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One Nice Bug Per Day
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Lobster
Spicy Lobster & Eggplant Noodles
LOBSTER MANGO AVOCADO SALAD
Lobster Spaghetti (Santorini Style)
LOBSTER RISOTTO
COPYCAT RED LOBSTER CHEDDAR BAY BISCUITS
Lobster Rolls
Creamy Lobster and Shells
More lobster recipes here!
Follow for recipes
Is this how you roll?
Webtoons!
A Grub in Love with a Butterfly
Author: storybycorey
Rating: NC-17
Time Period: Season Seven
Summary: @megdoesart requested a story from me, in which Mulder is scared of losing Scully and in need of reassurance. She then proceeded to do this beautiful drawing to supplement the story!
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Self harm doesn’t always happen when a blade touches skin.
It’s skipping meals because you don’t feel like you deserve to eat today. It’s having sex because you want to be used or abused or defiled. It’s drinking recklessly because you might have the ‘courage’ do something stupid. It’s smoking - not because you need the nicotine - because you know it’s bad for you. It’s banging your head against a wall when you’re angry. It’s crossing the road without looking because you lowkey hope a car might hit you. It’s thinking about all the ways you could break a bone and make it look like an accident. It’s not taking painkillers because you want to suffer. It’s taking painkillers in excess because you know it’s dangerous. It’s walking home the more dangerous way because you’re kind of half hoping you’ll get attacked or raped or stabbed. It’s going for long walks at night and getting chilled to the bone and hoping that you get lost so that you can’t find your way back. It’s seeking out triggering material. It’s all the stupid little ways you punish yourself for existing.
Sometimes self harm happens when you put effort into depriving yourself of things you like or need, and sometimes it happens when you don’t put any effort into doing the things you like or need.
It’s a pattern of self-destructive behaviour, and it doesn’t only happen in one way.
Grounding Techniques
Grounding is a technique that helps keep someone in the present. They help reorient a person to the here-and-now and in reality. Grounding skills can be helpful in a variety of situations: with dissociation symptoms; and managing overwhelming feelings or intense anxiety. They help someone to regain their mental focus from an often intensely emotional state.
Grounding skills occur within two specific approaches:
1) Sensory Awareness
2) Cognitive Awareness
Sensory Awareness Grounding Exercise #1:
Begin by tracing your hand on a piece of paper and label each finger as one of the five senses. Then take each finger and identify something special and safe representing each of those five senses. For example: Thumb represents sight and a label for sight might be butterflies or my middle finger represents the smell sense and it could be represented by lilacs. After writing and drawing all this on paper, post it on your refrigerator or other safe places in the home where it could be easily seen and memorize it. Whenever you get triggered, breathe deeply and slowly, and put your hand in front of your face where you can really see it – stare at your hand and then look at each finger and try to do the five senses exercise from memory.
Exercise #2:
• Keep your eyes open, look around the room, notice your surroundings, notice
details.
• Hold a pillow, stuffed animal or a ball.
• Place a cool cloth on your face, or hold something cool such as a can of soda.
• Listen to soothing music
• Put your feet firmly on the ground
• FOCUS on someone’s voice or a neutral conversation.
Sensory Awareness Grounding Exercise #3:
Here’s the 54321 “game”.
• Name 5 things you can see in the room with you.
• Name 4 things you can feel (“chair on my back” or “feet on floor”)
• Name 3 things you can hear right now (“fingers tapping on keyboard” or “tv”)
• Name 2 things you can smell right now (or, 2 things you like the smell of)
• Name 1 good thing about yourself
Cognitive Awareness Grounding Exercise:
Reorient yourself in place and time by asking yourself some or all of these questions:
1. Where am I?
2. What is today?
3. What is the date?
4. What is the month?
5. What is the year?
6. How old am I?
7. What season is it?
Source: http://www.peirsac.org/peirsacui/er/educational_resources10.pdf
What I wish someone had told me about grieving
What I wish someone had told me about grieving
Photo credit: Annemariebusschers When my mother died unexpectedly of a stroke, there was no shortage of platitudes offered: “It will get easier with time.” “One day this will all make sense.” “She’s in a better place now.” As I’ve written before, I found these types of sentiments, at the time, to be rather empty and unhelpful. Nonetheless, I learned to appreciate the fact that the people who said…
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The Time I Held An Umbrella
It was about 8:30 when Sam pulled into the driveway. I had already told my mom that I’d meet him outside when he got there. It was raining, and the wooden deck was cold under my bare feet. In hindsight, maybe I should’ve put shoes on. I worry that my casual demeanor underplayed the serious of the situation and may have made the news more shocking for Sam.
I walked up to him and stuttered a bit. Tom came up behind me and said, “He’s dead.” Sam gasped and crouched down. He put his face in his hands and shook his head, murmuring the typical things like “oh,” “no,” and “oh my god.” I told Tom to go get him a chair. Sam said he didn’t want to go inside; he wanted to remember the healthier Lloyd as much as he could. At first, I thought that was odd, since Lloyd had been emaciated for months, but then I remembered how much darker and sunken in his eyes had become in the last few days. I remembered the gasp coming from my grandmother when she saw him over skype just two days earlier. I remembered his bed sores and chapped lips. And then I understood. It would be a closed casket. He didn’t need to see his brother like that.
After Tom brought out the chair, I grabbed an umbrella. I stood next to him as he cried and relisted all the reasons why he couldn’t get there earlier.
