"Looks like they knew you were coming, little man. Check it out, there's a changing table just waiting!" Daddy stood in the open doorway and pointed to the chaise lounge in the corner of the hotel room, positioned where a couch would normally be. Concerned that the couple at the end of the hallway might have heard, you blushed and slightly squirmed in place before rolling your Paw Patrol suitcase into the room. “Speaking of which, I’m sure somebody needs a change after that long train ride…” he smirked before vigorously patting the swollen diaper that was not-so-subtly concealed under the nylon shorts that you’d pointlessly protested against earlier that morning as being too tight and short.
“First things first, tiger. Just drop your new diaper bag over there and hop on. I’ll get ya’ fixed up in no time!” You waddled your way over to the “changing table” and dropped the transparent blue plastic backpack filled to the brim with diapers and baby supplies that you’d been unexpectedly saddled with just before heading into the train station security check. Somehow, Cookie Monster's big smile on the backpack's front panel did little to console you in the moment.
Between your shorts, the more-than-obvious diaper bag (which was unlikely to be left behind during your three day trip to Legoland) and Daddy insisting that it was “perfectly fine” for you to watch Mickey Mouse Funhouse on the train using the speakers on your tablet after he “forgot” your headphones, this had already been one of the most embarrassing days of your life - and it wasn’t even lunchtime yet.
After the familiar ritual of wipes, power, fresh padding and some cuddles from your good buddy Chase, the morning’s ordeals felt far enough away that you could start to relish them in retrospect. Sure, they were rarely fun in the moment, but the excitement you felt both before and after these moments of public baby exposure tended to last far longer than the actual humiliation.
As Daddy snapped a photo, you thought how lucky it was that you’d been randomly booked into a room with an unlikely piece of furniture that was perfectly tailored to your needs. Daddy was right, it was like they knew you were coming.
That’s because they did know.
You see - in the age of online booking, travel agents need to go the extra mile to keep their clients happy, and Daddy’s travel agent is the best in the business. In the past, she’d mostly just given the staff advanced warning of things like a grown man in water-wings and a pair of Lil' Swimmers splashing around the shallow end of the pool or Daddy’s habit of leaving a bag of yesterday’s dirty diapers outside the door on days when he didn’t feel like having the maid clean up the room.
However, it seems her contact at this new hotel chain worked across the hallway from the company’s “accessibility and inclusion” team, who were desperately trying to find a project to spend the remainder of the department’s budget on before the end of the fiscal year - and unlike their normal projects like widening doorways or adding wheelchair ramps, prototyping furniture to accommodate an oversized baby would certainly get the attention of the higher-ups at the next company-wide meeting.
The combination chaise lounge/changing table was by far the most subtile concept that the team came up with. It was made with the idea of being permanent fixture that could blend in when the room was being occupied by "adults" and has a far less juvenile print than the other overtly childish designs. For example, there's the adorable diaper-clad koala bear on the sheets of the folding crib that's being rolled down the hallway to your room or the silly circus animals printed on the mesh sides of the massive playpen in the hotel gym that'll keep you safely secured during Daddy's morning workout.
By the end of the trip - after being strapped into the bright red highchair awaiting you in the middle of the lobby restaurant for several hands-only mealtimes, after the staff confirms that it's okay for Daddy to take your complimentary stroller with you to the theme park, after very thoroughly “testing” the newly fortified diaper changing station in the first floor men's room during the A.M. checkout crowds, and after the hotel's marketing department contacts Daddy to use his photos for an online ad campaign that smashes all previous records for shares and engagement - you'll look back at the minor embarrassments of this morning and yearn for the time when the indignities and humiliations that come with your baby-status relented for long enough for you to enjoy them half as much as your Daddy does.
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