` ʟɪᴄᴇɴsᴇᴅ ᴛᴏ ɪʟʟ.

diane guerrero. 30, actress, intersectional feminist, human rights and immigration reform activist, author, part time inmate, full time FOMO sufferer and jackie cruz's trophy wife.

[dianehtml]

ksgillan:

I win by default? I don’t see how, love. They really are like I would expect this kind of rubbish in Scotland not LA, honestly it’s disappointing. I spoke old fashioned Gaelic and he nearly shit his pants and called me a witch. 

Because I’m just a basic brunette, that’s how. It’s basically just a matter of whose hair color is more overrated and safe to say; there’s too much of us brunnies to go around. I would think it’s the other way around honestly? I always got the vibe that in places like Europe you’ll find that people play it more on the polite and classy side but I guess not. I can’t say I’m surprised by his reaction. If you aren’t agreeing to go home with or allowing them to barricade their face into your tits, that’s usually a good way to send them running for the hills.

[dianehtml]

daisy-chain-ridley:

I haven’t made a pillow fort in so long! Ahh, I’m so jealous. I used to play with my sister and build forts, but it’s been so long. I’m going to have to do that ASAP. Maybe I’ll do that here in my hotel room while I binge the next season of OITNB! Sure, I’ve got filming and stuff to do, but who needs all that when I can pretend to be a kid again!

You really are going to need to check into building a pillow fort sometime soon because there’s nothing like time traveling back to when you were at a more socially acceptable age to build pillow forts and not be questioned as to why. Fuckin’ preach it. Jobs? Real life? Making a living to support myself? Ugh, so overrated. Leave me to my pillow fort making priorities and be gone. Really though, you’ve got a solid plan at hand so let’s see you put this baby into action.

[dianehtml]

woajeremy:

Can’t you do that everyday though? What you do on your down time does not effect anyone. Only your-self and if that is how you want to spend it then all the power to you.

Straight up, I feel like this is something you’d see printed on a t-shirt in Target or something. Definitely an inspiring and civilizing way to put it that I’m considering actually making it into a shirt now just to bluntly yet passively alert everyone that I’ll be lazy as I want to be on my own terms ‘cause it’s my life, my rights. Can I get a hell yeah?

[dianehtml]

imessage 📲 adam.

Adam: You really think I'm gonna tell you no, that you can't? You must not know me at all :P

Adam: That? Hm...well, I don't know. Not sure, really, but I guess...okay, maybe? Haven't been sleeping well while Dusty is with her mom. Got a...not so...good day, coming up in a few days. Lot of work. You know, I'm managing. Thanks for asking though, D. What makes you curious?

Diane: Obviously you weren't going to deny me of it, that's why I took matters into my own hands you see?

Diane: You aren't sleeping well because you're away from Dusty or is there another underlying cause? Whatever the case, you better catch up on your sleep fast. Es muy importante. Although, I know your kind of schedule makes that difficult to accomplish. Also, what's the "not so good day" about? I'm just asking because I feel like we haven't actually got the chance to do a genuine check in with each other these days. I mean it's not an awful thing to know you're at least doing alright from time to time, Hoolio.

[dianehtml]

itstaylorswft:

I’m honestly jealous. I feel like if I were try to make a pillow fort it would turn into a disaster. I am so excited for the premiere!! I’m gonna binge watch it when I get back to LA. 

Uh, are you sure about that, Missy? I feel like you would school my ass in how to properly build a pillow fort because, you’re you and I’m already convinced you can show someone up whenever the opportunity presents itself. Unless it’s like Limbo or something because I’m pretty sure that game is every tall person’s worst nightmare. That plan right there sounds genius. Just be sure to report back with a very honest and well thought out opinion of it, okay? I’m trusting you.

[dianehtml]

omfglauren:

Pillow forts are forever cool, no matter what your age. I am so excited for this premiere, I know I’m going to binge it. Okay, this is going to sound really weird but I have the biggest crush on you. Like literally, Maritza is my favorite character in OITNB. You’re my Latina queen.

Right? I just hope these same words can serve my pillow forts some sort of justice when I’m middle aged and older because I have a feeling people are only going to continually question my motives as I age. This is probably going to sound weird to the power of ten, but I’m 300% completely cool with your professed love and I’m so for being your Latina queen? Honestly though, I do appreciate the support. And let me just say, I obsessively collect Fifth Harmony albums and even more obsessively like all the pictures you guys post on Instagram-- if you can notice me past the other ten million girls trying to fight for your attention.

[dianehtml]

witnesskatysfame:

I think our reasons our similar. Your new season comes out Friday correct? My new album comes out that day. 

You got it, homegirl. Now that it’s past midnight, both of our big day’s are officially here and I can officially lose all my cool. I’ll definitely be making my way to iTunes later today to listen to your album though because I don’t think I mentioned it, but you’re talking to a Katy Kat. Are you having a release party or anything groovy like that? 

[dianehtml]

imessage 📲 grillz.

