This blog is dedicated to writing one-shot's and multi fics of different fandoms and their beloved character's. https://archiveofourown.org/users/DiffidentPhantom/profileÂ
I am 25 years old, and have been reading fanfiction since 2011. I have also been writing fanfiction since 2012, on old accounts of mine that have long since been deleted.
My old fanfic haunts used to be LiveJournal, Wattpad, Quotev, and FanFiction.net. Before I eventually made the decision to join the masses on Tumblr in 2015 - my first tumblr account - and AO3 in 2019.
My current fandom obsessions are: Hazbin Hotel, Hunger Games, and Twilight.
My favorite character's from each fandom are:
Hazbin Hotel
â„Vox, Velvette, and Valentino. Angel Dust. Alastor. Husk.
Hunger Games
â„ Cato, Effie Trinket, and Finnick Odair
Twilight
â„ Caius, Dimitri, Felix, Jasper, Marcus, and Rosalie.
I tend to write in either first-person pov or third-person pov.
Currently, I am saving up to buy a drawing tablet so I can start to illustrate my fanfic's myself and bring my OC's to life.
Because most of my stories contain dark content that may be considered disturbing to some readers and triggering to others. My blog is meant for those who are 18+. It is a 'read at your own risk' type of deal.
All of my stories, and snippet's that I post on this blog. Will have the necessary warnings at the top.
Summary: Your mother prioritizes the shiny new girl over you.
Pairing: Young!(AU)Dean Winchester x Female!Reader
Warnings: angst, golden child syndrome, awful mother, great stepdad, no monster au
A/N: We start in the last year of high school with this one.
Next time. Itâs always the same two words. Whenever you ask your mother to attend one of your events or spend time with you, she says those two words.
Your stepsister never hears them. Since your mother remarried three years ago, you have become invisible to her. It hurt at first, but now, you're just numb.
You donât ask her to come to your things or spend time with you anymore. It wouldnât change anything. Sheâd only tell you, next time, again, and move to your stepsister.
âY/N, why did you not tell me that you got the lead role in your school play?â Your mother asks the moment you walk inside the kitchen to make breakfast for yourself. Your stepsister already has her prepared food, as she does every morning. âHello, did you hear me?â
âI didnât think youâd care,â you say with a shrug. âIâm sure Lacey has something more important going on. You should focus on her, just like every day. My things are less important.â
Your mother stares at you. For almost two years, you stopped complaining or arguing. You just gave up on holding onto a relationship she destroyed years ago.
âIâm your mother!â She snaps at you, disappointment written all over her face.
âOh,â you say, looking at her like she grew a second head. âI didnât know I still had a mother. You know, everyone at school believes you died three years ago.â
âWhat?â Your mother looks hurt when she asks, âDid you tell them so?â
âI didnât have to,â you reply, your voice even. âThe moment you stopped coming to events, to pick me up from school, or to simply care, everyone assumed you mustâve died.â
She stammers, but you have no time for her drama. âIâm still your mother.â
You sigh deeply. She will once again promise to show, only to forget about you the moment Lacey comes up with another emergency.
âIf you want to come, you can. If notâŠâ You shrug. âIt doesnât really matter to me anymore. If you donât keep your hopes high, you wonât get disappointed.â
Your stepfather watches you walk out of the kitchen with sad eyes. He tried everything to make the blended family work. It was your mother who abandoned you to favor his daughter.
âI told you your behavior will fire back. Now your daughter doesnât even want you to come to her school play. How could you not know about her interests?â
âDad,â Lacey groans. âSheâs just being dramatic. The lead role is nothing special. I couldâve gotten the role too if I wanted to.â
âYou donât even like the theater, Lacey. Please don't make everything about you all the time. Thatâs the reason your stepsister refuses to spend time with you, and her own mother!â
Lacey flinches at her fatherâs outburst. Lately, heâs been in a bad mood whenever they exclude you. He just doesn't know how to make your mother see that she's losing her daughter.
