my mother and I used to take drives late at night last summerâ¨itâd be late May, late for a school night â¨sheâd come to my room anytime between 8-10:00 and ask me if I wanted to come with her to {input excuse to get out of the house}â¨she didnât like it at home, it made her feel guilty â¨donât forget, your home that youâve lived in for 14 years should never feel such a wayâ¨anyway, Iâd know that I shouldnât because 1. it was late to go out 2.i had already spent that day making revisions and promising myself that I wouldnât threaten my sleep for a little guilty adventure 3. my father would not approve and Iâd disappoint by going out again with her â¨but of course, despite the lengthy list of reasons not to, I did â¨weâd start by getting into the car, sheâd have me start it up while she milked my father for money, and Iâd plug my phone into the aux & pre set our favorite music while he gave in â¨they would usually get into an argument before she got into the car and they would fight over me staying/leaving â¨once we got on the road sheâd light a cig and then proceed to our first stop, A circle K gas station store â¨weâd run in: I would grab a polar pop of Mountain Dew voltage and she would make herself a hazelnut coffee with extra cream and sugar and all of the additives you can think ofâ¨weâd be checking out and sheâd grab a brownie or some chips â¨then we would go outside to where our car was parked (its traditional parking spot) and we would sit outside of it on the curb while she smoked another cig and we ate our snacks, drank our drinks.â¨then Iâd ask where we were going â¨it was usually one of three places:â¨her friend Darleneâs, Julieâs, or Laura&Barrenâs. â¨background info: Darlene was an older black woman in her 50âs, the sweetest soul who lived in a tiny little house that used to be someoneâs shed. she had a simplistic way of living. â¨Julie: A suicidal tattooâd Mormon mom who lived in a normal house in a normal neighborhood with her husband and 8 out of her 12 kids â¨Laura: 28 years of age, kindred personality, and potty mouth who lived with her psychotic 22 year old boyfriend in a gross, run down apartment â¨I didnât mind any of those places really â¨Darlene was so good for my mother â¨Julie too, just naive and too gullible for my conniving mother but had a cute catâ¨and Laura&Barren were chill and sweet â¨we would usually stop at Julieâs first who lived kind of far. â¨hereâs the best part â¨my mother and I would just drive â¨we would get lost in our music, whatever it was â¨and for a long while it was twenty one pilots â¨now when you listen to a popular band you take it for granted. you like itâs sound and the fandom but let me just sayâ¨you will never truly appreciate an artists work or song lyrics or vision until you are placed in one of the most immense situations ever, and being able to just drive to your hearts aesthetically calming content while blasting that music â¨it was surreal how much the blurry face album had helped me just take another breathe the next morningâ¨I think we both would let our minds stumble over the fast rap, weâd get absolutely lost in the rhythm, but we didnât careâ¨in fact we didnât care a little too much â¨we both felt dead inside and music was a distraction, among the streetlights that seemed blurry when you blinked too fast, or the strands of hair blown into your eyes when the Windows were open â¨the burning of secondhand smoke in my throat â¨these therapeutic drives were a routine in my life for months and I will never forget the detachment I feel from that vehicles passenger seat everyday as it rots in my driveway â¨as my mothers car rots in our driveway â¨as my mother rots in our hearts â¨as my mother rots away â¨as my mother simply rots
