⛤StarLighte offcail @devstarlighte - Tumblr Blog

7/19/26 post: sunday no sleep

i couldnt sleep all night and no im not jokein for some reaon i got 0 hours of sleep gosh so i was up at like 1 2 3 4 5 6 now its 7 am idk how i feel a lil sleepy but ima make coffee before i faint or somethin also im listing to hardcore grabber rn by dj yoshiko i dont wanna wake anyone up but i need coffee im yawning like crazy but my body wont let me sleep eh fuck it i need it drink now or ill be shittin my pants in the car as we all know coffee does that to me.. anyways for the past week my whole feed is on nothing but scene i wanna dress and look scene so badly but i dont wanna bring it up my dad will prob say ew and my mom will fully blown lecture on its the devil and "khong co nhien lic su"idfk what to do it makes me so jelous of others on insta to dress even if i rember some freshmen last school year even wore it HOW?!?!?!? also dev was once scene aswell yes im cryin for the past days and mabye its why i cant sleep let alone i still cant find my shopkinds my childhood toys.. father said its prob due to mother goodwill it or some shit or gave it away so im anxcious and my past huants me mabye its also why i cant FUCKING SLEEP WHEN IM TIRED little things pisses me off now and im yawning like crazy but i cant sleep i also relized i still got no frineds at all wich makes matter worst and much more.. alot of ppl online says to cut off toxic ppl how do i cut off my mom then bc they say remove toxic from your life so tell me how and ill listen- shes is toxic she is the death of me..

7/18/26 post: excuse me..

Mother wanted to try hence the word try I let her have a sip to try but she took my while cup as her own my iced coffee like excuse me then she made father buy a whole new cup for me like if you wanted a coffee ask dont steal mine and she called me selfish and (vietnamse) "ickey" I told she can try NOT TAKE MY WHOLW FUCKING CUP WITHOUT ASKIN I WAS DRINKIN IT also they made it very good today UGH MY CUP!!! So she try takeing it again i slapped her not hard but enough to tell her we dont steal. What does she do she makes it a big deal and complain to my father on how rude and selfish I am how am I selfish im starting to think she's one of those narcissistic mom fyi im a coffeeholic and lover so.. i love my coffee and haveing it beung taken bc she likes it is idk why I allmost cried when she took it.. its just coffee. anywas long after i posted the above just a few mins ago out in the grage tryin to find my old shopkins me and my father had a deep talk but it wasnt about today more like a intervew rather say on what i wanna do after hs or stuff and some advice in life and deep talkins on his histroy a bit so bassicly he was useing me as a therpyist to talk out wich i dont mind.. he said he was only the fixer hence he was a peramidic but he said he cant fix me for once.. he doesnt want me lonely or sad he wants me happy.. and all that the reason why i didnt mind was it made me felt somewhat needed for once in my life... whew atleast were goin too costco tmr i need more food i ate the last corsornt today and were allmost outta milk i heard costco got goods on insta my whole feed was on ittt like pretzel bagels?!? cookies and some smores and they sell fudge?!?! omg yes after church were soo gonna goo and pokemon promo? (i hope)

4/17/26 post: werid dream

soo for once i finally dream after ??? months it was werid i was in a wallmart shopping for xmas stuff ok first of all its fucking july 17 tho i noticed in all my dreams my hair is still brown fyi im blonde now but still as i heard on instagram you dream means you see trough other version of yourself and if you stop dreamin your the last version lefted and all that does it mean im the only ver whos blonde? anywyas then ofc everytime i go to a store that have music like cd and vyniils id allways look like come on ya never know but when i was looking in the xmas isle i was "in the dark" (wow a dev ref that i didnt mean to make) with my phone as a flashlight looking trough stuff for a sec but once again dream logic its normal store but with a werid light blue filter overlay anyways we checked out and the music stuff was pushed to the checkout for some reason and you can only walk back and forth to see what they got idk why but it pissed me off like come on why you gotta move it here and thats pretty much the dream in a wallmart also where the hell is dev in my dreams or she was like ok bye come on girll i can dream and sleep but not sleep deep nor well odd

