DiamondDoesTmblr

Actor, Model, Creative Consultant

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Today looks differently to different poly people around the world.

Some of them will be going on a group date, maybe double dating, focusing on one partner, or -like me- prefer to be alone on Valentines Day. Each dynamic is unique and should be celebrated in accordance with those differences.

That said, here are 5 Tips for Your Next Poly-Holi-day:

1) Create a comfortable and inviting space for you and your partners (and your partner's partners) to have an open conversation. I know during COVID this might look like a group date over zoom, but make sure to do something special.

Example: Put together different hot cocoa packets & toppings with a mug to send to each party involved. Be sure to include a handwritten date & time for your coordinated cocoa call!

2) Talk to your partners to see if your expectations align with theirs. It's important to clarify details.

Example: "Do you want to stay in or go out?" and "Are you wanting to see multiple partners this day or just spend it with your primary?"

3) Listen to what they have to say. It's our responsibility as partners to keep our minds and hearts open, even when it's something we don't want to hear.

Example: Maybe you really wanted Valentines Day to be just between you and your primary, but they want to spend it with multiple partners.

4) Make a plan even if it means making a compromise. Be sure to write down as many details as possible; the more clarity, the better.

Example: Let's say the above primaries agreed to spend the day together, have their partners over for dinner, then decide to split ways with their nonprimaries for dessert. From there they should also work out what the details are for each portion of the day with that individual partner.

5) Be mindful of all the people in your heart. You've all come together to enhance each other's experience in this life.

Example: If you don't wind up spending the holiday with nonprimary partners, set aside two to four times throughout the day that you and your primary send messages to your other partners. Holidays can be especially rough for some nonprimary partners.

I hope that everyone had a wonderful Valentines Day & that this post was helpful.

Goodnight y'all!

[diamonddoestmblr]

Today was a rough one. In no way has it been bad, but it's been a lot.

Wednesdays are my weekly collection release days. Because of my schedule I haven't set an exact time for my releases, but they always happen.

There was so much to be done today and if I'm being honest not everything got done. The chores at my house remain neglected as I focused purely on the release, laundry, and social interactions.

(No, not in person, these are still COVID-times.)

Despite being fairly simple, it takes quite a lot of work and a good amount of touch to get everything ready for a release, so where as that did take a good bit of time, I did have one particular conversation today that lasted over an hour.

Oh, and when I say laundry, I mean I did two weeks worth of clothes and my bedding, so it was an all day thing.

These lengths of conversations aren't uncommon in my life. I have such wonderful, beautiful, talented friends and they all deserve my full attention.

Now you may be wondering who grabbed so much attention from me today. It was the beautiful wife of the man I've been seeing recently.

I can imagine out of context that may sound very scary, however we're all polyamorous and in no way was this some sort of confrontation.

Both her and her husband are such wonderful and beautiful people. They're strong, disciplined, sexy, successful, smart, inspiring, and well aligned. (Not to mention they're also cat people!)

It wasn't until here recently that she had reached out to me through one of the social medias. Since they're newer to the lifestyle I wanted her to be comfortable enough before talking to me, so I hadn't reached out myself.

Besides, it had only been a couple of dates and I know it's hard dating in the poly community when you live in a conservative state. It's much better to be apprehensive at first in these kinds of situations. Just like dating in any situation, many people are just not the right fit. Until someone that does fit well into your dynamic comes along it can be quite discouraging.

I've had so many crazy experiences with polyamory. Whether my own or just stories from my poly peers. Everything from someone claiming polymory as a way to cheat on their spouse to, despite clearly defined boundaries, trying to break marriages.

It saddens me that we don't get to hear about healthy poly relationships very much. It's such a magical thing to experience. When everyone loves each other and everyone's boundaries are not only communicated, but respected.. I can't even begin to describe the level of uplifting it is.

