*Funny Blog Title* @dingorf - Tumblr Blog

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things-that-are-not-true

my names sweetie 3000 because the last 2999 sweeties were all destroyed

indeed...

Random hill I'll die on but

These shower heads are antiblack 😭

patrochilles-or-bust

The implication is that you are a person who can put their entire body under this stream of water to wash your body, daily. Guess which group of people is likely not washing their hair every single day and therefore could not utilize this shower head to its full extent on a daily basis? Guess who'd have to lean their head outside of the water like an awkward giraffe in order to bathe, or would have to stand at the edge of the water?

patrochilles-or-bust

*deep luxurious black woman who's been inconvenienced sigh*

Apparently even Doechii agrees with me lmao

I hate over-head showers.

Why — wwhhhyyyyyyy must every hotel shower head be built directly above your crown, as if everyone on earth wants to get their hair wet every time they bathe?

This has to be some kind of micro-aggression.

A niggress repellent, if you will!

Because immediately, instinctively, I know: no Black woman was taken into account when this technology was designed.

#📝

notjusthespongenextdoor

For a city to be walkable. It must also be sittable.

succubusboyfriend

are you “adaptable” or are you just willing to subject yourself to existing in low key background-level ambient misery

succubusboyfriend

these are different things btw. actual adaptability means not dealing with being miserable long term. and being constantly mildly annoyed/frustrated with a situation but being “able to deal with it” counts as ambient misery. btw.

succubusboyfriend

let this be your sign to make your life just a little more livable. get a dollar store trash can for your bedside so Cup City’s invasion plans fall through. block a tag or post that makes you grind your teeth every time you see it. get some grip pads so your bed stops sliding across the hardwood a little bit every time you get in it. tell that person you need a little more support. if you get annoyed at a situation more than a couple times, change it. don’t be content with being miserable.

demonprincex

and the more that you start doing this, the better you will get at detecting your own feelings and advocating for yourself! This is an important start to being more of a person in the world if you struggle with that

autogynophelia

Sometimes I find myself idly wondering why we have no significant culture of "transfem gay men" as a mirror to "transmasc lesbians", and then I remember all the times I've talked to cis gay men about trans women where we'll just be talking and they'll say something like "Yeah, his real name is Bill, though." And I'll say "What do you mean 'real name'?" And they'll say, "Like, when he's not...you know...in costume."

And I'll have to explain to these guys that there's this type of woman called a trans woman and that's a different thing from a drag queen, which is like a fictional character, whereas a trans woman is an actual real-life woman. And they'll seem to get their heads around it, but I'll see them again a month later and it's like the conversation never happened.

The average cis gay man seems to be indistinguishable from, like, your boomer uncle, when it comes to understanding things that he doesn't personally experience. They'll know there's a T in LGBT, and they'll know it stands for trans-something, but they do not care to learn any more about it than that. And if you make them learn about it, they will forget ASAP.

Can you imagine trying to be in a community with people like that when you're non-binary? Every time, trying to get them to respect your pronouns, and the best they can manage is "Have you met [Deadname]? Let me introduce you to him- sorry let me introduce you to they. [Deadname] uses *pronouns*." It's like being at a fucking family funeral surrounded by octogenarians whose only reference for trans people is having watched a news segment about Caitlyn Jenner.

And if you take it as far as medically transitioning, their disgust-o-meter ramps up so fast, you can pretty much see the longing in their eyes to package you up and palm you off to the lesbians saying "I don't know what this thing is but it's your problem now".

And I have a lot of problems with the cis lesbian community, too. But if something transphobic happens locally, you can pretty much rely on the local cis lesbians to react to it in some way (typically an insufficient way, but still), whereas the cis gay men pretty much invariably take a "that news can't affect me because I can't read" line about it.

#Ive seen plenty of arguments defended by invoking some sort of perfect gender inverse as also being ok #It seems quite disengenious to me #As if both genders are perfectly equal with no material differences between them #And therefore if a dynamic exists for one gender it must also exist in the oppsite and simaltaniously be exactly as prevelant #And Are the turi girls in the room with us right now?

skidfarts

Hey Girl I mean All Pronouns

#You have to list them alphabeticaly #In order

slimetony

Something at montrose beach is eating our precious plastic coyotes

#Cleaved in twain.....

devilishdescent

A bread is one of the most vulnerable animals on earth of all time. It can die in a number of different ways, which include being smashed, being old, being rottened, being crumpled up, getting too hot, having water put on it, and having water not on it but being in the air a lot (the water (mist)). The bread’s favorite way to die is being eaten, but the world is a complicated place, and it does not care for what the bread wants, and so it dies in a variety of ways which are not the preference of the bread.

Humans are considered the bread’s natural predator, and also, are the bread’s mommy (make/give birth to the bread). Humans are a large species of ant or plant or ele phant with two grasping appendages which they use to give birth to the bread. They also have one hole which eats the bread, and some other holes, which the bread is not allowed near, generally.

Some bread can go in the fridge. Some bread has fruit in it. Scientists don’t know why, as putting fruit in the bread is considered yucky, and scientists have difficulty imagining an organism that likes yucky things.

There is the anteater, which is an organism that likes yucky things, but scientists do not need to imagine it, because it is real.

device--conduct

as a vaporeon your only mission in life is to slap your biiiiiiiig damn tail and splash around

device--conduct

as a flareon your only mission in life around is to be fluffy and have an awesome attack stat

device--conduct

as a jolteon your only mission in life is to run around super fuckin fast and be spikey and cool

device--conduct

as an umbreon your only mission on life is to glow and lurch around and go "rrrreaerrr" and stare at stuff with your red eyes

device--conduct

as an espeon your only mission in life is to hear a whole lotta stuff with your big ears and make stuff float and bask in the sun

device--conduct

as a leafeon your only mission in life is to have dope defenses and go around in forests and be cool and green

device--conduct

as a glaceon your only mission in life is to walk around graciously in the cold and lay comfortably in the snow

device--conduct

as a sylveon your only mission in life is to go around joyously and hold onto stuff with your big ribbons and go "(whistling sound)"

device--conduct

as an eevee

evui

shetheyslain

Dahling you simply must read this book! It’s all about this devious little caterpillar who simply gorges himself on all manner of divine things

dragongirlsweetie

you can use the WASD keys to type the letters w, a, s, and d, respectively, on your computer

#Awawawawa #Wow it works!

soup-mother

Girls parents are always being like "your name is a sacred gift we gave you and so how dare you change it!" and the name in question is like Scrandrew or something

soup-mother

Our beautiful Christian SON Jack Optimus Voldemort Stark is convinced he's a tranny hooker drag queen who'd rather be called Molly, so we're going to force him to work in a coal mine in Queensland for five years in order to man up. One like = one prayer for our christian family 🙏

#Molly is a nice name