Looking back at my posts from 6 months ago it's good to see I feel exactly the same, I've tried and tried to change my life in that time ,and it's all still the same
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@dingledangleball
Looking back at my posts from 6 months ago it's good to see I feel exactly the same, I've tried and tried to change my life in that time ,and it's all still the same
Before the availability of the tape recorder and during the 1950s, when vinyl was scarce, people in the Soviet Union began making records of banned Western music on discarded x-rays. With the help of a special device, banned bootlegged jazz and rock ānā roll records were āpressedā on thick radiographs salvaged from hospital waste bins and then cut into discs of 23-25 centimeters in diameter. āThey would cut the X-ray into a crude circle with manicure scissors and use a cigarette to burn a hole,ā says author Anya von Bremzen. āYouād have Elvis on the lungs, Duke Ellington on Aunt Mashaās brain scan ā forbidden Western music captured on the interiors of Soviet citizens.ā
As we get older and have more experiences, it becomes harder to find a person with whom you share and equally value all the unique, esoteric little things that make you you
A fun way to get yourself to do chores when you have adhd is to simulate a sense of panic by setting horrible deadlines that fit into other things that youāre doing.
For example, you set up a kettle of water to boil for your tea. Quick! Wipe down the whole counter before itās done boiling, for the love of god youāre running out of time! Wipe it down! The water is almost boiling.
The water is boiling and your counter is clean. Now set your timer for your tea for three minutes and of my god thereās cups in your room! Quick! Get all the cups from everywhere in the house! Run! Youāve only got three minutes! Get all the dishes into the kitchen!
Oh would you look at that. You got all the dishes in the sink and now your tea is ready. Nice. Now you can chill with your tea.
Iāve found that little stuff like that helps me. Forcing myself into unexpected last minute deadlines. It fills up empty space and my house is a little bit cleaner.
I HATE that I know this works- legit heating something up in the microwave? Rushing to put everything away before it goes off because there is something satisfying about beating it and you feel accomplished.
āI was always hungry for love. Just once, I wanted to know what it was like to get my fill of it ā to be fed so much love I couldnāt take any more. Just once.ā
ā
reblog to brighten up someones dash
āInner peace begins the moment you choose not to allow another person or event to control your emotions.ā
ā Pema Chodron
A lot of people ask me what my biggest fear is, or what scares me most. And I know they expect an answer like heights, or closed spaces, or people dressed like animals, but how do I tell them that when I was 17 I took a class called Relationships For Life and I learned that most people fall out of love for the same reasons they fell in it. That their loverās once endearing stubbornness has now become refusal to compromise and their one track mind is now immaturity and their bad habits that you once adored is now money down the drain. Their spontaneity becomes reckless and irresponsible and their feet up on your dash is no longer sexy, just another distraction in your busy life. Nothing saddens and scares me like the thought that I can become ugly to someone who once thought all the stars were in my eyes.
this fucks me up every single time
I never expected this to be my most popular poem out of the hundreds Iāve written. I was extremely bitter and sad when I wrote this and I left out the most beautiful part of that class.
After my teacher introduced us to this theory, she asked us, āis love a feeling? Or is it a choice?ā We were all a bunch of teenagers. Naturally we said it was a feeling. She said that if we clung to that belief, weād never have a lasting relationship of any sort.
She made us interview a dozen adults who were or had been married and we asked them about their marriages and why it lasted or why it failed. At the end, I asked every single person if love was an emotion or a choice.
Everybody said that it was a choice. It was a conscious commitment. It was something you choose to make work every day with a person who has chosen the same thing. They all said that at one point in their marriage, the āfeeling of loveā had vanished or faded and they werenāt happy. They said feelings are always changing and you cannot build something that will last on such a shaky foundation.
The married ones said that when things were bad, they chose to open the communication, chose to identify what broke and how to fix it, and chose to recreate something worth falling in love with.
The divorced ones said they chose to walk away.
Ever since that class, since that project, I never looked at relationships the same way. I understood why arranged marriages were successful. I discovered the difference in feelings and commitments. Iāve never gone for the person who makes my heart flutter or my head spin. Iāve chosen the people who were committed to choosing me, dedicated to finding something to adore even on the ugliest days.
I no longer fear the day someone who swore I was their universe can no longer see the stars in my eyes as long as they still choose to look until they find them again.
This is so fucking important and I think itās something I needed right now