“sorry, but my prada’s at the cleaner’s along with my
hoodie and my ‘fuck you’ flip-flops, you
pretentious douchebag.”
#𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐎𝐍𝐇𝐄𝐈𝐑 is a mutuals-only portrayal of 𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 𝐒𝐓𝐎𝐍𝐄 from the pokémon franchise, following a 𝐏𝐑𝐈𝐌𝐀𝐑𝐈𝐋𝐘 𝐌𝐀𝐍𝐆𝐀𝐕𝐄𝐑𝐒𝐄 interpretation with some game (gen iii) elements, canon-divergence, and headcanons .
a study in: prophecy & 𝙵𝙰𝚃𝙴 you cannot escape, when the inauthentic 𝙼𝙰𝚂𝙺 begins to slip, when they say "you were 𝙱𝙾𝚁𝙽 for this" but what they mean is "you will 𝙳𝙸𝙴 for this", coming to 𝙿𝙾𝚆𝙴𝚁 as a child, heavy is the 𝙲𝚁𝙾𝚆𝙽, & 𝙼𝙴𝙼𝙴𝙽𝚃𝙾 𝙼𝙾𝚁𝙸 .
symbolized by: the dragon (japan), a phoenix, erupting volcanoes and life in wake of devastation, precious gemstones and metals, a crown tossed from the head, red camellia flower (japan), waterfalls of crushing power, & quiet luxury .
𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐝 𝐦𝐲: carrd or perish .
inspiration drawn from: thomas shelby, dr. stephen trange, tony stark, bruce wayne, more tbd .
𝐧𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬: written by ouranos (27+ they/them) est.2014 .
current affiliates: @rcguish / @miikuri
blogroll: @gruusha & @unovasrage
have you ever wondered how big your alpha (xxxl) sceptile actually is? is your smaller-than-average (s) joltik microscopic yet? what about your pint-sized powerhouse (xxs) of a tinkaton?
well! here is a down-and-dirty guide to actually calculating the size/s of you(r character's) pokemon team.
user requirements: basic, pre-algebraic mathematics fluency, as well as the ability to convert between inches (u.s. customary) & centimeters (imperial) systems of units as-needed.
DISCLAIMER: i personally headcanon weight scales proportionally to height so I did not work up separate calculations for that, despite there being greater weight variance in pokemon games than heights.
DISCLAIMER #2: all measurements in the pokemon world are to be taken with a grain of salt (canonically goddamn children were filling this dex out and young (10-14) with distorted perceptions of multiple facets of reality, including sizes, cannot be 100% trusted) because otherwise the math dictates some pokemon, at their smallest possible variations, would literally be <1in tall (example #1). ʸᵒᵘ ᵉˣᵖᵉᶜᵗ ᵐᵉ ᵗᵒ ᵇᵉˡⁱᵉᵛᵉ ᵍʳᵒᵘᵈᵒⁿ ᶜᵒᵘˡᵈ ᵈʳᵒʷⁿ ⁱⁿ ᵃⁿ ᵃᵛᵉʳᵃᵍᵉ ᵖᵘᵇˡⁱᶜ ˢʷⁱᵐᵐⁱⁿᵍ ᵖᵒᵒˡ ⁱᶠ ⁱᵗ ʲᵘˢᵗ ˢᵃᵗ ᵃᵗ ᵗʰᵉ ᵇᵒᵗᵗᵒᵐ ᵃⁿᵈ ᶜʰⁱˡˡᵉᵈ/ⁱᵗˢ ᵖʳⁱᵐᵃˡ ᶠᵒʳᵐ ⁱˢ ˢʰᵒʳᵗᵉʳ ᵗʰᵃⁿ ᵃ ᵗʷᵒ⁻ˢᵗᵒʳʸ ʰᵒᵘˢᵉ? ʸᵒᵘ'ʳᵉ ʰᵒⁿᵉˢᵗˡʸ ᵗʳʸⁱⁿᵍ ᵗᵒ ᶜᵒⁿᵛⁱⁿᶜᵉ ᵐᵉ ʳᵉᵍⁱᵍⁱᵍᵃˢ, ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᵐᵒⁿˢᵗᵉʳ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᶜᵃⁿ ᵐᵒᵛᵉ ᶜᵒⁿᵗⁱⁿᵉⁿᵗˢ, ⁱˢ ˢʰᵒʳᵗᵉʳ ᵗʰᵃⁿ ᶜᵉᵗⁱᵗᵃⁿ ? ˢʰᵉᵉˢʰ ⁻
DISCLAIMER #3: additionally, some "heights" listed are actually "length". viewer interpretation applies here. for instance, dratini is cited to be 5 feet, 11 inches tall. looking at its art/sprites/etc., this would mean the portion of dratini's body that raises up off of the ground (like half its "length") is that 5'11... i don't think so. here is how to calculate pokemon heights with Funny(tm) sprites/art such as dratini's where they're arguably not "standing".