All this said, just as healthy polyamory tends to do, they've inspired me. I have an idea for a book that I want to write. Something to bring more representation and light to both polyamory and nonbinary. (Which is what I identify as. Pronouns do not matter to me: they/she/he.)

Though I'm not sure how to tell them that they've inspired this within me (because I want this to book to be about a relationship developing well into long term polyamory and I don't want them to feel any pressure that the book is about them specifically), I am thankful and grateful for that spark needed to ignite those passionate ideas that writers stay up too late writing about.

Thank you both, I am so lucky.

[diamonddoestmblr]

This is a quote I heard here recently that really resonated with me.

As many may know, and many may not, I'm recently divorced. For many years I tried to make our toxic marriage work, desperately attempting to become a healthy power couple.

During the years I spent married, many of my minutes were filled with doubt and constant questioning.

"How could he feel that he couldn't be himself when all he did was try to erase & replace my sense of self?"

"How much longer can my heart hold on?"

"Is he conscious of his toxicity?"

"Who even is he?" "Who am I?"

"What's going to happen if he never pulls out of his dark cloud?"

After years of nothing but questions I have entered into my years of answers.

Though he was never diagnosed (because he always refused to stay in therapy), I have no doubt that my ex-spouse was a covert narcissist.

After reconnecting with society I realized the reason he had isolated me. My friends would never have remained silent about how he'd been treating me & I wouldn't have stayed with him for so long.

Whether or not he was conscious of his manipulation I'll never know, but the answer I've found is that it ultimately doesn't matter. Either way it doesn't make his behavior any less disturbing.

I did find out that he was someone who had no sense of self-identity. The deeper I looked the more I noticed the shallowness of his being.

As for who I am? Well like many of us, self-discovery is a lifetime journey. I'm excited to find out more about myself, but I have embraced the strong identity I'd had before marriage as well as some newer uncoverings. I am polyamorous, pansexual, nonbinary. I love modeling and acting; consulting and creating.

After three years of being followed around by his dark cloud constantly raining on my parade I came to accept that there was nothing I could do to change his weather. I did, however remove myself from his rainy state and my sun came out to shine once again.

These may not be the answers I wanted, but they're the answers I've gotten. They've been empowering and reassuring, despite coming very easily.

Lately I have been rejoicing in this feeling of wholeness. The doubt is gone and I now stand on a sturdy foundation of self.

I'd love to hear what your years of questions have been like and whether or not you're starting to seek your years of answers.

Please feel free to follow me along this journey as our individual paths unfold.

I hope all is well in your realm.

[diamonddoestmblr]

Every Wednesday I release a new collection to my merch site. I’ve just finished uploading the new set: Feelin’ French.

I’ve been playing around with live streaming on different platforms while I set up my shop. Last week I went live on Instagram and today I went live on Facebook. I’d originally wanted to set up on Twitch, but I don’t think that my internet speed is quite fast enough for the platform. Between the two platforms I have used so far I definitely prefer using Facebook. Unfortunately, Instagram doesn’t allow for desktop streaming which is necessary for working with Redbubble & Canva.

If you drop in during one of my streams feel free to comment that you’ve joined from the Feelin’ French collection announcement & I’ll send you a free wallpaper for your phone.

I love how this set turned out and am looking forward to providing y’all with more art that I’m proud of.

Thank you for following me on my journey!

[diamonddoestmblr]

Linktree. Make your link do more.

[diamonddoestmblr]

Hello! My name is Diamond Mia Ischy.

I can be found across the internet through the link attached.

Why would you want to find me?

Well, I'm a bad-ass bitch who doesn't take shit, but I also enjoy wearing fox ears & being snuggly.

I like playing D&D and writing. I'm an actress & model. Occasionally I do costuming. I love baking.

I'm nonbinary (any pronouns work for me), polyamorous, and pansexual.

My mantra is: Progress Not Perfection

If any of this resonates with you, or you just like my look go ahead & follow me on my journey. (:

Linktree. Make your link do more.