Safety & Order

“Have pity on those who are fearful of taking up a pen, or a paintbrush, or an instrument, or a tool because they are afraid that someone has already done so better than they could…” - Paulo Coelho Independent OC daughter of Fabian Prewett and Amelia Bones. Completely AU. This blog may contain triggering content, such as death, suicide, eating disorders, addiction, torture, and other nsfw themes. Please procede with caution. This is a sideblog

[theretrogrademoon-blog]

just looking out for you || hermia & phoebe

[theretrogrademoon-blog]

          Phoebe watched with interest as her sister began her frantic leaps around the room. Fire did have such a way of motivating people out of inactivity. Really, Phoebe was doing her a favour – Hermia didn’t get nearly enough exercise.

           Sooner or later, Hermia was going to remember that she had a wand, and then all of this fun would be over. Until then, she sat and watched the charred pieces of cloth fall from her sister’s body, laughing.

[diligxnce]

   It was only when she felt the wet sensation of tears trickling down her chin that the girl even realized that she had started crying - sobbing, more like. Ugly, loud tears emerging from her throat, and twisting her features into something monstrous, something beyond saving.

   There was fire on her skin, on her clothes, slowly making its way to her hair. There was panic in her voice, closing up her throat, and making her scream. There was pain, so much pain, all over her body. There was pain inside her lungs...

                                                    (The sound of her sister laughing at it all)

   She wondered, would Phoebe put her out if she didn't manage to stop the fire on her own? Or would she simply keep laughing as the last parts of her burned away, reducing her to nothing but a black pile of dirt on the ground, waiting to be swept away and thrown into the trash bin? Would she still feel the fire when she was ashes?

   Somewhere in between, she stopped jumping.

[theretrogrademoon-blog]

playing games || Data & Hermia & Molly & Phoebe

[pxsitronic]

               “I have  no intention of chastising anybody,  Miss

     Bones-Prewett.   I   do  not   believe   that   your    sister       intended   any   disrespect   with  her  words,   and   her      behavior does not merit disciplinary action. In any case,      as  the two of you are civilian passengers, I do not  hold      authority over your actions in that way.  The only one of      you  whom  I have the right to discipline is your  cousin,      Cadet  Weasley, and she has behaved in as  exemplary      a fashion as always.”

               Data  was aware that he was entering  a  delicate      situation.  Family dynamics, something he found  to  be       both  fascinating  and incredibly difficult to grasp,  were      sensitive, compounded as they were with years of hurts      and  offenses  to  complicate  matters.  It  was  obvious      even  to  him that the twins had  a  deeply  complicated      relationship.  As fascinating as he found their  dynamic,      he determined that the  correct course of action was to      stay  out  of  the  argument  and do  his  best  to  avoid      escalating matters further.

[thestubbornsquib]

      “Not literally always”, she blurted out, “I mean… exemplary means  to exceed expectation  and do much more than what is required from you, and I rarely do that. Even if you said that it’s just… following the rules, and, um, act like I’m supposed to act, there’s  been  exceptions.   Remember  when  I  yelled  at  that creepy Ambassador  guy?  Or,  um,  when I broke that…  um… that  blinking…  thing?  And just  this month,  I forgot to  set my alarm two—”

    The woman cut herself off abruptly when she caught herself rambling for so long, and stepped back again, blushing.

    “I'm sorry, Commander”

[theretrogrademoon-blog]

          Without warning, Phoebe suddenly lashed out, punching her cousin squarely on the shoulder. Not enough even to bruise, mind, but enough at least to hurt a little bit.

           “Moooooooooolllls,” Phoebe whined, all but hanging off her arm. “Quit it with the modesty, will you? Your commanding officer just paid you a very lovely compliment – be a good girl and tell Commander Data thank you.”

[diligxnce]

   Part of her was relieved for the Commanders words about her, if only ever so slightly, for her embarrassment still overshadowed every other emotional reaction inside her that she might have had. The other, much larger part of her, only kept despairing further, at the simple prospect of being addressed by the android again.

   "Okay", she squeaed before she could stop herself, and closed her eyes tightly. She had instantly regretted the decision to make another sound.

