[tkkatherineblog]

[gyllenhaaldaily]

Jake Gyllenhaal is photographed during the opening night performance of If There Is I Haven’t Found It Yet on September 21, 2012 in New York City

[devonooo]

I'm just so fucking sad

[sami-ee-deactivated20170730]

[aplaceofhisown-deactivated20180]

A powerful but benevolent water spirit lives here.

[snottgal]

I got goosebumps

[ryandevon]

I feel like I’m about to find the final boss

[devonooo]

Im pretty sure that you will leave an embossment on my eyelids with the way you look at me. It wont spell out your name or some other exclamation of property. Instead it will whisper in my ears that I'm loved when I feel small. Instead it will tell me to lift my head up when I only want to keep my eyes casted downward. Instead it will hold me in its grasp lifting me into the air making sure I know I carry meaningful weight in the heart and mind of the one i love - you, Victor James.

I know I can only give what I have but I will lay it all down for you. I will hold you close but keep you enough at a distance where I can't lose sight of your beauty. Your eye-squint laugh, your shoulder drop passionate talking, your timeless caring for others. You dont need me to tell you to keep being yourself but the world, and my life, would be that much dimmer without you present. So do me, and all of us, a favor by shining loud & sticking close. Youre a magnicificent unmatched force and I will let heaven fall down before I ever let you forget it.

[devonooo]

My depression and anxiety manifests itself in the trauma that I endured when I was a child. Everyday I wake up looking upward trying to build myself upon a foundation on the remarkable qualities that make me a valuable person to know and interact with. When certain situations make me look at myself and overscrutinze every flaw that I have I try to fight the voice that tells me I am not worth enough. This voice is my own so it is always present but I try to counter it with the personal mental growth that I have acheived through the years. Some days the voice wriggles its way into the base of my head and I feel it weigh heavy on my ears. Other days, its almost as if its gone entirely. What I am still trying to master is that when that voice is so blaring that its all you can hear, where do I go to silence it? Do days like this erase all the prgress ive made on past days when it doesn't make itself know? My point is that mental growth is a constant ebb and flow. We must be easy on ourselves and allow us the space to have this push and pull. My questions may never be answered but I fully believe that the goodness lies in the pursuit of the answers, not in the discovery of them. I will try to practice the words that reside in me, instead of using them as a temporary fix like i always do. I wish it just wasnt so much work to remember youre own worth.

[devonooo]

My depression and anxiety manifests itself in the trauma that I endured when I was a child. Everyday I wake up looking upward trying to build myself upon a foundation on the remarkable qualities that make me a valuable person to know and interact with. When certain situations make me look at myself and overscrutinze every flaw that I have I try to fight the voice that tells me I am not worth enough. This voice is my own so it is always present but I try to counter it with the personal mental growth that I have acheived through the years. Some days the voice wriggles its way into the base of my head and I feel it weigh heavy on my ears. Other days, its almost as if its gone entirely. What I am still trying to master is that when that voice is so blaring that its all you can hear, where do I go to silence it? Do days like this erase all the prgress ive made on past days when it doesn't make itself know? My point is that mental growth is a constant ebb and flow. We must be easy on ourselves and allow us the space to have this push and pull. My questions may never be answered but I fully believe that the goodness lies in the pursuit of the answers, not in the discovery of them. I will try to practice the words that reside in me, instead of using them as a temporary fix like i always do. I wish it just wasnt so much work to remember youre own worth.

[lvndscapes-blog]

[90377]

Untitled by ezook

[devonooo]

I'm really fucking sad & I know that everyone is but I cant help but be blinded by the big ass fucking mound of pain sitting on my fucking face.

[devonooo]

And with my very own eyes, I could feel that the one who needed himself was the same one who pushed them all away. It easy to do away with the things that are murky when they so easily reflect themselves into you. Its terrifing to see the atrocities that you spend every waking moment swallowing down turn up in your mirror. Shattering the glass became my obssession. So much so that I forgot what I looked like. I cry out wanting to find him. But he eludes my every move as if I'm a predator seeking a meal. I tell myself that I mustnt be afraid of something that is right in front me but my own nose seems so foreign I reside in the dark where no one can find me. My only desire is to find something to always stay lit. So full of light that the shadows scurry to find their new place. I tell myself, and so do they, that the light is within me if I only decide to use it. I say blasphemy is the pile that they build their confidence on. How can one person light the whole world inside my head? Liar, I say. Instead I look for it in others. Temporary, yes. But in abundance more than my own.

[devonooo]

I dont think I'm crazy, but I understand I can be abit much. Feeling as tho I was shoved under some dudes toenail and left to grow into fungi, I wish I didnt wake up this morning. The rain on my window makes me want to jump into a droplet and try to find the sunshine that I know would make me feel better. I dont think Im crazy, but I understand that there might be something wrong with me. Maybe instead of searching for sunshine I should be looking for myself.

[devonooo]

Have you ever looked at your yourself and seen the potential that you have?

You recognize the strength in your brows & determination in how you hold your mouth. You look down at your legs and recognize flesh tools that are capable of getting back up, over & over again. Your arms & hands are capable of such magic but you're also very aware of the hurt they can inflict. your hands don't hold a flame to the amount of damage that you can cause with the content that fills your mouth tho. But that mind. It contradicts itself & questions its worth alot of the time. But it is also witty & can form some pretty funny jokes if I do say so myself. Its all very beautiful in the complexity of it all, isnt it?

Imagine ones dismay when all of this turns rotten through the eyes of the one who says they love you? He use to love all of these things. I'm not so sure he does anymore. I'm not even sure if I do.

[infusedwithpastels]

[classichorrorshit]

[devonooo]

the boy never really thought he could move worlds until he found the dirt of them in his front pockets.

ground down from the steps he'd taken, the dirt turned to dust.

the dust of pines and bark exploded into the air as he emptied his pockets of the baggage of those he left behind.

it isn't selfish to pull yourself along sometimes, atleast that's what people with old bones tell me.

I won't be ground into dust and neither will you.

you'll continue to thrive in the mouths of people talking of how you made their lips curve towards their ears.

don't worry, I won't let you get lost.

no matter what, the light emitted from behind your eyes will keep you coming back to benevolence.

it will show it's face through the radiant smiles & deep belly laughs of the ones you love.

make a recording of it in your mind & play it mega loud to drown out the lies of your darkest self.

that will keep you safe & sound, my love.

I hope.

[devonooo]

love rears its unrecognizable face in many different ways.

- sometimes it shows itself by resting on your shoulder or grazing your lips.

- other times it shows itself by knocking on your bed frame at night begging to come hide from the cold.

- & some other times it even shows itself by salivating under your tongue with the slightest taste of bitterness.

my point is that we have to open our fucking eyes if we want to see anything other than the bleakness that seeks to wrap you up in an envelope and set itself aflame.

It's always more than a kiss & definitely more than a spoken phrase used to check off the list of what it means to be with someone.

Taking the time to bathe in what it means to love someone can unfold a light from within that maybe was snuffed out for so long, that you thought it was gone.

I am certainly sure it still rages inside - just give it some space to burn.