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YOU ARE THE REASON
trying on a metaphor
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"I'm Dorothy Gale from Kansas"
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I'd rather be in outer space 🛸
d e v o n
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@diaisboredaf
don't listen to them babe just keep opening more tabs in your browser
let’s play another tag meme thing! put each word into your tags and see what pops up:
pretty head why when where shit you stop how for they super
english tourists are causing problems again
The history of Earth has never been summed up so succinctly before.
wow this reblog is funnier than my entire blog
Me playing Pokemon 10 years ago:
Oh man if only pokemon was real I WOULD BE THE VERY BEST my fucking overlevelled team of 6 dragons eats these pussy-ass NPC youngsters for breakfast, I would be a fucking GODDESS among men, I would tame the fiercest legendaries of every region and scale the ranks of every league and maybe one day when I’m older even settle down somewhere and open my own gym-
Me playing pokemon now:
Dude how amazing would it be to just. .. own a tiny house somewhere near the Kalos flower fields. Have my Poliwrath help me water my crops. I wish I could wake up and comb my alolan Dugtrio’s mane before I start the day…. My Sunfloras may not be that great in battle but look how happy they are, greeting the first morning light…!
Hey is that a young trainer coming this way? His team looks tired, I bet one of my freshly-baked Tropius banana pies could heal ‘em right up… he’ll probably need this TM more than I do, too…
you either die the hero or live long enough to see yourself become the NPC
favorite bits of the cast interviews in the LOTR special features:
Dominic Monaghan, Billy Boyd, Elijah Wood and Viggo Mortensen all taking the piss out of Orlando Bloom for going on about a cracked rib too much, while Orlando Bloom desperately tries to wriggle out of talking about it (special mention to Elijah Wood’s “oh it hurts, babes, and I can’t ride the horse, babes” and Viggo Mortensen’s “they can be very fragile, elves, especially the…Mirkwood strain…”)
Ian McKellen commenting that “they never did find any suitable underwear for Gandalf…”
Dominic Monaghan going on and on about how Viggo Mortensen apparently had a crush on one of the Rohirrim extras (who like a lot of the Rohirrim extras was a woman in a fake beard) while Vigoo Mortensen just mutters “one could perhaps say something about Mr. Monaghan’s…proclivities…”
Dominic Monaghan’s imitation of John Rhys-Davies ordering food at a restaurant for the whole cast. “You have partridge? BRING THE PARTRIDGE!”
John Rhys-Davies talking about an incident with the Lothlorian boats and saying “if an elf and a dwarf are in a boat…and…the boat goes under…let us say that the blame was not placed on the elf” while Orlando Bloom splutters “he’s a big guy, man!”
Elijah Wood talking about how the hobbit actors shared a trailer with Ian McKellen and sometimes they would hear inarticulate bellows of protest from his side when they played loud music in the mornings
Viggo Mortensen talking about how, while filming with those same boats, Kirin Shaw (Elijah Wood’s scale double) started telling him “if the boat tips over…save yourself…I can’t swim.”
Elijah Wood describing how Sean Astin would try to direct the helicopters to land while they were on location, while the other three hobbits were screwing around and throwing pinecones at each other
Christopher Lee recounting how he had so much trouble going up some steps in Orthanc with his long robe that he stopped in the middle of the scene and said, “I cannot get up these goddamn steps, Peter.”
Viggo Mortensen mentioning that he left a weekend rehearsal and went walking down the street still swinging his sword around, and promptly got the cops called on him
#i literally hold every film up to the standard of lotr#including the quality of extras#and literally no other film will ever compare#fucking legends
In Bruce’s defense, anyone who blames him for putting his children in the line of fire does not like…get his children.
Bruce adopting and training these kids is absolutely the only thing standing between them and even EARLIER deaths than the ones in canon that they all basically just…refuse to let stick.
Like, these are six incredibly determined little dumbasses.
Dick Grayson: breaks out of juvie and runs around rooftops tracking down the mob boss that ordered his parents killed in order to ruthlessly avenge them when he’s EIGHT.
Jason Todd: at age twelve, is caught stealing the tires off the goddamn BATMOBILE and upon being caught, his first instinct is NOT flight, its HIT THE GODDAMN BATMAN WITH HIS TIRE IRON.
Tim Drake: as early as age ten, spends his free time running around Gotham’s rooftops and back alleys stalking Batman and Robin with his clunky camera and absolutely no prior experience or training in either acrobatics or surviving Gotham’s back alleys.
Cassandra Cain: Upon learning Lady Shiva is her mother, ignores Batman yelling CASSANDRA NO and tracks down the most lethal and feared woman on the planet and bullies her into training her further, with Shiva going okay but then we gotta battle to the death and Cassandra going sure, makes sense, when do we start.