Frank: What about Big D? And I don't mean that because of your cup size, that was me trying to make a boss reference, but now I see how badly that turned out so it's back to the drawing board.

Frank: Word on the street, eh? On any normal day I would tell you to ignore what you hear on the street, but in this case they were correct. Thanks so much, Lady D. I might be older but I feel a couple years younger.

Diane: My mind didn't even wander towards the thought of that but I'm liking that you made sure I didn't interpret it that way, that was a good save. So ~gentlemanly~ of you. Okay, hold up, I got this; what about Boss D?

Diane: See, I don't normally tune in to what talk goes on in the streets, but if it's got something to do with someone I happen to give a fair amount of shits about, I need to check into it, you know? That's how I do, patna.

Diane: You're super duper welcome though. How was it?

[dianehtml]

imessage 📲 mommy james.

James: we're pretty much the same person anyway, right? i can gyrate just like patrick swayze, i swear

James: those last two are more of an effect that i have on other people

Diane: i can't believe any of those words until i see it for myself because that kind of talk just requires full proof. without it, you're all talk.

Diane: hardcore, franco. it would be less believable if it wasn't coming from a global heartthrob.

[dianehtml]

Don’t get it twisted, most of the time I’m an adult doing adult things… like working an adult job or drinking an adult cocktail. But on other occasions, I’m a 12-year-old girl building a bitchin’ pillow fort in my living room and watching Bob’s Burgers on Netflix ( exactly how any normal 12-year-old girl would spend her evening, right? ). Are there errands that need to be run and things that need to be done including major prepping for tomorrow’s premiere of OITNB? No shit, but ya girl’s in sweats while coolin’ out in her new luxe fort getaway. Let me resort to the painfully outdated excuse as always though that totally won't save me from being fired but will obviously help take some of the guilt off my conscious: YOLO, aye?

[dianehtml]

imessage 📲 king lucas.

Luke: It has to do with me taking everything from you, not just your life but your identity, too. I'm that kind of King that reigns with cruelty.

Diane: Honestly, I don't think I've ever talked this much bullshit with anyone before you. Actually, that's up to debate, but you catch my drift. Hopefully.

[dianehtml]

imessage 📲 tyler.

Tyler: No definitely not

Tyler: Please don't cancel this, it's something special

Diane: Is it? I'm going to need one good reason why I shouldn't before I make the final decision now.

[dianehtml]

imessage 📲 mommy james.

James: let's get one thing straight, that wont happen, because nobody puts mommy in the corner

James: i wouldn't deserve my nickname if i wasn't well blended right? or should i say churned?

Diane: johnny castle or james franco? we'll never know who is who.

Diane: blended, churned, melted, spread, check you out landing a nickname that has all these open participles to it.

[dianehtml]

imessage 📲 grillz.

Frank: One will come to me when i'm not forcing it on myself. Good things come to those who wait, Lady D. I can't wait for Halloween either....like fuck Christmas, Halloween is where it's at. You gonna do Halloween Horror Nights with me?

Frank: I forgot what we were talking about.

Diane: Ugh, I can already feel my patience thinning out as I wait for a nickname. I never was a good waiter. Uh, how do you say HELL YEAH? How the heck can anyone pass up that opportunity? I'm in.

Diane: Also, yo, word on the street is it's your special day, yeah? Happy birthday to you, spud :)

[dianehtml]

karliekls:

I spent a little more than 24 hours in Austin before getting to Los Angeles and I managed to have the funniest interraction I’ve had in weeks I think. I was at a bar with some friends. And a guy came to talk to me and wouldn’t leave me alone, I was about to kindly asked him to leave me alone when he asked me for my “bestie Taylor’s phone number.” I guess I wasn’t interesting enough. I’ve heard a lot of things, but it’s the first time someone asked me something like that. Anyway, hopefully in Los Angeles that won’t happen again, but who knows, I live a crazy life. Oh and, no I didn’t give him her number. Obviously.

Sheesh, everyone seems to be having round after round with all these strange, amusing, inappropriate encounters at bars. I’m thinking I need to make a trip down to one just spice up my life with any of the above. I can’t blame him for trying but the dude still has some reevaluation to make considering he had a blonde bombshell right in front of him and completely overlooked that opportunity. 

[dianehtml]

ksgillan:

Why do men in pubs think it’s appropriate to ask if the carpet matches the drapes? Like I’m a mad angry ginger with a pint in my hand a pool stick, don’t ask me that. Hi I’m Karen and I am a natural ginger.

Gross. I feel like most men in pubs think it’s appropriate to ask the most inappropriate questions at bars regardless, like it’s just something that comes with the territory and can’t be avoided. How’d you handle it though? ‘Cause times like that call for either a right hook warm up, or pool stick puncture. Or you know, even a good old fashioned kick in the huevos. It’s great to meet you, Karen — I’m Diane. Natural brunette. You win by default.

[dianehtml]

witnesskatysfame:

Are you ready for Friday?

I am actually, but I take it our reasons most likely differ. What’s happening on Friday for you?