PUT YOUR BEARD IN MY MOUTH

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@discoveringbach
Beginning November 19, I am embarking on a 33-day journey with Bach, where I will perform the entire solo violin cycle in free public performances throughout NYC. My goal is to bring this life-changing music into the hearts and spirits of audiences who may have never encountered this music before, in new places, outside of the concert hall. On a personal note, I will also be using this month to dedicate one day to each of the 27 movements, as my own ‘meditation of the day.’
I have a deeply personal relationship with Bach’s music, which seems endless in its depth and beauty. As a 2012 recipient of the Leonore Annenberg Foundation Fellowship Fund for the Performing and Visual Arts, I recorded my first album, the complete Sonatas and Partitas of J. S. Bach. Living with this music is a process of continual discovery - and so I have now decided to share this ongoing exploration with a wide audience.
I look forward to discovering Bach with NYC this month!
It’s okay baby, we got you
performance date: Spring, 2014
“We’re in prison. We have all the time in the world.”
going through the blue gates.
hesitant to shake hands
it’s sad and uplifting at the same time.
it sounded like he was calling her name.
i like the Maria one.
i was so depressed before. i feel so much better now.
hearing them cry during the Ciaconna.
i could see the emotion on your face. it looked like you were gonna cry.
wanting to stay in that suspended moment, forever.
A little over a year ago, I had the privilege of performing Bach for female inmates at a high security prison. Scheduling difficulties at the facilities ended up truncating my performance time from a little over an hour, to about fifteen minutes. In the five minutes during which I went through security and walked through the prison hallways, which looked eerily similar to any default hallway at a public school, I had to figure out what to play, and how best to frame this now miniature performance. Bach can be heavy for a new listener and I did not want to simply play the Ciaconna and leave right afterwards, without any time for us to process and reflect on the music together, and yet I also wanted to offer a high intensity experience for these women.
I began by saying simply that Bach was a very religious man, he was a family man, and played a short improvisation on Amazing Grace. Within seconds I felt the room relax, and some of the women were even singing along. I then decided I would jump right in and play the Ciaconna. I spoke about how Bach's first wife had died, and shared the 'myth' that the Ciaconna can be viewed as an expression of Bach's grief. I expressed that I felt the major section begins with a 'prayer.' After I played I opened my eyes to see that some women were crying, some were smiling. One woman commented that she 'heard Bach say Maria's name' in the major section, and others commented on how they could feel the pain and emotion when I played and see how much I loved the music on my face. I then talked about how Bach ordered all of his Sonatas and Partitas. He travels through four minor keys and sets the Ciaconna in the deepest part of the work as a whole. And yet he also leads us outwards, ending the Ciaconna on two unison D's - he leaves one suspended in the air, and gently rubs against it with a heartbeat, a relentless dotted figure, leading us to the purity and release of C major. This fulcrum of Bach's universe acts as a beautiful turning point for the listener and performer.
I asked everyone to tap on their hearts with me in the same rhythm as the motive in this C major Adagio. I then began to play the movement - but I had demonstrated a tempo that was too fast for me. I stopped playing a few measures in and laughed at my mistake - when one woman called out 'It's okay baby, we got you! Why don't you start and we'll join in.' This moment has never left me. I was forced to play with eyes open (I usually perform with eyes closed, it happens without conscious thought), looking out into the room, so we could all find the right tempo together. It was like playing chamber music.
I looked out into a room filled with women whose hearts and spirits were wide open, and were tapping on their chests to the rhythm of Bach, and carrying me along through the movement. I realized then how incredibly lucky I was to have music in this moment - a space within which I could truly connect to other humans, outside of society, outside of judgement, outside of all of our collective life histories, and breathing together, allowed us all to share in this beautiful gift that Bach has to left us, and left to the world.
By now I knew that we had gone well over fifteen minutes. I kept looking over at the Warden who was supportively nodding me on to continue.
I played the Preludio of the E major Partita to end the presentation, emphasizing that Bach leaves us here in E major, in a Partita filled with exalted and joyous dances - I like to think of it as a reminder that though we have seen heartbreak and suffering, we are still here, of the earth, and can dance and move forwards with our lives. One woman asked me where she could have her grandmother buy her a violin to be waiting for her when she goes home.
I left the room feeling incredibly humbled (and grateful that I could shake hands with each one of these women, unlike when I had played for male inmates on a previous visit). I walked back through the hallways, through security, and heard the slam of a blue metal gate behind me. I will never forget these women.
