Devotchka

I’m an emotional wreck and here of my rants.

[devotchkaart]

Love is a finicky thing. It makes feel like you can fly, but also commit mass murder. It can make food taste sweet and like death. I want it back and I never want it again.

[devotchkaart]

Will I be happy again? Maybe. Only time will tell

[devotchkaart]

Trying the cope with the possibility of being alone forever

[devotchkaart]

[devotchkaart]

I’m still in love with you, but I’m also realizing I don’t like you. You didn’t like me either. That’s why you changed me. I went along with it because I loved you and wanted you to be happy. I through my opinions away. I love you. I hope I find someone to love me the way I loved you. Someone that lets me dress how I want. Someone that introduces me to their friends and family. I hope the take me places. I hope they never hit me. I hope the laugh at my jokes. I hope they like me.. for me. Then again, I never want to love again. I can’t take the pain again.

[cutexxxd-blog]

I like knowing if you masturbate to me

[cowboykeebop]

[neckkiss]

via weheartit

[devotchkaart]

I kept telling him I loved him more than he did me, but I always hoped I was wrong. I wasn’t. I lost 2lbs since Friday. I haven’t eaten in 26hrs.

[devotchkaart]

Opening up is hard. Falling in love is hard. Then they leave you. I almost hope I never fall in love again.

[devotchkaart]

February.

The first time I was raped.

The anniversary of me being sober off hard drugs.

My dead mom’s birthday month.

The month of my abortion.

Manny shattered my heart and cracked my soul.

I fucking hate February.

P.s. I’m never falling in love again. If I do, he’ll treat me bad and break my heart too. I wish I could fuck the pain away, but I don’t want anyone to ever touch me again.

[devotchkaart]

If it wasn’t for roller derby

I would be lost without him. Zombree tried comforting me, and she said, “well you have a whole family now, so you’ll be fine.”

I didn’t cry in public, as most girls came and hugged me and said they’re here for me. I just want to hold Manny one more time.

[devotchkaart]

Small and XL

[devotchkaart]

I miss her so much. I finally had my someone here.

[devotchkaart]

I think I’m getting dumped tomorrow, well tonight.

[devotchkaart]

Love.

I still feel it, but it’s tainted. Every other day I want to cave and run to him, but I’m done chasing.

I hope one day I feel loved as much as I love him.

[devotchkaart]

When you realize you’re reaching to hold something that doesn’t exist. Why doesn’t he just dump me then. This is torture.