Colleen's Wild Kingdom

It started with a gang of kittens

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15 Ounces of Mayhem: or How Larry Is Ruining My Life With Her Constant Demands for Tummy Rubs by Colleen In the halcyon days of yore, about three weeks ago, Larry was not interested in people. That's changed and we are all trying to live with the consequences. She not only flips over into her back at the least sign of attention, she also proactively purrs, knowing you have no free will when it comes to kitten tummies. You WILL pet it and then probably scratch her ears and chin. When the baby talk begins and she knows she is fully your master. Who will save us when she is a full pound ?

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There's a Reason Most People Despise Kittens: or Why Velcro and Larry are the Worst Roommates by Colleen Kittens deserve their terrible reputations and they are unpopular for many reasons. Take Velcro; he thinks his handsomeness and devotion to sleeping in your lap are charming enough to forgive him when he splashes the water out of his bowl, which also seems to equally surprise and delight him. Every. Single. Time. He never tires of the joys of living every moment and it is annoying.

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The family that prepares to pounce together stays together.

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56 seconds on the life of a glass of New York City tap water.

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56 seconds on the life of a glass of New York City tap water.

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It’s a nice day to be on the roof. And these clouds seem faster IRL.

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No one's tail is safe, not even your own.

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No one's tail is safe, not even your own.

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Velcro gets lost in corners and behind open bedroom doors. His favorite things include napping, trying not to lose nipple access at mealtimes when his siblings lay on and over him, and sleeping in a kitten pile. He also enjoys the occasional snooze. What I'm saying is, Velcro is Low-key. Chill. Hungry. Sleepy. ***** Until you push him too far.

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Handle With Care:the End of the Kitty Corral Era I’ve talked about Sassy Pants’ anger issues before. Past incidents are sheer window treatments compared to the fiery curtain of rage she projected after discovering that she COULD climb the scratching post to the top, only to find the it was Too.Far.From.The.Wall. She couldn’t jump to freedom! Her cries into the abyss rang out like a small squeaky toy that had been slightly jostled. That frustration ended today. The Kitty Corral has been demolished. Momma broke away, after every casually balanced and haphazardly taped wall was thrown into the recycling bin, knowing that her last moment of freedom had been thrown away, too. The Kitty Corral was just a memory, a rickety, somewhat smelly, easily escaped memory. Handle With Care.

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All.Day.Long.

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When Larry takes your spot in the sun, you ignore Larry and lay there anyway.

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“I can’t decide whether to lick your ears or bite them so I will hug you instead.” Sassy Pants to Velcro

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Larry has big dreams, like climbing the wall one day, and figuring out why someone thought she would play with a limp octopus, much less why they would pay $4.99 for such a lame “toy”. And like many dreamers, she is often alone. But not lonely. There’s always Limpy.

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We need to talk about Larry.

Larry is a middle child who enjoys shadow dancing, scratching things, and gazing deeply and soulfully into your eyes. Larry does not enjoy heights, the sound of the garbage disposal, or being weaned. Despite being named by causal, possibly intellectually lazy, people she has BECOME a Larry,  owning it like she owns the snags at the bottom of the floor-length curtains in the dining room.

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Flashback to more peaceful times: Velcro and his mother, before he earned his name and reputation as a cling artist.