7/16/26 post: well werid mornig

woke up at 5am so i got 4 hours of sleep due to strom it was loud but the nice part is i fell back to sleep i noticed when i woke up no one is home wich felt like heaven no mom to bother me while i make coffee or pee finally oh shit i jinxed it she just came home you gotta be fucking me anyways i been telling her for months now that i wanna clean i still dont got a mind of my own and that appearntly my dad told me to tell her to clean w me bc he forced me ? when did he now tell me "you dont actally wanna clean bc he told you you dont even wanna move" so i was like you know what fuck it sorry that i wanted to have my mind but my mind is my fathers. im so fucking done i wonder how ill do in 2 years or everyone thinks my mind is to some boss and a boss choses and forced me to do job for example gosh i dont fucking know anymore i just wanna be my own person i dont wanna be a puppet for a parent or anyone whatever ima just cry myself and lay down im to tired

7/15/26 post: sometimes i wonder to much..

when i get moments i get lost in my tought randomally where i think about the past and alot of shit it reminds me i never really had love or companionship nor any frineds that actally cared about me or even a frined in genral hence i allredy got no pets nor siblings i really dont see myself surviving another year in school i really dont not i ment life or anything just in a chair away from home for 8 hours alone annoying adults no phones rules and have to ask to use a bathroom and horrble food i dont understand how im not like everyone where i suck it up and do it or get ..frineds why am i the odd one? gosh i really do think to much and i allways wonder what am i even doing in life or with my life ...whatever i cant think of a time where someone is happy to see me meet me talk to me or even need me let alone want me.. i just wanna be like her i love that artist to much sure we got things in common but this is just diffrent most of the time i wanna sell all my shit

7/14/26 post: boring ass summer still

most boring summer ever ngl im just home or sometimes i go to book stores i eat pretty much 1 meal a day now and i sleep untill 4am while video editing or roleplaying still got no one to talk or hang out with hece my older posts and why is it i can sleep well and deep sleep during school days where i need to get up early and sleep lightly but summer i get up early like 9am or 10 and i havent been dreaming at all.. music feels bland and i dont know anymore is there a day im not groggy or tired and happy and actally loved? "dont get to sentive about it" excuse me you compared dev to justin biber in apprance and saying she didnt have the no.1 song and shes not poplaur or ever blew up.. why am i crying over this.. im not sure mabye i shouldnt be a fan of hers anymore.. if shes not poplaur and that she sucks the only artist who gave me confindance to even speak up more and to be alive "oh but bass down low got no meaning" dev inst just about 1 or 2 songs if you look deeper into her tntscu or BSJ and gosh IOSWYID is deeper but your right shes nothin.. i-i need to lay down also i cant push this nagging feeling summer is a break i am not really on a break i just feel and see it as a extended weekend i cant stop thinking about what classes ill have and the diffculty jumps you may think oh thats a good thing im thinking of it in a bad way its not good.. tbh after what happend in the past years i dont think i can even stand another year in school.. place filled wait can you get trama from months ago and a year ago? its still trauma and being in that place i-i cant it allredy broke me "school is where you see your frineds learn and be happy" yeah right bullshit also what frineds they say also wtf is wrong with kids these days dressed like an adult cropped tops jeans chain necklace iphones?! im either a boomer atp in terms but i rember when i was a kid like 8 years old what happend to the graphic tees like cats that cover shoulders and belly and pants and leggings like cheta or cupcakes and unicorns? yes i saw kids in public like that also an iphone wtf sure i hate iphones as i am an s24fe myself but HOLY THATS A KID A KID NOT A ADULT NOR A TEEN wtf is going on with these gen

