diariodecarol

she/they

[diariodecarol]

autorretrato de mi mente.

[diariodecarol]

close to the light

4 am. my room. borrowed proyector from my sister. melodrama by lorde in mind.

[diariodecarol]

Polish me

grandma’s room. thursday evening. nothing to do and a sudden idea.

[diariodecarol]

Getting to old for the playground

park close to my house. around midnight. with my friend.

[diariodecarol]

an april sunday. birthday at hometown.

[mypublicnotesapp]

PRE PLEASURE- Julia Jacklin

It feels very personal, almost like I am reading her journal

This is poetry, the meaning of each song is hidden behind metaphors and motifs 

The second track “love, try not to let go” flooded me with emotion. I didn’t know what to feel, the rhythmic beat caused an uproar and the somber piano followed behind to bring me down.

One line into “too young to die” and I’m already hooked. I lost it, sobbing. This song is simply breathtaking. It makes me feel the  purity of love, the ignorance of love. The feeling that love is a savior.   

While listening I started to make connections. The concept of love as a savior paired with the organ made me relate the song to the first track “Lydia wears a cross” where an interpersonal struggle with religion is explored. At first listen, it feels like the song is about a romantic love, but upon further reflection I believe it might be describing the love for "him" who is better known as God.

Less of a stranger - I connected with this song on an unearthly level. It explored the yearning to know the person that created you but knowing that at a point there is nothing you can do to make that connection happen not due to your own fault but the boundaries set by your mother. Your mother is a being, a soul that has roamed the earth finding herself before even thinking of having a child. To know who your mother is, is to know yourself. Sometimes it breaks my heart to know that, scientifically, I have been with my mother her whole life. Right before she was born the egg that would later form my body was created in her while connected to my grandmother. How can we spend our entire lives intertwined, yet not know each other.

I find myself restarting the songs to understand the piece with knowledge I gain from each line passed.

Overall, this is a gorgeous album sonically and lyrically. PRE PLEASURE is now on my "favorite albums" list

[fitzdyke]

books read in 2023

Our Wives Under The Sea by Julia Armfield

I want to explain her in a way that would make you love her, but the problem with this is that loving is something we all do alone and through different sets of eyes.

It's nearly impossible, at least in my experience, to listen to someone telling a story about their partner and not wish they'd get to the point a little faster: OK, so, you're saying he likes long walks, you're saying she's a Capricorn, skip to the end. It's easy to understand why someone might love a person but far more difficult to push yourself down into that understanding, to pull it up to your chin like bedclothes and feel it settling around you as something true.

[hillhousepaperback]

[luxaofhesperides]

OUR WIVES UNDER THE SEA

miri + leah

[agirlinagony]

I feel it coming (the indie sleaze resurgence)

[heritageposts]

if you support israel right now, you're supporting the extermination of the palestinian people.

it really is that simple.

this isn't a 'complicated conflict,' it isn't a situation that 'requires nuance,' it's not a 'geopolitical event' that requires us to condemn the 'bad actors' on 'both sides.'

it's a genocide.

there is no 'nuance' to be had here. it's a genocide, committed by the israeli state against the palestinian people, and it's happening right now as we speak. you don't have to infer anything: israel has openly, with next to no pushback from so-called liberal democracies, cut off gaza's access to water, food and electricity. that's more than two million palestinians denied even the basic necessities for life. a million of them, children.

what is that, if not a genocide?

and that's only the latest escalation. we could go all day, listing the atrocities the palestinian people have been subjected to. the killings, the beatings, the children sexually abused in detention center, all the hospitals and ambulances being blown up, videos of palestinians being heckled by settlers as they're driven from their homes, israelis gathering on hilltops to cheer as their military drops bombs on gaza...

but all westerns want to talk about, is hamas.

because the murder of palestinians by the IDF is status quo; it doesn't affect them. what's one more dead palestinian but a statistic? but if hamas has killed a handful of israelis — if they've go as far as to even kill babies — then that justifies the extermination of two million palestinians, children and infants included.

westerns will even say that the palestinians brought it on themselves; that they should have know that a drop of israeli blood requires a river in return.

and just so we're clear, you don't have to like hamas. but when you equate hamas with the IDF, when you derail every conversation by demanding a condemnation of 'both sides,' or when you, god forbid, agree that israel is justified in dismantling hamas — which, as israel themselves have outlined, will involve the complete destruction of gaza and the murder of hundreds of thousands of civilians — then either wake up, or own up to the fact that you're a participant in the extermination of the palestinian people.

do you think i'm being harsh? then imagine how it's like living under constant aerial bombardment. with no food, no water, no electricity. constant air-raid sirens. a bomb, dropping every minute. never knowing a moment a peace, always wondering if today is going to be your last day, if you and your family are still going to be here tomorrow.

could you stomach living in gaza, for even a day? i doubt it.

and still, now, on the eve of what might be the ground invasion of gaza — with one million palestinians being told to flee, with nowhere to go — i'm getting messages from people who demand my sympathy... for israel.

well, you're not getting it.

i'm not even humoring your hand-wringing.

if you live in israel, and you're one of the ones who've turned a blind-eye to the suffering of the palestinian people, if you've fought for the IDF or tacitly supported them, if you've callously called upon the memory of the holocaust thinking the death and suffering of your ancestors would wash the blood of your own hands....

then yeah, i think you deserve every single hamas rocket lobbed at you and so much more.

[goldenxtattoo]

the rise and fall of a midwest princess - singles

[zal-cryptid]

ANALOG HORROR

[inthenameofselfexpression]

[haarleps-moved-deactivated20240]

I can’t express how much this meant to me. How much this entire book meant to me.

[silver-ink-iron-words-reblogs]

So I just finished reading The Song of Achilles, and forgive me if I'm stating the obvious but . . .

About two thirds of the way in, Thetis tells the boys that there is a new prophecy, that "the best of Myrmidons will die before two more years have passed." And at first they're afraid that it's Achilles, but then Thetis tells them that he will be alive when it happens

The first time I read this, I didn't understand. It was only when I read that passage again, after knowing what happens, that I realized the prophecy was about Patroclus

The book even acknowledges it later on, when Briseis is saying goodbye to him . . . "'Best of men. Best of Myrmidons.' She places her fingers to my lips, stopping my objection. 'It is truth,' she says. 'Let it stand for once.'"

In the first half of the book, a lot of Patroclus's pov is dedicated to describing how beautiful and amazing Achilles is. And when you see how ordinary and pathetic Patroclus makes himself look in comparison, you almost start to wonder why Achilles loves him in the first place

But Patroclus was the best of all of them, even better than Achilles. No one else had his kindness, his tenderness, his unwavering care for others

And Achilles knew this. Further on, Briseis says that Patroclus was worth ten of him, and Achilles doesn't disagree

[woundedsaint]

he is like ophelia. to me