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how severe does dissociation have to be before it’s considered a diagnosis rather than a symptom? I think I have derealization and I’m constantly overthinking if I’m actually here, but I’m not sure if it’s enough that I should bring attention to it? as in if I should tell my parents. it does affect my everyday life tho because I’m checking if I’m here and only about half of the time I am

If an experience is impacting your daily life, then it is important to seek help in relation to it. It sounds like the derealisation you experience is causing you significant difficulty and perhaps distress. I think it would be useful to talk to your parents and seek some support with this so you can move forwards. Check out the grounding techniques you can find online for the short term and then look for some assistance in the shorter term. Good luck 💙

Idk if it's just me,but when triggers arent around when the person/thing is there,but suddenly when they're gone for a length of time/ur out for say a weekend trip all seems to break loose.For me my dad a few times left for month long rehab and in those times I had panic attacks more than usual,anxiety higher, +constantly looking over my shoulder w/nightmares.But when I'm around him, long/short time,I don't have any of what I exp when he isn't there. Idk..

That’s a hard one, maybe it is because when you know where you Dad is and what he is doing, it feels more predictable and you feel slightly safer than when you don’t know exactly where he is or what he is up to? Just a thought? Good Luck 💙

Some days I dissociate for the entire day or more and It’s getting to the point where I go days without eating. I have actually lost weight from it but that may also be from stress or depression in general I have it all so idk - how do you take care of yourself when your not mentally there?

That is a hard one, I use reminders on my phone a lot to prompt me to eat at regular intervals and remember meds and I have also in the past created a self-care chart so I can record what I have managed to do of basic self care tasks, and then that has helped me highlight where I was perhaps struggling with things. Do you have anyone who can prompt you to eat something at any point? Another idea is to do some preparation of small meals when you are up to it, and in that case when you are present enough to eat you have something quickly prepared, but I understand stress and depression means you can really not feel like eating, so perhaps just try little bits often. I would also recommend also always having a drink available, so you do not get dehydrated. Good Luck <3

hello, i have DID! recently i came out to my family as trans but the entire thing felt like a dream, and now every time they bring up trans stuff with me it feels like i'm in a dream and it didn't really happen? i think it's just the big change that's making me dissociate so hard. do you have any advice on what i can do to help myself dissociate less? thank you!

Hi, wow that is brave and courageous, well done. I hope they are being accepting. So the best way to prevent and ground yourself from dissociation is to use grounding techniques, these can be found in many of our posts or under the grounding hashtag on tumblr, or on the grounding tab on our page on a laptop. Some basics are to use your senses, using an ice pack to press gently somewhere it would feel OK to, a smell you associate with a positive memory, songs you can listen to that bring you to the here and now, walking without shoes on to feel connected to the floor, eating or drinking something sweet, bitter, sour or sweet or rubbing moisturising cream into your hands or anywhere you like firmly, connecting back with yourself. I hope some of these or more you can find online help you in staying more grounded. Good Luck <3

So I saw my therapist again today, and I mentioned I thought of something last night that was what I imagined to be a trigger of sorts; the dark and seeing my drunk father and a silhouette kinda. And I figured it must b why I am so afraid of the dark possibly. She asked if I was up to do some emdr, we did, and at the end of the session I didn't completely rewire the memory to a better thing, but I told her it felt like a step of progress and I was really glad about it. Just wanted to share that

That is so positive! It is so good for me and our followers to hear this! I am really pleased EMDR is helping you to start taking steps in the right direction, that is brilliant! Keep going and feel free to update us like this anytime. Good Luck <3

my dad is one of the main reasons i suffer from ptsd along with dpdr symptoms, but i still love him. he brings back those bad memories and feelings sometimes but i love him. how do i move on, and “forgive him”? i know i’m supposed to forgive my abuser and kick them out of my life but he’s my dad, what do i do?

That is a really tough one, I think it is important as soon as you are able, if you haven’t already, to move out from living with your Dad, because then you can choose to see him if you wish, when you want and on your terms. There is no right or wrong about forgiving people, you must do what is right for you. If you do not think forgiving him will help you move on, whether he is your Dad or not, you should try to follow your gut instinct. Continuing abusive relationships, even those from the past is hugely draining and difficult. It may be that you don’t forgive him, but you also do not kick him out, you simply set the rules now, when and where does he see you and on your terms. So you feel like you are in control. Ultimately it is a choice, but I would say unless there are really positive reasons for keeping your Dad in your life, the negatives might outweigh the positives. You are right he is your Dad, and it is so complex and painful, but he has not done the right things to you or by you. I would write some lists about pros and cons of staying in contact and about what is most important to you. Stay Strong. Good Luck <3

When people dissociate, where does their “mind”go?

This is a big question, and one I cannot answer. It depends however, some people have an “inner world” where there parts or them selves go when they dissociate, others, like myself simply don’t know and are just in a “black hole” as it were with no experience or memories. Some people who are dissociating partially due to stress or trauma may be transported back in time to that traumatic event or time. Good Luck <3

Can DID ever be self-diagnosed? Like if you can't gain access to a therapist? Or does it have to be confirmed by a professional?

Technically no, to have confirmed DID it is required to be diagnosed by a psychiatrist of clinical psychologist and there are diagnostic tests for it. Some doctors would not accept you had it unless you were properly diagnosed. However, if you identify with the symptoms and find it helpful to your life to live and state that you have DID, no one is stopping you from doing it either. There is a big debate on self-diagnosis, my opinion is, is that if it helpful and improves your quality of life then that is great, but often people self-diagnose and research diagnoses for the wrong reasons. Good Luck <3

What does it mean if you forget certain facts about yourself? What form, or type of dissociation would classify that symptom?