7/10/26 post: omfg stop the holy water it ruins my shit

I TOLD HER STOP THE FUCKING HOLY WATER BC I HAVE POSTERS AND A MONITOR AND THAT WILL MAKE IT NOT LOOK GOOD ANYMORE ALSO I HATE JESUS SHE MAKES ME EAT OUT MY ROOM SO SHE CAN GO IN HERE WITH HOLY WATER IM SO FUCKING FED UP BC SHE SAID SHELL STOP AND LIED THIS IS WHY IM IN MY ROOM 24/7 WITH ANXIETY GOSH I WANNA THROW SOMETHING AT MY WALL RN i really wanna break something this is the last straw and she claims so the snakes wont get in my room WHAT SNAKE IN MY ROOM!?? DOES ANY OTHER PARENT DONT RESPET UR PERSONAL SPACE AND BELONGING AND FUCKS HOLY IN UR ROOMM?!?! now my bed feels wet ima dump all her holy water on her bed soon sometimes i wonder why i was born very late like why man being born late is diffcult to buy stuff i like bc its oop and sclapers and bots and why cant i be born atleast and i mean atleast 2008

no one needs me lyrics:

verse 1: no one needs me id be sittin on the floor no one sees me ive done this before if i could touch your face one more time o-one more time.. one more time.. the very next day if be wittering away but then one day i found you..

Improved Verse 2: I wanna be like you, you fucking grown-up piece of shit Strong as hell with friends who don’t treat me like I don’t exist I wanna write this goddamn music just like you This might be my last fucking try at this stupid broken tune ‘Cause you inspired me, you bitch… now I’m screaming it for you

Verse 3: Everything still hurts, I’m fucking shattered on the floor No one needs this worthless fuck, I’ve said it all before I scream into the void but nobody gives a shit You lit a spark inside this empty goddamn pit

Verse 4 : One day I’ll find your face and thank you through the tears You pulled my broken ass up from all these fucked up years No one needed me, I was withering away… But then one day I found you… got me dancing in the dark, one last time

7/5/26 post: fuck god

im so tired for some reason sure there was no sound at night I lay in bed ay midnight and well I couldnt sleep untill 6 am or 5am last I checked ans im bout gonna go to fucking long ass curch in Vietnamese soon I was woken up when I finally fell asleep I dont feel so well.. i fucking hate Jesus cuase I have to go to a stupid fucking curch I hate heaven and hell and sins and all that I dont wanna belive in any of it anymore i just want the bassic normal Sundays and good or bad luck but no its allways bad luck no that's a sin that's God being punished n shit

7/1/26 post: well ok

lately ive been wakeing up at 10:43 for some reason and it feels like i only got 2 hours of sleep anywyas i sit next to my mum she got mad i didnt say anything and started to get mad on i stink and i should be clean inside soul and out i gotta pray? so insted of a good morning your finally up? its a lash out of you gotta be clean pray and shit cool i have a normal mom "you should shower" um bitch i just got the fuck up dont you see? wow google made my day better with:

Your account will be deleted in 29 days

[email protected]

Your account doesn’t work because you’re not old enough to have an unsupervised Google Account.

If you made a mistake entering your birthday, you can correct it. Otherwise, you’ll lose access to your photos, Gmail, and everything else in your Google Account.

Choose an option

Correct my birthday

You’ll need a credit card or government-issued ID

Save my stuff before it’s deleted

Download content from your Google Account

i am 16 is that to young?

omfg stop bombing me with questions on where ill live if i move out or where i wanna go she keeps asking where ill live if i move out

6/30/26 post: allright we get it you love adele sue

im being huanted by my dead grandmother atp i swear i dont listen to adele on last fm how do i have 4 total scrobbles and spotfit on the very bottom of top tracks this month yep its an adele song ok very funny sue when do u get time to haunt my laptop or my account on adlele this is getting weird look i know ur dead so please dont mess with my music trackers and stuff.. i just find it werid for her to do this givein shes a huge adele fan what is she trying to tell me.. i relized in 2029 wich will be in 3 years it will be a decade since her passings its just very odd.. also lately my "mom" loves to call me mất dạy every single fucking day its annoying really and it pisses me the fuck off im sick of her she isnt my mother i cant belive were related.. you dont see me being like her we got nothin in common.

