Diamond Dogs Informational and Help Services

rp blog(ask box and submissions are open)

[diamonddogposting]

This is Incredible Finch, the new appointed Head of Diamond Dogs Informational and Help Services (DDIHS), reporting for duty.

If you have any questions or need help, please send in the request along with your callsign so that we can get back to you.

Edit: Due to some confusion we have created a template for those who may not understand:

[Your questions/ask/submission/request goes here]

-[Your callsign here(ex: Incredible Finch, Pistol Bobcat, Annoyed Ram, etc.) please do NOT put your full legal name like some soldiers already have]

example:

"There is a leak in the cafeteria!

-Plausible Llama"

Thank you,

-Incredible Finch

edit edit: Hello, due to popular requests, I, Obnoxious Worm (DDIHS Communication Assistant), have convinced Incredible Finch to allow soldiers to send any concerns anonymously! Please do not abuse this privilege <3

And to help avoid confusion, here are the people who you can expect to respond to you ^-^

Obnoxious Worm (Communication Assistant of DDIHS)

Incredible Finch (Head of DDIHS)

Loving Fox (Communication Officer of DDIHS) [Please note that Loving Fox mainly works the in-person desk, and may not always be able to respond]

Polite Jerboa (Translation Officer of DDIHS) [Polite Jerboa handles requests in non-English, she may not speak every language, but she will try her best!]

-Thank you!

-Obnoxious Worm

Note: For any medical emergencies, please head to medical. If you have concerns about the integrity of a soldier, please report directly to Commander Miller or Commander Ocelot. For Big Boss memorabilia, please get in contact with Commander Miller. For personal things like leave, please contact Commander Ocelot. If you wish to speak with Big Boss directly, you will have to rely on finding him on base! Per Boss' request, we no longer take in anything to do with Quiet unless it is important.

[diamonddogposting]

We are out of condoms in the lower level bathrooms again. I think people keep hoarding them.

Reminder: this is a communal supply!

Look, I’m not complaining. I only got two shitty regulation condoms “for the prevention of disease” a month at my last post before I joined here. But this is ridiculous guys.

- Iron Gecko

It's just me and Finch today, so I'll be answering this one!

We have a good condom supplier, so don't sweat it too much! Theres a lot of sex that happens on base, so it's to be expected that some areas, like the lower level bathroom, might run out more frequently than other places. We'd rather people take more than they need, than not any at all, but it is appreciated if people only take what they need.

If you ever notice a communal restroom's condoms or personal hygiene products are low, please let the custodial unit know, and they will make sure to restock as needed.

-Polite Jerboa

[diamonddogposting]

Thank you everyone that came to Commander Ocelot’s birthday party last night. If you drank any punch and are experiencing odd symptoms, please report to medical, but please note there may be a wait due the Diamond Dogs who fell an entire level during the brawl.

Also whoever brought the gift in the purple bag, Commander Miller wants to speak with you.

-Incredible Finch

[diamonddogposting]

Reminder: Commander Ocelot’s Birthday Party Starts in 10 minutes! Please arrive to the LZ in orderly fashion.

[diamonddogposting]

Re: The Ocelot Unit Welcome Party (Un)fortunately it's not the punch...I have no idea how but they managed to procure a very potent aphrodisiac....they said it's necessary to honor pride month coming soon...if anyone heard those loud noises sometimes ago, um, yes it was them. (And if anyone wonders why they haven't seen their comrades in a while...yeah...we had to keep them in quarantine because the effect hasn't worn off...we're working on it.) - Flying Agama

The Ocelot Unit using their knowledge and skills for nothing but homosexual activities yet again.

Well, Commander Ocelot’s birthday is coming up soon, I'm sure that will go well too. Good luck, dear med team o7

-Loving Fox

[diamonddogposting]

uh. regarding the pride month post...what do you mean no one here is cishet? no shade to my queer comrades but i'm pretty straight myself. i mean sure sometimes i wonder what's it's like to be pounded by the boss himself but that's the boss you know? it's not gay if it's him. i'm straight. i'm straight. - roaring crocodile

Straightest Diamond Dogs soldier.

