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@disguiscd-blog
small note about inactivity! I’ve been without internet. please continue to love me while I endure this hardship lol. everything should be sorted by thursday evening. i’ve been trying to stay off skype too, because I don’t want to use up our family plan mobile data, but i’ll be totally available again after thursday. in the meantime, as I can steal internet from friends over the next few days, I’ll be working on my new main @nevermourncd
disguiscd started following you
KARA KARA KARA I AM SO FUCKING EXCITED. i am literally so happy to see a kara blog honestly @disguiscd you have no idea.
THIS IS MY NIGHT OFF. I’M REALLY NOT LOOKING FOR SOME GUY TO DIE ON MY COUCH.
SALANDER IS GOOD at finding people — there are few who can elude her when she wants to find them. salander is a dog with a bone when it comes to finding information on fucking bastards who deserve nothin more than to be found dead in a ditch. i want you to help identify a murderer, still rings in the back of her mind, and she’s brought back to thoughts of blomkvist.
‘ i work for milton security. all freelance jobs have to be okayed by my boss. i cannot help you. ’
❛ ------------freelance isn’t EXACTLY the word I would use. ❜ there’s a voice in kara’s head that sounds suspiciously like her mother’s & it’s cheerily saying ‘strike three’ ( mrs. palamas was a big baseball fan ) but she shakes that off & takes a step toward the other woman. lowering her voice to say, ❛ you’re actually the ONLY person who can help me. ❜ the operations division of SHIELD had the tech & some of the smartest people to ever have been gathered into a brain trust, but they were shooting blanks when it came to what they were dealing with the intel was LIMITED, that’s what kara had been dispatched to do: figure out what the hell was actually going on. all they knew for sure was that there were multiple suspects, one confirmed with some low-grade MIND CONTROL ability & one disgruntled ex-MIT computer nerd covering all their tracks.
That’s all history is, after all: scar tissue.
Stephen King, Mr. Mercedes (via wordsnquotes)
your skin without your scars would be like the sky without the stars
wordsinmyfingertips (via charismatiiic)
mcu ladies week 2 | day 2 ↳ unsung hero · kara palamas
To Live Is To Fight
Michael wanted to tell her that this was Hell, that trusting anyone was a mistake and that she would be better off without doing so. That would get him nowhere with her however and that was the opposite of what he was wanting to do here.
“I suppose that’s what I’m saying, yes,” he said rolling his shoulders in a shrug. “How did you get here? Clearly you died, but how? Did you make a demon deal?”
Truly Michael did not think that that was the case with this girl. Crowley would not trouble himself with locking her up and her soul wasn’t marked. It bugged him because she genuinely seemed lost and confused, as if she really did not know why she was here or why she was special. That fact set his nerves on edge and flamed anger deep inside of him…not at her but at the demons and Crowley himself, even Lucifer. Innocent souls did not belong here and it was clear that whatever they needed from her she did not have.
“You don’t even know,” he finally said before she even could answer. “It’s written across your face. You don’t know what they want and they keep torturing you anyways. They can’t see that whatever it was you had locked away in there is gone.”
Stepping closer he pressed his fingers against her temple indicating that he was speaking about her head and whatever she had once known. Perhaps she hadn’t even known whatever they were looking for and the king of hell had made a mistake, Michael wouldn’t have been shocked in the slightest.
well, if anything ------------the manifestation of a man was CONSISTENT, his questions didn’t get any less crazy. it almost makes her laugh, & maybe that unhinged ability to find some dark humor here is just another sign she’s more broken than she’s willing to admit. she’ sure that she had made a deal with a demon, but not in the crazy way he meant..where he was talking about an ACTUAL DEMON. not just a living black hole of a human being that destroyed everything around itself to serve it’s own interests ( & had no trouble dealing with loose ends ) a few answers present themselves: simple... brutally honest... she’s about to go with something in between when he INTERRUPTS to answer his own question. his anger feels as if it warms the air in it’s sudden intensity; it’s clear she’s not the only unhinged one down here. ( or maybe it’s just her imagination ) either way, when he advances on her she doesn’t move. wants to step back, but something keeps her feet rooted to the floor even as his finger presses to her temple. his people skills were more than rusty, but she bites her tongue before that remark can escape the privacy of her thoughts. ❛ yeah, well thanks, at least someone understands. ❜ she doesn’t move away from him, but she can’t help but speak into the void of awkward SILENCE left in the wake of his anger-inducing discovery that she was not special in the slightest. ❛ I keep telling them. I was brainwashed by this asshole named WHITEHALL. whatever I knew before that started coming back in bits & pieces after he got what was coming his way. but, I guess I died without getting it all back. I have NO IDEA what they’re looking for & I don’t know if I ever did? ❜
He paused again, just long enough to think over her offer while inhaling a slow breath through his nose. If he accepted her help, it would be a new pair of eyes that would be able to come up with new theories – and that was exactly what he needed to make progress, as much as he hated letting anyone touch anything where he’d set up.