[pxsitronic]

the exception to the rule || Data & Hermia

[pxsitronic]

                As Data listened, he accessed the relevant program to appear 

     more  fully  attentive.  It was not, strictly  speaking,  necessary  –  his      human  affectations  did not in any way aid  comprehension,  and  in      fact engaged resources that could  otherwise be spent analyzing the      collected  works  of  Lewis  Carroll – but  he  was  fairly  certain  that      Hermia,  despite  her request that he desist in his  human  imitations,      would   appreciate   the  gesture.  Simple  courtesy  seemed   to   be      something more acceptable to her.

                Besides, he found what she was saying to be very interesting,      and he did not want to appear  bored,  or in any way discourage her      from continuing.

                “Fascinating. Why,  then,  do you believe that other emotions      make  an  appearance in those situations?  Is it not  maladaptive  to       feel angry or happy in the wrong context? It seems as though those      errors in experience should not exist.”

                “The  person who told me that was ship’s counselor  Deanna      Troi. As an empath,  she has a great deal of understanding of all the      emotions that humanoids typically experience. While I would not go       so  far  as  to  call  her a ‘cheerful’ person,  she  does  have  a  more      positive outlook on life than many I have encountered.”

[diligxnce]

   "Oh, no, you misunderstood, or maybe it was just not phrased clearly enough", she said, and so much unlike her, her demeanor still remained calm, and patient, with only the slight furrowing of her brows to indicate the slight irritation she felt at having to explain herself to him again.

   "Just because some emotions are helpful and reasonable, doesn't mean that they are governed by logic. They still are a symptom of our lesser instinct, of our relation to animals, and the better parts of us - our minds, our consciousness have to constantly evaluate whether a feeling fits a situation, if it's appropriate, and if it helps you work through something. These bad emotions still exist - we cannot control them. What we must control, however , is whether we express them, and whether we let them take up space in our minds"

   She pursed her lip.

   "If we fail to do that, then it is our own fault if we can't keep up with reality"

   "Well, that explains it, then, doesn't it? If you experience mostly pleasurable emotions, and dealing with them is literally your hob, then of course you'll have a more optimistic outlook on them as a whole" 

[theretrogrademoon-blog]

playing games || Data & Hermia & Molly & Phoebe

[pxsitronic]

               For a moment, Data simply stared at Hermia. “I am aware 

     that  relaying  that joke would  be inappropriate, given  you  and      your  sister’s  age – I have accordingly  decided not to  share  it      with you.”

               Feeling that he had to at least attempt to uphold protocol,      he added, “While your call to action may be warranted, I am the      ship’s  Second  Officer – it is  inappropriate for a  private  citizen      such as yourself to issue orders to me.”

[thestubbornsquib]

   As she stood there, observing the course of the conversation, the young woman found herself growing increasingly uncomfortable with its development. She had not expected a simple meeting with her cousins to develop into something this tense, though, perhaps, she should have expected something of the sort, considering their conflicting personalities.

   ”Um…”, she looked around nervously before she took a step forward, closer to Phoebe, “Let’s just, um… let’s all just calm down”

[theretrogrademoon-blog]

          “Oh no, let’s not,” Phoebe said, grinning broadly. “You lot are far more fun when you’ve worked your way into a tizzy like this. Go on, Commander – tell my sister what an awful, disrespectful wretch she is!”

          She grinned brighter still. “And then tell us the inappropriate joke.”

[diligxnce]

   She was not going to start getting emotional. No, she had already let go of her professionalism enough - far too much than she could afford - she could not let herself go any further, or it could seriousl damage her, and make a terrible situation even worse than it was already.

   She could cry about it later, all she wanted, now, she needed to get a hold of herself. She'd issue a simple apology, and go on with business as usual, while still showing him that she knew her place. That was the best way for her to continue now.

    When she opened her mouth to speak, all that came out was a single, pitiful squeak.

    Right. It seemed she wasn't going to have much luck with all this talking business, not for how much longer this conversation was going to drag on, that was for sure. But hey - at least she hadn't fainted from sheer embarrassment. Baby steps.

    At the base of her throat, she could feel hot tears pressing against her eyes.

[theretrogrademoon-blog]

split || hermia & phoebe

[theretrogrademoon-blog]

          “That’s different! Lainey’s like Mum – she’s in Hufflepuff because she’s a good person. You’re there because there’s nowhere else for you. You’re not brave or sly or clever enough to go anywhere else. I know it, the Sorting Hat knew it, and Mum and Dad are gonna know it too.”

           “Like I’d want to be a stupid Hufflepuff like you. I asked the Hat to put me in Gryffindor. I could’ve been in Hufflepuff if I wanted, but I didn’t, because I’m not stupid and useless like you!”