ALRIGHT, SO...
the size scale in pokemon is numerically ranged from 0 to 255. however, this does not quite work out because there are 9 total sizes presented in the pokemon world(/games)... XXXS, XXS, XS, S, M, L, XL, XXL, XXXL.
math applying, this yields 255/9 = 28.3 <- that number is then allotted to each "size range", calculated below...
XXXS = 0 - 28.3
XXS = 28.4 - 56.7
XS = 56.8 - 85.1
S = 85.2 - 113.5
M = 113.6 - 141.9
L = 142.0 - 170.3
XL = 170.4 - 198.7
XXL = 198.8 - 227.1
XXXL = 227.2 - 255.5
the additional 0.5 is negligible and if your alpha mon is the max possible size but you want it to be just that much bigger than all the others, go off i guess.
DISCLAIMER #4: for sake of avoiding The Beloathed Concept of Zero we're going to assume that 0 "equals" 1.
presumably, "medium" is the "average" size of any given pokemon species. an acceptable "medium/average" of size range has 28.3 total units, and "true average" would be right in the middle of the indicated range...
[RANGE VALUE] (28.3) ÷ [MIDPOINT] (2) = 14.15
[MIDPOINT] to be subtracted from [MAXIMUM VALUE], ergo...
141.9 - 14.15 = 127.75
round to 128 if you absolutely must or otherwise feel so inclined.
... and have a size value of 127.8 (rounded for simplicity), thus being a flat & perfect 100% sized pokemon.
the rule then follows that if a pokemon in "medium/average" size range is valued at 113.6 (89%, rounded) through 141.9 (111%)...
XXXS through S pokemon are ≤88.9%
L through XXXL are consequently ≥111.1%, with 200% or more being designated as "alpha" pokemon
NOW THAT YOU KNOW "AVERAGE" HAS A RANGE, "TRUE AVERAGE" IS HIGHLY SPECIFIC, AND THE SIZE RANGES, it's time to get to work on "where" in that range your pokemon actually falls. this is easily accomplished by a two-part process if you know what size range your pokemon falls in...
round 28.3 to 28
roll 1d20 + 1d8
once again, that extra 0.3 is negligible. include it if you desire. link for a dice roller programmed to 1d20 + 1d8 included. or use your own clicky-clackies irl for the satisfying stim. just don't eat them.
if you don't know what size range your pokemon falls in/want to randomize it, you can first roll 1d8 + 1d2.
TIME TO GET CALCULATING!
it is easiest & most sensible to convert all provided pokemon heights to centimeters. bulbapedia & serebii provide u.s. format of foot'inch'', as well as meters.
DISCLAIMER #5: the heights cited on these pages are interpreted as the "true average"/100% of a pokemon species.
our example will be a KINGDRA. model this process for your own pokemon.
Step 1: Search up Kingdra's "100%" height.
5'11/1.8m.
Turn this into inches only.
71.0in
Convert this into cm.
180.3cm
180.3cm is now proportionally represented by 127.75. It will be indicated as follows...
180.3 : 127.75
Let's pretend you own a small (S) Kingdra.
The size range is 85.2 - 113.5.
Step 2: Roll to find out where within the allotted size range your Kingdra falls.
15
This 15 represents the subtraction from S size's designated range maximum. If it were large, it would be addition from the minimum!
Step 3: Add/subtract your roll to your pokemon's size range minimum/maximum, respectively.
113.5 - 15 = 98.5
This will be the value critical to your calculations, as the "100%" assigned will shrink (or, if larger, grow) to.
Step 4: Set up your ratio, starting with the assigned 100% ratio from Step 1...
180.3 : 127.75
x : 98.5
Now you must figure out your x value. In this case, divide [100% VALUE] by [TARGET VALUE]...
127.75 ÷ 98.5 = 1.2965...
