Purgatory

Existential dread

[diorgang666]

It’s my brothers birthday month. I miss him so much my heart still hearts. 08/24/03 - 01/01/05 🪽

[pup-purgatory]

[diorgang666]

I’m tired of feeling alone

[diorgang666]

Well I was three months clean from sh but I relapsed last week. Sigh

[diorgang666]

I forgot to post a few days ago but I’m 2 months clean from sh 🫶

[diorgang666]

I hate insomnia so much I’ve hardly been sleeping lately

[diorgang666]

I'm 10 years clean (the time 10 years ago was a relapse after 3 years, yes I'm old). After a while, it does become easier, I promise you. Stay strong whenever you can and let yourself cry whenever you can't. Love yourself when you can and remember that you are loved when you can't. Above all else, please don't hurt yourself. ❤️‍🩹

Congrats on 10 years that’s amazing!! Thank you so much!

[diorgang666]

why does it matter that you havent played silent hill for 6 weeks? its a good dame seriez

Haha I wish I was talking about silent hill

[diorgang666]

I’m 6 weeks clean from SH but like I’m struggling I want to do bad

[diorgang666]

I hate racing thoughts they trigger sh thoughts

[diorgang666]

I really wish I could hate you

[diorgang666]

I’ve been misunderstood my whole life I just wish at least one person could understand me. People only like me when I can give them something nobody loves the dark parts of me. I am a loner and I think I always will be. It’s better to be alone than to be misunderstood and criticized. I don’t think I’ll ever trust again. It breaks my heart when I finally trust someone and they just don’t get me. I can’t go through that again.

[diorgang666]

Im such a fuck up. I hate that my mental illnesses take over everything and I fear I can’t fight it anymore. I’m not strong enough anymore. I can’t talk to anyone either I’ll just be a burden. It makes me sick that I tried to open up to someone I trusted. I’m disgusted in myself. I’m a failure I don’t think I have a future. Please just let me disappear. I want to be with my dad and brother where I belong. Why did he leave me behind in this cruel world? I love my family and don’t want to hurt them but I just can’t keep going on like this. Life isn’t for me there’s nothing out there for me. I fought as long and hard as I could. I just hope I can be at peace soon. Sadly I don’t think these antidepressants will kill me anyways so here I sit and suffer.

[diorgang666]

I am severely depressed all I can think about is ending it. The thoughts are so strong even being with family doesn’t help much even though I love them so much. I think I’m going to admit myself if I can get a ride to the hospital

[diorgang666]

I’ve never even been drunk before but I’ve been having these cravings of just wanting to get shitfaced

[feelingsoftheday]

Disappear and focus on you

[feelingsoftheday]

learn to distance yourself once you feel unappreciated