Day 34: Warby Parker
January 5, 2016
My visit to the Warby Parker offices was rescheduled from December to January 5th. This meant a New Year’s treat.
After my 33 days of Bach officially finished in December, I took a much needed Bach rest - and so coming to Warby in the first week of January was actually the first time I performed Bach since the final marathon concert on December 22nd.
The Warby Parker offices are gorgeous - bright open spaces, splashes of literary inspired Blue all over the walls, beautiful socially aware glasses resting on eager young faces. I arrived to perform a surprise Ciaconna during lunch on this first week back to work after the New Year. My stage was this inspiring bookcase, and not pictured are the high ceilings and teams of Warby employees sitting and listening, or leaning over the balcony from the floor above. This was the most refreshing, affirming, beautiful way to start the year off. It felt like I was home, performing again in this unique setting.
Now that my performance schedule has returned to ‘normal,’ performing Bach on a stage, with the lights dimmed, I find myself missing that palpability of the audience from these pop ups. What used to feel normal, that isolated bubble and safety of a stage, now feels oddly foreign to me. I now crave that thin line preventing me from being able to reach out and grab someone with my bow, that slight friction that arises when you surprise someone and urge them to come into your world, for just a moment. When you dare to offer someone substance and demand of them deep listening, for just a moment.
Plus, I was well in need of a new pair of glasses ;) Thanks, Warby Parker!
Performance:
Partita No. 2 in D minor BWV 1004
Ciaconna
Day 33: Pied Piper Marathon
December 22, 2015
One of the reasons I dreamed up this project was in order to challenge myself to perform all six Sonatas and Partitas in one concert. I saw this as the next step in my journey with this music - and these daily performances have allowed me to build my stamina, to take risks musically, to get comfortable with performing the music from the inside out. I decided to honor the spontaneous energy of the project by concluding these 33 days with a traveling ‘pied piper’ marathon of all the Sonatas and Partitas - a way for me to revisit some favorite spots (for instance, bookending the project at Hungarian Pastry Shop, from Day 1) and also allowing audiences to join me from one to the next, traveling throughout the city. What fun it was riding the subway with friends, new and old, family, and familiar faces from previous pop ups from location to location on this day.
This month has opened up my heart to New York City in a way I never imagined. It has brought me closer to Bach. I will never stop climbing this mountain with these works, and the mountain will never stop growing, but the gift of sharing Bach along the way has changed me. It was a constant daily reminder in the importance of our role as performers - of the power we have. To walk into a room, any room, and with no words, have the ability to open someone up, be it someone in uniform or a hungry stranger, and speak directly to them. To be honest with another human being. This is a gift. And I think after all of these days, I surely benefited the most, from the generosity of spirit and humbling responses I received from my daily audiences.
This project has instilled in me a child-like wonder and appreciation for the familiar subway stops, skylines, and strangers whom I would have before passed over - now I see inherent potential everywhere for mutual exchange, kindness, offering of this gift of music which Bach left to us.
Bach left us a blueprint. He said, build the cathedral. But we stand in awe, everyday, not knowing exactly how. For 33 days, I had this wonderful honor, of building cathedrals all over Manhattan, and you, this beautiful city, were the inhabitants.
Thank you, sincerely.
My apartment lobby
Sonata No. 1 in G minor BWV 1001
Adagio
Fuga
Siciliano
Presto
James J. Peters Veterans Hospital
Partita No. 1 in B minor BWV 1002
Allemande and Double
Corrente and Double
Sarabande and Double
Tempo di Borea and Double
and
Sonata No. 2 in A minor BWV 1003
Grave
Fuga
Andante
Allegro
Cathedral St. John the Divine
Partita No. 2 in D minor BWV 1004
Allemande
Corrente
Sarabande
Giga
Ciaconna
Hungarian Pastry Shop
Sonata No. 3 in C major BWV 1005
Adagio
Fuga
Largo
Allegro Assai
Jefferson Market Library
Partita No. 3 in E major BWV 1006
Preludio
Loure
Gavotte en Rondeau
Menuet I and II
Bourree
Giga
Day 32: Day of Rest
December 20, 2015
Partita No. 3 in E major BWV 1006
Preludio
Loure
Gavotte en Rondeau
Menuet I and II
Bourre
Giga (movement of the day)
Day 31: Coney Island
December 19, 2015
If a tree falls and only the Cyclone is watching, does anyone hear Bach?
