The other day I was thinking...who am I? Let me rewind a little. A couple of months ago, a youth leader asked each of us who are you? I didn't have a honest answer then and I'm still trying to answer until this day. I do however know that I am a child of God and I know that he calls me his own. But when asked that question I started thinking of what other ppl thought of me. Growing up my aunts and uncles always introduced my sisters and I as the kids who parents died and who they stepped in as Heros to take care of us {rolls eyes}. If you were to ask anyone from my childhood who I was they would say the skinny quiet church girl. In middle school I was the girl who wore uniform in a school that didn't require uniform. For half of high school I was the girl who wore long skirts with the flyest coach shoes. After that I was the fly quiet church girl. In college I was the overly friendly girl who could dress. And now I'm the bougey nurse who's over the top and makes money. I however can't identify as any of those things because I believe to know yourself you must know where you came from. I didn't know neither of my parents so that's out the window. And through most stages that I mentioned prior I was grieving and being abused mentally and emotionally and physically but praise the Lord, I made it out. I mean I could give a basic answer like I'm a sister, a cousin, a person trying to walk the right path to get to heaven but I mean I believe there's something deeper. It bothers me because for so many years of my life my identity was attached to something that reckoned sympathy and grief. (And brownie points for the Haitians...I appreciate them for every single thing they've done but honestly who would want to always be introduced as the kids with no parents.) I'm rambling but whatever. Honestly like I even remember my first line of my college essay was and I quote "my name is blah blah blah and I am a orphan. Both of my parents passed when I was younger". And the rest of the essay was basically a sob story. Like even in my college essay I indentified it as that. Might as well just end this post now because I could continue on and on.
theartofmadeline
areudirty
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