[diligxnce]

    Anything she might have wanted to say, to add to her previous argument, was slowly, and painfully dissolved wit the acid of her sister's worlds. She had wanted to bring up their mother, how she could have been proud of her, so why wasn't Phoebe, too? She had wanted to bring up Gus and Lainey - how they were in different houses, but could still be close with each other. How it wasn't her fault she wasn't in the same house with her.

   But none of that mattered now.

   What was she supposed to say to that? Because the truth was that her sister was right. She knew herself, and with that she knew that she wasn't... anything really. There was nothing special about her, and the Sorting had just given further proof of that. But really, she had known it all along.

   She was just a stupid, weak little girl who couldn't even get her own family to like her, just because there wasn't anything likable about her. What was the point of her even being there?

   "You're lying", she said, weakly, too focused on fighting her tears to be able to put any real force behind her argument, "I'm... I'm hard working. That's why I'm here. You're just... mean"

[theretrogrademoon-blog]

split || hermia & phoebe

diligxnce

          “What the hell, Hermie, what the actual hell. Hufflepuff? We were going to be together! We’re supposed to be twins, and you get yourself sorted into stupid Hufflepuff.”

          “Dad’s going to be so disappointed in you.”

[diligxnce]

    "That's not true! Lainey's in Hufflepuff, too, and nobody ever got mad at her when she went to Hufflepuff! It's so stupid, you're the one who all wanted to be like, like, like... not like that, and now you're in Gryffindor!"

    "If you were in Hufflepuff, we could have all been together, but with Lainey, too!"

[pxsitronic]

the exception to the rule || Data & Hermia

[pxsitronic]

                “This topic is most intriguing, but before we proceed I must 

     reiterate  the fact that, given the limitations of my  programming,  I      can  speak  of emotion only by referencing  my  observations  and      discussions with others. I have no personal experience from which      to   draw.   As   such,  I  find  your   input   particularly   interesting,      especially given the uniqueness of each individual’s  perspective.”

               “What  distinguishes  a sensible  emotion from  others?  Do      you  mean that these emotions are  situationally appropriate,  that      they  are  based off of logical conclusions, some  combination  of      the  two,  or some other explanation?  I have been told that  while      one’s  behavior may be either sensible of  maladaptive,  emotions      themselves  are  not  in  and of themselves  negative  or  positive,      but rather simply are.”

[diligxnce]

    There was a small pause, then, as Hermia was once again put in a place of great discomfort. The android's perspective was so fundamentally different from her own, from that of any person she knew, that in that moment, she was completely overwhelmed by it all. It was unlike any situation she had even the most marginal experience with. How was she supposed to explain something as comple a this to someone who didn't know anything about anything?

    "Well, thank you", she said, and cleared her throat. Her voice was louder than it needed to be, a little too stiff to suit the situation, "I shall do my best to explain it, then"

    "It's a combination of it. Any emotion that is appropriate for the situation must also be based on logical conclusions, but not any emotion that is based on logical conclusions is also appropriate for the situation. But it is not only public situations you have to consider, but also the general state of mind that a person has - but to simplify it, I'd say that an emotion makes sense if it is based on accurate facts and is suitable for a situation you're in, if that's the case"

    She looked down, and let out a small chuckle.

    "Oh, but trust me, there are plenty of negative emotions. Whoever told you that must've been an unnaturally cheerful person"

[introspectixn]

cheers || elena & gus & hermia & phoebe & gabriel & martin

          “I rather think the situation calls for champagne, don’t you? After all, it’s not every day our sister opens her own business.”

          “To Phoebe! May her shop be busy, her customers loyal, and her ventures successful. We’re all very proud of you.”

[nyxangelic]

“Behold!”

“Articles of clothing my little sister                                    won’t set on fire.                                            Well done, Phoebe!”

[diligxnce]

   "Looks like it"

   "Of all things, it ended up the taste of clothes that finally put some breath of ambition into her. Who would have thought?"

[pxsitronic]

the exception to the rule || Data & Hermia

[pxsitronic]

               “As  a matter of fact, it is not. Reason would seem to  encourage 

     me to remain as I am, an unfeeling and purely rational being. My desire      to  become human does not, in the  strictest sense, follow the rules  of      logic.  It is a consequence of my  programming, and while it is at  odds      with  other  elements of my design,  I treasure this aspect of  myself.  It      makes me feel as though I have the potential to become more  human,      if only because I possess the capacity to want it.”