6/29/26 post: mom not momming like allways

no title yet but its monday who gives a fuck its summer break monday still ok mabye i do gave kinda a fuck but still its 1am some hours after the last post let me tell u something dev does help. ima keep it short n sweet a bit for atleast the start of the post she helps. if only i can hug and thank her real well wait i can hehe dreamin her is next to me ill take real good care of her shes out of print too sadly well come here you. 11:43 now i just want a normal mom for once i asked what were gonna do this week i didnt get a real ans but a full on lecture on grandma is getting older and sicker and same with my uncle is getting sick and older i should see them i told her no and shut up she doesnt shut up omfg.. keeps rambleing and rambleing on oh if your old whos gonna see me whos gonna help youll be alone. bitch thats what i want ive had enough of you allredy i WANT to be alone. oh bu thats the devil thats makes you like that your choices dont matter cuase its bad its not good choice go ask god for help W-WH-WHARE DID GOD COME FROM A S I M P L E FUCKING QUESTON ON WHAT WERE GONNA DO THIS WEE- WH-HAT?!??!??!? i cant stnad this bitch

6/28/26 post: im huanted thanks kind ghost

soo i just ended a discord call then all of a sudden my soundcore pi30 started playing get with me by rise from my s24 fe werid I never had any music app open yes i even clicked end bg process un thanks ig ghost mabye the ghost knew I needed music as a stimulation for me i barely listened to music lately well for the past days i saw nothing but reels on sprits and that there allways there with you even ones that you love and passed away there around and shit if ykyk on insta but i have a feeling my grandmother yes grandmother not grandMA but grandmother sue prob has been trolling me lately i forgot what happend but some stuff was unnormal like how i was haveing a somewhat bad day all of a sudden my plushie fell and actally landed in my lap uh.. sue i am not a kid im a mature 16 over here but thanks or that one time as mentiond in my older post before i said i had adele stuck in my head and never knew she loved adel like alone one day spotfiy randomally shuffled to adele i dont listen to that singer but 2 tracks back to back once so i knew sue was trolling me come on let me enjoy my fav devin star tails over here but ok sure since ur dead go play adele over my dev hours gosh SO-REy gosh sometimes i have no idea what shes doing prob enjoying the troll... so uh i accdently conncted my laptop to my big monitor didnt know my mom would throw a fit on a dev wallpaper saying see u follow like snake like devil you wear makeup and dress not nice see u follow n shit.. so i dont have my own mind ever and i just follow ppl shes like u dont know ur limits soon ull be naked is what shes hinitng then she told me to take my toughts on leaveing her in 2 years cuase its not good and not doang honag well you would wonder why i wanna leave i endure so much shit on her ofc i wanna leave soon as possble but she says its not good that i wanna leave why is that? liveing with my mother isnt good for my mental helth allredy so i allmost cried and she called me stupid.. i tought moms suposed to comfrt you if i cry or show emotions or talk back its allways "nam qua dung noi di khong hay" hay la me coung no "giep di ruat la nam khong co ai ma mouc ho hang hay theo no thuat no ra di dau oc khong sac nin hinh vay giam con ran qi quet va thang diem va nung toc khong co dang honag va bo thu toung ve bo me di 2 nam khong tot cau cua them doc khing di" and then she just goes on and on like that shit fine i did wrong the devil makes me think all this im just a mindless being who follows mom was right im wrong im crying i shouldnt she said its stupid and lame to cry this topic is not worthy to cry bc of the devil.. i swear i gotta plan my runaway escape she kept yelling at me calling me a copycat calling me the devil..

