Empty minds
Sometime.. i really want some quiet time.. by myself.. at least one day..
Why one day?
Kenapa tak 5 minit je.. cukuplah.. dah nama suri rumah.
Lolz
So.. sekarang.. aku cuba ambik masa 5 minit.. me time..
Just to write this post...
You know what happen? Haha
They came to me every 10 seconds.. nak makan.. botol air hilang ...nyanyi abc.. dance.. i need to respon on everything they said.. salah respon dia tantrum...pukul adik.. adik pukul abg ...tak boleh setakat jawab.. hmmm je.. paaling worst...berak.. pastu dok merata.. haha...
Sometime rasa.. 5 minit rest that i really need tu.. bakal mengundang 5 kali ganda kerja...
Contoh berak tulah.. tak pasal2 kene mop satu rumah...
Tak masuk lg kerja2 lain yg sedia menunggu.. seperti masak.. suap makan dorg yg makan masa 2 jam.. blablabla
Btw.. by the time aku tulis post ni.. dia tak dok merata laa.. harini selamat.. lol
Cuma tulah.. bila aku tak layan.. mula lah buat perangai memasing 😅
5 minit quiet time huh? Lol
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.
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But.. you know what.. despite all that..
The worst feeling i ever had is..
#guilt
Cause
Bila aku rasa nak alone..mesti ada suara bisikan yg kata.. im a bad mom
Syukurlah ada anak.. ada org yg xdapat anak
Nanti Allah tarik balik .. baru tahu (ni yang paling aku takut)
Tak baik mengeluh.. blablabla
Anak buat perangai sebab aku kurang bg perhatian...
Sampai nak hold this phone for 5 minit pn rasa bersalah.. tp still teruskan..lol. coz i need space.. i need time to release my tension.. kalau tak aku mudah mengamok lol..
Btw
That word.. just ONCE said to me.. tp masih berbekas sampai harini..
So everytime i need some space.. i always feel like im a bad mom.