Dissociative fugue mainly is an acute and maybe a prolonged period of forgetting personal information in particular amongst other symptoms, however this can also happen during dissociative amnesia. Good Luck <3

I've been in this daze like state for about two days now where I'm sorta aware of everything but I just feel like I'm not actually aware of what's going on? And my body doesn't feel like it's mine and I can barely stand to look in the mirror sometimes because I don't really recognize the face that's looking back at me and it's worrying me cause it's never lasted this long before. Is there anything I can do to make it stop?

This sounds like a long period of depersonalisation, although I cannot diagnose. Some body focussed grounding may help. Like a cold shower, or using a strong smelling body scrub or moisturiser you like the smell of. You could also look through some pictures of yourself and whilst smelling something that reminds you of a good memory where you felt yourself. Also take a look at grounding ideas on our page or the grounding tag on tumblr. Good Luck 💜

Heyo, to previous anon thats age regression! I age regress too ;D

Some support for the previous anon. 💪🏻💜💪🏻

I don’t know if I’m dissociating into my younger self or just being childish. I sometimes feel small and I’ll be really happy and want to play games and get kiddy things like stickers, child band aids etc but then I’ll start getting body memories and it’s bad. I’ll pout and frown like a baby and feel really sad and small. I don’t speak as much and I behave like I’m around 3/4 but the trauma happened after that when I was 7/8. Does this make sense?

Yes it makes sense. This could be a dissociative experience, even with the age of your trauma. But I cannot diagnose. As you have awareness you aren’t experience full amnesia but it could be diassociative in origin. Or it could be some level of subconscious driveto act an age you felt safe and happy at. Either way if this is troubling you I would seek some advice from a psychiatric professional. Whether it is dissociative or more “chosen” it doesn’t matter. Your experiences are valid and you deserve support. Good Luck 💜

So I've always heard to forgive your abuser no matter what they've done(pos from places that don't understand trauma as well as us)+then others saying that it's okay to not. We don't have to. It's our choice.And I love it.Its just, my dad asks me about how I've felt with him back from recovery again+goes into things w/in it.Almost sounding like he is wanted forgiveness which I get.I just don't think I'm ready for that given the trauma+hell I went thru while he acts like my trauma never happened

Forgiving abusers is a difficult and emotive topic. My personal opinion is that the forgiveness should be about you this time. Not them. If you get something positive from forgiving them, then that is worth trying to do. If it makes you feel worse about things or you don’t feel comfortable with it, then don’t. Forgiving abusers is a personal choice and should be done for yourself and your healing journey, not for others. Especially not for the abuser themself. I personally will not forgive mine, but I will accept what has happened and move forward with the consequences I carry as a result of their actions. Good Luck 💙

I've heard that nightmares/bad dreams are part of ptsd(one of side affects at least). Usually they're said to be only about the event or one of the traumatic experiences. I was wondering if it was possible that whatever bad dream/nightmare experienced that had no real traumatic event but the feelings at least there (like either fighting myself or for the abuser to understand) is kinda the same at least? I'm sorry if I sound too vague, it's just been on my mind the past couple days..

Yes, this is absolutely possible. Nightmares with a level of threat similar to the trauma or similar feelings associated but coming from a different prompting event are likely to be part of PTSD, if you meet the other criteria. Good Luck 💙

+ for mor context : She (my flatmate) tried to guilt-trip me into leaving and then belittled me. I dont think she is a bad person at all though, she probably just didnt realize that what she was doing affected me as much as it did. :/ (Also thank u for keeping this blog, it has helped me so much !!! + its okay if you dont feel like answering this, i totally understand n dont want to burden u with my problems❤)

Sorry didn’t see this one. I think being open with her will help this situation, as at the moment she has no context or explanation for why you are so different at points. I’m so glad you have found our blog helpful!! Good Luck 💙

Hi, rn im recovering from an emotional flashback (followed by intense dissociation and anxiety) that happened a few days ago. My flat mate got frustrated at me for not wanting to go out with her after her other plans got cancelled. She yelled at me and then left rly mad. Im soo tired and also feel unsafe around her rn so she thinks im mad at her (im not, just anxious). How can i explain this? She doesnt know anything about my cptsd but i have previously told her that i dont like being yelled at

Hi. This sounds hard and scary for you. I think it might help to have a chat with her and using words and descriptions and a level of sharing you are comfortable with, let her have an insight into why you respond the way you do. This may help her understand and be more compassionate towards you. You could say you have had some difficult past experiences that have left you often feeling anxious, which may look like you are angry but it is really just that your brain has so much to cope with it doesn’t have extra room to be very smiley and polite and your “normal self”. Good Luck 💙

Is it weird that i can remember everything When im dissociating. Everybody says that they forgot but i dont and im not even sure that im suffering from it. It just feels like a dream and nothing is real.

If everyone says they forget everything totally it is likely they are potentially not telling the truth. Dissociation is on a spectrum, and actually full dissociative amnesia is far less common than other the other experiences that you describe. The experience you have, known as derealisation is far more common. Your experience is 110% valid and if you can relate to the symptoms, then that is OK. You don’t need a diagnosis to feel that a diagnosis resonates with you and ask questions and look for help. Good Luck 💙

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