[diligxnce]

  "Emotions can be reasonable, too, if they make sense", she said, her  tone   much  more quiet  this time  around,   so much,   it  was almost timid.  She  did not  want  to get  into yet another  argument with the android if only for the... indescribable feeling of wrongness the conversation had created in her stomach,  these emotions that almost felt like guilt - though they couldn't be. Still, like it had been before, her nature was stronger than that, and so, she went on.

   "All I'm saying is that it doesn't have to be mutually exclusive. Just because  we humans are capable  of experiencing emotions  doesn't mean we are incapable of logic.  And just because our emotions can sometimes cloud our judgement,  doesn't mean they always have to. Sometimes, they help us get in perspective. Often, our emotions can help us make better decisions"

[introspectixn]

picking up the pieces || elena & hermia

[introspectixn]

               Elena listened in silence, inclining her head in agreement at 

     points and gazing attentively at her sister. She was a good listener,      in part because she legitimately did want to hear what other people      had to say. Spoken words revealed much about a person; words      left unsaid revealed even more. But more than that, Elena cared      deeply about ensuring that other people felt heard. A sympathetic      shoulder to cry on could be almost as effective a treatment for      distress as resolution of the underlying problem.

               When her sister had finished talking, Elena smiled to indicate      that she appreciated Hermia confiding in her. After taking a long,      slow breath, during which she finished composing her thoughts,      she said, “I think you forget that Phoebe is as fully independent      and complicated as you and I. What she does and what she says      doesn’t always reflect how she truly feels. Only she can no that –      you and I can only guess, informed by her outward behavior.      Whether she hates you or not,w e cannot fully know for certain, but      from what I know of our sister, I very much doubt that she does.”

               She drew in another steadying breath before continuing. “I do      know that family is incredibly important to Phoebe. It is, perhaps,      the most important thing in her life. I know that she can be cruel      towards you – I have witnessed the way that she treats you – but      that does not change the fact that you are family. I don’t think that      Phoebe is capable of truly hating her twin sister, as disappointed      as she is that you are so unlike her.”

[diligxnce]

   Oh, just hearing these things would be enough to bring the first notion of wetness,  and the promise of tears to her eyes - and yet, she struggled  to hold them back,  still.  It was not the time for this weakness; it never was.

   There was such  a large part of her  that was so ashamed of her own  limitations  that  it  wanted to  turn back,  to refuse  even  the tiniest bit of help that she needed to get back on her feet again, to make her run away  and lock herself up in her room,  was yelling at her to go and  do something useful instead of  wallowing in her self-pity, and misey.

   But she couldn't.

   Her  emotions  were playing  the strings,  and she,  lifeless and numb, had no choice but to endure their effects,  and being pulled into  whatever direction  they pulled her to.  And so,  he eyes met those of  her sister,  her gaze hopeful  and yet  full of despair and sadness.  They lingered there for  only a moment before  the girl, once again, shook her heard, and let out a defeated sigh.

   "I wish I could believe you",  she said,  biting her lip,  "I just...  I don't know. I can't"

   It was a topic that Hermia had considered quite a few times too many,  alone  at night,  after  yet  another  incident  with  her twin sister, pondering the same question over and over again:   'Who does love me?'  And over and over again,  she had arrived at the same conclusion: 'Not Phoebe'

   "You can't  know for sure  how she feels,  especially not  when she never  indicates any  positive emotion  toward me,  like she does with  the rest  of you.  Sure,  it could be  she's just good  at keeping it secret, but... why should she, hm? We both know she thinks I don't really fit in with the rest of the family"

   She looked down again.

   "I don't even blame her. She's right"

[pxsitronic]

the exception to the rule || Data & Hermia

[pxsitronic]

     “That  is correct. I have no  personal experience with  the 

     emotional aspects of wanting. However, I have observed      how  strong a motivator  desire can be, and it is  perhaps      best  that  I  cannot  feel.  Emotional  considerations  can      often  lead  individuals  to   make  inadvisable  decisions.      Unburdened by feeling, I can,  in all situations, chose the      most appropriate option available.”

     “There  are, however, certain  disadvantages to a  purely      logical approach to life.  A lack of meaning, for instance;      I  do  not truly understand the importance of  a  birthday      celebration,  or  the joy that a  person feels when  in  the      company  of  those dear  to him. I would  gladly  accept      the consequences of imprudent action if I could feel the      results of my decision.”