6/23/26 post: allmost stuck

allmost stuck at Lincoln city here flat tire and I heard we wont be going to Michigan duento my mother darn but we allmost got stuck due to the tire couldnt be fixed the guy told all 3 of us that it was a gamble to go home.. its 6:30pm rn my phone is at 62% atleast i brought my new dsi xl I got some days ago at game on play on for 160$ and modded myself gosh the dsi games are 40 bucks or 33 on amazon who the fuck is buying that.. oh well we only live bout an hour away well atleast we fixed it but why is my phone at 60% now? I have all bg apps and process closed no bg apps why the fuck? Also my phone is kinda warm.. eh oh well dsi time i cant find another game that is good as pokemon platnuim for the dsi sadly its not a 3ds and i wanted to play smash bros or new leaf or even kid iccarus upspring oh well.. or even manjoras mask i heard its some what good im not much of a zelda fan tho i have played link akwaining and totk for the swich was mid ngl i havent listend to dev in forever now prob a month nor week and how the hell i got booty bounce stuck in my head dev be spawning in ramdomally "cant do it like me poppin bottles in the ice like a blizzard dj put that bracket on thats my song thats my shit"-dev did i forget to mentiond it was like 58 at the beach and 91 here in pdx and it was foggy as hell at the beach prob one of the worst exp i had there and if you dont rember i hate the beach in genral im not a fan persay espechlly i hate water and getting wet in genral so i try to advoid pools tho ill let hottubs slide *wink wink*

6/21/26 post: parents fighting again...

for the 100th time everything is bout marrage my parents are fighting at eachtoher still they been doing this pretty much since i was born all bc my dad talked about he wants to go to mishigun and take me for 5 days so he can see his ol school frined my "mother" shes fake she thinks hes gonna take me to get a bf ok first of all i told her i wanna be single even as an adult many of times second i cant rember the last time i was in a plane since 2018 tho if we leave her home im worried shes gonna throw away my shit and break my things.. but if she goes with ugh there is no win move "treat like dog not human dont know what devil mean"-mother figute blah blah blah cahlioc stupid forrest human as she says typeing in real time quotes i can type fast as words come now many of times i wanna step in yell at everyone to STFU im sick of it im sick of being the one on the side who have to witness and hear this i want this fight to end not me to end ...yet marrage marrage marrage junk frined devoices blah blah blah etc past decade she says devoice and yet why is she still here.. stupid mother fuckers i got over whelmed as she yelled at me and i did nothing wrong myself i couldnt take her crtizim any more so i screamed back and she got mad excuse me why are you the one whos mad you did it to me for how many years u got no rights so its my turn im sick of it IF YOU WANNA SCREAM WELL PLAY IT THAT WAY also i lost my apptie she thinks its bc once again im lazy but its her voice while shes yelling at me now shes like what voice my voice is normal sure then why the fuck you are so loud and idk then you called me hon lao i think ur hon lao not me i have to deal with your bullshit for 16 fucking years what do you deal with? uh-huhh i want her out of my life NOW also you told me not to blame anyone and yet you blame him for makeing me hear all of your bullshit? how does that work your a fucking hippcorte or how ever its spelled take your own advice why u teah and make me do it but you dont do? exactly your words back at you learn it asshole im done flighting ima fight this time even if its vilonce why the years and my whole life ive been doing the flight option come on i wanna do fight for once and she compaied just now we had a fight just the two of us about how she never brought me into the convo and its not about me then why was i mentiond on a bf n shit? lair lair dont down play it you claim its just you and him uhhh-huh sure manye of both of yall stfu i wouldnt hear shes like then dont listen to yeah. uh sorry you make it sound like i had a choice to go deaf?