âDo you honestly believe I donât know you, once again, excluded Y/N from your mother-daughter bonding time at the spa?â He raises his voice, now directing his anger at your mother. âYou told me Y/N was coming too, only for me to see her working another shift at the diner. She didnât even know about the spa.â
âShe doesnât like spending time at the spa,â Lacey lies through her teeth. She knows you begged your mother to spend time with you at the spa. You even offered to pay for it with the money you saved up.
âThatâs a lie, and you know it,â your stepfather hisses. âYou are grounded for two months!â
âDad!â
âY/SF/N!â Your mother gasps. All her plans involving Lacey just went down the drain. Including movie night on the weekend. âYou canât do this!â
âYouâre lucky I canât ground you too,â he says, anger in his voice. âYour daughter bends backwards to appease you and to earn the tiniest of attention from you. All you did was ignore your own flesh and blood!â
âDaddy, you should be on my side,â Lacey presses a few tears out. âSheâs your stepdaughter, not your daughter!â
âNo. I shouldnât. Someone must be on Y/Nâs side because the two of you give a shit about her feelings and well-being. Iâm going to take her on a trip to New York next month. John and I want to talk about expanding with Singer. I originally wanted to take all of you, but you two don't deserve nice things.â
âDarling, you promised to take me and Lacey shopping in New York City! I already told all our friends about it.â
âI promised to bring my family to the trip, just like John. Right now, Iâm ashamed to call you my wife, and Lacey, my daughter. You do not deserve to come with me after repeatedly abandoning your own daughter for three years,â your stepfather says, leaving no room for argument. âMy decision is final.â
The day of the play didnât bring a surprise. As usual, your mother didnât show. Lacey threw another tantrum, and your mother was all too eager to go on a shopping spree with her stepdaughter instead of attending your play to watch you play Juliet.
âSomething wrong, Sweetheart?â Dean Winchester, the heartthrob of your school and son of your stepfatherâs business partner, asked. âYou did great. It almost made me like Hamlet.â
âI kissed your brother,â you point out, earning a huff from Dean.
âYeah, no. That was a staged kiss,â he argues, stepping even closer to hand you a single red rose. âCome on. Whatâs wrong?â
âShe didnât show,â Sam murmurs from behind his brother.
âShe?â Dean cocks his head to look at his brother.
âMy mother,â you finally say. âI didnât expect her to show, Sam. Itâs fine. I assume Lacey had something more important going on today.â
âLacey?â Dean wonders aloud. âThat annoying girl asking me to drive her home all the damn time? She's the worst.â
âExactly,â his brother confirms. âYou'd better stay away from her.â
âSheâs not my type,â Dean says, handing you the rose. âLet me drive you home, Sweetheart. Let me invite you for ice cream too.â
âYou donât have to pretend to care, okay,â you sniff, and look away. âIâm used to being ignored since Lacey showed up. My mother acts as if Iâm the stepdaughter. I donât know what I did wrong.â
âYou did nothing wrong,â your stepfather angrily says. âYour mother is the one to blame. I told her more than once to stop favoring my daughter.â He looks down at you, giving you a sad smile. âI know this wonât make up for the pain I brought upon you by marrying your mother, but Iâll take only you to New York City next month.â
âSheâs coming with us?â Dean grins from ear to ear. âAwesome! We can share a room, have a sleepover, and eat pie. Oh, and I know where to get the best pizza in New York! Leave everything to me.â
âY/SF/N, I appreciate what you try to do, but I wonât hear the end of it if you donât take Lacey and my mother to New York City. I can stay behind. Iâm used to it. Itâs not a big deal.â
âY/N,â your stepfather sighs when you turn to walk away. âThey have to learn actions have consequences.â
âThis wonât make my mother love me,â you choke on the words when looking at your stepfather. âShe doesnât like me at all. Why? I canât tell. All I know is that she stopped caring for me since Lacey walked into our home. Maybe she was simply waiting for someone better to show up.â
You run away, leaving your stepfather, Sam, and Dean behind.