[diligxnce]

   After the android spoke, Hermia continued to remain quiet for a very long while. She did not even dare to make a move, so deeply lost was she in pondering his words and reflecting them upon herself.

   It seemed she had been wrong in her judgement - No, it was rather, she had been too harsh with him. It was not that she had been wrong, exactly, she told herself - she simply did not have all the information at the time that she had made her judgement. That could hardly be considered her fault, could it?

   Yet, the girl did not know how to deal with trying to correct her... misjudgment, and make away the hurt she had... accidentally caused with her words.

   After a while, she cleared her throat, which quickly developed into a long, awkward coughing fit. When she was finished with that, she took a step back, and gave him a long, intense look.

   "Uh... I see", she said, "That... is reasonable. That is.. that was all reasonable"

[theretrogrademoon-blog]

just looking out for you || hermia & phoebe

[theretrogrademoon-blog]

          “It’s not me I have to get over, Herms – it’s your appalling taste in fashion, and I’m afraid I can’t quite manage that. It’s a personal failing of mine, my inability to simply let people make a fool of themselves by dressing poorly.”

           Her sister’s attack stopped her directly in her tracks.

           “You hit me,” Phoebe said, looking down at her arm with an air of wounded shock.

          With a tremendous sigh, she shook her head. “I've tried being reasonable with you, Hermia, I really have, but I'm afraid you leave me no choice. Incendio!”

[diligxnce]

   "I didn't hit you, I shoved--"

   Before she knew it the girl was violently jerked away from her thoughts, so distracted by her upcoming rant that she hadn't even noticed when Phoebe launched her attacked on her. Shrieking, screaming, and flailing her arms in the air without proper direction, she jumped away from her sister at once.

   Seeing as her blouse was still on fire, her movement increased in fortitude as she kept on jumping on the spot and shrieking like a wild harpy, driven by shock as well as the irrational fear of burning alive - as though jumping around the room like a lunatic was going to do anything to prevent that.

   This fear, however, was slowly turning into sheer panic, as her blouse continued to burn away, and fell off her body in pieces.

[theretrogrademoon-blog]

playing games || Data & Hermia & Molly & Phoebe

[pxsitronic]

           Data furrowed his brow and cocked his head to one side. 

     “I believe  that you are confused, Miss Bones-Prewett.  I  am      an  android;  I  am  not capable of being  funny,  despite  my      attempts to improve my sense of humor.”

          “I have learned a few old Earth jokes that I could attempt      to relay. For instance – what do you call a man who – ”

           He paused. “According to Commander Riker, that joke is      inappropriate  for  younger audiences. You will  have  to  ask      me to tell it to you once you are older.”

[thestubbornsquib]

   ”Oh, that sounds interesting. Is it a wordplay joke? I’ve been trying to get behind those. I do believe they follow some.. they can make sense after a while. Can you- oh —”

   She shot a glance around the room. “Can you tell it to me later?”

   It was only then that the woman realized that they had somehow managed to drift off-topic, and forgot their actual work. She flushed at the realization, awkwardly lifting her weight rom one foot, to the other.

   ”But, um… yes Phoebe. I can um. Show you around, if you like”

[theretrogrademoon-blog]

          “But I want to hear the rest of the joke!” Phoebe clapped her hands together like a delighted child. “Go on, Commander, you can tell us! I swear I won’t tell our parents. Can’t make any promises about Hermia, though – you should send her away before you tell me so that she won’t be tempted to rat you out to Mum and Dad.”

          Turning to her cousin, Phoebe said sweetly, “Molly, dear. I don’t need you to show me around. I’ve the ship’s computer for that. Really, it’s no bother at all – if you lot aren’t going to entertain me, I can come up with something else fun to do.”

[diligxnce]

   "Commander, this is thoroughly inappropriate, and completely uncalled for", she snapped impatiently at the android, "This situation is getting out of control, and if you don't do something about it right now, I promise you, it will either escalate, or go on forever"

    She crossed her arms, to emphasise the point.

   "We are wasting time. Act!"

[theretrogrademoon-blog]

just looking out for you || hermia & phoebe

[theretrogrademoon-blog]

          Phoebe smirked at her sister, incredibly amused by her little run-in with the wall. “It’s not my fault you’re a moron, Herms. Mum and Dad have to answer for that one, not me.”