I chased the sunset to arrive at Brooklyn’s iconic waterfront on a windy and eerie evening. The amusement park was all lit up, but no one came to the party.
Performance: Partita No. 3 in E major BWV 1006
Preludio
Loure
Gavotte en Rondeau
Menuet I and II
Bourree (movement of the day)
Giga
p.s. my fingers are still cold
My concert hall, my chariot.
Day 30: Grand Central Atelier
December 18, 2015
It was my birthday, so I visited my favorite art school and gallery in Long Island City!
Walking through the open skies of Long Island City, with views of Manhattan in the distance, one can find an unassuming brick building who houses a very special group of artists. The Eleventh Street Arts gallery and the Grand Central Atelier is a reminder of the communal aspect of art, and I often feel a mix of envy and inspiration when I witness the quiet intensity of these artists hard at work for hours and hours on end, side by side. My Bach journey has been a rare chance for me to bring my process out from my private studio into a communal space - while visual artists often share studio space and models - and so I was thrilled to be able to come into the working studios of GCA and play while they painted a live figure.
Bach intersects well with classical drawing because of what an incredible architect he was. His ability to dance within the rules of structure, harmony, voicing, and create music whose existence now seems inevitable, is something that can be appreciated alongside the incredible mastery of craft that is evident in the works on these gallery walls of GCA. It is thrilling to find fellow artists who share an aesthetic belief in the past and its traditions, while at the same are trying to find something new and relevant to our world today within this classical language. The paintings at GCA seem so alive to me, so effortless and natural, and yet I also know how much thought and planning must have gone into them. These multiple layers are present also within Bach.
My relationship with the Grand Central Atelier began in 2010, when I first performed a recital/lecture for the artists and students there. My mother is a painter and had taken classes at GCA. She drew my attention to the classically-inspired movement that is happening currently in the art world, and the inspiring work of GCA founder, artist Jacob Collins. I had an overwhelming experience when I performed at GCA back in 2010, filled with so much inspiration and learning moments for myself through the discussion I had with the artists. I was truly in my ‘sketching’ phase, with initial ideas about Bach floating around, and this recital/lecture was also the very first time I performed my own improvisations live for an audience. I had just begun a new composition technique which has since become my voice as a composer, and it was incredibly freeing to present my music for a room full of artists, and discuss with them parallels we found between drawing and both the creation and performance of music. In addition to my pop-up performance, I am performing the Bach cycle spread over 3 recitals in GCA’s adjacent Eleventh Street Arts Gallery. The first performance was in October 2015, with the remaining two on March 18, 2016, and May 13, 2016. Come prepared to view some incredible artwork, and for a lively Q & A.
“The Grand Central Atelier is a collaborative workspace for artists pursuing the methodology of historic ateliers to create drawing, painting and sculpture from life. To ensure a deep understanding of classical form, design, practice, and discipline, artists-in-training work in a structured, organized studio with the hands on guidance of the studio's principle artists. To educate the public about classically-inspired art, the studio sponsors lectures, artistic competitions, exhibitions and public discussions”
-Mission statement from Grand Central Atelier website
Here is a photograph from my October recital at Eleventh Street Arts, in front of a painting by Jacob Collins:
Performance: Partita No. 3 in E major BWV 1006
Preludio
Loure
Gavotte en Rondeau
Menuet I and II (movement of the day)
Bourree
Giga
Day 29: Brooklyn High School of the Arts
December 17, 2015
“A world of pain and suffering”
“Overview of his life”
- some impressions about Bach from students
From 2012-2014, I had the privilege of teaching part time at the Brooklyn High School of the Arts, through my affiliation with Carnegie Hall and as a member of Ensemble ACJW. This was an immensely enriching and inspiring time, and I cherish the opportunity I had to work with these students - their curiosity, openness, and undeniable individuality and spirit is a constant source of inspiration and perspective in my own practice.
I visited my previous partner school, and colleague John Scandone, head of the music department at BHSA, for a special day of Bach and reunion.
Performance:
Sonata No. 1 in G minor BWV 1001
Adagio
Partita No. 1 in B minor BWV 1002
Allemande
Sonata No. 2 in A minor BWV 1004
Andante
Partita No. 3 in E major BWV 1006
Preludio
Loure
Gavotte en Rondeau (movement of the day)
Menuet I and II
Bourree
Giga
Day 28: Day of Rest
December 16, 2015
Movements of the day: Preludio and Loure
Yesterday was a mammoth performance day, and I chose to allow a bird’s eye view of the cycle and interesting juxtapositions of locations to be the day’s focus.