âSonofabitch!â Dean curses loudly. âWhatâs wrong with her mother? How can she abandon her daughter over someone elseâs daughter?â
âIâd understand if Lacey lost her mom,â your stepfather says. âBut Caroline is still in the picture, and a great mom. Thereâs no reason for Y/M/N to act like this.â
âSheâs a cunt then,â Dean says before storming off. He runs after you, calling your name.
âIâm sorry, Sir. My brother isâŠâ Sam tries, but your stepfather shakes his head.
âHeâs not wrong, Sam. My wife turned out to be a cuntâŠâ
Summary: Al gets into a bidding war and meets his new omega.
A/N: Itâs ch 1! I have a feeling most of these will be a bit short, but hopefully we still have fun with this story ^_^
âAnd thatâs five! 5,000, do I have 5,500? 5,000 going once! 5,000 going twice! Annnd sold for 5,000! Thank you very much, madame, this gorgeous little lemur is yours!â
Handlers walked back onto the catwalk stage to lead the shaking creature off behind the flowing velvet curtains as Alastor scanned the crowd below for the winner. A blushing butterfly alpha shook hands with the bull congratulating her, the insignia on her paddle glowing as the sale was made.
âNext we have this gorgeous little vixen! She will require a more experienced alpha, but with a firm hand and a bit of training, she will make the perfect addition to your household!â
Alastorâs ears perked as handlers brought out the bored demoness. She kept her eyes lowered, refusing to look at the crowd of alphas surrounding her stage- whether from fear or rage, he was uncertain. Heâd expected her to come out fighting, given that fire in her gaze, but most of the omegas were despondent once up on that stage. The idea of being in their place, naked and completely vulnerable to the crowd of snarling alphas- the very thought was shiver inducing. As the auctioneer began his spiel, Alastor observed, waiting for the last minute so as not to stir up too much competition.
âDo I hear 500 for a starting bid? 500, how about 550- 550, 600?â
Slowly but surely the number rose, a bit of competitive grandstanding breaking out and fizzling down at around 3,000 when he placed his own bid.
â3,500! Do we have 3,550? 3,500 going once- 3,550! 36? Do I have 36? Yes, sir, 3,600!â
âTen thousand!â
âTen thousand! Thank you sir! I have ten thousand-â
Now who in the- oh, never mind. He should have knownâŠ
Voxâs screen glowed bright as he sneered across the room at him, Valentino at his side swooning.
Smile widening and glowing, Alastor countered with an easy, calm â20.â
âTwenty thousand! Do I have-â
â30!â
Heâd been hoping to avoid getting into a bidding war, but now as he leaned back in his seat and crossed his legs nonchalantly, the sinister delight at the opportunity to put Vox in his place was well worth whatever sum he landed on. The picture box had accumulated quite a fortune over the years, but he had a good few decades on him to gain his demonic wealth. Let the alpha drive the price; it would only make Alastorâs victory all the sweeter.
â100!â
Valentino looked as though he were about to sexually peak- a very real possibility for the perverted moth. Vox stood defiant and panting as Alastor leaned his cheek on his knuckles and countered yet again. It was too easy to rile the other demon!
â5! 500,000!â
âIncredible sir! I have five-â
â600,â Alastor gave his singsong reply, cocking his head as Voxâs screen flickered and flashed in alpha rage.
âSix hundred thousand! Do I have a counter, sir? 600,000 going once!â
Vox clenched his teeth as Velvette muted his speakers and a panting Valentino hid the bidding paddle. Oh, how utterly delightful!
â600,000 going twice!â
The alpha finally seated himself with a pout when the auctioneer declared Alastor the winner, and he reveled in the snub as he turned his gaze from his glowing paddle down to the stoic prize.
âThank you very much, sir! This beautiful little fox is yours!â
The vixen never once lifted her eyes, not even to see who her new alpha would be. Her ears pinned as she walked calmly back behind the curtain to await her fate, tail waving gently with the sway of her hips. The next omega was near carried out on shaking legs, and the auctioneer continued the show.