          She moved so that she was stationed between Hermia in the door, effectively blocking her way out. “Sorry, Hermia – no can do. Think of it as the humanitarian in me trying to save the world from the horrors of your fashion choices. Now go on – take the shirt off. I’ll even turn my back while you change if you’d like.”

[diligxnce]

   "Phoebe! Ugh! ! It's just a plain, white blouse. Get over yourself already!"

   The girl did not want to admit it, and maybe, she had not even fully realized yet, but the way that her sister had insulted her intelligence again had stung with her this time, igniting new fury within the girl. For she did not want to linger in shame, she took a step to the side, and harshly shoved Phoebe away from her with her arm.

   "I'm leaving!"

[theretrogrademoon-blog]

just looking out for you || hermia & phoebe

[theretrogrademoon-blog]

               “Hey, don’t you go running off now! I’ve not even had the 

     chance to tell you my compromise!”

                “How does this sound –– you take off that awful blouse and      let me pick out something better, and I won’t set that one on fire. I      think that’s more than reasonable, sister dear.”

[diligxnce]

   Hermia whirled hear head around furiously, while still she continued to walk backwards toward the door.  It was more than obvious, by now, that her partence was running thin. She had no mind to deal with this today. Or ever.

   "No, no, no! I'll be gone, leaving. I have important things to do. So, just don't, I--"

   Walking backwards, she hit the back of her head on the wall, and instantly jumped away, biting down a curse word,before she deepened her glare toward her sister.

   "Ugh! See what you did now? Leave! I don't wanna see your stupid face, or have yous tupid hands touch my blouse. Just leave!"

[theretrogrademoon-blog]

playing games || Data & Hermia & Molly & Phoebe

[pxsitronic]

     “As I personally do not have the time to supervise 

     Miss  Bones-Prewett to ensure her safety,  may  I      suggest  that we escort her to Ten Forward?  She      will be surrounded by other  people there and will      be in little danger of inadvertently injuring herself.”

[thestubbornsquib]

  Molly understood, of course, that with ‘we’, he meant her,  and so she turned to him,  and gave  him a quick nod before she took Phoebe by the hand.

   ”Of course. I will get her there now”

[theretrogrademoon-blog]

          Phoebe jerked her hand out of Molly’s grip immediately. “Hey!” she protested, immediately crossing her arms to protect her against more unplanned hand-holding. “I'm not going anywhere – I want to follow Hermie and the funny android commander! They're far more fun than a stupid bar that doesn’t serve real alcohol.”

          She smiled brightly at Data. “Right, so! When do we start?”

[diligxnce]

   Hermia's head immediately jerked to her sister's direction, fixating her with the coldest glare that she could muster, and only barely containing the urge to slap her away from them by the arm.  

   "Well, too bad our mission isn't supposed to be fun, sister. You heard the Commander. Stay her. Go bother Molly with your antics - at least she's willing to put with you"

[introspectixn]

picking up the pieces || elena & hermia

[introspectixn]

               “If I am correct in my assumption, the difference stems

     from our distinct patterns of reaction. There is little reason for      Phoebe to antagonize me – there is nothing about my      responses that she could find entertaining, whereas you are      much more entertaining to her. I am not blaming you for her      behaviour – Phoebe’s actions are her own responsibility –      but rather, I want you to understand why she treats you as      she does.”

               “She doesn’t hate you. You are twin sisters. By nature,      your relationship is more complicated than that. Still, I      understand your frustration, and will do my best to mediate a      truce, at least for the time being.”

[diligxnce]

   Her sisters words, no doubt, made her stop dead in her tracks, and turn her head away from her, as though in deep thought. There was a long pause, pregnant with doubt and bitterness, and in the end of it, all that Hermia could offer was a deep sigh. It almost felt like she had heard Elena's speech before, not the exact wording, maybe not even in regard to Phoebe, but she knew the intention behind it.

   'They only hurt you because of how you react.' 'If you could only should up and just take it, it would all stop' 'Your feelings are amusing to them'

   It was not her favourite.

   "I know she likes pranks. I know she doesn't think about the results of her actions, so maybe... how I react is part of it, I don't know. But... it isn't all there is to it. I... I appreciate your effort, Elena, but you can see that... if it was just the way I reacted, if she cared for me in any way, there would be some - any sign that would show that. But there's not. Maybe she does not feel enough to hate me. But I doubt she cares for me, or my opinion of her antics. I'm nothing to her"