Some musings on the E major Partita, after today’s day of rest:
The A minor Fuga, from Sonata No. 2, begins with an appoggiatura - out of the empty haze of the Grave, with its defeated resolution into an eerie octave (that same empty sonority with which the movement begins). The Fuga continues the Grave's search for harmonic grounding by trying to return us to the tonic - by spelling out V - I, circling around this E major implication with the leading tone of D #. However, as soon as we reach the A, the subject rises once again to resign on C with yet another appoggiatura, almost a question to the announcement of the V - I - so as soon as we feel like we have reached grounding, (imagine a Grave connected into the Fuga), immediately, the subject of this Fuga lessens the strength of that cadence circling around and ending on a minor third. This expressive dichotomy within the subject continues, and colors the entire Fuga.
What is so astounding and special about this appoggiatura (E - D# - E) and its lack of strength or ability to make us feel grounded, is that Bach begins the E major Preludio with the exact same notes.
However, after 5/6th's of our journey, by the time we reach this final Partita of the set, Bach is ready now to announce the true and unwavering arrival of E major, exalting and transforming this sweet dissonance between the D# leading tone and its tonic from a dissolving resignation into a true arrival. The unfolding six movements are all in this joyous character and key of E major. What a transformation from the A minor Fuga to the E major Preludio.
Loure: The E major Partita has no ‘true’ slow movement. I often toy with this idea with regards to the Loure (and the Menuet I and II). More and more, I enjoy the 6 / 4 time signature of the Loure to imply a leisurely dance. Bach could have written in 3 / 4 (or even 3/8), but there is an elongated pulse with this version.
Day 27: Holy Apostles Soup Kitchen and Precinct 84
December 15, 2015
The Holy Apostles Soup Kitchen serves 1,000 meals a day. What an incredible privilege to be able to volunteer in my own way and add some Bach into the mix of orange juice and warm meals. Performing feels so natural for me, and after 27 days, you could really put me anywhere now and I'll swim. But the person side of me, the New Yorker, the thinker, I still am amazed that with violin in hand, Bach being my sole entry card, I am given the opportunity to walk into any room and speak. Truly speak to others. But more interesting to me, more prized, is the listening that occurs. It's my dream, if I were an evil genius, to invade the world with music. In my own small and pacifist way, I am doing that each day.
Smiles and applause are those easily recognizable forms of appreciation from others. But I know too well that we also go through life much of the time without expressing ourselves. And regardless of if I am able to interact with my daily audiences or not, I know that Bach is reaching people. Sometimes I imagine my violin as the proverbial 'fly on the wall.' And if possible, that I too can rest lightly on those unassuming wings, floating in between different parts of society, quietly observing; even floating in between my own interpretation and the music, my being only one ingredient (perhaps even the vessel, between Bach, and say, a policeman, or a happy stomache at the soup kitchen).
I used the two + hours allotted to me at the Holy Apostles Soup Kitchen as my very first public marathon of all Six Sonatas and Partitas. I think that a musical composition is of two minds: it is an ideal, more perfect perhaps in the mind of the composer even than how he is able to realize its form on pen and paper, and also a living, breathing, amorphous work in progress, for (hopefully) the rest of eternity, in the hands of nameless servants, genuises, artists, laymen, listeners... In my ideal of this set of Sonatas and Partitas, the Ciaconna would be played without rest - the two unison D's dissolving into the air, one left hanging, and the other one coming back down to earth in the form of the C major Adagio's dotted motif. The last chord of the Adagio, that tantalizing major third out of which light surely grows, leads us into the most songful, longest, Fuga, in this set, and also the longest Fuga Bach ever wrote. The Ciaconna and C major Fuga to me are the two weights on the fulcrum of this cycle's universe. One being the deepest, the other being the highest. The abyss between the inner infinitude and exterior world.
This is all to say that I have always dreamed of performing the D minor Partita attacca into the C major Sonata, with a necessary breathe after the final chord of the C major Fuga. The reprise of the subject, this glorious moment where the purely musical story feels ever satisfying, harmonically given its 'grounding' for the first time (which also happens to be C-B-H-A, Bach's name), ends with a triumphant and necessary C major Chord. In a way, because the audience was *mostly* a changing one throughout these hours (hi, friends who stayed!), I could play at my own will - and chose to dance with this ideal. I'm curious how my listeners may have felt about this connection (I know how my tired hand feels).
