You’ll be gone for just a week and a half, but these next 11 days I will be slightly less happy than I’ve been these past seven months. Yes, it’s silly of me to go to such lengths to let you know how much I’ll miss you. But now more than ever, I want to tell you how much you mean to me, and how much happiness you’ve brought to my life since we met outside Dunne’s.
Even though I’d have never known you, a big piece of my heart would have chipped away with regret had I not made the last-minute decision to go out that night. Since last October, you’ve filled my life with fun adventures; Broadway shows, room service, surprise Hibachi, kayaking and Six Flags. A New Year’s Eve kiss, steak dinner at Morton’s on Christmas Eve Eve and BOOM!, one of the greatest catches in the history of professional football. Unfortunately, none of this included American Pharoah’s historic win last weekend, but thank god for the Internet, right?
Mostly, it’s the in-between that keeps my heart happy. Lazy mornings in bed, our tug-of-war with the comforter. Cooking new things with you, and that you allow me to be a complete control freak in the kitchen. Scratch-off lotto tickets, flirty Snapchats, nudie nights, sweet kisses, Mexi-Cola, frisbee and my new favorite alcoholic beverage of choice: Magner’s. And yes, because I know you’ve been waiting for it: the dirty stuff, too.
But, more than anything, everything always comes back to you. I knew since we sat across from each other at Dos Caminos that I was capable of loving you. But when you opened that door for us some months later, I suddenly felt something I never expected: pure, unfiltered love. You have been the exception in my life. Whenever I catch my Monday morning train, I feel nothing but lucky I spent an entire weekend with you, and that I’ll be seeing you again soon.
What keeps me going in the morning is knowing that I’m not perfect, but that I can use each day to work toward a better me. I know I don’t react the best way in certain situations, and that I tend to cry at inappropriate times or make it somewhat difficult for us when I have to leave you. I also know that I forget throw away bottle caps and the little plastic coverings on YooHoo! straws, and that I make a mess in the kitchen and put my coffee mugs on the ground instead of in the sink or on a table. Being the age I am, I know I can’t provide you with everything someone your age could--with all the stuff you truly deserve. But, until I can, I promise I will give you the stuff we can’t necessarily see, or touch. Encouragement. Passion. Hope. Concern. Laughter. Joy. A bit of fire. And most of all, I will always be generous with my love, especially and only to you.
We’ve committed ourselves to taking this thing slow, which is really working for us. I love that we’re not in a rush to hit certain milestones in our relationship, or scream from the rooftops of our devotion (or make it Facebook official, which I promise I will never make you do, baby.) In all honesty, however, there is a small section of my brain that does think about the future from time to time. Not about the big scary things, but how I want to be the best partner I can be so you’ll maybe want me around in seven more months. How I’d like to you to know that I want all the same things you do, though I may be too hip and not yet brave enough to admit it.
There’s nothing I’d like more than to hop on that plane with you tonight. I know I can’t, so I will give us the space we both need and deserve as we await the rocky, coral-filled waters of Key West. And don’t forget, I’m always a dirty Snapchat or late-night Facetime session away.
And please remember that my heart beats for you, regardless if we’re right next to each other or separated by an ocean.
