Liza

✨🍒

[filenames]

[stanleylt]

GIVE ME THE WADDLE DEE

[dilfo]

Introvert: please don't talk to me dirty extrovert

Extrovert: [screaming like a chimp and throwing own faeces]

Introvert: I want to read Hemingway in peace!!

Extrovert: [smears shit across the wall shrieking]

[samspurpletoothbrush]

WHEN CHARACTERS WAKE UP IN A HOSPITAL BED AND THEN PROCEED TO RIP OUT THEIR IVS

[irl-mary]

You: Dude, cheer up Me, an intellectual: Young man, there’s no need to feel down

[serious]

If you end up with a boring, miserable life because you listened to your mom, your dad, your teacher, your priest, or some guy on television telling you how to do your shit, then you deserve it.

Frank Zappa

make your own decisions and live your life or somebody else will

(via misjudgments)

[cookii-whore]

[nick-avallone]

i adore my mom beyond words but i have to mom-shame her for always doing this to me 

[nick-avallone]

so i showed my mom the post hahaha 

[galaxy-lives]

this is the most wholesome and entertaining mom post on tumblr

[juu-arts]

What if Geodude had legs

ok nvm

[murdock]

No more.

[lipoil-deactivated20160909]

Man: wyd 🍆😋 Me: ..realizing things

[thesassycat]

*Seductively lays on a table* Hey bab- *Table breaks*

[dustspeck-deactivated20190423]

the ocean is problematic

- knocks me tf down 

- crazy fishy 

- sand in ass

[slimetony]

don’t even get me started

[60670577550780-deactivated20170]

Okay

[slimetony]

thanks

[onlytwitterpics]

[soulgems]

SO AT WORK TODAY I WALKED IN AND MY MANAGER WAS ON THE GROUND CRYING AND I WAS LIKE KIM WHAT’S WRONG AND SHE POINTS TO THE ORDER SCREEN AND IT SAYS WE NEED TO MAKE 2000 PIZZAS BY 6 PM SO I CALLED THE GUY AND HE WAS LIKE “I MEANT TO ORDER 20 PIZZAS OH MY GOD I’M SO SORRY I’M ON MOBILE” AND I’VE NEVER LAUGHED THAT HARD IN MY ENTIRE LIFE

[dekutree]

girls: spank me i’ve been naughty

me: its okay we all make mistakes 

[caecilius24]

[odendirk-blog]

dont have to tell me twice

[skilala]

the motto