6/19/26 post: summer boring

well its been since sunday since i last went outside i was gonna today but my mom makes me wear a jacket that cover my arms and chest due to the sun and shit when i dont wanna and i just wanna wear what i have she got mad bc i told her no over and over like omfg stfu i said NO do you need to keep telling me to?? she got mad and was like your staying home then ill go alone to the store.. man i wanted to go to target too shell be close anyways i havent been to target in MONTHS so im home alone again kinda nice but,, im fucking bored and its been weeks i got no txts from anyone saying "hi" or let alone talking to me.. what a boring ass summer i feel like im wasteing away alone so i put on my eyeliner and turn off my video editing software today for nothing ugh stupid not even the bare minimum is saying "hi" wich is 2 letters that hard? everyone fucking lazy let alone i hate every year ppl ask me every single fucking time "what are you gonna do this summer" "you got any plans for the summer?" uhhh do i control my summer? i either try to ignore the questions and or i just say IDFK OK geez stop asking me every year ppl why does it matter to you if i do or not why ? im soo tired lately even tho i do nothing now its hard to think about the future for some reason for the past 4 years im just trying to get today and this moment over with so the next can happend no notfactions no nothing dead notfactions.. i hope the other ppl are haveing there time of life (wich i mean by is fun) like i said a zillon of times the state im in is a scafrice for others to not be like me.. im allways londgeing for love and a sense of beloning i just want atleast 1 person who knows me who loves me who relates and help me whos allways there for me and doesnt judge me i.. its to much to ask for and im sorry ill never get it i know i need to stop hullanateing i should stop saying what i want it sounds like im trying to make a stroy like the anime nana or the main char im not even a char tbh i need to stop fantasizeing or how ever its spelled this is "the real world" not some anime not some natsumi mukai story not some music video tho i allways feel like this inst the real world ever since 2019 gosh thats allmost a decade ago i feel like this is a dream that i cant wake up from each day.. im loseing memories of you *sobs while typeing* ever since my grandmother passed in 2019 now its like my memories are being wiped as they come and go make me rember make me keep it I D O - N O T - W A N T - N E W - M E M O R I E S take me back to the good times i DO NOT WANNA SEE MORE OF THE NEW WORLD TAKE ME BACK

6/18/26 post: fuck you google

soo im loseing my main email in some days bc it thinks im under 13 when im not heck if it makes you feel better ill even be legal in 2 years 2 fucking years i dont own a card nor an id so i cant verfiy so i was moveing all my accounts and i never relized how hard it was and i have to wait a fucking week to move my discord outlook and yt channel why is that its fucking stupid im in a rush well discord wouldnt let me move mine due to it being glitchy but outlook aswell but yt makes u wait a fucking week before i can change my brand as primany owner i even downloaded all my google photos photos i took no breaks last night aswell yestday and i was up till allmost 3 like allways gosh ever since its summer break it feels like filler eps if you rember i think my life like a show a series like my street or some anime for example like rn im on like s16 ep: ??? title of yestday was called: google freak out age this is like a part 3 givein i was sent the email 2 nights ago at 1 in the fucking morning dude let alone i lost my live stream as it thinks im a kid h- you know im not gonna fight it i had 6 years of data worth my parents think its a scam so there like no so i was like forget it there also like just make a new email simple... yea... "simple" you do know what the word "NEW" means? you know what google fuck you im never useing cloud storage id rader spent like im 120$ ssd for a reason i got many years back i even have a cheap adapter to usb so take that you cant get to my house or lock me hoe i allways had beef with google since i started useing it back in 3d grade they think im stupid but i can just move some of my shit to another email i really miss back in my day we never had age verfaction the only thing we had was on websites or games saying are you 18? yes ok cool start or enter your brith date? your right age ok cool your in what ever happend to that and if so why dont we just do age verfaction form the start? im too old for this shit like i feel like im on a set of one of my fav tv shows i grew up with modrn family man id allways love phill as i called him when i was a kid well i was stupid phill the bill.. gloria hella funny and manny boy.. tho i feel like im in that show ish but i talk like i have an aud as i look like theres a camra and setting up plots.. yeah am i even ok ive been doing this for a very long time ill never forgive google i relized i fucked up moveing to a brand account as i never relized it was sliplit between yt and yt music so ill lose my current 34 dev hours and 2 years badges i mean what would dev do knowing her she wouldnt verfiy girl is to cool for anything "fuck the haters gimie some love" real mature dev real mature i allways think what my idol would do in genral idk if i made the right choice but i feel sad and very bad due to the dev sacrfice would dev be proud i saved my brand ?

Trending Blogs

Recently Viewed Blogs

⛤StarLighte offcail