Thankfully the auction itself didnât take too horribly long, most omegas selling rather quickly. He knew the room would be swimming with pheromones, with the way the demons in the room drooled and watched each offering, but his own demonic senses (even with the added cervid attributes) only scented the heavy sweat, excitement and fear on the air.
Usually he enjoyed the heady aroma of fear, however this wasnât his idea of good sport. He much preferred a well-matched challenge- a good fight and subsequent torture on the airwaves was his idea of a good time.
These poor shmucks, however. Well, some of them might have a decent enough time ahead of them. He doubted it though.
As the last omega was dragged offstage, he sank into his shadows with a sharp, glowing yellow grin to Vox and swam through darkness to pick up his newest pet. Forming at the pickup zone, he exchanged his bidding paddle for a small purple cube.
âPlease keep your omega in her kennel until youâve left the building. If you have any others already, please keep her in a separate room until you have her fully trained. This one is aggressive. I canât say with confidence she wonât hurt others if given the chance.â
Ah. A dimensional cage, no larger than a die- so thatâs how they trafficked their inventory. Interesting.
He made his way home in a flash, heels clicking against the hardwood of the foyer as he stepped out of shadows. Holding the small cube out, he stretched his senses and felt for the dimensional lock. The mechanism snapped, and the cube glowed as the demon within was released.
A bright orb separated to hover in front of him, growing and forming shape before finally the vixen stood before him. She made no move to run, carefully lifting her gaze to examine her surroundings, nose flaring as she scented the air.
That was when her eyes widened, and she looked directly at him.
âYouâre not an alpha,â she said, not exactly accusatory, but not exactly friendly either.
Alastorâs grin widened as he answered, âAn astute observation, Vixen. I manifested as a beta.â
The demoness frowned, brows knitting as she worked to understand her current situation. âWhy have you bought me?â
âAh, that is simple, my dear! I wish to liberate you!â
Ruby hearts widened as the demoness loosened her features.
âWhat?â
âYes indeedy!â He nodded fervently, twirling his cane between his fingers as he built up his proposal. âThereâs so much more to the afterlife- Iâd like to offer you a deal, my dear.â
The vixenâs gaze turned skeptical and guarded once more, but he kept speaking.
âNever again will your presentation be taken advantage of, never again will anyone, alpha or otherwise, demand your sexual servitude- I will personally guarantee this,â he continued, walking around the cautious demon.
She rose a skeptical brow, eyes following his movement. âAnd in exchange you want my soul,â she countered, a scoff sounding away the thought.
âYou are quick, arenât you?â He teased, leaning forward to hold his hand out.
âAnd why would you think I would give it to you? You say you wish to liberate me, yet you offer total ownership?â
Wrath flashed in her eyes as she stood against him. âAt least under an omega claim, I still have my soul. I will never give up my autonomy. My soul is mine, no matter what you try to do or offer.â
Well⊠This may be a bit more challenging than he originally thought.
đŹ 0  đ 0  â€ïž 9 · Fanfics Masterpost · Iâll update this as I upload đ
Feral
This is the reader adventure version. Iâll try to get the
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Imagine a Cinderella AU with Vox where youâre Katie Killjoyâs stepdaughter and you hear VoxTek is throwing a celebration party for a 500% increase in viewership and positive ratings.
Wanting to escape from being your stepmotherâs servant for one night, you find one of your motherâs old dresses and ask your imp friends if they can fix it up for you and remove the bloodstains from when she was caught in an Extermination. They do so perfectly, because youâre the only Sinner whoâs ever treated them with kindness.
At the party, Vox is thinking itâs so dumb Val insisted on it being a masquerade party, because duh everyone can still tell who he is. Heâd like to say he can recognise his employees, but he canât, because he never pays attention to them. Itâs a bit boring for a party honestly. Itâs all same old, with Katie Killjoy harassing him, Angel Dust being one of the dancers, Velvette streaming it so Hell could see what it was missing out on. Everyoneâs here already, right?