There was a desk and books and two boards to pin things to and write on in his part of the basement, but until he found a theory that might actually bear fruit, there had been no reason to risk lives to try to get the monolith from SHIELD, which may have had a part in keeping him from making progress. Still, this was another person who could actually do something to help besides bring him food and try to cheer him up, and whatever help she could give, he would gladly take.
“I can bring you some of the things I’ve been reading through – if you’re getting bored in here, or anything. I’ve been looking at… EVERYTHING Kree related I can get my hands on, and I have at least twenty more books to skim through for information. And I can come up here more, maybe I can do some research in here instead of keeping myself cooped up in the basement so much.”
it takes a moment, a pause as the ideas she’s planted like seeds start to grow in his mind. she knew he had spent A LOT of his time as a member of a team, the idea couldn’t be wholly unappealing to the man. in fact, she can see the moment it clicks for him, when the projected benefits start to outweigh the risks & doubts, a pair of eyes trained to do research could always be of some ASSISTANCE after all. even if the scientific application escaped her, that was what he was there for right? maybe she could actually help him. it makes her feel that spark of camaraderie that had always been the rewarding part about being a member of SHIELD. funny thing, considering they would both stand trial as treasonous defectors at this point. two former agents of shield sitting in the middle of a hydra medical facility. with another FORMER agent somewhere running things, too chicken shit to come face her, or maybe just too busy being the exact thing he swore to her they were going to tear down or get away from. ❛ that would be great fitz, honestly. ------do you mind if I call you that? maybe I could start looking through some of the books today? I’m familiar with some of the KREE objects from WHITEHALL’S files. but, nothing mentioning a monolith. ❜ she scoots up a little further in the hospital bed, wincing slightly at her shifting injuries. there’s something else nagging at her mind & a small sigh escapes her lips. she didn’t want to dwell on the PAST, the things she’d done before felt like a different lifetime, but she had no idea what time felt like for him. to him what she’d done could feel like YESTERDAY. ❛ i’d also like to apologize for the...uh, ❜ she gestures to her neck, words suddenly getting tripped up in her mouth ( sorry wasn’t her best look ) ❛ holding a knife to your throat that one time on the quinjet ❜
this feels wrong. like she should be fighting for her life right now ; instead, here she is having drinks with the same woman who’d been trying to kill her six months ago. but there’s also the memories, the good ones, at the forefront of her mind as well. all of those missions, successes more often than not because they were who they were, and who they were were two DAMN good field agents. and she’s wishing, with everything she has, that they could go back to the way things used to be, when hydra had been nothing more than a distant thought, and she hadn’t quite forgotten how to smile like she meant it.
as her shot is slid across the counter towards her, she gives the bartender a thankful nod, calloused fingers curling around the the glass. she’s not ready for another, not just yet, but she’s quite happy to sit here and stare at it for awhile longer. she’s been all too happy to sit back and simply stare for awhile now ; these days, it’s easier to think when she’s mostly still, she’s found.
❛ i’m going to kill him. ❜ there’s no question in her tone ; the only reason she’s sitting here is because of the promise of being able to strangle grant ward to death with her bare hands. ( someone had once called her a bringer of death ; she figures now might be a good time to earn the name. ) it’s the promise that keeps her going, the one that has her waiting patiently for a man that might not show up for his shift, just so she could get the tiniest bit of a lead. she’s determined. angry. tired of looking over her shoulder for another poorly-executed revenge plot. ❛ you got a problem with that ? ❜
the melancholy of the past is so thick between them that it could be cut with a knife & kara finds the soothing CHILL of her fingers curling around the glass of her drink & she’s thanking the powers that be for the burn that accompanies the sip of orange juice flavored tequila. it assists with swallowing down emotion...regret that wouldn’t mean anything now. there’s no sorry for what she’d done. bobbi hadn’t disrespected her with those HOLLOW words ( even when she’d thought she wanted that ) & she wouldn’t be the one to start serving up platitudes now. not when they were both so close to CLOSURE from the person that had engineered what happened to both of them six months ago. ❛ only if you do it before I get a chance to ask him something, ❜ he was going to die. that much she’d known from the moment she’d started rehab in the hospital without a word from him. when the three shots started ringing out in her nightmares & words he’d strung together started to unravel. the GUILT of what she’d done for hydra was something she’d carry around inside her like POISON for the rest of her life, but there were questions she needed answered. whoever ended up killing grant ward wasn’t her concern; there were too many people he’d hurt on that list for her to waste time trying to climb to the top. another sip of her drink & she’s looking over at her companion. weighing the idea out in her mind that things maybe didn’t just happen for a reason, that the fates really were weaving the fabric of their tale. ❛ you almost had the best of him once, but I’m worried you’re in RECKLESS morse mode & you’re underestimating him, ❜ if kara is sure of anything it’s that grant IS as good as he thinks he is ( which is amazing considering his ego ) the last thing she needed on her conscious was the same woman who’s recovery she’d been keeping tabs on going & getting herself killed. ❛ don’t forget you caught him off-guard last time. ❜
HE WATCHED ENOUGH movies to know how this went && the dull language of FORMALITY was the same in all the languages he came across, which were automatically translated through his IMPLANT. it was all the same SHALLOW grandeur that hid HOSTILITY behind them. he wouldn’t BUY her words even if she was being HONEST by some galactic miracle.
he needed to be SWEET && play along with the fake GOODWILL represented at him && REFLECT it back at her until he got PATCHED up. everything was so LOUD for him && the pain circulating in his BODY wasn’t aiding with keeping his THOUGHT processes STRAIGHT. that was why he chose not to say MUCH. he could HEAR things – was it THUNDER, or rocks falling down, or perhaps it was PEOPLE shouting loudly to communicate with one another on an ALIEN crash site ? he couldn’t tell the DIFFERENCE.