Later in the day, I played within a Police Precinct in Brooklyn, for about 40 policemen, and many community members in attendance. I could see into the adjacent empty jail cells, and as I played through selections of the cycle, including the Ciaconna, there was an atmosphere I will never forget - playing for an audience of men and women whose poise and posture, standing upright with full attention, was taut with intensity - like a physical manifestation of the emotional journey we were all experiencing. As a New Yorker, I will never forget those men and women who were first responders in 2001. And as a citizen of the world, I feel it is necessary to bring art into all spaces and spheres of society - perhaps it can be a safe space within which we may all put aside our differences of opinion, our histories, our pains, and connect, as fellow humans, without words.
Performances:
Sonata No. 1 in G minor
Adagio
Fuga
Siciliano
Presto
Partita No. 1 in B minor
Allemande and Double
Corrente and Double
Sarabande and Double
Tempo di Borea and Double
Sonata No. 2 in A minor
Grave
Fuga
Andante
Allegro
Partita No. 2 in D minor
Allemande
Corrente
Sarabande
Giga
Ciaconna
Sonata No. 3 in C major
Adagio
Fuga
Largo
Allegro Assai
Partita No. 3 in E major
Preludio (movement of the day)
Loure
Gavotte en Rondeau
Menuet I and II
Bourree
Giga
Day 26: Trader Joe’s
December 14, 2015
Every time I walk into Trader Joe’s, no matter how tired or long a day I may have had, I leave with a smile on my face. Everyone who works here is friendly, smiling, and reminds me how easy and important it can be to make someone else feel good. I really wanted to perform at Trader Joe’s for the checkout counters, to say thank you to that ever-friendly staff! And so I did, on my ‘day of rest.’ Couldn’t think of a better location for my transition into the joyous arrival of E Major.
Performance:
Sonata No. 3 in C Major BWV 1005
Largo
Allegro Assai
Partita No. 3 in E Major BWV 1006
Preludio
Loure
Day 25: Greenlight Bookstore
December 13, 2015
Thank you to Greenlight Bookstore for letting me play here (after I finished two performances of The Hard Nut, Mark Morris’ take on the Nutcracker, at BAM), a completely spontaneous performance! Lovely acoustics!
Performance: Sonata No. 3 in C Major BWV 1005
Adagio
Fuga
Largo
Allegro Assai (movement of the day)
Day 24: FireHouse in Brooklyn
December 12, 2015
I meant to take today off. But I couldn’t resist.
In between concerts at BAM, I found a firehouse nearby. I wandered over to Dean Street and timidly asked if I could play some Bach. I was invited in with warm and welcoming arms.
What an incredibly fun and beautiful honor it was to perform for these Firemen. I wish I could have stayed longer and played more and more and more. I couldn’t think of a better audience for today’s beloved movement of the day, the C major’s Largo. Moments after this picture was taken, a bell rang, and they all took off in their firetruck!
Performance: Sonata No. 3 in C major, BWV 1005
Adagio
Fuga
Largo (movement of the day)
Allegro Assai
Day 23: St. Marks Bookshop
December 11, 2015
The St. Mark’s Bookshop was all dressed up, and a lovely spot for a day in C Major, with that glorious Fuga.
Performance: Sonata No. 3 in C major
Adagio
Fuga (movement of the day)
Largo
Allegro Assai
Filmed at Brooklyn Boulders QueensBridge
Day 22: Brooklyn Boulders QueensBridge - Grand Opening Party
December 10, 2015
It is rare that I am able to perform in front of hundreds of 20s and 30 year olds. Let alone to be the surprise Grand Finale at a climbing gym’s grand opening party, complete with fluorescent lights, live painters, fire throwers, aerial yogis, and many more spectacular performances and events. Brooklyn Boulders is more than a gym, it’s a very special community. I was so thrilled to be able to share Bach with this vibrant and unique audience, as part of a fun celebration (complete with a secret speakeasy and silent -disco) for the opening of their new location in Long Island City.
The video we made, featuring an excerpt of the E major Partita: Preludio, was an outgrowth of a combined interest in rock climbing and its connections to classical music - its rhythm, its precision, and juxtaposing the physical beauty of the two art forms happening at once. It was also a lovely and fun opportunity for me to collaborate with dear friends, producer/visionary/writer Cyrena Lee, and filmmaker Charlotte Kaufman.
Performance: Sonata No. 3 in C Major
Largo
Allegro Assai