do you relate personally to the yume nikki games? aside from your agoraphobia do you have like, crazy ass dreams and the like?
I liked the games. I thought Mado was very brave to do what she did.
When I first started receding from everybody, I slept a lot. I didn't think anything else mattered. Usually I didn't have dreams, but sometimes I had nightmares. I would just sleep and sleep and sleep just so I would have a purpose again, or just so I didn't have to eat, or drink, or leave my apartment.
I didn't have friends, or a family, but I had my bird and so I forced myself to get up each day and feed her. Eventually she pulled me out of my depression, because every time I tried to sleep she would screech until I got out of bed and did something else.
My dreams weren't lucid like Madotsuki's. They weren't subconcious re-imaginings of my tortured past. Whenever I would sleep I just felt. Numb. And my dreams were numb, and bleak, and boring.
When I had nightmares, maybe once or twice a month after the incident, but the days following it exactly I probably had them constantly- always the same nightmare, too- I would wake myself up and not sleep again for a few days.
That was about a year ago.
I don't get nightmares, or dreams, or even sleep that often now. I'm usually up and cleaning, or doing homework, or on the internet.
I like things better this way.
I've thought about suicide before, but I know I'll never do it because I'm too scared.
So aside from my phobia, I don't really relate that much to the games. I do like them a lot, though!
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