dream

hey, yes my name is actually dream. diary of dream (25) she/her

[diaryoflife]

Y/N, walking into a team meeting: Please help me my wife keeps saying "dinner, a bath, or me?" I haven't eaten or bathed in days.

*Natasha smirks while the Avengers laugh*

[diaryoflife]

Y/N: Why is it called lukewarm like why isn't it medium warm. Who is Luke?

Wanda: We have a mission in the morning Y/N. Sleep!

[diaryoflife]

Y/N: I hate making tea because I always feel bad for throwing out the teabag. I'm always like “I should eat this”.

*Natasha hits the back of Y/N’s head while the Avengers laugh*

[diaryoflife]

Wanda Maximoff: Y/N, do you think your favourite animal says much about you?

Y/N: What? You mean behind my back?

*the avengers burst out laughing while wanda rolls her eyes trying not to laugh*

[diaryoflife]

[Wanda getting a text while sitting with the Avengers]

*Wanda, sighing and trying not to laugh, shows the team the text*

Y/N’s text message: Are we still on for tomorrow?

Wanda: They’re talking about our wedding by the way.

*The team bursts out laughing*

[diaryoflife]

Y/N, posting on a social media site: “hostage or not, sometimes it’s just nice being held :)”

Natasha, replying to the post: “WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU”

*Wanda takes away Y/N’s phone*

[diaryoflife]

[The Avengers visiting Wanda and Y/N before Wanda has the twins]

Y/N, looking at the team: I genuinely don’t know how the hell i’m supposed to have kids... you’re telling me if they suggest getting ice cream for dinner and picking up another dog on our way back I have to say ‘no’ and act like that’s not a great freaking idea?! Sorry I’m not fake.

*Wanda hits the back of Y/N head while the team bursts out laughing*

[diaryoflife]

[The Avengers talking during breakfast together]

Tony, looking at everyone: What would you do if your partner stabbed you?

Y/N, talking about Natasha: If my wife stabbed me I’d thrust myself deeper into the blade just to be a few inches closer to her but that’s just me, I don’t know.

*Natasha smirks and hits the back of Y/N’s head whilst the team laughs*

[diaryoflife]

Tony: Ladies, what is the most obvious hint you’ve dropped that went unnoticed by a person?

Wanda: I sat on the same lawn chair as them, kind of wiggled in, and said "I'm cold". They left me alone in the chair and proceeded to build a giant fire. It took like an hour. When they were finished making the fire they sat back down in a different lawn chair.

Clint: No one passes up a good excuse to light shit on fire.

*everyone turns, looking at Y/N outside burning stuff*

[diaryoflife]

[the Avengers discussing a mission]

Wanda: Y/N said they saw the Hydra Agent the other day.

Y/N: When I say "the other day" it could be anytime between yesterday and my birth.

*the team laughs as Wanda hits the back of Y/N’s head*

[diaryoflife]

Y/N: I have stability.

Y/N: Ability to stab.

Natasha: No!

*the team laughs*

[diaryoflife]

Wanda: If you had to choose between Sparky and I, who would you choose?

Y/N: I would choose you.

Wanda, smiling: Really? Are you serious?

Y/N: Please just take my word for it, I don’t want to lie twice.

*the team bursts out laughing whilst Wanda hits the back of Y/N’s head and walks away*

[diaryoflife]

[Natasha lost her cat Liho]

Y/N, walking towards her holding a cat: Look I found Liho Nat!

Natasha: That’s not Liho. The name tag says “Cinnamon”!

Y/N: No wonder that little girl kept crying and saying “give me cinnamon! give me cinnamon!”

*the team trying not to laugh*

Y/N, completely serious: And I looked her right in the eye and said “I don’t carry spices in my pocket!”

*everyone bursts out laughing while Natasha hits the back of Y/N’s head*

[diaryoflife]

Y/N: Just realized there’s nothing stopping me from drinking a lava lamp.

*Natasha sighs and hits the back of Y/N’s head whilst the team laughs*

[diaryoflife]

[The Avengers visiting Wanda, Y/N and their twins]

Wanda, about Y/N: Sometimes I just want to shrink them down and put them in a snow globe and shake it around a lot.

Y/N, excitedly runs back into the room: Can we do that?! That’d be so fun.

*Wanda sighs as the whole team laughs*

[diaryoflife]

[During an Avengers team meeting]

Tony: Has anyone ever had an experience with an evil entity following them?

Y/N, about their twins: Yes, but once they're potty trained and a bit more independent, they tend to settle down.

*the team laughs*

Wanda, hits the back of Y/N’s head: Don’t talk about our babies like that!

[diaryoflife]

Y/N: I only talk to like five people every day and three of them are me.

*Wanda and Natasha nod whilst the team laughs*