Damian Wayne: Early in life, is ordered to hunt and fight a bunch of dragon-type creatures. Adopts one as his pet. Finally meets his father, who does not trust him. Steals the Batmobile. Is fired from Robin and forbidden to leave the Manor for his protection while there’s a hit on his life. Calls himself Redbird and resumes Robin duties, citing that he was only forbidden from leaving as ROBIN, specifically. Is sent home during an attack on the city by a zombie army. Turns around and wades into the zombie army on his own. Etc, etc.
Duke Thomas: At age ten, the Riddler shuts down all the power in Gotham and says he’ll only restore it if bested with a riddle. Duke hears this and decides, this is a job for…Duke Thomas. Around age fifteen, he’s put in the foster system after his parents are affected by the Joker’s mind-altering gas during an attack, hears that some of the Joker’s victims have been found wandering around the sewer system that’s noted for being home to like….a cannibalistic crocodile villain, among other things, thinks well, guess I gotta go personally cover every inch of Gotham’s sewers on my own, by foot. Accidentally stumbles across a plot to bomb all of Gotham and decides, this is a job for…Duke Thomas. Etc, etc.
In summation, the Batkids’ shared family trait is Absolute Dumbassery and a Willful Disregard for Self-Preservation, and no, they do not accept constructive criticism. Bruce’s training them all as his partners was 40% fatalism, 60% Hail Mary.
He actually tried getting Dick to choose colors for his costume that would actually blend into the shadows, and eight year old Dick went nah, I’m gonna stick with bright red, yellow and green, thanks though.
He actually tried teaching Jason Todd how to prioritize speed and evasion against bigger opponents, and 5′4″ Jason Todd went nah, I’m just gonna punch ‘em, thanks though.
He actually tried sending Tim home when Tim first showed up, and Tim went nah, I’m just not gonna do that, thanks though.
He actually tried getting Cassandra to be more careful and selective about inserting herself into every single dangerous situation she came across, and Cass went, sorry, lost my phone when I weaponized it against the bad guys and also I’m in Hong Kong right now about to face off with my killer mom, see ya when I get back, bye.
He actually tried benching Damian repeatedly, and Damian went, LOL. No.
He actually tried stressing to Duke the importance of leaving dangerous situations to the professionals, and Duke kept showing up at every dangerous situation in Gotham and being like oh hey, so weird we keep running into each other.
Every time another adult hero clucks at Bruce disapprovingly and says he really should’ve kept his kids out of the hero life, Bruce’s eye twitches and he grinds out: “Oh gee. If only I’d thought of that.”
#like father like son
Fleur Delacour had the most impressive performance in the First Task of the Triwizard Tournament, imo, and it is a Crime that she came in last place. Like, sure, maybe what she did took awhile and it wasn’t flashy, but imo she did by far the most impressive, difficult, and most humane piece of magic.
Like, there’s this pissed off dragon mother, right? It’s been boxed up, taken to this strange place, then stuck in a noisy arena where its eggs are being threatened. This dragon is probably Unbelievably scared and angry.
It can take 4-8 adult wizards working in tandem to Stun a dragon, especially a pissed off one, but Fleur “fairy princess” Delacour walks into that arena, stares down an angry apex predator, and somehow manages to single-handedly enchant it to sleep. This Common Welsh Green is surrounded by hundreds of people, needs to protect its eggs, but Fleur Delacour’s magic manages to override all of its fear and anger? That is an incredible feat of powerful and probably very complex magic.
Like, no wonder Fleur Delacour can come off as condescending, that is mind-blowingly impressive. That is the work of 4-8 adult wizards. You cannot tell me that the watching dragon-handlers were not LOSING THEIR MINDS.
Between sexism and Fleur being part-Veela, it is unfortunately very realistic that she faces a lot of prejudice, but come on, Professors Sprout and Hagrid and etc. must have been going wild. It’s only some very bad luck that her skirt was accidentally set on fire. She got the golden egg. There was zero damage to the dragon or to the real eggs. Even if Madame Maxime and Fleur worked together to prepare it, Fleur still had to do it, and Madame Maxime would have been so rightly furious that Fleur’s bravery and magical skill wasn’t recognized.
Anyway, part of where I’m going with this, is that this injustice also creates some choice eldest Weasley brother reactions. Like Bill Weasley is writing his regular letters to Charlie, right? And he happens to mention, “Hey, I met this woman at work, with that guardian beast problem with that tomb I was telling you about. Do you remember the Beauxbatons Champion, Fleur Delacour?”
And Charlie Weasley writes back like, “DO I REMEMBER FLEUR DELACOUR? ARE YOU KIDDING ME?! WE HAVE A POSTER OF HER ON OUR WALL! I HAVE HER GRADUATING CHARMS THESIS ON CALMING MAGICAL CREATURES AND I WANT IT SIGNED. SHE REVOLUTIONIZED OUR DEALINGS WITH DRAGONS HERE. INJURIES ON THE RESERVE FOR DRAGONS AND HANDLERS ARE DOWN BY LIKE 75% SINCE WE BEGAN IMPLEMENTING HER SPELLWORK.”
