Untitled

[diaryofatigerchild-blog]

#2 Respect

You talk about respect like you know what it is, but you don't. Respect is not something that is earned, it is given. Only when that respect is lost, then it needs to be earned back.

You talk about me respecting you, and i have done exactly that. I do as I am told. I help out around the house. I dont do anything to anger you. Yet, you have no respect for me. You don't let me speak my mind, and when i do, I am just a foolish teenager with no life skills. You make me earn your respect, when i should already have it, being your son. You don't have any respect for me and my girlfriend. You think we go behind your back. No we don't. It's called privacy. So we can talk without being heard by your judging ears.

Aswell as not having any respect for me, you are also a hypocrit. I help around the house so much, do what you ask, and when I say that i help out more than heaps of my friends would in their house, you just tell me not to judge to other people. That I am in my place and I should do as I'm told. Yet, when it comes to school marks, you ALWAYS compare me to other people. Oh (this person), got higher marks than you, you should be more like them. I am not the person you want me to be. I am not you, when you were younger. Let me live my own life.

[diaryofatigerchild-blog]

#1 Happiness

No matter where you come from life is broken down into two aspects; happiness and wealth. Many people strive to be as rich as they can, working in a job they hate, to ultimately be happy with the money they earn. Others are happy to survive on moderate wealth while maintaining a happy life throughout. And others even try to make the lives of others as happy as possible through funds and charities.

I just want to be happy. I've never been one for money. You would think a mother could tell whether their own child is happy or not. You are squeezing out any ounce of joy I have left in me. You never let me go out. You never let me have opinions. You never let me have a life. You believe in "a child should be seen, not heard". This is the 21st century, that should not exist anymore. Open your eyes, realize what you are doing to me, before it is too late.

[diaryofatigerchild-blog]

So I'm a son of a tiger-mum (aka; a tigerchild)

It's come to a point, where i just need to put down what i feel inside into words. I don't need anyone to read this, i just need a place where i can type freely.

There's always been alot of talk about what type of parenting is the best. Tigermumming (East), or the relaxed approached (West). My mum is not an all out tiger-mum, but she basically is. You see lots of tv programs, news reports debating this topic, and children giving their opinions, and most of the children seem to say "yes my childhood was difficult, but i am so much better for it now".

I'm here to say, this is not always the case. Althought i cannot completely judge, because i am not completely out of my childhood yet. My life at the moment, well its not good. I am really unhappy. And this is not good in my final year. I need to be happy and focused to achieve the best I can. My mum wants me to achieve the best i can, but she puts too much pressure on me, and wants me to be someone who I am not. I have never been the top student. I have never gotten A's in all of my subjects. I am a solid student, and i get good marks. What angers me the most is that my mum has no idea how to gauge my happiness. She's looking at one thing only; school marks. She EXPECTS me to get an A. She doesn't HOPE, she EXPECTS. And when i don't get that A, I am a disappointment to her.

I am a sports lover. And recently I tore my ACL (which means i can't play sport for ages, and require surgery). Instead of sharing my sadness about my injury, my mum was happy that now i could souley concentrate on my studies, instead of playing sport.

I've always been a 'good' boy. Done what i've been told. Sure I sometimes lose things, but that doesn't mean I am irresponsible. That doesn't mean I am not ready to be an adult. Through all these years, I've just given up to the fights that we've had, because you are my mum, and I am your son. That is just how its meant to be. But now, I really don't think that is the case. I am so unhappy living here. You never let me do the things I want to do. And I am not asking much at all. I ask for some days to hang out with friends, but I can't have that. I ask for days so i can be happy, but you don't let me.

The only thing keeping me happy right now is my girlfriend. She means the world to me, but I never get to see her as much as i should because of my mum. I swear, if things end out badly with my girlfriend because i don't get to see her enough, i will never forgive my mum. My girlfriend is the only person keeping me happy, keeping me sane from my hell-hold. Beautiful, you really don't know how much you mean to me.

This has more been an out-pour of emotion rather than a debate about parenting styles. I can see the benefits of being a tiger-mum, but there are too many disadvantages. Once a child knows, and understands what is out there in terms of social life, a child will never want to be a tigerchild. Having discipline and rules are important, but if ever to the point where the child, like myself are truly unhappy (not just a temporary tantrum), it should be up to the parent to realize, and stop it. I hope things get better at home, it is my final year and i can't be unhappy leading into important exams. Firstly, because of my future, and secondly because, well ironically my mum would be even more mad at me, and drive me even further away.