to have a sleepover!" Patton beamed.
"It would appear so yes. I need to keep an eye my on body and make sure it doesn't get- AGH!" Patton ran and through himself onto Janus. The smaller now snake man wrapped his arms around his own body as tight as he could, excitement filling every scale on Patton's body.
"YEEESSS!! SLEEPOVER WITH JANUS!!! OH THIS IS GONNA BE SO FUN!" Patton squealed. "I'll make us snacks and we can watch a movie and OH we can even talk about boy stuff like crushes and stuff that makes us happy-" as Patton rambled on, Janus was looking desperately for a way to pry the former moral side off.
"PATTON- ACH-" Janus choked, one of Patton's arms were constricting around his neck. "CAN'T- BREATH!"
"Oh sorry!" Patton climbed off Janus and instead settled with wrapping an arm around his shoulder, an action that once again required him to stand on his toes. "So anyway I was thinking we could do each other's nails cause wowee you sure do have some talons I mean-"
"Patton this is serious!" Janus wiggled out from under his arm. "We need to keep this on the down low if you're that serious about not getting caught! I'm not sure how stupid you think your friends are, but they are far less easy to trick these days than you'd think."
"uuughhhhhh fiiiinneeeeeeeeee!" Patton's shoulders slumped. "Where should we sleep then?"
Ideally, for no one to see them at all, Janus's room would have been the best answer. Hard to find, located in a darker spot in Thomas's head, and not to mention the side that lived there was kind've a dick. Janus never got visitors unless it was Remus, usually. At this point the Duke had his own copy of the key for christ's sake. Alternatively, Patton was gone still technically. They'd eventually come looking for him if he didn't show face at least once. The last time Janus checked, Patton was always prancing around upstairs with his little friends. A sense of dread filled Janus. God...he was gonna have to act like Patton again. But this time, he couldn't screw it up. At all. The performance of his life time. Couldn't be too hard, he had the practice, and the right shirt this time. Janus looked back at Patton, who was digging his foot into the soot in the carpet drawing pictures in the ash. He was soft, far softer than Janus had probably ever been in his life. Janus frowned slightly. He had nothing but confidence for his own performance, but Patton stuck out like a sore thumb. He'd have to hide Patton as best as he could, at least until Patton got his shit together. Janus looked away from Patton and at his own gloved hands. Poor guy, had no clue what temperature hell awaited him without these gloves.
"We'll stay in your room." Janus said, dreading it. His room was home, and if he wasn't stuck in this situation he'd been happy to sleep amongst the rubble.
"My room?" Patton said, almost distantly. When was the last time he had had a guest in his room? "Yeah I wouldn't mind that."
"Good. We can't stay here. It would be far less suspicious for them to go to your room and see, well, me there." Janus gestured to Patton. "Rather than for them to come here and see you."
"Fair point." Patton shrugged. "Well, pack some clothes. I don't want you getting uncomfortable!"
Janus's eyebrow twitched. Seeing his body in Patton's clothes was really doing a number on him mentally. He threw a carbon copy of his regular outfit at Patton's face, hat included. "Put this on when we get back to your room. I look ridiculous."
"Heeeeyy!" Patton whined. "This shade of blue is lovely on you!"
Janus rolled his eyes and walked over to his closet to start packing. While Janus did that, Patton took the liberty in looking around at the healing room. He walked up to a particularly veiny patch on the wall. Wallpaper was slowly growing up the wall like vines, veining into a million different tendrils that seemed to be slithering up in a million different directions. Patton reached out and gently poked at the wall. He could feel it breathing... Patton retracted his hand back. He wondered if the room itself felt the actual explosion. Like if it felt the pain. He wondered if all the walls in the mind palace breathed or felt things too. Patton looked up to the tall ceilings and the ceiling beams that made Janus's room look as massive as it did. What secrets did these breathing walls know?
"Okay. I got you some clothes. I also took some liberty to grab you some other things that will make life a bit easier." Janus said.
Patton turned back to him. "Awe kiddo you don't have to worry about lil ol me I'm pretty low maintenance."
"I know. But I'm not." Janus plopped two really full duffle bags at Patton's feet. "Clothes. Heating blankets. Skin care products."
Patton looked down at the duffle bags. They looked heavy. Jeez he had no idea that Janus was this high maintenance... He reached down and picked up the bags with a slight struggle. Ugh these bags were way heavier than Patton thought!
"Alright, let's go." Janus walked on, and then stopped. "Wait...how did you get in here?"
"I-" Patton dropped the bags and took a breath. "I sank out here."
"...do you know how to get out of here?" Janus asked.
"Rise up? Yeah shouldn't be too hard! But Janus how come when you sink out you sink out so slowly???" Patton dragged the bags over next to Janus.
"Slowly? Do you not sink out at that pace?" Janus asked.
"No! I wouldn't even call what you do sinking. More like melting into the floor." Patton said. "Okay so, for me to do this, you gotta grab one bag and also grab my hand."
Janus frowned. "Why do I have to take your hand??"
"because silly I'm dragging you along with me! Now grab on!" Patton grabbed one of the duffle bags and held his hand out for Janus.
Janus snarled slightly, grabbed a duffle bag, and begrudgingly took Patton's hand.
"Awe see? Look at us! Working together already!" Patton smiled.
Janus had to choke back an insult. It was his nature at this point. "Oh well...just wait until he figures out that dark sides don't rise up..." He mumbled.
"what was that?" Patton smiled.
"Oh nothing nothing. Carry on." Janus said.
Patton quirked a brow, a funny taste spreading in his mouth. Oh well!
With that, Patton and Janus left the breathing room.
_______________
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