The doors opening again catches his attention, and something in Voxâs coding glitches when he sees you. Holy fuck. Who were you? He thinks heâd remember seeing you. Next to him, Val yelps as Vox nearly drops his drink right onto Valâs outfit. Had he seen you before? Were you an employee? You had to be - the invite was only sent out to high ranking department heads and their families. And⊠are you wearing glass slippers? That has to be painful. Vox sympathises despite himself, knowing all too well how breakable glass can be.
You almost choke when the Vox leaves where heâs been chatting to the other Vees and offers you his hand. Thereâs a sharp screech from your stepmother too, but you donât think sheâs recognised you. You donât look like yourself. You hardly feel like yourself.
The night passes in a blur, and you spend it entirely clutched at Voxâs side. You even manage to meet the other Vees, and accomplished the rare feat of making them laugh at your jokes.
âSo, who are you anyway?â Vox asks. The two of you are sat outside on a balcony, and you wish it was private, but it isnât.
âA Sinner,â you say. He canât know. A CEO would want someone on his level. Not a⊠Well, you were practically a scullery maid.
Vox laughs. âObviously. Come on. Trust me.â Something fizzles in one of his eyes, and you think it might be his hypnosis abilities subconsciously flaring up. Thankfully, you keep your gaze averted so youâre unaffected.
âFine. I can tell you weâve never met.â
âAgain, obvious,â Vox states. âYou are someone worth remembering.â Your face flushes crimson. Okay, maybe youâd gained a crush from your stepmotherâs posters of him, but you hadnât come expecting him to notice you. You just wanted a night away from being a servant in your own home.
âSo can I get your name?â Vox asks.
You pause. Would Katie put two and two together? You didnât want to risk it. It was bad enough her talking to Tom Trench near you.
âMy nameâŠâ you say. âWhatâs in a name? If we all change it when we come down here, it canât be that useful.â
âYouâre good at deflection,â Vox notes. âYouâd make an excellent director at VoxTek.â That would be a position - no, multiple positions - above your stepmother. So would being Voxâs lover.
But Vox wouldnât be caught dead with a maid and you know that. He thinks youâre some employee heâs never seen around. That he can just track you down after this.
âThatâs silly,â you say.
âSoâs avoiding an Overlordâs question,â he counters. âLook, just tell me your name. I wanna speak to you again. Youâre not fake like everyone in there.â
But you are. Youâre faking more than anyone else.
âOkay, okay.â Your first name canât give him any information. Youâre wearing a mask. He wonât even know.
âMy name-â The clock strikes midnight.
Your blood runs cold. Midnight is the time your stepmother said sheâd leave the party to prepare for her early morning news. Shit. And sheâll be expecting you to be there to take her jacket. Shit. Shit, shit.
âIâm sorry!â you blurt out, practically throwing yourself off the bench. Vox tilts his screen as you scramble away.
âYou, uh, you good?â
âFine!â you lie. âJust gotta go. Bye now!â
Vox moves to grab your arm but youâre far nimbler than he is.
Youâve almost made it halfway down Vee Tower stairs, but itâs hard when every screen on the way down is overtaken by Vox yelling for you to come back and for someone to get you. Youâre pretty sure some of the people sucking up to him are in pursuit of you.
Then your shoe breaks.
âOw! What the fuck?â Curse your friends not being able to find proper footwear!
Agitatedly, you kick off the shoe and shove open the tower doors. One of your imp friends is waiting for you in the car and he stares at you and then pales at the security guards chasing you.
âWhat did you do exactly?â
You leap into the car and slam the door. âDrive! Drive now!â Thank god Hell doesnât allow speed limits as you two book it out of there.
Vox stands at the bottom of the tower a few minutes later. He couldnât have gone crazy, had he? No, youâd spoken to the others so you couldnât be a figment of his imagination. Then why had you left without a trace? And without even telling him your name? God damn it, heâd liked you.
