Yuuri isnāt just a badass heās also a good person. The reason he can come acrossĀ ācoldā is because of his degree of self-loathing, which causes himself to sometimes not acknowledge how much people around him care about him (something he works on as the series goes on! this is a big part of his character arc). Itās got nothing to do with his view of other peopleās value of individuals and how much he cares about them and everything to do with how he views himself. He has trouble forming connections with others because he views himself as someone people wouldnāt want to form connections with. This is not necessarily okay, but itās literally a huge part of his character arc!! He becomes so much better about this as the series goes on, and itās wonderful to see.Ā
Hereās the thing about Yuuri Katsuki. Heās a selfless person, to a fault. People completely misread theĀ āIāll let the whole world hate meā scene. Itās not about selfish love. Itās not about possessive love. Itās about making a choice between caring about how people perceive you and not caring about how people perceive you.Ā
Yuuri thinks that if he goes out there and skates his best, people are going to hate him, see him as taking Victor from the world. He says so what, fuck that. Itās more important to me that I reach my goal. Iād rather me be hated than Victor be hated anyway. Hate me for taking Victor from the world, fine. I just want to skate. Iād rather skate and be hated than have you like me and give up on doing something I love. To help himself in that situation, to give himself confidence, he reminds himself that he is the only person who does know Victorās love the way he does, which is absolutely true. He reminds himself of the love he has in his life. That itās unique. Thatās itās special.Ā
āVictor is the first thing Iāve ever wanted to hold onto.ā
Victor is the first thing heās ALLOWED himself to hold onto (and even then, he tries to let him go later on because heās self-sacrificing).Ā
Thereās nothing selfish about thatā or possessive, or anything of the sort. Itās someone looking at adversity and goingĀ āmy goal is more important to me than your perception of meā, and for someone as self-deprecating as Yuuri, someone who has struggled with forming emotional connections because they havenāt felt like people wanted to form emotional connections with them due to their own lack of self worth, this is a HUGE DEAL. Itās awesome.
Allowing Yuuri to in a sense, claim something as his, is actually a triumphant moment for him, because he rarely does this. Itās good and right. Yuuri is often selfless to a fault. When he saysĀ āI wish to eat pork cutlet bowls with youā we applaud him. When Yuuri wants something and expresses it, we CHEER for him.
Yuuri spends the entire last third of the series trying to sacrifice Victor despite the fact that Victor, to the audience, CLEARLY wants to stay with him. But Yuuri, darling Yuuri, due to his own anxiety and self-worth issues, sees himself as holding Victor back. HeĀ āwants to stay in figure skating with Victor foreverā, but heās willing to give up everything he loves so Victor can be happy, no hesitations. He smiles, he doesnāt cry. Heck heās willing to be called selfish without argument even though thatās obviously nonsense. Heās confident in this decision because itās just whatās right to him. Heās wrong because itās not what Victor wants, but never doubt that Yuuri is a good person, a selfless person, who would give up anything in an instant for someone he loves.Ā
Yuuriās mental illness informs a lot of who he is, and it causes him to stumble and sometimes make it LOOK like heās undervaluing people but heās undervaluing himself, and heās such a good person and heās so filled with love. Heās loving and supporting and sometimes he just needs to find a way to express it and realize that it surrounds him and people love him in return, and the show is so much about that. Donāt underestimate how good a person Yuuri Katsuki is.
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