Call Me Cara👑🌻🎀

Emt-B🚑 Boy Mom👩‍👦‍👦 Firefighter🚒 New to blogging. So bare with me!

[chandabeard-deactivated20191001]

Find someone as sleepy as you.

Coexhaust.

[dirtylittlec-word]

I need a time out...

So. I’ve been negligent. I apologize. I have so much going on I’m not even sure where to start. My birthday was yesterday. 29 years old. I don’t feel any different. Just another day. Anyway, still haven’t successfully found a place for us to move to so I’ve come to the conclusion that they’re just going to have to evict me because I will not settle for a shitty home in a shitty neighborhood because of they’re selfishness. I don’t have anything funny or whitty to say right now. My depression is getting worse because of the situation at hand and I’m having a difficult time functioning. I only feel normal at work. Ugh. That’s about all I have right now... I promise I’ll try to stay current.

[dirtylittlec-word]

Hi. Friendly reminder that you are beautiful, intelligent, successful, driven, funny & so much more. These days are hard now, but they will be okay eventually. Keep your head up & keep pushing forward. I love you.!

Thank you, love bug. Thank you for always being there for me. For being my crutch. My shoulder to cry on. My secret keeper. My better half (by far). You bring out the best in me as a friend and a mother and for that I am forever grateful. I’d be lost without you. I love you!

[dirtylittlec-word]

My life is crumbling...

Received some world shattering news yesterday. My landlord is selling my house. Out of nowhere. We have a month and half to get out. Walked Bug to the bus stop this morning and cried. Every other time we’ve moved it’s because we wanted to; IE: bigger house, closer to town. But now, thru no fault of our own, we’re being forced out of our home that we’ve made our own over the last year. Out of our neighborhood that we’ve become established in. How do I explain this to my boys? My heart is shattered. We really thought we found our forever home...

[dirtylittlec-word]

F!#K

SCHOOL LOANS ARE THE WORST.

They double dipped. They took my payment out TWICE. $180. Twice. FUCK YOU. Now I’m broke AND my account is over drafted and I don’t get paid til NEXT Friday. But fuck me right? 🤬🤬

[dirtylittlec-word]

Cup CAKE mix?

I will never understand who let my blonde ass adult:

I made dessert last night. Lava cake in the crock pot. As I’m mixing the cake mix in the bowl I think to myself: I wonder if they have a special mix for cup cakes.

I can’t make this shit up. I was serious as a heart attack.

Lord help me. 🤦🏼‍♀️

In my defense, I was comparing it to brownie mix. Like. There’s a different kind of mix for brownies. 🤷🏼‍♀️😂🤦🏼‍♀️

Ugh. Then I made the mistake of sharing this thought with Denny... 🙄 I’ll never live this down.

[dirtylittlec-word]

Legally Blonde...

This post is gonna make me sound like such a conceited piece of work but here goes:

Legally Blonde was my FAVORITE movie when it first came out. I never understood the true meaning behind it, obviously. I just recently watched it again as an adult. WOW.

I relate. So much. To what happens to Elle with Callahan. I’ve been accused time after time of sleeping my way to get certain positions or I only got where I am “because of my looks” (their words, not mine) but in reality, no. It’s none of that. I’m just THAT DAMN GOOD at my job. Whether it was being a medical assistant, a waitress or even now being an EMT. I’ve never ONCE used my “sexuality” as a ploy to get me anything, unless of course it was with my boyfriend, but that’s a the norm. 😂 With that being said, I think that’s why I’m so afraid to do well for myself in a business or career because I know that rumor or accusation is always gonna swirl around because of the pure jealousy and envy people have for someone like me. But you know what? Fuck em. I’m gonna keep climbing that ladder and busting my ass to be the best I can be and they can say whatever tf they want. I know the truth. 🤷🏼‍♀️

Rant over.

[dirtylittlec-word]

My mom...

From October 2011-March 2012 my mom suffered from 3 strokes. I’ve taken care of my mom since my parents divorced when I was 13. My brother went to live with my dad and was scarce in our lives. So again, I’m left alone to take care of my mom after the strokes and I have a toddler as well. The third one almost took her from us. That was the worst day of my life. My mom was my best friend. She was all I had in this world, besides my son. Then her brother comes in out of nowhere and takes me to court for guardianship over her and wins because, as a single mom, now on my own, I couldn’t take time off to go to the court hearing. Again, there goes my life... moms in a coma for 6 months. I’m not allowed to see her cuz they blame me for what happened. Why am I even still alive at this point? Anyway, a little back story to preface my next statement:

My mom recently got an FB after being discharged from the assisted living facility she’s resided in for 7 years against my recommendation and moved into her own apartment in our old hometown. I was excited. I added her as soon as I found out. Ive tagged her in posts and posted pictures and messaged her on FB. Nothing. My brother tho? She comments on everything of his. I’m at a loss... I’m hurt. Even now to this day, he’s still the favorite... hooray for being the black sheep. Fml. 😕

[dirtylittlec-word]

[dirtylittlec-word]

[dirtylittlec-word]

Picked up an overnight OT shift on NYE on the opposite side of the county. Let’s see how this goes. 🚑

[dirtylittlec-word]

[dirtylittlec-word]

There’s NO other way I’d rather spend my 8 hours off between my 24 yesterday and the 36 I’m working NYE/NYD than with my boys playing video games.

The past couple shifts have been pretty shitty so it’s nice to be able to come home to these 2 (when Bug doesn’t have school) and feel the unconditional love they have for their mother. Plus, they think it’s pretty bad ass I get to drive the big ol’ meat wagon around. 😂

2018 was a tough one. Nothing out of the ordinary. If things were simple, I’d be convinced it was some sick joke or I was dead.

I battled all year with a demon that I’ve been suppressing for 10 years. It resurfaced with a vengeance and I almost didn’t make it out alive a few times. I’m not quite ready to share that one with the class but I’ll get there eventually.

With that being said, here’s to 2019. Don’t suck, please?

[dirtylittlec-word]

[dirtylittlec-word]

EMS room clean outtttt.

[gunandcoffee-deactivated2022012]

[dirtylittlec-word]

It ain’t easy being ugly. 😂🤦🏼‍♀️