Who Am I?

I want a perfect body, I want a perfect soul. Terminated x2. SW:230, CW:170,5’7 UGW: 110 lbs - active June 2026 ~ TW: mentions of ED/thinspo and occasional mentions of SH~ NOT PRO

[disorderly-selfdestruction]

I decided maybe it was time to introduce myself n make a pinned post.

I’m syd, 21 y/o, they/them

~Tw: ED, SH~

I’ve struggled w my weight and self image since around 3rd/4th grade. I struggle predominantly with an ED (restrictive), anxiety, self harm, and addiction.

There’s a lot of anorexia in my family history, and im scared it’ll be the death of me. But even tho that scares me, getting fat scares me more.

Im NOT pro, I may not be in recovery but I support and encourage it.

My HW/Sw: 175lbs

LW: 105lbs

Cw: 190

Gw1: 150

Gw2:135

Gw3:120

Gw4: 110

Gw5: 100

Ugw: 88

Height: 5’7

BMI:

Goal BMI: 13.7

I have repeatedly lost the weight and gained it over and over again. This is getting tiring.

[paper-wounds]

[paper-wounds]

[disorderly-selfdestruction]

Finally losing weight again and I’m fucking stoked. The first time I lost weight I went from 180 to 110, then through a toxic relationship and alcoholism I got up to 230 and am finally back at 180. It’s still way too high, and I have a lot more to go, but I’m excited seeing this progress.

I’m really scared of having loose skin since I’ve already lost this weight before so if anyone had any tips let me know :/

[i-will-recover-tomorrow]

[paper-wounds]

[rainywhispersblog-deactivated20]

[obscurix]

“You were supposed to be something.”

yeah. yeah i know.

[disorderly-selfdestruction]

☠️

How I’ve been feeling recently

[disorderly-selfdestruction]

I wish I could run away. From my problems. My anxiety. My stress. My future is going nowhere. I’m in love with a man that doesn’t even seem to notice me, yet we’ve been dating for months now. But he’s the only person I want next to me at night. I want to disappear.

I want to be a ghost. Sometimes I feel like I already am one though

[killmeb4ikillmysself]

relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse relapse

[mylittlezepher]

I’m so tired of being here. I want to go home. But where is my home.

[elijahkingsley]

[foone]

I'd be unstoppable if I didn't have to worry about time or money or having a body

[siickangel]

i wish i didn’t care all the time

[fakehappinessisstillhappiness]

vibes are off again. guess i'll go hang myself in the garage since you hate me and want me dead

[i-will-recover-tomorrow]