(round to nearest hundredths place / tenths / whole if applicable)
1.296 > 1.3
... and apply your quotient to your [100% SIZE] via division to calculate [X] ...
x = 180.3 ÷ 1.3
x = 138.46
thus, your calculation now tells you that your small (S) kingdra has a size value of 98.5, which is equivalent to a kingdra that is 138.46cm tall...
Step 5: if needed, convert the cm value back to in(> ft) + m
he makes a point to inhale deeply, as one would a reflexive sigh -- this is cultivated, a conscious practice for when appearances need be maintained to the utmost extent -- in light of words offered that are meant to console & provide a salve for the searing received at the hands of media, presumptuous / news outlets, controlled by those who hold stock in them & likely plant their own agents among the employ. the pokemon association would not consider such actions beneath its jurisdiction.
"you know that, and i know that…" thumb works briefly against the spark wheel before a flame springs to life, and the other hand is used to shield it as he draws it toward his face / holds the burning oxygen to the end of the cigarette which ignites behind curved fingers. lighter's quickly replaced within his jacket as the heir straightens, a series of breaths he uses to encourage the burning before steven exhales, smoke pushed as a stream through his nose whilst the cigarette's removed. "… and our friends know that. as does the chairman who, to my understanding, wasted no time attempting to celebrate 'his' perceived victory.
"yet i would confidently wager that today's circus and veritable avalanche of accusations was a choreographed by the chairman -- or at the very least, was green-lit by him. he loathes being wrong even more than i." a small shrug's given with the rise/fall of shoulders, "early into my reign, i warned him what traction the ideologies of magma and aqua had in their most fundamental, basic form had among the average civilian population of the region. he did not listen. i continued to attempt convincing him of the danger such mindsets could, one day, pose…" steel tumbles as steven rolls his eyes, "… in that regard, i did fail."
the cigarette's returned to his lips, held, as he speaks around the object, "it is far easier to convince the general public that one person they believed in is partially responsible for damage wrought alongside those actually responsible, than to ask them to take accountability for their own ardent faith in one ideology or another. it is even more difficult to ask them to accept the fact both were objectively a threat to the stability of the region -" perhaps planet, "- as we know it once they gained the necessary public approval. imagine: burdening an average person with the notion their support helped bolster the courage of magma and aqua, leading to the calamity which took hold… ? preposterous."
and at last, a long inhale is drawn.
"… such is his train of thought, anyway. of that, i have no doubt."
lucy scoffs instinctively, crossing a long leg over as she narrows her eyes, probing steven's imperious (and infuriatingly unreadable) expression for any tells, any cracks in that smug façade. none. no matter how much time passed between his appearances, steven sure had a remarkable talent for getting under the pike queen's skin.
"sure. scott's known to get...overexcited, at times," she muses, deciding to play along with the hypothetical after a sip of admittedly luxurious wine. "but, he's still got standards. nobody is supposed to get in here without eight badges--it's more of a crowd control filter than a skill requirement, really."
lucy nods, smirking. "...I imagine that's why you put up with the current system, too. you start letting any old trainer into ever grande, and I predict sidney doesn't make it a week before quitting."
"...so, as much as I love throwing scott to the mightyena, I don't see it," she continues after a comfortable pause, manicured fingers idly fiddling with the glass stem. "also, the frontier's pretty tucked away...and hecuba and big shot have been trained to fend off...unauthorized intruders. they've both pitched perfect games so far."
another pause, another sip. lucy's hand rests upon the glinting crown of vera's head, and the seviper hisses contentedly.
"...you know what I think? I think scott is big on doing favors for his friends, especially his friends with pull. he thinks you're the best thing since the pokenav." the pike queen nods towards steven, grin widening as she casually tips more wine into her glass, adding in a few drops of something from a glittering pocket flask. "...and I think setting some mystery unknown from pacifidlog loose in the frontier is exactly your m.o. that's why you're here, right? to assess the damage...?"
lucy leans back with serpentine ease, her sharp eyes never leaving her quarry, though the previously-held ill intent has mostly shifted to pure curiosity now.
"so. who is she to you? your project? your latest protégé? devon's latest twisted creation...?" she nudges him playfully with her heel. "come on, stone. indulge me a little..."
