Smoke and mirrors

indie petrel. sideblog to aspearbarry

[disguyses]

fracturedhues‌:

❝The HQ looks quiet tonight. Well… I can hear the laughs and screams from some grunts outside the building, but I’ll try to keep them in the line tomorrow…❞

“I’d say wait until New Year. Why keep them straight for five days when they’re just gonna get worse on the 31st?”

[disguyses]

“I should make Rocket base Holiday bingo on all the reasons people-” A fake cough doesn’t cover up the name Archer very well, “-won’t let us decorate. Free space is just the word No.”

[disguyses]

" I love ya, Uncle Petrel! "

Damn kids threw that word around like a baseball, didn’t they?

Not that it didn’t have merit- he was the best uncle out there…at least between the choices. Proton was, what, maybe second on the basis that you could get a neat shiny knife out of him. Archer fell down the uncle ladder so hard the stick in his ass might puncture a couple vitals. 

He gave Dana a well earned head pat. 

“Yeah, you too, kid.”

[disguyses]

your petrel is amazing and perfect and i'm so glad you're here on tumblr. thumbs up a++ portrayal. love, i'm still cackling at your about page

[me, opening petrels about page: what the hell did i write?about page: remember that you didnt wanna actually rewrite his about after the third time you made him?me: remove mun access to about page

[the-memedaddy]

[disguyses]

" UNCLE PETREL. UNCLE PETREL. UNCLE PETREL " Cue Dana throwing herself at him.

Welp, there went his knees. 

“One of these days I’m gonna side step you and you’re gonna face plant, you know that? Gotta give a lil more warning to an incoming.”

[disguyses]

shujinkouno‌:

“Goddit, goddit.” He’s perfectly happy being at the bottom of the command chain. Not about to go around screwing that up.

Oichi-san and Muneshige had the better heads for strategy during the war, but no one could say Hiroiie was bad at following them. “Y’need me t’play bate? Or ‘m Ah th’ ‘xample?” If there was a traitor, he needed to be dealt with. Even Oda-sama’s armies might have toppled if a piece went missing.

“Lil bit ‘a both. Basically your story is that you were going off talkin’ to the wrong sort and we dumped your body, except the person meetin’ with our suspected rat was your partner that wants the information you died for to be carried on. It’s a real tear jerker production. Could win an Oscar.” Except then they would have to dispose of the entire movie going population. Maybe his talents were wasted in crime. 

“So if anyone tries to report you dead or make a raid on rocket, we just bring your pretty little face out, show them everything’s hunky dory, and then we kill the snitch. If they come back to us telling us your partners playing two games of chess, we let him off.”

[disguyses]

shujinkouno‌:

“Hikari!” The Eevee’s nails clack on the floor as she arrives. “’Ere. Ch’w ohn dis.” She looks at the shirt, Hiroiie, and the shirt again before taking a mouthful and nibbling diligently. Where was Tsuyo when Hiroiie needed him? He’d never turn down a perfectly good meal.

“Where’n we goin’ Ah needs ta look li’ Ah bee’ dead fer?”

“Last I checked, corpses don’t ask questions.” Or people who asked questions ended up corpses. Words belonged in some order, but fuck if he knew which way was right.

“But, I guess there’s no real harm in you knowin’- we’re fishing for a rat. We’ll feed him bad information and see what starts circulating where. If it pops in places we don’t want him affiliating, he ends up the corpse. If he reports back to us like he’s supposed to, we’re all a big, happy, loyal family.”

[disguyses]

[Actually I might officially move this sideblog onto @magonumberfive just because magoichi has more reason to follow rockets and the like than barry so my dash can stay a lil cleaner? hold on that 

[disguyses]

[Nevermind on the holding I did that. Petrel is now attached to Mago’s account, but as I updated on my rules essentially if I follow you on at least one of my main accounts that’s mutual enough for me if it is for you. sideblogs are fun

[disguyses]

[Actually I might officially move this sideblog onto @magonumberfive just because magoichi has more reason to follow rockets and the like than barry so my dash can stay a lil cleaner? hold on that 

[disguyses]

shujinkouno‌:

@disguyses

“C’n Ah ditch th’ shirt?” It’d match more for the dead look Petrel’s going for. Really shirts are just uncomfy and difficult to wear.

“How many corpses you see without a shirt? Ribs would me a nice touch, but there’s gotta be a reason for it.” Maybe parts torn off for a rodent feasting look, but it wasn’t like he had anything a Rattata could really chew on. 

Actually- “You can take off whatever your lil buddy there can chew off of it. How’s that?”

[disguyses]

[so everyone's pretty much on the headcanons that Archer and petrel hate each other which yeah it's because complete opposite personalities. Some people ship them because of that but I never jumped on that boat but I did build a new one

Okay now follow me. Hear me out

Please imagine if petrel and Archer were related

Can u imagine Fuck up older brother petrel who was always the family favorite despite everything and over achieving little brother that's just looking for attention who gets it from Giovanni but then it turns out your shithead brother also works in rocket

[disguyses]

yo man where the firepower at 

[disguyses]

leadthemissing‌:

“I’m sorry there, but the only Black hair girl in this department is my kid… and she doesn’t fit any other part of that description.” Espeically considering his kid was way to young to even consider smoking.

“Sorry to disappoint you but i’m on the science team, but I can try to help look if you need it.”

“Aw, nah, it’s fine. It’s nothing urgent or anything: she just owes me a pack of smokes. The longer it takes to run into her, the more interest I can charge. Thanks, though.” 

Science wing, huh? No wonder he never saw this guy before. “What’s’it you got your hands in? Chem shit? It’s the coat ‘s all- don’t see the nerds in lab gear too often.”

[disguyses]

@leadthemissing from that starter call

“Hey, doc, I’m looking for a girl in your department. Black hair, usually in a bun, glasses, tall, followed around by a magnemite, smokes?”

A pause.

“You’re not med staff, are you?”

[disguyses]

[and a lil starter call on petty too]

[disguyses]

[more rocket aesthetics from work:

I consider myself friends with one guy. I have no idea what his name is. He calls me temp (like temporary worker). I just know him as dorag guy from assembly

Lots of people speaking in their native tongues to each other and swapping back and forth all the time it's really nice. Non native speakers pick up on things and the native speakers light up. I wished a girl happy birthday in Spanish and my co worker was like : D!

I don't think anyone really knows anyone's name that doesn't work in their department. There's one guy at work everyone just calls cheeseburger. That's his name now. The one guy I do know is Bob.

Bob has a fake rubber chicken on one of the shift levers of his fork lift

So much gossip

There's as least one supervisor no one likes. So like Archer.