My counselor told me I have “complicated” grief. I think she meant that it’s atypical, since I hated the person who died. But the implication that there are “simple” types of grief is unsettling. I get that my depression is at least in part related to unresolved grief, and that it’s problematic that my grief has yet to subside, but I don’t think it’s fair to say some forms of grief are more or less complicated than others.
^^^I wrote that about 4 months ago, and since then my grandmother has died. She was incredibly supportive all of my life, and I don’t have mixed feelings about her death. This grief is different, and maybe less complicated, but it hurts so much more.
Tears Suck Ass
With the exception of extreme circumstances, I haven’t really cried in almost 2 years. And suddenly, I can’t stop.
While there are many causes for trauma, sexual assault and abuse are major sources of PTSD and trauma among students. As a college student who is recovering from trauma, I understand how hard it can be sometimes to focus on schoolwork and classes when those trauma symptoms hit.
For that reason, I’m giving you guys a master list of resources and information on how to cope with trauma and/or PTSD during your high school / college career. This list is nowhere near perfect or complete, but I hope that this could be a start for anyone out there looking for resources. Please, feel free to add onto this list. The more resources, the better! And finally, my inbox is always open to you all!
Therapies
Dialectical Behavior Therapy
DBT Apps and Resources (my site)
Finding a Therapist
Mindfulness-Based Cognitive Therapy
on mindfulness-based stress reduction for veterans
Prolonged Exposure Treatment
A really useful book on PET!
What is Title IX?
Title IX by the Dept. of Justice
Title IX Simplified: The Basics
Title IX Protects Trans and Gender-Nonconforming Students!
(for high schoolers) After Sexual Assault: Your Title IX Rights
On Teachers / Professors
Listen, Protect, Connect (skills for teachers on how to respond to students with PTSD)
tips on how to help students with trauma in the classroom
telling people how you feel
how to ask for help
College - Specific Resources
pandora’s project: managing PTSD in school
forum thread on tips for students with PTSD
here’s an example of how colleges can make accommodations for students with PTSD
more on academic accommodations for students with mental or psychiatric disabilities
For obvious reasons, I can’t make a list of resources every college has, but this is a good example of what’s typically available. Please also know that in the US, if you open up to a mental health professional within your university, such as a general medical provider or counselor, your rights to privacy are protected under HIPAA. However, reporting trauma to a faculty or administrative member of the university is NOT confidential, so based on what your needs are, keep this in mind!
federal loan relief options for student service members
What if Someone Who Caused My Trauma is in My Class?
you have rights: what Title IX can do for you
if you’re in high school
if you don’t want to report (and you’re a minor/in high school)
if you don’t want to report (and you’re in college)
once again, not all colleges have the exact same programs, but talking with a medical provider or medical health professional who is bound by HIPAA rules is the surest way for you to find out what your possible accommodations can be
was it rape?
Flashback Tips
getting through a flashback
coping techniques for when having a flashback while alone
grounding tips (also cool for dissociating in general)
a trigger hack for when you’re out in public
some tips for flashbacks in class
some more tips (stopping a flashback)
side note: my high school was aware of my situation, so I had a class pass that I could flash at the teacher so I could leave the class and do my work in the library (which was my safe space), so it could be possible to work something out with your school, depending on the situation
making a comfort box
on why you not wanting to report is completely valid
REMINDER!!!
Dissociation Help and Grounding Tips
what is grounding?
how to help a friend who’s dissociating
things you can do while dissociating
“checking in”
easy grounding exercise (one of my personal faves!)
grounding… with pasta! (food cw if you have trouble with preparing food)
tree mediating
Calming Sites + Study / Concentration Tips and Resources
sensory-oriented relaxation tips and study help
time management skills
finals self-care masterpost
here’s a list of calming sites
do nothing for two minutes
interactive star map and virtual sky
create your own sand art
rainymood
simplynoise
the quiet place
the thoughts room
masterpost: body positivity
Gillian Anderson’s letter to her teenage self:-
Dear Gillian,
You are completely and utterly self obsessed. If you spent a quarter of your time thinking about others instead of how much you hate your thighs, your level of contentment and self worth would expand exponentially. One thing I learned way too late in the game for my own good was that you can effectively increase your self esteem by doing estimable things.
Therefore, I have signed you up to build homes for the homeless during your entire summer vacation. Your Christmas will be spent serving food at a battered women’s shelter and Easter is designated to reading stories to children in the paediatric cancer ward. Four months out of 16 years dedicated to human beings other than yourself; you have gotten off easy.
Oh and honey, expand your horizons; your world is a bigger oyster than your low self-esteem wants you to believe. Love yourself, think of others and be grateful. I love you, I believe in you, and I look forward to respecting you. Me. You. Us P.S. Follow your dreams, not your boyfriends. [x]
Gillian Anderson - Full Panel / Q&A - FanX 2016
Two clips of David Duchovny talking with Rove and Sam. Notice his unbuttoned shirt!
flirting with duchovny
david’s son sleepwalks, steals his phone
The X-Files - Welcome Back. [by mulderswaterbed | Vimeo] Music: “Crystals” - Of Monsters & Men
I was hoping someone was making a video of last week’s event. You have by far past my expectations. This is beautiful!
Thanks for a fun ride, @davidduchovny. Till next time xxx
Seriously, we will build you a nice place where you can stay together forever and it will have a moist anteroom and you can wear pantsuits that will glorify your little waist and there will always be whole milk for your americano and… yeah.
wish geometry | tw: death, suicide mention | immortal scully | wip
he can deny her nothing; when she asks him to kill her, over coffee at their kitchen table, he agrees.
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