"he has standards, the likes of which i found to be comparable to my own. how else do you think he received my unconditional support for the frontier's construction in the first place?" a hand's upturned in what can be interpreted as a shrug, "but as you so keenly identify, such standards exist to assure there is no time wasted -- for anyone." much as sidney loved his job, even he would become exasperated with a constant, never-ending stream. the fleeting lull in her words / a tactical pause before conversational pivot is disrupted only by the shift of his hand -- knuckle bending to press the length of his finger against palm's heel while his thumb likewise stretches before pressing down upon the joint & cracking its nearby pair.
( cunning, pike queen… ever as you are. )
he lets her continue without further interruption of motion / expression / sound otherwise, but steven does not even attempt to prevent his eyebrows from lifting in light of her conjecture. reasonable though it is, the incompleteness of her information causes her shot to veer sidelong from her target's heart. he supposes she's done enough theorizing on her own, and has pieced together her own puzzle sufficiently enough he feels no exasperation in addition the final pieces.
"that is a rather interesting statement, as i am the sole owner of the pokenav's patent -" brows lower to their more proper position, before drawing a faint crease in his forehead with their knit, "- to which i am certain you are aware. such implications are not lost on me." the smirk returns, and contact is broken as another sip of the wine is taken. the manner in which he holds it alters as hands fall within his lap -- palm's upturned against the goblet's convex basin, a quiet click of platinum rings against glass accentuating the movement while steven's free hand rests overtop the other's wrist.
"i will accept the 'blame' as it is issued -- your recent defeat was atypical, thus my curiosity was piqued by such an outlier from anticipatory data. a 'damage assessment' would not be a dishonest label for this visit, but it also fails to encompass the entirety of my intention and is therefore inaccurate." a small lift of shoulders, and he refuses to take the so-obvious bait laid out for him, "though part of the aforementioned 'entirety' does consist on providing you with the information you probe for, --"
a pointed glance is directed toward the push of her heel into with the side of his leg, just below the muscle's point of contact with his knee
"-- for sake of lessening the burn losing one of your cherished symbols has surely erupted." payback for her remarks meant to sting. "you will be pleased …perhaps… to know she is not my protégé, but wallace's. given the manners he has impressed upon her through the years, i assume she told you her name is takehiko." gaze is made to disconnect momentarily, an upward rise of his eyes followed by a strafe portraying contemplation before they return to lucy's. "wallace has known her since he was approximately fifteen, but he most discernibly took her under his wing eight years afterward." genuine darkness shadows the wanderer's expression, and it's hidden away as eyes lower to the wine in his glass. "scott's condition for allowing the petrified dex holders of kanto and johto to be hidden away in the artisan cave was that his chosen brains be made aware of such, so they could conduct themselves accordingly." eyes lift once more, a smoulder hardening the squall's color within, "the one i do claim as my protégé was among those petrified. after emerald's wish to reverse their deaths, wallace and i took our respective charges for comprehensive physical and psychological evaluations. my own for obvious reasons, and takehiko as she had grown quite reclusive between then and the calamity -- among other indicators she was arguably unwell. after doing so, we acted more formally as their guardians for a period of time since neither of them have biologically-related individuals willing to do so."
the former champion forces unnecessary breath from between his lips as one arm falls against the lower portion of his ribcage, while the one holding the wine glass perches in a bent elbow against its wrist. "she has, more or less, been under his care since. they are both of direct relation to the original inhabitants of hoenn… him, sootopolian and her, draconid. if you wish to know who let her enter the frontier, it was his writ as champion…" and the smirk that pulls to life once more then splits into a grin which portrays proper amusement, "… and i simply did not see a reason to contest his decision." a pause, before deciding to add something wallace would likely detect (or otherwise hear about) at a later point in time, "if it brings you any comfort: she would be champion were any of their battles, barring the one for his badge, official."
riley’s world had always been rendered in inconceivable colours━ feeling the parameters of his aura as it brushed against something else long before he saw the form of it taking shape. it had been an unwieldy sense in the beginning, far more sensitive than sight, taste or sound. becoming accustomed to it had demanded as much diligence as it did discomfort, now, it felt as natural as breathing.
is that why that as their eyes met he suddenly felt robbed breath ?
the way he remembered it steven’s aura had been striated with silver, luminous and unprecedented, imploring riley’s fixated gaze long after what could have been considered polite. ( he was staring like that now too. ) but now ━unable to detect even the faintest trace of it, discomfort washes over him. his most acute sense had become utterly useless. nothing became so much more than the absence of sight as he struggled to draw breath, searching in futility for something that was starkly missing. beside him lucario bristles, its open hostility compensating for his trainer’s stagnant lapse of silence. they had met steven before━ but this, this was like coming face to face with an eclipsing darkness, tangible and suffocating.
in order to shield him lucario takes a step forward, a growl resonating not through their shared telepathic bond but aloud, before riley’s arm reaches out in placation. he attempts to manage a smile but finds the corners of his mouth hewed into a grimace; there was something uniquely painful about this kind of blindness.
