Obsessed with BkXXI:383-525 of the iliad actually. This is after Achilles fights a river (and LOSES) before getting rescued by some gods. Then up on Olympus we have a brief little intermission. The girls are fighting
Ares challenges Athena, calling her a gadfly and saying she'll pay for enabling Diomedes stabbing him a few books back. He goes and stabs her shield, and she steps back and knocks him out with a stone. Then she laughs and gloats over his vaguely unconscious body, laughing over how his mom isn't even on his side. Youch. If I were ares I'd just die tbh
THEN. WHILE SHE ISN'T LOOKING. Aphrodite helps ares up and they try to sneak off, but Hera snitches on them both and sics Athena on them. That's so sad actually. Imagine your own mom sending her stepdaughter to body you and your girlfriend. Athena strikes Aphrodite and both her and ares fall to a heap on the ground. Athena continues gloating.
Poseidon sees this and feels left out somehow. My guy turns to his nephew and tries to goad him into fighting, even offering Apollo the first punch because he's older and more experienced. How shameful would it be to go back home without fighting with your nephew. Truly a disgrace. He's me fr. the girls are fighting and so must i. Apollo, smartly, declines this, saying that he'd be insane to fight his uncle over some mortals' quarrel.
And then Artemis calls him a pussy. Calls him spineless. Bitch why are you carrying a bow if you won't even fight. Reveals that he's boasted about beating Poseidon before. This is so sad, this is worse than my family reunions. Apollo doesn't respond but HERA on the other hand.
SHE TAKES ARTEMIS' BOW AND QUIVER AND BEATS HER UP WITH IT?? JUST ABSOLUTELY WHALES ON HER UNTIL SHE STARTS SOBBING AND RUNS AWAY? She leaves her weapons behind, and Hermes sees this. He tells Artemis' mother Leto that he has no quarrel with her, not wanting to get in trouble with Zeus. He offers to let her say that she bested him in combat and she takes her daughter's weapons and leaves to go after Artemis.
Then Artemis goes running to daddy and cries at his lap. Zeus hugs her (and I will say this time and time again. That man is a girl dad it is so funny. He will spit in ares' face and then laugh at Athena's jokes) and asks what's wrong. Artemis says Hera is to blame
Obsessed with "Why, it's as if they had caught you out in public doing something wrong..."
It's giving "is there something you forgot to tell me?"
All the rest of the gods then sulk back home to Olympus, all but Apollo, who flies back to troy to make sure Achilles isn't causing Too Much damage which is hilarious because that man was on the verge of tears getting his ass beat by a river a few lines back
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