“Uh, alright then. Well, you can send that to me and I will ask her to sign it for you,” Bill Weasley, an extremely successful Curse-Breaker, writes back. (It isn’t that he doesn’t find Fleur Delacour accomplishments very impressive, it is just that the poster on the wall thing is a Bit Weird.) “That’s not going to be weird when I ask her out or anything. Wish me luck.”
And Charlie writes back, “LUCK? LUCK?! WILLIAM WEASLEY, IF YOU DON’T MARRY THAT WOMAN, I’LL DISOWN YOU. TELL HER THAT IF GRINGOTTS DOESN’T APPRECIATE HER, SHE CAN COME TO ROMANIA. WE’RE BROKE, BUT I HAVE A DOZEN MUSCLED WIZARDS, WITCHES, AND OTHERS READY TO PROPOSE TO HER ON THE SPOT.”
“I was thinking dinner first,” Bill writes back. “But I’ll let her know?”
So, Fleur initially has to deal with a lot of crap from the Weasley Family, but at least she’s always got Charlie “Number One Fleur Delacour Fan” Weasley in her corner. You’ll catch Uncle Charlie excitedly telling the story of Fleur Delacour in the First Task to Bill’s children forever.
(Charlie: “IF YOU DON’T MARRY HER THEN I WILL!”
Bill: “Charlie, you’re not even into women.”
Charlie: “WHAT DOES THAT HAVE TO DO WITH THE MOST IMPRESSIVE DRAGON-HANDLING I’VE EVER SEEN IN MY LIFE?!!”)
@deadcatwithaflamethrower - thought you might like to see this. :D
i hate this fucking website because every time this appears
my stupid shitfuck idiot brain immediately screams
Tumblr mobile really enhances the experience of this post
stop making deep gay movies 2k19 I want my gays kissing while swinging on a grappling hook from generic sci fi alien monster #12 so I don’t have to think about jackshit
So, quantity over quality?
nah I just don’t want the same exact plot line of “woman meets woman. woman is married and straight! why does she feel attracted to her if straight? the word bi doesn’t exist and she cheats on her husband for two hours then someone dies or they never see each other again” for wlw and “just straight up pedophilia or abuse” for mlm. I want fun gay movies w out tragedy. deep gay movies like moonlight are good and needed but “deep” gay movies like call me by your name or blue is the warmest color have gotta go.
also a lot of ppl just prefer sci fi/fantasy to drama and there should be more genre options for gay movies than just period dramas or tragedies
like think of the highest profile gay movies and how godawful depressing most of them are and how if you watched even a few of them in a row you would be crying on the floor from the non stop artistically shot gay trauma set to sad music. Straight people get love stories in literally everything, gay people get love stories in coming of age/coming out tear jerkers or full on tragedies about repressed or emotionally damaged adults. I want to see a movie with a gay love story in it and come out of it not emotionally exhausted and wanting to die lol. please and thank you.
DIVERSITY DAMNIT
its like, straight people get to have so many cheesy romance movies. just cute stuff with no “deeper meaning”. they get to have romantic subplots in like,,, every genre of movie. action, fantasy, scifi. just cute and cheesy romances where no one is being hurt. and like. gay people deserve that too my dude. we deserve to have cute high school romances and two high elves falling in love
Watch: Kristen Bell opens up about the mental health double standard and how she manages her own struggle.
Follow @this-is-life-actually
Hit reblog on this so hard
SHOUT OUT TO KRISTEN BELL’S MOM THOUGH? WHAT KIND OF FANTASTIC SELF-AWARE PARENTING, WELL DONE MA'AM
@Zendaya Y’all gon leave me and my typos alone
today is bi visibility day ✌️. don't forget to stan bider-man
Fuck all romance except whatever the fuck that lil cowboy and roman guy from night at the museum had going on
I want to apologise to
- Britney for making fun of her when she had her breakdown
- Monica Lewinski for judging her when she was a 22year old temp sexually assaulted by the most powerful man in the world
- Ke$ha for ever thinking she was trashy when all she wanted to do was make party music
- Kristen Stewart for ever thinking she was dumb when she’s actually one of the coolest people ever
- Megan Fox for ever thinking she was just a slut when actually she was an actress being harassed by her employer.
- Hating all the women who made a career out of having a hot body. Being is shape is hard, beauty is a weapon and auto promotion is hard work.
- All the Mary-Sues, who exist because young girls everywhere want to be part of a story they love so much
- All the female characters I ever snobbed because they got in the way of my ship.
- Hating the color pink during my teenage years, when it’s actually a lovely color and what I resented was society’s pressure to perform femininity.
God i wish all real life billionaires were more like tony stark 😩
its been 15 days since i made this post and in them both jeffrey epstein & david koch died maybe this site really is cursed after all
there was one more istg if fbi puts me on a watchlist,
oh my Godddd five in 17 days
like to charge reblog to cast
Oh my god
depression: kill yourself
Me: kill me yourself you coward