❝ I would welcome you…. but there are far more pressing matters at hand.❞ and even if he remained winded by it he understood, implicitly, that whatever had happened to steven must have been catastrophic; nothing else made sense to him. ❝ your aura…❞
though perhaps not the depths of meteor falls he has been granted permission to explore uninhibited by anything but natural formations (& could likely do so blindfolded), iron island holds its own sense of familiarity to steven stone. his history with the location undeniably intertwined, thus he has ever considered the caverns a comfort to his existence. as fate would have it, those same caverns are a location that nigh unfailingly yields him the presence of one he has come to consider 'friend' after little more than a decade. and it is that same friend he seeks, now, as a 'first stop' in his exploration of the world to its fullest / the first beat of metaphorical wings in a sky he'd been released from the cage of championship unto.
… and, it is that same friend whose gaze transfixed upon him yield what steven readily classifies as 'shock', 'confusion', and perhaps even' horror'.
unblinking gaze meets riley's own…
desperate eyes of the other man flitting betwixt left & right sides, from head to heart & even to the ground below him before unfailingly winding up back at his face
the empty attempt at a smile wilting mere seconds after it's constructed into being
… upon a face constructed of stony impassiveness, his own stare unreadable and something which covers the mind behind which endlessly sifts through data acquired by his own senses & the course of interaction as it happens.
his stare is only interrupted by the sound of a growl in the throat of a protective ( scared ) pokemon; the moment of sound's detection is met by the shift of dragon-descended eyes to the aura pokemon faithfully bound to riley's side. ( it's growl is audible, ) observation comes instantaneously, ( … it underscores the unknown and corresponding threat of this stimulus. )
and that enigmatic danger is he, himself, as he exists.
( … )
riley's quiet words draw the former champion's gaze once more, and without breaking contact does steven reach into his breast pocket & withdraw a premier ball, enlarging it to proper size as his hand returns to his side / better reveals the pokemon within: a lucario under his ownership, one riley's would recognize the aura of ( however disrupted, muted by the technology of pokeballs it may have been… ) to be one he sired, years prior. it is a sign of trustworthiness even the pokemon cannot deny.
"… your statement satisfies, regrettably, the first curiosity i would have accosted you with." words at last come forth, the mask of control which created steven's expression at last ceding to a certain, exhausted disappointment. "i assume it is gone?" slowly does steven blink, eyes held closed in a fleeting resignation before he allows contact with the guardian's once more.
"the fear you address me with confirms my hypothesis pertaining to such."
"i am curious to know your thoughts, if you would not mind permitting at least three minutes of your time to entertaining me?" unblinking gaze fixes upon the young woman, a rough estimation - the collaboration of judgements from by her greeting, body language, and manner of speaking... - affording the new champion the assumption she's not far off his own age, perhaps give or take two years either way. steven inhales deeply, gaze torn from that of heterochromia as the call of wingull overhead draws his attention.
"i would like to know what your thoughts regarding lilycove, specifically: though the region as a whole benefits from ecotourism, lilycove is a particularly popular location due to the nearby safari zone and, further, fortree city. the area between the two cities is the largest tract of subtropical rainforest among the eastern regions, featuring many of our endemic species of pokemon in the wild. in addition, the colony of shiny corsola near pacifidlog has data indicating there has been a growth of popularity among tourists at a modest pace, but even modesty is capable of creating something which may cause upset for those unprepared.
"looking forward, it is safe to say the constant influx of tourism will create an itch many developers and corporate owners wish to scratch by testing the limits of where they are permitted to build to accommodate tourists. an extremist approach - such as isolationist policy - is largely unrealistic and something that would come at great upfront cost to the hoenn region, thus a healthy 'middle ground' between preserving the land and benefiting the region's economy through supporting tourism must be reached. as a citizen of the region, what would you like to see?"