Something glints in the corner and Vox snaps his head around. Huh. You left one of your shoes.
He awkwardly kneels down and picks it up. Glass. Definitely you.
âVoxy? Come on, youâre missing the party. Angel Cakes is putting on a wonderful show.â Vox ignores Val, and the moth demon comes closer. âAh, the runaway. Canât be helped. Probably some low ranker who snuck in. Mightâve been one of mine or Velvetteâs.â
No. You couldnât have been. You had too much confidence for that. So did that mean you werenât a Vee employee? Then - then Vox couldnât find you. And, oh, he wanted to find you. He so badly loved a chase.
Vox clears his throat. âVal?â
âYeah?â
âWeâre making a broadcast tonight. Weâre finding that girl. Whoever finds the girl that fits this shoe gets a million - no, two million. Weâre fucking finding her.â
And Vox isnât going to let you go again.
Miles away, you hide the dress and the other shoe under your floorboards. No one has to know. No one can ever know.
Besides, itâs not like Vox wouldâve liked you enough to try find you.
I can't stop thinking about the fact that you collide with Alastor and fall to the ground. You look at each other for a long moment and his thing swells in his pants. He "runs away" because he doesn't know what it means and what he has to do (after) but the baby doesn't even realize that he's lost his smile.
And oh⊠how much Alastor enjoys fucking you and broadcasting your moans over the radio (putting it in every room Lucifer happens to be in) just to spite him.
Hello! ⥠Below is a link to a dialogue masterlist for Hazbin Hotel's Vox, Valentino, Velvette, and Alastor! You might be wondering, what is a dialogue masterlist? To answer your question, I took it upon myself to compile a comprehensive database of all spoken dialogue for each of the aforementioned characters. (I skipped most songs, especially in Vox's case (because there was A LOT of content there), except in cases where I felt the lyrics were particularly relevant to the character's speaking to style or in reference to all of Velvette's singing, as she had the least spoken dialogue of the four characters.) This includes all canon material (episodes and official comics), and in Alastor's case, the pilot. Your second question may very well be: why did you do this? This was a personal project where I felt I could use a quick reference to aid in writing realistic dialogue, and I am choosing to share it in case someone else finds my efforts to be of use. Thirdly, you may be curious as to why I only did this for the three Vees and Alastor. Frankly, I am most inspired to write for these particular characters, and because this was, again, a personal project, I tailored it to my own needs. If there is interest, I could be convinced bribed to take on the task of doing this for other characters. Finally, I want to give credit to fandom.com for supplying some of the base on which I started - I referenced their quotes pages for each character and their episode transcripts. I preserved the tags that indicated context and added my own for each line, and admittedly, I had a little fun with it, as you might notice. Anyway, below is the download link - if you notice any mistakes (I am human, unfortunately after all) or find this useful, please let me know! Be aware that given the fact that this is a transcription, this material does contain spoilers. And please do not spread or alter this without credit - I spend too many hours of my life on this to have my work stolen. All my love! âĄ
⥠Google Drive âĄ
(Also! As an additional reference, I refer to the below scene packs (direct links to original compilations, not by me), on YouTube if I want to review tone, cadence, etc.
who? nerd!spencer reid and cheerleader!reader
what? falling in love. . . or something along the lines of such
when? you can only meet a high school sweetheart in high school (except it's also modern day because i make the rules here)
where? hallways and classrooms and the library and the cafeteria and the bleachers and basically everyfuckingwhere
why? fuck if i know
how? is what spencer asks himself every night
found an angel wearing plaid
‷ in which, instead of eating lunch with your friends, you play nurse, with a hallway as your exam room and a pretty boy as your patient
third period
‷ in which an asshole teacher unknowingly plays matchmaker â a student with not-so-good grades and one with a scarily high iq, what could go wrong?
the table
‷ in which the robbery of spencerâs beloved table leads to the beginning of something heâd only ever dreamed of before â a friendship (ew)
& so much more, i think, hopefully coming soon!
ps.: this list is subject to changes. or complete deletion due to the indecisive authorâs terrible yet recurring habit of giving up.