-Incredible Finch

[diamonddogposting]

i am growing quite tired of the burgers here at mother base please tell me we'll get burritos or noodles someday

-dumbass wallaby

To get other food options, simply ask the cafeteria staff to see other available options during standard meal times ^-^

Outside of standard meal times, food is limited, so you may be limited to just burgers.

[diamonddogposting]

new here. accidentally saw commanders going at it in torture room while patrol and i think we made eye contact, should be worried ?

- very scared

Depends on who you made eye contact with, if it was Commander Miller, good luck.

-Incredible Finch

[diamonddogposting]

To whom it may concern,

I am SICK (ha) and TIRED of all of you!! STOP STEALING FROM OUR TESTOSTERONE SUPPLY. YOU DO NOT NEED TO GET MANLIER. You are making the lives of us doctors and your trans comrades infinitely harder!!!

Now, you are lucky Commander Ocelot and Miller are busy doing their…business and Boss’s out. But once that’s all done, I will be reporting this, and Commander Ocelot **WILL** know.

So, if you don’t want to experience firsthand why he’s called “Shalashaska”, I suggest returning what you stole and prepare an apology.

Sincerely,

Flying Agama (and the rest of very tired medical team)

(P.S : if you have partaken in the Ocelot Unit’s welcoming party and are experiencing strange symptoms, PLEASE seek us immediately…)

Not during Pride month

Please stop stealing from base in general, everyone, it also hurts GMP.

Also wasn't the Ocelot Unit "punch" officially banned from base last time it was made, or is this an unrelated issue???

-Loving Fox

[diamonddogposting]

Happy Pride Month!

Pretend this was posted on the first. Somebody lost the login.

‐Incredible Finch

Diamond Dogs Pride Month Fun Fact: No one on base is cishet.

[diamonddogposting]

ooc: I'll try and answer and schedule some asks today, I had work yesterday and it drained the hell out of me :p

[diamonddogposting]

If I wrote a Commander Ocelot a love letter, does anyone know if he’d be receptive to it? I feel like he’s got something going on with the other commanders I don’t really want to walk into…

- Dormouse

It's kind of like, an open secret that Miller, Ocelot and Boss have some weird thing going on, but it's very much a non-exclusive weird thing, so I guess it doesn't hurt to shoot your shot.

As to if he'd be receptive? There's only one way to find out. I don't think he'll be mad or anything if that's a concern.

-Loving Fox

[diamonddogposting]

Okay, good news: we managed to get rid of it. He said it would come look for us when we died and we would "join the awful abode of lost souls in Carcosa", something weird like that. The basement is safe now.

–Solar Raven

Well that's great. For the base I mean, I'm not sure what that means for you.

-Incredible Finch

[diamonddogposting]

I don't think it's actually a demon, really; it's more like an entity of sorts. It seems his name is Hastur or something. Sorry about the summoning thing... But we can probably send it back, no?

–Solar Raven

((I used the wrong codename on the other ask xd.))

If you can figure out how to send that thing back, please do.

I don't want to bother the Commanders today, they have some thing going on and I don't want to walk in on anything... confidential; and Boss is on a mission.

-Incredible Finch

[diamonddogposting]

Emergency Alert

Do NOT go down to the medical platform lower level oh my GOD.

-Obnoxious Worm

[diamonddogposting]

I think we accidentally summoned a demon. Medical platform, on the basement. Uhm...

–Solar Raven

See, normally, I wouldn't belive this kind of stuff, but given the Man on Fire incedent, and the fact we have a child with psychic abilities on base...

I'll send someone to check.

-Incredible Finch

[diamonddogposting]

hi nyaa :3 i've been adjusting to life here. it's so great!~ unfortunately one of my friends (Bastard Blue Crab) took off his wristband to get a second burger..he was called to Commander Ocelot's office along with other offenders...i haven't heard from him since. my bunkmates refuse to look me in the eyes. what happened and will i ever see him again? - Burning Snow Leopard (previously Burning Raven)(i've been accepted!! ^__^)

Happy to hear you have been adjusting great, and that you made it into the Ocelot Unit!

Your friend will be fine :) When he comes back he might be a bit off, but Commander Ocelot just has such inspiring talks with people :) It's nothing to be worried about :) I've been in trouble before and I turned out just fine :)

-Obnoxious Worm