‘ YEA’… I GET IT.
are you a cop ? some kind of super spy ? a James Bond girl ??
the medical team arrives in her peripheral vision & kara gives them the signal to HOLD their position. he’d fallen from space; it wasn’t an easy task to assess his threat level & his franchise reference is honestly throwing her off a little. ( even if maybe she’s a little flattered ) ❛ let’s go with door number two for now, we can discuss the finer details when you’re feeling better. ❜ she takes a step toward the man, testing for THREAT response & general awareness. he wasn’t at PEAK performance by any measurement, but she’d risk a fight to assure the safety of WHITEHALL’S team. ❛ you’ll receive medical treatment en route to one of our facilities. ❜ she crouches a safe distance, but close enough now to catch his gaze. dilated pupils, probably a CONCUSSION, she waves the medics over. this would prove an interesting acquisition; blood & tissue samples would be TOP priority. even a preliminary report would be pointless without them. wasting the director’s time was not on her agenda. the other heads would have their ears to the network on this one as well, sloppy work would be UNACCEPTABLE. ❛ please try to comply with the staff, moving you may be painful, but it’s necessary. -----------can you tell us what feels injured? ❜
‘ i’m a cynic. i believe everyone has it in them to kill another person. ’
█┊ᴛʜᴇ ɢɪʀʟ ᴡʜᴏ ᴘʟᴀʏᴇᴅ ᴡɪᴛʜ ғɪʀᴇ ( 𝒶𝒸𝒸𝑒𝓅𝓉𝒾𝓃𝑔 )
it’s a DARK sentiment; one that would prove the fight of all our better angels futile. it speaks volumes about the man standing, like a worn bronze statue of ares, before her. he was like war wasn’t he? -----------to be war maybe you had to believe that everyone was capable of the same terrible things that you were. grant ward was battle-bred & released upon SHIELD like the greek warriors chosen to dwell within the trojan horse. ( the select few who were able to bring a once glorious civilization to it’s knees. )in another version of reality maybe she’d been one of the soldiers to stand against him that day, another shield agent to add to the body count, instead of the disgrace she’d become at the hands of WHITEHALL. a world where they’d never stumbled into this tenuous alliance. she wonders how many layers of justification she’d have to dig through to have an honest conversation with him about the day shield fell. or, if the past was even worth dredging up. it wasn’t like his words could CHANGE anything; she’d never have what the sharp fragments of her memory kept cutting her with. little bits of her life before. arching an eyebrow, kara gestures to the bed on the other side of the small room. she wasn’t sure if she completely agreed with him, but her experience with people had left much to be desired over the years. ❛ you can contemplate morality from a prone position mr. swiss cheese. you’re supposed to be RESTING. doctor’s orders. ❜ in fact he was probably over-due for some more pain medication, ❛ how are you even standing right now? ❜
BRICS summit. that’s right. ( hmm… some of his former colleagues might even have been there. ) an almost laugh presents itself in the form quirked lips and dancing eyes ;; but a moment later his head cocks as shoulders raise in a halfhearted shrug. ❝ depends on your definition of fun. ❞ okay, well, there was one thing … ❝ one of the new agents actually fainted when we took the helicarrier up. forgot to mention he was afraid of heights. ❞ a pause. ❝ he’s fine. ❞
❛ scrubbed the deck with his face? nice. are they just letting everyone through the academy now? ❜ kara’s THINKING they should have taken a seat at the back of the room as she’s on the verge of laughing & her partner in crime doesn’t look too far behind. why meetings had to be such a drudge of formality she wasn’t sure. ❛ I can’t totally blame the guy though, the first time was quite a rush. & i’m not scared of anything. ❜
‘ … i have somewhere to be. ’ she has no reason to CONFRONT, but has no reason to talk — she doesn’t like how she’s being looked at. it purses sullen lips into a line, and eyes never once leave the other’s. ( she doesn’t feel THREATENED, but there is the hint of something that’s underlying; do not touch me. it screams off the rivets of her jacket and is furled in the ones at her belt, too. the BLACK is to barb her and make her ready. do not touch me. )
‘ what is it? ’
she bites back the immediate apology that is more a product of her upbringing than her training. although at the moment, TEXTBOOK wasn’t really working for her ---------maybe a change of approach was warranted. she calms her nerves with a visible queue, by taking a deep breath before starting over. ( NOBODY was a lock without a combination ) ❛ truthfully? we need your help finding someone. & if you could work me into your schedule, I’d like to discuss your ability to locate things. ❜