Hazbin hotel soulmate AU where you and your soulmate can both share each otherâs pain.
Growing up, you never cried from any phantom pain at all, and when you were taken to the doctor, tests said that you were one of the 0.001% that had a soulmate who was already long dead by the time you were born. This kind of ruined your life. Everyone else had someone, and you were stuck with someone youâd never even know. You got bullied a lot for being the outlier.
However, one benefit is that you were always able to get into a ton of fights. Sure it resulted in a bunch of shady stuff that got you killed, but you didnât have it in you to care. No soulmate, no reason to live like youâre made of glass. The doctors at your local hospital knew you by name and practically reserved a room for you.
So when you ended up in Hell, it terrified you when pain shot through your arm and youâd done nothing. You guessed that because you were as dead as your soulmate, you two could feel each otherâs pain.
You told this to one of your friends from the gang youâd joined, and sheâd stared at you like youâd grown a second head before laughing.
âOh, Y/N. No, the scientists got it wrong because Heaven and Hell exist. If only one of you is alive, the dead soulmate will still feel it.â
Ah. Youâd lost quite a bit of empathy being down here, but you still felt kinda bad for your soulmate. Youâd caused them a lot more injuries than theyâd ever made for you.
Eventually, you would meet them for the first time. The bond snaps into place as you two stare at each other. Youâre left speechless - but your soulmate speaks before you can even process whatâs going on.
âYou.â They point a finger at you in total shock and outrage. âWhat the hell is wrong with you, you masochist?! Iâve never met anyone who gets hurt as much as you did! What the fuck?!â
And thatâs the very first thing your soulmate ever says to you.
nothing on this god's green earth can convince me that peter parker doesn't have an ao3 account where he is elbows deep in a 'rise of skywalker' fix-it fic. like, fully invested in it, been writing it pre-spider bite with ned, who is just as enthusiastic about it. but the thing is, it's really hard to do updates when you are literally spider-man.
every three months he'll post and in the author's note there's some shit like "sorry this took a while, i got shot seven times :/" or "i know it's been a minute, i literally got hit by a bus and then stabbed in the leg, but i'm all good!" or sometimes ned would log in and post with a note "hey i'm a friend posting on the author's behalf, they're healing from severe hypothermia but promised an update, so here it is!"
and the fic just gets increasingly more popular for the author notes alone. a good handful of the comments are something along the lines of "i'm not even in the star wars fandom, i'm just here to see if the author is good" or "every update i cheer for another day the author gets to live at this point"
and any reader who is a native new yorker kind of pieces together that holy shit the author might be spider-man because the timeline adds up, and they just fully embrace it. spider-man will stop a robbery and the guy behind the counter will ask when the next chapter will be up. spider-man returns a stolen backpack to a girl and she'll tell him that he "really got poe's voice down so well, it's really impressive."
ned thinks it is hilarious. mj finds out about the fic from twitter, to peter's absolute horror, and changes peter's contact name to "friendly neighborhood ao3 author". but the worst thing to happen is after an avengers battle where peter took a pretty big hit and ends up in med-bay. and during a press conference, when someone asks how spider-man is healing, tony just drops "spidey won't be down for too long. the star wars fic will be updated within the week, probably."
I NEED YOU ALL TO NEVER FORGET DIS. IMMORTALIZE IT. IF YOU ARE A VOX GIRLIE YOU WILL REBLOG THIS SO THAT TIME WILL NEVER ERASE THIS GLORIOUS MOMENT.
HUGE SHOUT OUT TO @peach-flavored-flambe for catching this. I started wheezing/laughing for like a solid 5 minutes. She even provided the receipts which made this 10x funnier. God I love you đ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Łđ€Ł
litterateur of intergalactic worlds @diffidentphantom - Tumblr Blog | Tumgag